ATLAS TRANSLATES

Tao Zhi felt like she couldn’t understand many of the things Jiang Qi Huai said.

Yet in her daze, she felt like she somehow understood something from it all.

The barbecue restaurant was lively and bustling, with the heater turned up high. Leaning against the wall in the warmth, amid the noise, Tao Zhi rested her head on the table with half-closed eyes, as if she had fallen asleep.

Jiang Qi Huai got up to pay the bill, draped her coat over her shoulders, and bent down slightly to say: “Zhi Zhi, let’s go home.”

Tao Zhi tilted her head, frowning and pouting: “Why does Zhi Zhi have to go home?”

“It’s too late, Zhi Zhi should go back and rest early,” he said patiently.

Tao Zhi glanced at him, unclear whether she understood or not. After a while, she slowly stood up, not putting on the coat that was draped over her, and walked straight out.

Jiang Qi Huai followed behind her, holding her scarf.

Tao Zhi walked straight ahead along the street, with Jiang Qi Huai following. After walking about ten meters, she suddenly turned her head and said haughtily: “I want to drink yogurt.”

Jiang Qi Huai lowered his head and suddenly smiled without reason.

Tao Zhi looked at him puzzledly: “What are you laughing at?”

“Nothing,” Jiang Qi Huai pointed to the convenience store across the street, “Want to go buy some?”

“Yes.” Tao Zhi’s eyes brightened, and she ran straight into the convenience store.

When Jiang Qi Huai entered, Tao Zhi was standing in front of the refrigerator. She already had five or six bottles of yogurt in her hands and was still looking up at another bottle in the fridge. She reached up to grab it but found both her hands were full.

So she hugged all the bottles she had just taken and reached out to grab more.

Just as her fingertips stretched out, a hand suddenly reached over from behind her, higher up, and took that bottle of yogurt before she could.

Tao Zhi turned her head.

Jiang Qi Huai placed that bottle on top of the armful of yogurt she was already holding. He looked at her struggling to hold all the yogurt bottles and said with some amusement: “Hold them tight, don’t drop them.”

Tao Zhi used her chin to hold the yogurt bottle caps and said unclearly: “Aren’t you 160cm tall? How could you reach it?”

This was something from such a long time ago.

Jiang Qi Huai looked at her, his lips relaxing: “When you’re drunk, can you string together everything that happened when you were drunk before?”

“It’s just that I have a good memory when I’m drunk,” Tao Zhi’s eyes were filled with a hazy drunkenness as she muttered in a small voice with frustration, “I should have had a bottle of beer before taking the college entrance exam.”

Jiang Qi Huai: “…”

When she finally finished choosing, she ran to the checkout counter hugging all the bottles, and Jiang Qi Huai paid.

She had picked more than ten bottles of yogurt. The cashier took a bag and packed them all one by one. Tao Zhi happily took the bag and walked out of the store: “Let’s go.”

Jiang Qi Huai followed behind her, watching her walk forward, guiding her back to the right direction whenever she walked crooked.

Tao Zhi was led by him like this all the way until they reached the car.

She stood at the passenger door for a while, looking at him: “Jiang Qi Huai, I want to drive.”

Jiang Qi Huai: “?”

He directly opened the car door: “You can drive tomorrow.”

Tao Zhi was unwilling, she said firmly: “I want to drive today.”

Jiang Qi Huai stuffed her into the car: “If you drive today, you can only drive to the police station.”

Tao Zhi reluctantly let herself be pushed into the passenger seat, and Jiang Qi Huai walked around the front of the car to get in.

She stared at him unblinkingly. Before Jiang Qi Huai could insert the car key he was holding, she suddenly moved.

She kicked off her high-heeled ankle boots, knelt on one knee on the passenger seat and leaned over, then crossed over the center console to directly straddle him.

She hooked her arms around his neck, her knees spread on either side of his legs, her thumb pad pressed against his sharp jawline as she looked down at him.

Their eyes met.

The next second, Tao Zhi suddenly lowered herself slightly. The girl’s soft chest pressed down, carrying warm body heat, with a faint smell of alcohol coming over. Her breathing brushed like feathers, intimate and lingering.

“A Huai,” she called him.

Jiang Qi Huai looked at her with dark eyes.

“I like you very much,” Tao Zhi said softly, “I always have.”

Jiang Qi Huai froze for a moment, then responded very quietly: “Mm, I know.”

Although he realized it rather late.

But fortunately, it wasn’t too late.

