The two days before the Golden Dragon Awards ceremony, the two outfits custom-made for me by Wan Qing had arrived. One of them was a floor-length Mediterranean-style dress in snow white, looking quite simple and elegant. When she handed me the jewelry box, she was very careful. I opened it and saw a set of pink diamond jewelry inside, with excellent quality and luster, naturally also of great value. For this, Wan Qing even looked at me meaningfully and said, “This was specially instructed by the boss.” I nodded, noncommittal.
The other was a sapphire blue mermaid gown with a train. The chest part of the dress had three layers of upright large lotus leaf edges, embroidered in the shape of peacock feathers. I looked at the back of the dress – it was backless! However, I could still accept occasionally showing a bit of back…
When walking the red carpet at the Golden Dragon Awards, the organizers originally wanted me to walk alone with Dingyue, but I declined. So in the end, it was decided that the entire cast of “Regretful Love” would walk together. At noon that day, our entire crew made an appointment to have a meal together before the award ceremony.
But at this time, Fu Junyan still hadn’t come. Fang Dingyue also rarely asked John in surprise, “Is Fu Junyan not participating?”
Director John shook his head, indicating he didn’t know. My heart sank, feeling a bit desolate. Taking advantage of the bathroom break, I called Fu Junyan, but his phone was still switched off. I couldn’t help but feel annoyed. Jay’s condition wasn’t very good either. Xu Mei had been entangled with him all the way, and he seemed to be afraid of involving me again. Every time he wanted to talk to me, he would be sure to bring Fang Dingyue along.
Fang Dingyue later said to me in front of Jay, “I said long ago that Xu-something wasn’t pure and kind.”
Seeing Dingyue, I also couldn’t say much. I just turned my eyes and saw Jay standing aside with a bleak expression. Out of collegiality, I went up to comfort him, saying, “Everything will pass.” Although in this second life, I didn’t know how things would develop.
My cousin called me the night before the awards ceremony. He said, “Baby sister, tomorrow I’m going to be a presenter. Will you accompany your brother? Shall we meet?”
“You’re my big boss, I still depend on you for food! Meet, meet, of course meet!” I laughed.
“You’re just coaxing me like this. In this life, I, Mo Nuoyun, am just working for you.”
“Hehe, cousin, what are you saying…” This guy started being tsundere again…
When walking the red carpet, Fu Junyan didn’t come. Fang Dingyue and I were interviewed together. The red carpet host was the famous Coco in the industry. Her hosting was also known for being sharp-tongued. Coco opened her mouth and asked, “Fang Dingyue, do you think Xiao’ai looks stunningly beautiful today?”
Fang Dingyue actually turned his head to look at me and shook his head seriously, “Didn’t notice.” The whole audience was shocked. He said again, this time with a sincere and moving expression, even affectionate, “Xiao’ai is always very beautiful…” Dingyue, you really don’t need to work yourself to death like this to hype up the new drama, and drag me into it in the process…
The corner of my eye twitched as I stood aside maintaining a smile.
“Both of you have two nominations today. Have you thought about how to celebrate if you win an award later?”
“This is nothing to worry about. Director John is a very good person. Whether we win or not, our crew will have a celebration party. Moreover, for us newcomers, being nominated is already very fortunate.” I turned my head to smile at Dingyue and opened my mouth to answer. Coco, did you think I wouldn’t know you wanted to ask what the two of us would do in private? What can we do in private? Really!
“You two are the silver screen couple that everyone loves very much. When the finale of “Regretful Love” aired, we were all very sad! Many people hope you can really be together. Have you two considered trying to date in real life to make up for everyone’s regret?”
When Coco said this, the fans went wild. They started shouting, “Date! Date!”
