Jiang Qi Huai had very early memories. While other children could only vaguely recall things from kindergarten, he felt his memories began when he was two or three years old.
The earliest memories were in black and white – a large room crowded with dozens of beds, a dim corridor with peeling paint, tall old iron doors, groups of children running around in identical white clothes, and the stern-faced director who never smiled.
Color began to appear the day he met Jiang Qing He.
It was during the rare activity time after lunch. The children were gathered in a circle playing games on the grass, while Jiang Qi Huai was alone by the wall under a tree, watching ants.
The tiny insects formed a neat line, their thin legs carrying white objects bigger than their bodies, disappearing one by one under the tree.
Looking only about three or four years old, the little boy squatted quietly under the tree, hugging his knees with his head lowered, watching silently for a long time.
Until a shadow fell before him.
Little Jiang Qi Huai looked up.
The old man squatted beside him, smiling: “What are you watching?”
Little Jiang Qi Huai didn’t speak, silently raising his hand to point at the tree base.
Jiang Qing He looked over and said: “Those are ants. They’re carrying food.”
The chubby-faced little boy showed no expression, his beautiful eyes staring straight at him without blinking.
The old man smiled and explained: “Do you see those white things? That’s food. They’re taking it back home to eat so they won’t go hungry.”
Little Jiang Qi Huai lowered his head, staring intently for a while before saying in his baby voice: “Their food is bigger than their bodies.”
The old man nodded: “Yes, it’s impressive. They can carry things much heavier than themselves.”
Little Jiang Qi Huai fell silent again, curled up small under the tree, watching wordlessly.
Jiang Qing He didn’t speak either.
The old and young pair silently watched the ant colony march into their hole row by row, until the sun slanted and the last one disappeared.
Little Jiang Qi Huai stared at the tiny hole hidden in the soil for a long while before saying softly: “The ants went home.”
“Mm,” the old man responded, “the ants went home.”
The child fell silent again, staring fixedly at the small hole, undisguised longing in his eyes.
The old man looked at him, eyes crinkling: “Do you want to go home?”
“I don’t have one,” Little Jiang Qi Huai shook his head and said, “The director auntie says only children who are liked can have homes.”
He showed no sadness or grievance, but Jiang Qing He’s eyes turned red.
He raised his hand to stroke the boy’s soft hair: “Ah Huai is also a child who is liked.”
Little Jiang Qi Huai still shook his head, stubbornly saying slowly: “I don’t have that.”
“Then starting today, grandpa likes you, okay?” Jiang Qing He looked at him with moist eyes, his voice gentle. “Grandpa will take you home. Ah Huai will stay with grandpa forever.”
Jiang Qi Huai remembered that day – the sun was so bright it was hard to keep your eyes open, the green trees provided dense shade, and the grass was fluffy in large patches with tender green sprouts.
The old man’s palm was warm and broad, his scent pleasant and reassuring.
That was the first splash of color in his life.
Jiang Qi Huai opened his eyes.
The moonlight was thin, laying a layer of pale white gauze on the floor. The bedroom was silent as he stared at the ceiling, his gaze lingering.
Two books and a test paper were spread out on the desk by the bed. The wall clock ticked silently, making a soft “ka-da” sound as the hour and minute hands overlapped.
The phone screen on the desk lit up and began to vibrate, the buzzing sound particularly clear in the quiet environment, persistently demanding attention.
Jiang Qi Huai propped himself up to sit. He leaned against the headboard for a moment before reaching over to grab his phone and answer it.
“Your Highness!” The girl’s voice rang out immediately, urgent and eager, “What are you doing? I’ve been calling for so long.”
“Hmm? What’s wrong?” His voice was hoarse.
“Did you just wake up?” Tao Zhi asked in disbelief, “You actually went to sleep before midnight on New Year’s Eve?”
Jiang Qi Huai lifted his neck, head against the headboard: “Didn’t you say you don’t celebrate holidays?”
“That’s different,” Tao Zhi said, “Quick, get up and come to the window.”
Jiang Qi Huai paused, then threw back the covers and quickly got out of bed: “Are you downstairs?”
He bluntly exposed her little scheme, lacking any sense of romance. Tao Zhi was somewhat dissatisfied and said: “How can you have so little sense of romance? At this moment you should ask me why, pretending you can’t guess where I am.”
While she was speaking, Jiang Qi Huai had already walked to the window.
The night was deep and dark, making it hard to see people clearly, but he spotted her immediately.
The little girl wore a white down jacket, with a red scarf wrapped around almost half her face. She stood under the old street lamp of the residential building, jumping up and down in place while making “sss-ha” sounds from the cold.
She kept looking up until she saw the figure appear at the window. She pulled down her scarf a little, revealing her nose tip and small chin.
She looked at him indistinctly, her long eyes curving up. Through the window, she gave him a big smile, her voice coming cheerfully through the phone: “Happy New Year, boyfriend.”
Jiang Qi Huai didn’t speak.