“So,” Tao Zhi looked at him, her dark eyes quiet, thin eyelids tinged red, even the corners of her eyes were red, whether from being drunk or some other reason, “don’t leave me again.”

Her voice was soft, her speech slow and slightly slurred: “Don’t leave me again, I’ll be sad.”

Like a wronged child who had been bullied and was terribly upset, she looked at him stubbornly and seriously, speaking word by word.

Jiang Qi Huai’s throat bobbed, and some emotion like the deep, heavy snow of this midwinter pressed down from all sides, crushing one with pain and depression.

He raised his hand, his palm landing on top of her head, gently rubbing her hair, then pulled her into his embrace: “I’m sorry.”

Tao Zhi lifted her head, tilting it to look at him: “Why are you apologizing?”

Jiang Qi Huai lowered his head slightly, kissing her hot eyelids, moving to her slightly cool eye corners: “For making my Zhi Zhi sad.”

Tao Zhi didn’t know which word pleased her, but her eyes curved up, her eyelashes fluttering against his lips, feeling a bit ticklish: “But your Zhi Zhi is a very forgiving Zhi Zhi.”

Jiang Qi Huai chuckled softly, obediently saying: “Mm, my Zhi Zhi is the most forgiving.”

“Though that’s what I say,” Tao Zhi changed her tone, “I can’t forgive you so easily.”

“…”

“You have to let me drive today for that to happen.”

Jiang Qi Huai: “…”

The little drunk was always very difficult to deal with after drinking. She looked not much different from usual and spoke coherently with clear thoughts, but would always make some strange and willful demands.

Even until the car arrived at their doorstep, Tao Zhi was still throwing a tantrum because Jiang Qi Huai wouldn’t let her drink and drive.

She had even compromised in the end, saying she was willing to just work the gas and brake pedals, letting Jiang Qi Huai handle the steering wheel, working together in perfect coordination on the road.

He still disagreed.

Tao Zhi squinted her eyes, watching as the car entered the underground parking garage, found a spot and turned off the engine, then Jiang Qi Huai turned toward her.

She quickly squeezed her eyes shut.

All around was silent, her tightly closed eyes letting in no light, even her senses were dulled under the effects of alcohol.

After a long while, Tao Zhi hadn’t heard any sound. She held on for a moment, but finally couldn’t resist anymore and opened her eyes a crack to look to the side.

Jiang Qi Huai was leaning back in his seat, his face cold and emotionless as he looked at her.

Caught in the act, Tao Zhi met his gaze for a few seconds, then casually tilted her head, leaning back in the passenger seat and closing her eyes again, continuing to pretend to be asleep.

As naturally as if nothing had happened.

Jiang Qi Huai suddenly laughed very softly.

Tao Zhi opened her eyes and looked at him dissatisfied: “What are you laughing at? I’m in the middle of throwing a tantrum, and not only do you not comfort me, you laugh.”

“Then how should I comfort you?” Jiang Qi Huai humbly asked for guidance.

“I have to teach you this too?” Tao Zhi pouted.

Jiang Qi Huai paused, seeming to think for a moment, then unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car, walking around to her side.

He opened the passenger door and stood beside it, stretching both arms toward her.

Tao Zhi looked at his actions and asked blankly: “What are you doing?”

“Comforting you,” Jiang Qi Huai tilted his head, lifting his chin slightly toward the elevator, “Carrying you up.”

Tao Zhi blinked, muttering: “It’s just this short distance, aren’t you being dramatic?”

“Do you want it or not?”

“I do,” she immediately sat up straight and unbuckled her seatbelt, raising her hands toward him with her head lifted and smiling, her voice sticky and sweet as she said, “Your Highness, carry me.”

The parking spots close to the elevator were usually private, and where Jiang Qi Huai had parked was a bit far, so it was still quite a walk to the elevator.

Although they had agreed he would carry her, after being picked up Tao Zhi felt a bit awkward, so in the end she had him give her a piggyback ride instead.

She rested her chin on his broad shoulder, arms around his neck, her shallow breaths falling on the exposed skin of his neck, creating a tingling sensation.

Tao Zhi’s fingers dangled at his chest, twining together: “Jiang Qi Huai.”

“Mm?”

“When I went to see my mom that day, I saw Grandfather Jiang.” Tao Zhi said.

Jiang Qi Huai’s steps paused briefly, then he continued walking forward.

“Was Grandfather sick?” she asked softly.

After drinking, she spoke more, always able to ask questions she couldn’t bring herself to ask when sober.