I was helpless. Fang Dingyue nodded and said, “We’ll give everyone a surprise soon.” Coco exclaimed when she heard this, and there was an uproar among the fans. What was this? At this moment, I deeply felt that as a public figure, speaking is also an art…
When arranging seats, the organizers didn’t separate the male and female artists, but arranged for each crew to sit together. When I changed into my outfit and entered the venue, I found my seat following the nameplate number. Fang Dingyue was sitting to my left, and Jay was sitting in front of me. When he saw me coming, he turned his head and nodded at me. And on the right side of my seat, Fu Junyan’s name was actually there, but it was empty. I looked at it and my eyes unconsciously dimmed.
Fans also gradually entered the venue. In the blink of an eye, the second floor platform was full of cheering. I looked at Fu Junyan’s extra-large poster hanging in the center, wishing I could take a bite out of it! Liar! Big bad guy! He said he would attend the awards ceremony with me, but now there wasn’t even a shadow of him. But in my heart, I thought he must have been delayed by something. He had always been trustworthy and sincere. But I still felt a bit unhappy, as if something was missing.
Thinking and thinking, I couldn’t help puffing out my cheeks. Jay happened to turn his head to talk to Fang Dingyue at this time. When he saw my expression, he turned his face and laughed. I realized something was wrong and hurriedly retracted my steamed bun face.
Jay said, “Xiao’ai, are you acting cute?”
“Dressed up like this as a goddess, acting cute?” Fang Dingyue also suddenly chimed in while staring at me, then said thoughtfully, “Alike!”
“Ah! What?”
“Nothing.”
The crew with the most cheering in the venue was “Regretful Love”. As long as I turned my head, the fans on the second floor would start screaming. Perhaps because my eyes were azure blue, perhaps because my first TV series and first advertisement both involved the sea, perhaps because fans knew I liked ocean-scented aromatherapy. So, my fans were called Sea Treasures. They held up azure blue balloons symbolizing Sea Treasure. When they saw me make any movement, they would shout in unison, “Number one in the world, Gu Baobei!”
But this slogan was too domineering! Fang Dingyue and Jay also turned their heads to look at the blue formation on the second floor. Then Jay laughed softly, turned his head and said to me, “Tell your fans to change the slogan. No matter how you hear it, it sounds like ‘Number one in the world, Dongfang Bubai!’” I touched my nose and glared at him, conflicted.
The lights in the venue turned dark in an instant, and the lights on the stage also went out. Then the whole venue fell silent. A melodious and solemn voice sounded, “The 26th Golden Dragon Awards ceremony officially begins.” With that, the lights on the stage lit up again. I watched the hosts Da Zui and Coco slowly walk onto the stage after changing outfits.
In a daze, the fans in the entire venue suddenly started roaring. Their enthusiasm instantly surged up like a heat wave. I was surprised in my heart. These two hosts were so popular? But not until I felt a slight movement beside me did I turn my head. The moment I raised my eyes, I saw a pair of deep eyes. He looked at me gently and said, “Xiao’ai, I’m here.”
Although Fu Junyan didn’t walk the red carpet, he came. He rushed over at this time. The fans in the whole venue were also shouting because of his arrival.
I was dumbfounded for a long time, unable to come back to my senses. In my mind, his words kept echoing as if whispering, “Xiao’ai, I’m here…Xiao’ai, I’m here…” After a long time, I said to him softly, as if angry, “Fu Junyan, you’d better be here! Look at your fans, they came the most and cheered the loudest. If you don’t come, you’ll really let down that sea of white!” Fu Junyan’s fans were called Princesses, and the name of the fan group was also domineering, called Prince Mountain. And their symbol color was white. Prince Junyan, naturally, should have the purest and cleanest color in the world.
At this moment, Fang Dingyue stretched out a hand from in front of me. He said, “Junyan, long time no see.” I leaned back slightly and watched their clasped hands.
When the nominees for Best New Actor were announced, the “Regretful Love” crew took up three seats. Although Jay debuted the earliest, he had always been filming big-screen movies. TV series were his first attempt, so he was also a newcomer. But as soon as the big screen finished showing the list of nominees, I was directly shot.
