When Tao Zhi and the others returned after eating, Li Shuang Jiang’s group was standing at the beef noodle shop, taking out their phones to call them.
The phone vibrated twice in her pocket. Tao Zhi answered, watching Li Shuang Jiang holding his phone not far away, his voice coming through the receiver: “Hey, boss, are you back yet?”
“I’m back,” Tao Zhi said.
Li Shuang Jiang: “Where are you? Is Brother Huai with you?”
Tao Zhi turned her head, glanced at Jiang Qi Huai, and said with a straight face: “No.”
As soon as she finished speaking, Li Shuang Jiang turned around and saw them walking over.
Li Shuang Jiang: “…”
“Boss, why are you lying?!” Li Shuang Jiang said into the phone. “Why didn’t you come eat beef noodles together?”
Tao Zhi hung up and walked over: “Too oily. We ate something lighter.”
Li Shuang Jiang made an “oh” sound, nodded, and looked her up and down carefully: “Boss, are you okay? Did the roller coaster make you feel unwell? Why does your face look so…”
So flushed?
Li Shuang Jiang stopped mid-sentence.
Tao Zhi’s complexion really couldn’t be called bad right now. In fact, maybe because the afternoon sun was too strong, her cheeks were rosy, and even her ears were a bit red.
Although they had returned together with Jiang Qi Huai, for some reason the atmosphere between them seemed a bit strange. It wasn’t exactly awkward, but rather seemed somewhat guilty.
On Tao Zhi’s part, at least.
Li Shuang Jiang quietly moved closer to Tao Zhi and said in a low voice: “Did you make Brother Huai angry again?”
Tao Zhi found his phrasing quite unsatisfactory: “What do you mean I made him angry again? Do I pick fights with him every day or something?”
Li Shuang Jiang realized he had misspoken and immediately raised both hands: “Absolutely not what I meant.”
Fu Xi Ling on the side couldn’t listen anymore. She squeezed over holding a bottle of mineral water and handed it to Tao Zhi: “Drink some water.”
Tao Zhi took it and drank a couple sips.
Fu Xi Ling looked up at her: “Are you feeling unwell somewhere? Your stomach? Nauseous? Do you want to throw up now?”
Tao Zhi wanted to laugh: “No, I just didn’t particularly want beef noodles, so we ate something else.”
Fu Xi Ling nodded and walked to her side, quietly linking arms with her.
The amusement park was more crowded in the afternoon than in the morning. The lines for popular attractions were longer than before, but chatting and taking photos while waiting made the process not boring.
After they had lined up for three or four attractions, it started getting dark.
The park lights came on. Li Shuang Jiang pulled out his phone, looked at the schedule and said: “There’s a fireworks show at eight o’clock. Want to watch?”
“Let’s find the best spot to watch from, somewhere high,” Zhao Ming Qi said excitedly. He had been the most active all day, running around everywhere having fun, and still looked very energetic now, as if he wouldn’t get tired at all.
Tao Zhi was already somewhat tired. She walked to a nearby bench and sat down, listening to them discuss where to watch the fireworks.
She propped her elbow on her knee, swinging the water bottle in her hand, and saw Jiang Qi Huai say a few words to Li Shuang Jiang before turning and leaving.
Tao Zhi stood up, yawned and walked over: “Have you decided?”
“Let’s ride the Ferris wheel!” Li Shuang Jiang said. “Zhao Ming just calculated the timing. We’ll go right at the perfect time — for the eight o’clock fireworks, we’ll watch from the highest point of the Ferris wheel.”
Tao Zhi responded with a sound, seeming to want to say something but holding back.
“Brother Huai has something to do tonight, so he left first,” Li Shuang Jiang added.
“…”
Tao Zhi turned her face away and pouted: “I didn’t ask about him.”
Happy Valley’s Ferris wheel was reportedly the largest in the capital, with a diameter of nearly 100 meters and over 40 glass panoramic cabins. Each cabin could seat six people.
There were many people in line. Zhao Ming Qi had staked out the queue entrance early, holding his phone and watching the time carefully.
When the time was right, he pointed forward and gave the command: “Brothers! Charge!!!”
Li Shuang Jiang had Tao Zhi and Fu Xi Ling’s bags crossed in an X across his chest, leading the charge. The group rushed toward the queue entrance like a scene from Resident Evil with zombies storming a city, frightening the Ferris wheel staff member to take a step back.
In the night, the Ferris wheel looked like a giant circular night light dial. Neon lights slowly changed colors, illuminating the open space around the Ferris wheel. Tao Zhi followed Fu Xi Ling into the same cabin, with Li Shuang Jiang, Zhao Ming Qi and Jiang Zheng Jun sitting across from them.