“An accident,” Jiang Qi Huai said, “Gas explosion.”

His voice was a bit hoarse.

Tao Zhi didn’t speak.

She had only seen such accidents in reports and news. A few years ago, there were several explosions and fires caused by gas leaks due to serious wear and tear of old gas pipes in old residential areas that hadn’t been replaced for years. Later the government took it seriously and conducted large-scale inspections to replace all of them, and she hadn’t heard such news in recent years.

Grandfather Jiang was such a good person.

Why do good people have to encounter so many bad things?

Tao Zhi suddenly felt sad. She swung her legs and said in a very low mood: “What about that annoying person?”

She didn’t specify who, but Jiang Qi Huai knew who she was asking about.

“Dead,” he said with downturned lips, emotionlessly, “Gas explosion.”

Tao Zhi froze.

She didn’t ask further, and Jiang Qi Huai didn’t say more. He carried her steadily forward, and when he pressed the elevator button, the cold sweat on Tao Zhi had almost soaked through his clothes.

She still remembered this news because in her freshman year during break, Fu Xi Ling was working as an intern at a newspaper office. Every day she would follow her supervising teacher around, and when she came back at night she would tell her about where they went and what incidents they encountered.

At the time Tao Zhi was completely absorbed in her newly bought pile of camera lenses, so she just listened casually without paying much attention.

But one gas leak explosion accident still left a bit of an impression on her. According to reports, fortunately all the neighbors above, below, left and right weren’t home that day, only the household where the accident occurred — father and son both died.

At the time Tao Zhi never connected this incident to Jiang Qi Huai.

And this accident may not have really been just an accident.

Her mind was in chaos, and in her daze she heard someone calling her. Tao Zhi suddenly came back to her senses and realized she was already at her front door. Jiang Qi Huai stood in front of the door lock, patiently looking at her: “Password.”

Tao Zhi bit her lip and recited a string of numbers.

Jiang Qi Huai unlocked the door and pushed it open. Fu Xi Ling was probably working overtime again tonight, as the apartment was completely dark with no one home.

Tao Zhi turned back to close the door and swung her legs.

Jiang Qi Huai set her down and turned to watch her turn on the hallway light.

The entry light was dim. Tao Zhi leaned against the door without going in, looking up at him with a hoarse voice: “Was it Grandfather Jiang?”

Jiang Qi Huai was backlit, his head lowered, his emotions unclear: “Probably.”

Tao Zhi’s eyes grew hot. She stepped forward half a step and raised her arms to hug him, burying her head in his chest.

One hand wrapped around his waist while the other very gently stroked his back: “It’s okay now.”

Her hands were soft and warm, her voice very light, gentle and slow: “Grandfather was old, and tired too, so he could only protect A Huai until then.”

She lifted her head to look at him in the darkness, her dark eyes bright and moist: “From now on it’s Zhi Zhi’s turn to take over,” she said as she withdrew her hand, rising on her tiptoes to touch his black short hair with her fingers, saying softly, “I will always, always stay by our A Huai’s side.”

Jiang Qi Huai looked at her, listening to her gentle words, feeling the strength transmitted through her fingertips.

When young, one is bold and passionate, and seems to always have a bit of a hero complex, feeling that things must be done perfectly, feeling that one must protect the whole world, must be the hero for their beloved girl.

Not knowing that actually no path can be perfect, that when making choices, one is already facing loss.

Also not understanding that no one can completely become someone else’s sky.

They all need to cut through thorns and brambles with each other’s support, being each other’s heroes.

Tao Zhi had already been busy all day, and after drinking at night she had tossed and turned between crying and acting up all evening, she must be very tired. By the time Jiang Qi Huai went to the kitchen to make some honey water, she had already fallen asleep on the bed.

Her clothes weren’t changed, makeup not removed, and she hadn’t showered.

The young girl had her face buried in the pillow with only half showing, her brows furrowed, mouth pouting, unknown what unhappy thing she was dreaming about.

Jiang Qi Huai placed the honey water on the bedside table and sat down on the carpet beside the bed.

He lowered his eyes to look at her, then raised his hand, his fingertips gently smoothing her knitted brows, then trailing over her upturned nose to land on her soft cheek.

The Jiang Qing He incident happened very suddenly.

After Tao Zhi’s incident, Jiang Zhi was arrested for intentional injury, and because he was a repeat offender, he was sentenced to several years.

When he was released again, Jiang Qi Huai was already in university.