Coco came down from the stage and asked me, “Xiao’ai, your crew has three Best New Actor nominees, who do you think will win the award?”
I clearly remembered that in my previous life, the winner of this Best New Actor award was Jay. But how could I say that? Moreover, everything was no longer the same as before. The development of things had been full of variables since Fu Junyan appeared. I looked at this one and that one in embarrassment, and could only give Coco a faint smile, pretending to be profound…
At this time, Da Zui interjected on the stage, “Coco, it’s not good to ask like this.” I just breathed a sigh of relief, but heard him say, “Xiao’ai, who do you hope will win the Best New Actor award?”
My face flushed red, stumped! At this time, Jay actually raised his hand and made a gun-shot gesture at me. Fang Dingyue also looked at me with a mischievous smile. Fu Junyan slightly turned his face, just looking at me gently and mildly. Alright, in the end I took a deep breath and said, “Myself.”
“Xiao’ai oh! I’m asking you about the Best New Actor award for males oh! You’re a girl, you can’t oh!” Coco raised her eyebrows and started joking, causing laughter all around. After a while, she patted my shoulder and said, “Xiao’ai, I have high hopes for you oh. This girl is so frank, telling us her fervent ambition to win an award so bluntly.” I was sweating, extremely embarrassed…
Then the blue formation behind me on the second floor started shouting again, “Number one in the world, Gu Baobei!” Instantly, I wanted to cry but had no tears. I thought, my dear Sea Treasures, we can’t be so overbearing!
The winner of the Best New Actor award was Fu Junyan. He went on stage to receive the award, neatly and concisely saying just two words, “Thank you.” Then with a refined smile, he set off an explosion in the whole venue. Even the sharp-tongued Coco didn’t give him a hard time, but just watched in a daze as he walked off the stage with grace.
Afterwards, she slapped her forehead and exclaimed in a dull manner, “Prince Junyan is really peerless in the world.” Even while saying this, Coco’s eyes were still a bit straight. To be honest, Fu Junyan’s faint smile was indeed enchanting. At that time, the whole venue was silent for a few seconds, just because of his instant of magnificent charm.
I thought of Coco’s relentless questioning of me just now, but now she was in a daze, silently defeated by Fu Junyan. I felt a bit awkward, but also wanted to laugh. Then I secretly glanced at the man who had won the award but still sat beside me with a calm and undisturbed face. I stretched out my finger, pointed at the trophy, then pointed at myself.
However, Fu Junyan smiled at me imperceptibly and shook his head. I pouted and muttered, “Stingy.” Then I ignored him.
Jay had a bit of disappointment on his face for losing the award. Fang Dingyue didn’t show much reaction. I secretly nudged him with my wrist and said, “Dingyue, Best Actor oh!” His face was cold, but there was a hint of a smile in his eyes.
When I went on stage to receive the Best New Actress award, Coco teased, “Xiao’ai, how does it feel to have your wish come true?” I thought of how Fu Junyan had subdued her with just a smile. I also learned to slightly turn my head and hook my lips in a smile at Coco, then I said, “Thank you!” Then I bowed to the audience, and actually walked off the stage smoothly.
As soon as I returned to my seat, Fang Dingyue gave me a little thumbs up and glanced at Fu Junyan, saying, “Xiao’ai, you learn fast.”
Then Coco on the stage began to shout belatedly, “Did everyone see that? Did you see? I’m a woman and she made me forget to breathe. Director John, your eye for selecting actors is really first-class!” Hearing this, John stroked his big beard, looked back at me, and smiled as if it was a matter of course.
But then Coco pointed at me on the stage and said, “Xiao’ai, you have another nomination oh! If you go on stage again, your sister won’t let you off oh.” Hearing this, I calmly raised my eyebrows. Coco, don’t worry, I won’t be going on stage. I won’t be getting the Best Actress award.
For Best Supporting Actor, Jay once again encountered Fu Junyan. Unsurprisingly, Fu Junyan won again. Although in my previous life, Jay was still the winner of this award, Fu Junyan’s arrival really changed everything.