The Ferris wheel gradually rose, moving so slowly that those sitting inside could barely feel it moving. Tao Zhi rested her forehead against the cool glass window, staring outside lost in thought.
At a certain height, there was a faint sound from the small plaza on the left side of the amusement park. Fireworks rose from the ground into the night sky, then exploded in mid-air, breaking through the clouds to light up the night.
The people in the cabin cheered and pressed against the windows, taking out their phones to take photos.
Tao Zhi heard someone call her name.
She turned around to see Fu Xi Ling holding up her phone toward her. The phone’s flash went off with a white light before her eyes, followed by the sound of the shutter in her ears.
Tao Zhi was still dazed, not realizing she was the subject of this photo.
Until Li Shuang Jiang’s head leaned over, stroking his chin while looking at the photo on Fu Xi Ling’s phone and commenting: “Our boss would be experimental school goddess level if she just didn’t talk.”
Fu Xi Ling wasn’t too satisfied with this comment and said seriously: “She looks even better when she’s talking.”
“Yes, yes, yes,” Li Shuang Jiang nodded, pointing at her phone. “Send me this photo? I’ll organize the photos from our outing today and post them on WeChat Moments, make a nice nine-grid layout.”
Fu Xi Ling flatly refused: “No, I want to keep it for myself.”
Li Shuang Jiang: “Fu Xi Ling, now you’re being stingy. Everyone has the right to appreciate beauty.”
Fu Xi Ling continued taking photos of the fireworks outside: “No.”
“Hey, why are your fireworks photos so much better looking than mine too? Just send me everything in one go.”
“No.”
Tao Zhi listened to the two of them bickering back and forth, then turned her head to continue looking at the night view.
Fu Xi Ling finally couldn’t resist Li Shuang Jiang’s persistent pestering and sent all the photos from their day out to the WeChat group. When Tao Zhi got home that night, Ji Fan was sitting on the couch looking through the photos in the group.
Tao Zhi went to the kitchen to get a glass of water, then walked over and stood behind the couch, leaning forward to take a look.
There were several photos from during the day that had caught Jiang Qi Huai. Ji Fan pointed at the person in the photo: “He went too.”
Tao Zhi had water in her mouth, so she just made a sound of acknowledgment.
Ji Fan swiped through several photos of fireworks taken in the Ferris wheel, then came to her photo: “This photo of you is quite deceptive.”
Tao Zhi couldn’t speak while drinking water, so she raised her hand and smacked his head.
Ji Fan covered his head with an “ow” and was about to speak when the bathroom door by the first-floor corridor opened: “Xiao Fan, where’s the tissue paper? Mom will change it for you.”
Tao Zhi froze and turned her head.
The woman wore a navy blue long dress, with exquisite makeup and skin so good it seemed time had left no trace on her. She looked almost exactly the same as in Tao Zhi’s memories from years ago, familiar to the point of being strange.
Their similar black eyes met. The woman looked at her and also froze for a moment before finally smiling: “Zhi Zhi is back?”
Tao Zhi stood holding her water glass, unable to speak.
Ji Qin slowly walked over and stood in front of her: “Our Zhi Zhi has grown up, now as tall as Mom.”
Tao Zhi’s lips moved, and though she had just drunk water, the word came out a bit hoarse: “…Mom.”
Time is the sharpest weapon, able to whittle a relationship down to paper-thin and make a term of address feel awkward and obscure.
Even if this person was blood-related to her, once her closest person.
Tao Zhi stood there, not knowing how she should react in this situation.
Seeming to notice her uncertainty, Ji Qin leaned forward slightly and took her hand, walking forward two steps: “And become pretty too. Mom almost didn’t recognize you at first glance.”
Ji Fan casually lay on the back of the couch, patting it twice: “Why are you standing to talk?”
Ji Qin glared at him and led Tao Zhi around the couch to sit next to Ji Fan.
Tao Zhi sat stiffly beside her, putting her water glass on the coffee table and turning her head.
“I brought over the transfer paperwork for Xiao Fan. He told me you went out with classmates, so I thought I’d wait for you to come back, to see you,” Ji Qin smiled at her, “To see if our little Zhi Zhi has changed.”
“Changed? More than that,” Ji Fan said, shaking his head. “She’s gotten even better at bullying people.”
Ji Qin turned and lightly patted the back of his hand: “Act more like a man. How old are you to still be bickering all day? Now that you’re in the same class as Zhi Zhi, study more with your sister, don’t just think about playing all day.”
Ji Fan protested wrongfully: “But isn’t this age exactly when I should be playing? How can I waste all my good youth on books? Besides, Zhi Zhi has turned over a new leaf now. She’s realized the true meaning of youth and started enjoying life. She didn’t score much higher than me on the last test.”