The day Jiang Zhi was released, Jiang Qing He unusually went to pick him up.

He hid it from Jiang Qi Huai and brought Jiang Zhi home, made lots of good food, bought him new clothes, took him to bathe and get a haircut.

Whether Jiang Zhi had changed, Jiang Qi Huai didn’t know. He only learned later that Jiang Qing He had let him stay at home for a week.

One afternoon a week later, Jiang Qi Huai received a call from Jiang Qing He.

The old man’s voice wasn’t unusual, still unhurried and calm, with a smiling tone that made people imagine his eyes curve into crescents behind his glasses when they heard it.

During that time, Jiang Qi Huai was taking advantage of the holiday to work on a project with a senior from his department at a research institute out of town. There was too much to learn and he was busy every day. Jiang Qing He only spoke with him briefly, but just before hanging up suddenly asked: “A Huai, that WeChat you applied for me last time, how do you make video calls?” He said slowly, “Grandfather wants to see you.”

Jiang Qi Huai responded: “Alright, I’ll teach you when I get back to the hotel tonight.”

Grandfather Jiang kept saying okay, then paused and suddenly said: “Never mind… forget it, no need to see.”

He mumbled in a very low voice: “Grandfather wants to help you one last time, if I see you, Grandfather won’t be able to let go.”

At the time, Jiang Qi Huai didn’t have time to think carefully about what his words meant.

When he returned to the hotel that night, he called Jiang Qing He and sent him a video call, but Jiang Qing He didn’t answer either.

The next day, he received calls from the hospital and police station.

Jiang Qing He died on the spot. When the firefighters arrived, Jiang Zhi still had one breath left. He was sent to the hospital for emergency treatment but died a few hours later.

The police said that at the time, Jiang Zhi was protected under Jiang Qing He’s body, probably a parent’s instinctive conditioned reflex when their child faces danger.

At the time, Jiang Qi Huai stood under the pale hospital lights, looking at the death notice handed over by the doctor, still bewildered and not understanding what had happened.

They had just spoken on the phone the day before, with the old man excitedly telling him about how the old Zhou next door had a new granddaughter, white and chubby and very lovable, and enthusiastically asking him to teach him how to use WeChat video.

Why did everything change after just one night?

In the following days, he received calls from several neighbors. The day of the incident was a work day, so few people would have stayed at home, and Jiang Qing He had already used various reasons to get any neighbors who might have stayed home that day to leave, many days in advance.

Jiang Qi Huai remembered the old man’s last mumbled words to him.

He said, if I see you, Grandfather won’t be able to let go.

Jiang Qi Huai didn’t know if seeing him would really have made it hard for Jiang Qing He to let go.

He only knew that in the end, he still managed to let go.

Tao Zhi’s sleep was not peaceful.

At first she had many messy dreams, then she kept dreaming that a dog was continuously licking her face, from her eyebrows to her eyes, then to her nose bridge, and finally its wet nose tip pressed against her face.

Tao Zhi opened her eyes to see Jiang Qi Huai sitting on the floor beside the bed, his fingers resting on her face. His lips were tightly pressed together, his eyelashes lowered, his light eyes dark, seemingly endless.

When she moved, he seemed to suddenly wake up, turning his head almost bewilderedly, his gaze seeming unfocused as he looked at her blankly for several seconds before grasping reality.

“Awake?” his voice was hoarse.

Tao Zhi blinked at him: “How long did I sleep?”

Jiang Qi Huai looked at his watch: “Not long,” he handed her the honey water from the bedside table. The room’s heating was very strong so the water was still warm. “Drink some water first, then take a shower before going back to sleep.”

Tao Zhi didn’t move, lying on her side in bed looking at him.

Jiang Qi Huai didn’t rush her either, just patiently waited for her to come to her senses.

Tao Zhi propped her elbow on the pillow, supporting her chin as she raised her head, suddenly looking at him and saying: “Your Highness.”

This form of address had been sealed away for too long. Jiang Qi Huai paused: “Mm?”

“Nothing, I just feel,” Tao Zhi’s dark eyes curved up, her slightly upturned eye corners still carrying sleepy drowsiness. She looked at him and sighed contentedly and dependently, “Even though many years have passed, you’re still Zhi Zhi’s Jiang Qi Huai, this feeling is just so good.”

Jiang Qi Huai froze.

He lowered his eyes slightly and laughed, his originally sharp and cold features softened by the dim night light, appearing aloof yet gentle.

“I will always be Zhi Zhi’s Jiang Qi Huai.”