Tao Zhi jumped up and down under the street lamp, breathing out white puffs: “Why aren’t you responding? I specially snuck out from home in this cold weather!”
She said dramatically: “And this is the cold treatment I get.”
Jiang Qi Huai slowly asked: “Why did you sneak out from home?”
“To wish you Happy New Year.”
“You could have said that on the phone.”
“That’s different,” Tao Zhi said matter-of-factly, “I want you to be the first person I see in the new year.”
Jiang Qi Huai’s fingers holding the phone curled slightly, his breath catching.
Tao Zhi continued imperiously: “And you must see me first too.”
The heating in the old residential building wasn’t very sufficient, and getting up suddenly from bed at night was still chilly. He hadn’t worn slippers when he went to the window, standing barefoot on the cold floor, but suddenly he couldn’t feel the cold.
Jiang Qi Huai laughed softly: “Is just looking enough?”
Tao Zhi stood downstairs, tilting her head, seemingly a bit confused.
Jiang Qi Huai’s throat went dry as he stared at the small figure under the street lamp, his voice hoarse: “Come up.”
Tao Zhi felt that Jiang Qi Huai had somewhat learned bad habits after spending time with her.
He even dared to do such improper things.
Inviting his girlfriend to his home after midnight!
She had some concerns initially, considering it was so late, Jiang Qi Huai had already gone to bed, and Grandpa Jiang was at home – it seemed a bit inappropriate.
But since she was already here…
The security door was opened from inside, and Jiang Qi Huai stood there wearing thin cotton pajamas, moving aside slightly.
Tao Zhi sneaked in quietly, then held the door handle and, moving very slowly, carefully closed the door.
Even though she had moved as slowly as almost an inch per second, when the door clicked shut, it still made a crisp “ka-da” sound.
Tao Zhi immediately froze, nervously licking her lips as she stood still, ears perked for any other sounds.
Jiang Qi Huai leaned against the shoe cabinet, looking down at her: “Why are you—”
She quickly raised her hand in a shushing gesture.
Jiang Qi Huai closed his mouth and pulled out a pair of slippers from the cabinet, placing them at her feet.
Tao Zhi stepped into the slippers, practically tiptoeing as she followed him into the bedroom.
Once the bedroom door closed, she finally let out a sigh of relief, her whole body relaxing.
Jiang Qi Huai walked to the desk and turned on the lamp.
As the bedroom lit up, Tao Zhi looked up.
The young man stood before her, clearly just awoken, his black hair messy, eyelids drooping drowsily, appearing softer and more vulnerable than usual.
He didn’t look very happy.
Tao Zhi couldn’t help but look at him a while longer.
Jiang Qi Huai noticed her gaze and looked up: “What is it?”
“Nothing.” She slowly unwound her scarf, folded it twice and laid it on the back of the chair, then continued taking off her coat.
Watching her unbutton her coat one by one, Jiang Qi Huai suddenly asked: “Want to eat strawberries?”
“…”
Tao Zhi had eaten dinner early and hadn’t had any snacks in the evening, so she was a bit hungry, but it was already midnight.
She waved her hand: “Where would you buy strawberries at this hour?”
Jiang Qi Huai opened the bedroom door again and walked out.
Though Tao Zhi was somewhat afraid of being discovered, she quickly took off her coat and put it with her scarf, then quietly followed him out.
He walked into the kitchen, turned on the light and opened the refrigerator, taking out a box of strawberries from the fresh-keeping compartment.
The plastic box was tightly wrapped with plastic wrap. Jiang Qi Huai unwrapped it and walked to the sink.
Tao Zhi closed the kitchen door behind him. The strawberries had probably been there for a few days – the dark green leaves were a bit wrinkled but hadn’t gone bad, and the fruits were plump and red.
Tao Zhi leaned her head closer: “Oh, you have some at home.”
“Mm,” Jiang Qi Huai turned on the tap, “Bought them a few days ago, forgot to eat them.”
Tao Zhi patted his arm: “Turn the water down, it’s too loud.”
Jiang Qi Huai turned his head: “Why are you acting like a thief even in my home?”
“What if we wake up Grandpa Jiang?” Tao Zhi mumbled quietly, “Coming to a boy’s house in the middle of the night – it would give Grandpa Jiang a bad impression of me.”
Seeing her worried expression, Jiang Qi Huai sighed: “It won’t be bad.”
He turned back, removing the leaves from the strawberries: “He likes you.”
“Of course I’m likeable,” Tao Zhi immediately cheered up, saying delightedly, “How could anyone not like me?”
Jiang Qi Huai didn’t speak, his eyelashes lowering as he rinsed the stemless strawberries under the water.
Indeed, there wouldn’t be anyone.
Tao Zhi was already used to eating at midnight, but Jiang Qi Huai wasn’t, so the whole box went to her.
The strawberries would go bad if kept longer anyway, so Tao Zhi didn’t stand on ceremony. She sat on the bed holding the box and ate almost half while watching Jiang Qi Huai do homework at the desk.
