This kind of behavior, which appeared rarely in the eighteen years Lin Xiche had known Xu Fang, puzzled her. She couldn’t recall a time when Xu Fang had been so open about showing his vulnerability to her.
If she had to stretch her memory, there was perhaps one instance during their senior year of high school.
Back then, it was less than half a year before the college entrance exams. The school allowed senior students to go home for the Chinese New Year, and they only had a week of vacation. During that vacation, Lin Xiche didn’t waste her time on anything else. Every day after breakfast, she rode her bike to Xu Fang’s house, where she dragged him into studying together.
Xu Fang had good grades in the three core subjects of Chinese, Math, and English, but his scores in the science subjects had always been lacking. Lin Xiche was in a hurry, but he seemed carefree every day, not bothering about it at all.
Later, she felt that the half-hour journey from her grandfather’s house to Xu Fang’s house was a waste of time, so after thinking it over, she asked her parents if she could spend this vacation at home.
Before the year 206, both the Xu family and the Lin family hadn’t moved to the Lanbei Villa area yet; they lived in the same neighborhood in the same building.
Later, when Mr. Xu set his sights on a house in the Lanbei Villa area, he spent most of his savings to buy a unit. After three months, the owner of the house across from the Xu family decided to sell the house when they planned to settle abroad. Upon hearing this, Mr. Lin was torn but ultimately decided to sell their original house. With the money from the sale and their savings, they bought the house across from the Xu family.
Lin Xiche and Xu Fang became neighbors again.
The Lin family’s house had two floors, with four rooms on the second floor. Two of them were for Lin Xiche and Lin Xigeng, and Mrs. Lin kept one room vacant, expressly mentioning that it was for their older sister, Lin Deng.
A year after buying this house, in the year 207, Lin Deng was found and brought back.
Mr. Lin had specially hired someone to renovate that room. During the renovation period, Lin Deng stayed in the same room as Lin Xiche, and later, even Lin Xigeng moved in.
Three girls crowded onto one bed, huddled under the blankets, chatting away.
Lin Deng didn’t talk much because of her previous experiences, and she had a quiet and solitary nature. However, when she was with them, she seemed happy, listening with a smile to their lively chatter.
Afraid that Lin Deng felt like she couldn’t integrate into the family, everyone at home made an effort to treat her well. But contrary to expectations, it seemed to make her feel more like a guest.
As time passed, Lin Deng’s attitude at home didn’t become more natural, and she became increasingly on edge. Whenever someone spoke to her a little louder, she would immediately cry and beg not to be sent back.
Lin Xiche felt that it was because of the psychological trauma from her past experiences. She suggested taking her to see a psychologist, hoping that she could gradually forget the past and move on, and that her future could be filled with hope and positivity.
Both Mr. and Mrs. Lin agreed, and after some recommendations from friends, they were in the process of contacting a psychologist when Grandma heard about it through her daughter and came to Lin Xiche’s house in person.
Although Lin Xiche didn’t pay much attention to many things and was laid-back, she put a lot of thought into those she cared about. So, from a young age, she understood that Grandma didn’t like her.
Lin Xiche also knew that Grandma wasn’t showing favoritism toward male over female, as she liked Lin Xigeng very much.
Even if Lin Xigeng accidentally broke her cherished bracelet, she would console Lin Xigeng in a cheerful manner, saying that it was okay. But if Lin Xiche so much as accidentally touched her, she would be met with sarcastic remarks.
Lin Xiche didn’t know what she had done. She had tried hard to mend her image in her grandmother’s eyes, but after several attempts, she realized it was futile.
Whenever her grandmother came to their house, Lin Xiche would greet her and then retreat to her room to study. Her grandmother didn’t like her, and she was happy to have Lin Xiche stay out of her sight.
However, this time, as soon as her grandmother arrived, she pointed at Lin Deng and Lin Xiche, asking them to stay in the living room while Lin Xigeng was sent back to her room.
The spacious living room was now occupied only by the three of them.
On that day, Lin Xiche finally understood why her grandmother had always disliked her.
When Lin Deng was seven months old, Lin Xiche’s mother took her out to buy groceries. Due to a momentary lapse of attention, she lost her. They reported it to the police and put up missing person notices, but it was all in vain.
Because of this incident, Lin Xiche’s mother cried every day, and her mental state deteriorated. She stayed at home all day, not going anywhere.
Lin Xiche’s father, heartbroken and unsure of what to do, made a terrible decision.
He adopted Lin Xiche from an orphanage when she was just one year old.
Lin Xiche’s father wanted to minimize her mother’s guilt and pretend that they had found Lin Deng.