Ji Qin froze for a moment, unconsciously glancing at Tao Zhi, somewhat surprised.
Ji Fan hadn’t thought before speaking, and only after saying it did he realize he might have said something wrong. He pressed his lips together and stopped talking.
The living room fell into silence, with no one speaking.
Tao Zhi lowered her eyes, her fingers curled together, nails digging deep into her palms.
She suddenly felt extremely embarrassed.
She didn’t know if it was because of the familiar intimacy Ji Qin showed when interacting with Ji Fan, so different from the careful unfamiliarity when speaking with her, or if it was because Ji Fan had brought up her grades in front of Ji Qin.
Her poor grades had never made her feel embarrassed before — not during parent-teacher meetings, not when she got in trouble and was criticized by the school, not when classmates whispered behind her back about getting into the good class through connections.
But at this moment, if there had been a crack in the ground, she would definitely have crawled into it, along with her shattered bit of self-esteem.
Ji Qin had reason to be surprised. After all, before, at all the parent-teacher meetings she attended and all the report cards she saw, Tao Zhi had been first in her class.
And in these years since leaving, she had never participated in or learned about any of Tao Zhi’s growth or changes.
Ji Fan realized he had misspoken. The moment Ji Qin raised her hand to pinch him, he bounced up from the couch, using the excuse of needing to pee to quickly flee the crime scene, wanting to leave them some time alone.
Only Tao Zhi and Ji Qin were left in the living room.
Ji Qin didn’t stay long. After they sat on the couch talking for a while, she received a phone call. After hanging up she turned her head: “It’s getting late, Mom should go now.”
Tao Zhi nodded and stood up.
Ji Qin put on her coat. Tao Zhi handed her the bag from the couch, opened the door at the entrance, and walked with her all the way to the yard gate.
She followed behind the woman. She hadn’t noticed earlier, but now looking from behind, Ji Qin seemed thinner than she remembered.
The two stopped at the yard gate. Ji Qin turned around and looked at her with gentle eyes: “Don’t take what Xiao Fan said just now to heart. Grades aren’t the most important thing for you all. Mom also hopes Zhi Zhi can be happy. If Zhi Zhi feels more relaxed this way, that’s fine too.”
Tao Zhi lowered her head: “Mm.”
Ji Qin’s tone remained gentle throughout: “Zhi Zhi should eat well, don’t be picky like when you were little.”
Tao Zhi nodded again and said softly: “You should eat well too.”
Ji Qin looked at her.
Tao Zhi still didn’t raise her head. She bit her lip and said very quietly: “You’ve gotten so much thinner.”
Ji Qin’s fingers twitched.
She seemed to want to raise her hand to hug her, but in the end didn’t, only smiling and saying: “Our Zhi Zhi has learned to care about people now.”
Only after Ji Qin turned and left did Tao Zhi raise her head.
The night fog was heavy. She watched the woman’s silhouette disappear into the night, standing at the iron gate without moving.
Tree shadows swayed as autumn night wind blew fallen leaves rolling past. Tao Zhi had come out without a jacket, wearing only a thin sweater. She stood there habitually shrinking her neck and shivering, yet strangely didn’t feel very cold.
She had thought before that even if Ji Qin and Tao Xiu Ping separated, maybe it wouldn’t be different for her.
She would still be her mom. She could still talk to her, meet with her, tell her about things that happened at school. Maybe they would just meet less often and couldn’t chat as frequently.
But in reality, many things did become different.
From initially calling once a week, when she would talk endlessly to Ji Qin about many things, asking when she would come back to see her, to later once every few months. Then after that, besides brief phone calls or text messages during holidays, there was no other contact.
Tao Zhi had never asked why. The adult world had too many reasons and causes that children didn’t understand.
Even though deep in her heart she understood clearly that Ji Qin probably just didn’t miss her enough.
Just like back then when she had chosen Ji Fan, not her.
She hugged her arms and slowly crouched down against the iron gate, wrinkled her nose and took a deep breath, roughly rubbing her eye sockets against her arm. The sweater fabric rubbed her eyelids until they hurt.
Until footsteps approached from afar, then stopped, silently disappearing.
Someone stood in front of her. Tao Zhi was about to raise her head when she heard a familiar voice carry with the wind from very close by: “Whose little groundhog is this?”
Tao Zhi looked up.
Jiang Qi Huai was still wearing the same clothes from when he left in the afternoon. He crouched in front of her, looking at her straight on, his voice clear and cold with a barely detectable trace of teasing: “Not going back to your burrow to sleep so late at night, staying out here in the wind.”
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