He hadn’t finished his homework – there was a half-completed test paper spread out on the desk. This model student whose life revolved solely around studying hadn’t finished his homework. Tao Zhi found this quite remarkable.
She felt a bit full and put the box on the desk, swinging her legs idly as she glanced at the photos on his wall.
There didn’t seem to be many new ones, just the same ones as before.
Had the artistic young man not captured any satisfactory secrets lately?
Now that they were in this kind of relationship, surely she should have a place on his photo wall.
Tao Zhi pouted, thinking that when she got home she would take a selfie with her instant camera, then next time she came she would secretly put her gorgeously beautiful face on his wall, right in the middle.
Perhaps because his state wasn’t quite right, Jiang Qi Huai took longer than usual with the problems. When he finished two test papers and checked the time, it was already past one-thirty.
Tao Zhi had fallen asleep on the desk.
The girl was lying sideways, half her face buried in the crook of her arm, her cheek pressed into the shadow against her arm, long eyelashes densely covering her lower eyelids as she slept peacefully.
Jiang Qi Huai closed the test paper, gently put down his pen, and sat in his chair turning his head to look at her.
Perhaps she was dreaming of something happy, as the corners of her lips were slightly upturned. The usually bouncing, chattering little girl was finally quiet in sleep, her peaceful sleeping face bathed in the desk lamp’s light, soft hair strands forming a circle of fine, soft fuzz in the light.
Loose strands of hair fell across her forehead, the tips brushing her upturned nose tip. Seeming to feel ticklish, she wrinkled her nose with her eyes closed.
Jiang Qi Huai raised his hand, gently hooking those strands of hair and tucking them behind her ear.
This movement woke Tao Zhi.
She opened her eyes drowsily, her mind probably still foggy, and just lay there for a while.
Jiang Qi Huai withdrew his hand: “Awake?”
Tao Zhi slowly straightened up, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand, asking in a sticky voice: “What time is it?”
“Past one.”
“I should go back,” she mumbled in a small voice, “why did it take you so long to do two test papers?”
Jiang Qi Huai slid his chair back: “It’s too late, I’ll take you home.”
This time Tao Zhi didn’t refuse. She sat on the bed stretching lazily, then gave a big yawn. Now fully awake, she stood up to get her coat that was hung on the chair back.
This was such a loss.
A midnight date sneaking into her boyfriend’s house on New Year’s Eve, only to accompany him finishing two test papers?
Who would believe that?
She put on her coat and picked up her scarf, wrapping it around in circles. The more she thought about it, the more she felt completely cheated.
After wrapping her scarf, Tao Zhi turned around. Jiang Qi Huai was still sitting in his chair without moving. Tao Zhi hesitated for a moment but still said: “If you’re tired, I can go back by myself. I’ll just take a taxi right to my door.”
“Not tired,” Jiang Qi Huai stood up and walked to the wardrobe to get his clothes, “Just had a nap earlier.”
“Your Highness.” Tao Zhi suddenly called out to him.
Jiang Qi Huai turned back.
The words she had been holding back since entering finally couldn’t be contained. Tao Zhi blinked, looking up at him: “Are you unhappy today?”
“Why would I be unhappy?”
“Just feels like…” Tao Zhi wrinkled her brow, not knowing how to describe that feeling. Saying it was unease or anxiety didn’t seem quite accurate.
She wracked her brains for a while but couldn’t think of appropriate words to describe it, finally saying dryly: “You seem a bit clingy.”
Jiang Qi Huai: “…”
He had thought he wasn’t affected, but now it seemed Jiang Qing He’s words tonight, and that person, had influenced him a little.
The young man stood silently by the wardrobe, looking at her with unreadable emotions. Tao Zhi suddenly regretted asking this question.
“It’s nothing, maybe I’m just confused from being sleepy,” she shook her head, tucking her chin into her scarf, then reached out her hand to him, “Want to hold hands, boyfriend?”
The little girl’s palm was open before him, the red scarf wrapped around half her face, exposing her white, tender ear tips, her dark eyes bright.
Jiang Qi Huai pressed his lips together as he looked at her, his gaze fixed for several seconds before saying: “Is just holding hands enough?”
Tao Zhi looked at him eagerly, nodding several times: “I’m very easily satisfied.”
“I’m not so easily satisfied,” he said in a low voice with ambiguous meaning.
Tao Zhi blinked, not yet understanding the meaning of these words.
Jiang Qi Huai stepped forward, suddenly raising his hand to grab both ends of her scarf and gently pulling toward himself. Caught off guard, Tao Zhi’s body tilted forward with his pull, crashing into his embrace.
Then, he hugged her.
The young man’s body heat came through the thin fabric, his clean scent surrounding her. Tao Zhi’s eyes widened as she stood motionless, letting him hold her.
Jiang Qi Huai’s arms wrapped tightly around her as he bent down, burying his head deeply in the crook of her neck, his voice muffled in the wool scarf: “Don’t try to brush me off so easily.”
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