So, that’s why Lin Xiche was standing here today.
Ah, it was easy to understand now.
She had been adopted, brought back to replace Lin Deng.
Grandma was actually a good grandmother. She treated all the children equally, recognizing only the bond of blood, and nothing else mattered to her.
Lin Xiche felt the sensation was terrifying.
The moment of isolation and helplessness, the inability to think, and the atmosphere freezing to a breaking point.
She watched her grandmother hold Lin Deng and point at her with the other hand, softly saying, “Child, so you mustn’t ever feel redundant. Otherwise, it would be terribly unfair. You must know—”
“The person who is truly redundant has lived unashamedly for how many years.”
This sentence, Lin Xiche felt she would never forget it for the rest of her life.
After that, Lin Deng’s attitude toward Lin Xiche underwent a major change. Instead of gaining confidence in her position in the family because of Grandma’s words, she became more suspicious.
Lin Deng’s mental state deteriorated further, and she remained timid and self-deprecating in front of everyone else. However, whenever she saw Lin Xiche, she would start screaming and tell her to get out.
Several weeks later, Lin Xiche’s father and mother found out that Lin Xiche already knew she had been adopted. They had a serious conversation with her, emphasizing repeatedly that she was not a replacement for Lin Deng.
The Lin family had three daughters, and they said the same thing to all of them.
Lin Xiche knew very well that they loved her.
Before Lin Deng’s return, their care and love for her and Lin Xigeng were equal and identical. They never showed the slightest difference because she wasn’t their biological child.
But due to their responsibility, Lin Deng had experienced things she shouldn’t have. They wanted to make amends for their mistakes and, as a result, focused most of their attention on Lin Deng.
Lin Deng didn’t want Lin Xiche to be at home, to be as happy and carefree as she was now, and she didn’t want to see her appear before her.
She wanted Lin Xiche to live a life as agonizing and unbearable as her own.
Everyone had to compromise.
Lin Xiche constantly told herself that it was okay, repeating the words her parents had emphasized to her. In the end, she chose to yield, holding on to the sentence her grandmother had said to her.
During the year she stayed at her grandfather’s house, Lin Xiche rarely went home. Even if she often went to Xu Fang’s house to play, she rarely entered her own house, and the number of times she went in could be counted on one hand.
At that time, Lin Xiche was in her senior year of high school. She rarely made such a request, and her father and mother couldn’t refuse it.
Lin Xiche also didn’t want to meet Lin Deng, so she took the initiative to ask for a guest room on the first floor. She was out early and returned late every day, spending most of her time at Xu Fang’s house, and everything was peaceful.
But on the last day of the vacation, while she was at Xu Fang’s house, she suddenly got her period. She didn’t want to tell Xu Fang about it, so she sent a text message to her mother before returning home.
Lin Xiche came out of the bathroom and was about to go back to find Xu Fang when, to her surprise, Lin Deng came down the stairs, with her mother following closely behind, her eyes red, trying to stop her.
Lin Deng had problems with her legs, walking with a noticeable limp, and going down the stairs was particularly challenging. She hadn’t even reached Lin Xiche when her eyes widened, and she cried out while climbing the stairs, “I knew it! I knew—you must still be here!”
Lin Xiche’s breath caught, not wanting to listen to her, and she quickened her pace to leave.
“Lin Xiche!” Lin Deng screamed, her voice hoarse and trembling, “You remember this, you’re redundant, you were adopted! If it weren’t for my parents, you wouldn’t even know where you are—”
Lin Xiche didn’t let herself hear the rest of her words; she closed the front door.
She had heard Lin Deng say such things countless times, so she didn’t have a strong emotional reaction this time. After standing there for half a minute, she re-entered Xu Fang’s house.
When Lin Xiche returned to Xu Fang’s room, she didn’t see him there.
She didn’t think too much of it, sat back at the desk, picked up her pen, and continued working on her test paper.
Not long after, Xu Fang returned as well. His complexion didn’t look good, with water dripping from his chin, and his hair was damp, as if he had just washed his face.
Lin Xiche blinked and asked, “Are you tired?”
Xu Fang didn’t say anything, sitting down beside her and using a few tissues to wipe the water off his face. Then, he remained silent, picking up his pen and continuing to work on the test paper.
Lin Xiche tilted her head and glanced at his expression, whispering, “Hey, if you’re tired, you can take a nap. I’m not so mean that I won’t let you take a nap…”
Before she could finish her sentence, Xu Fang interrupted her, softly saying, “Let’s make a bet.”
“Huh?”
“Let’s bet on next semester, the entire semester’s living expenses.”
“Such a big bet?”
“Yeah.”
“What are we betting on?”
“Anything, arm wrestling.”
Lin Xiche fell silent for a few seconds. “Do you think I’m a fool?”
In the end, Lin Xiche compromised under his insistence, and surprisingly, she easily defeated him with one hand. She was shocked by how easily she had beaten Xu Fang. She couldn’t remember the last time she had won against him.
Lin Xiche blurted out, “Wow, are you really that bad?”
“Yeah.”
At that time, she had expected Xu Fang to retort, but he just made a soft “yeah” and then continued to pick up his pen and work on the test paper. Lin Xiche found it strange. Even if she deliberately tried to provoke him, he would just remain silent for a while and then show his weakness, as if he had done something wrong to her.
Although it felt good in a way, it also seemed like a precursor to a storm.
Very scary.
Time passed unnoticed, and it was now October 24th.
Perhaps because Lin Xigeng had told her parents that her living expenses weren’t enough after returning to S University, Lin Xiche’s mother sent her 2,000 yuan. Lin Xiche used this money to buy a pair of sports shoes for Xu Fang. On the evening of his birthday, she carried a cake and a gift, intending to deliver it to his dormitory in person.
Lin Xiche had checked Xu Fang’s class schedule in advance to make sure he didn’t have any classes during this time. She had also asked casually and confirmed that he would be in his dorm during this period.
S University didn’t restrict students from entering the opposite gender’s dorms, usually just requiring them to inform the dormitory manager and sign in. Lin Xiche had visited Xu Fang’s dorm multiple times before, so this time, she didn’t even need to sign in. She just told the dorm manager and entered the dormitory building.
Lin Xiche went to the third floor, stood in front of Xu Fang’s dormitory door, and knocked three times.
No one opened the door.
She knocked three more times.
Still, no response.
Lin Xiche realized that the dormitory door wasn’t properly closed; it was slightly ajar. She pushed it gently inward and called out softly, “Xu Fang.”
There was no response, and it didn’t sound like anyone was inside.
“I’m turning on the light…”
Lin Xiche hesitated for a moment, then pressed the switch next to the door. The room suddenly lit up. She glanced around and saw that only Xu Fang’s bed had someone on it.
At that moment, Xu Fang was sleeping with his eyes closed, lying down, his hair cascading softly. Perhaps due to the sudden light, his brows furrowed, and he looked displeased.
Lin Xiche examined the room more carefully and indeed couldn’t see anyone else. She closed the door quietly, placed her things on Xu Fang’s desk, and then crouched down next to him.
When Lin Xiche turned on the light, Xu Fang gradually regained consciousness. He heard the sound of her placing things down and also heard her approaching and crouching in front of him.
As Xu Fang was about to open his eyes, he suddenly felt a cold and soft touch on his face.
It seemed like her fingers, touching his face.
Confirming this, Xu Fang suddenly didn’t want to open his eyes. He was curious about what Lin Xiche would do next, so he lazily kept his eyes closed, waiting for her next move.
After half a minute, Lin Xiche stood up.
Unsure of what she was going to do, Xu Fang discreetly opened his eyes, only to see her returning to her previous position at his desk. Noticing that she was about to turn around again, he immediately closed his eyes once more.
After a while, she walked over and, just like before, crouched in front of him.
Then, Xu Fang smelled the scent of a marker.
“…”
Following that was Lin Xiche’s process of doodling and coloring on his face.
The cold and itchy sensation on his face gradually transformed Xu Fang’s mood from disappointment to anger. He suppressed his temper and kept telling himself inwardly: You like her, she’s the one you like. You need to be good to her, remember to be gentle, be gentle. Just endure it.
Because of this self-reminding, he didn’t immediately open his eyes and scold her when he realized what she was doing.
“Oh my god, why did I mess it up like this?” Lin Xiche stared at his face and muttered to herself, “He’s definitely going to kill me when he wakes up…”
Then, as Xu Fang had expected, he heard Lin Xiche hurriedly leaving.
After hearing the sound of the door closing, Xu Fang slowly opened his eyes, got up, and checked himself in the mirror. He then walked to the sink and started washing his face.
One minute passed, no color came off.
Two minutes, still no change.
After three minutes, Xu Fang stared at the three distinct marks on his cheeks, remnants of her doodles. He threw the towel aside, took a deep breath, regulated his emotions for three seconds, and then his anger reached its peak.
He opened the balcony door, walked outside with a stern expression, and muttered to himself.
“Darn it.”
If he didn’t stand up for himself today, he’d be an idiot.
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