This time, after Fu Junyan went on stage and said thank you, he didn’t directly turn around and come down. Instead, he took the trophy and looked in this direction, saying, “I want to give this award to the person who loves me.”
And I looked at his handsome and exquisite features from so far away in the audience, and suddenly felt a warmth in my heart. I knew he meant he wanted to give that award to me. But he said the person who loves him, he said I love him. I don’t know why, but I didn’t want to deny it either. Just like how he taught An’an to call him brother-in-law, I didn’t have the slightest strength to deny it, to refuse…
When Fang Dingyue won Best Actor and went on stage, he looked at me in surprise. I stood up and gave him a big hug, whispering in his ear, “Dingyue, I was right, wasn’t I?”
Sitting back in my seat, I began to turn my head and chatter to Fu Junyan. In my previous life, the winner of Best Actress was my nemesis Ji Jie’er. So I knew there would be no more scenes for me in the subsequent awards. I just showed my face among the nominees.
But thinking like this, I became even more bored. I simply turned to Fu Junyan and started telling him about An’an in a low voice. For example, the little meatball An’an still insisted that the milk I made wasn’t as good as the milk he made. For example, how naughty An’an was when taking a bath. I said, “Fu Junyan, obviously we use the same method! Why is An’an so biased? And he’s not afraid of me at all oh! Every day he climbs up and down on me. But whatever you say, he’s obedient. Why? Why?” Fu Junyan always listened attentively to my complaints with a smile, head tilted. But he suddenly reached out and gently pushed me, then said, “Xiao’ai, it’s you.”
“Ah?” I looked at him blankly, at his warm eyes. Me? What about me?
He smiled helplessly, lightly patted my head and pointed to the stage.
At this time, the big screen in the center of the stage was playing clips from “Regretful Love”, all of my face. Crying, happy, innocent, silent ‘Gu Xinyao’.
I looked back at Fu Junyan in disbelief, pointed at myself and said, “Me?”
He nodded, sighed helplessly again, then said with a smile, “Silly pufferfish.” He pulled me up from my seat, hugged me, patted my back and said, “Go, I will quietly watch you.”
I slowly walked towards the stage, listening to the judges’ comments echoing in my ears one by one: “Gu Baobei, in the drama she single-handedly carried the show, her performance was vivid, natural, without a trace of artifice. Her acting was lively, sincere, touching, endearing, and warm enough to make people cry. It was as if she was in that story, she was Gu Xinyao.” I was indeed in that story, I was that child left in this world, the only one that God took pity on in that unfortunate love…
I accepted the trophy with teary eyes, looking at the audience for a long time before finally opening my mouth: “I never thought I would win this award…” As I said this, I finally couldn’t hold back anymore and started crying out loud, covering my mouth. I knew crying like this was embarrassing, but no one knew how much I wanted to play this role well. No one knew, when I finally learned in this life that this was my mother’s story, how much I regretted not portraying her even better. Even less would anyone know, if it wasn’t for the mercy of heaven, how could I possibly be standing here? How could I possibly be the way I am now?
I couldn’t help but cry, tears streaming down my face. I said, “I want to thank fate, thank the generous treatment of heaven for allowing me to stand here, to meet all of you. I used to spend whole nights unable to fall asleep, afraid that I wasn’t doing well enough. I loved this role too much, loved Gu Xinyao too much.” I finally held back my tears a bit, before continuing, “Thank you, thank you! Also my father who raised me on his own. Dad, I love you so much, I will give you all the love that Mom didn’t have time to give you, I will work hard.”
Coco actually only patted my back and sent me back to my seat, not giving me a hard time as she said she would in the beginning. Long after, when we met again, she complained to me: “At that time, seeing a little beauty cry until she was a teary mess, how could I bear to do anything?”
After the celebration party, as promised, I went to see my cousin. He walked over to hug me and said, “My dad said, you portrayed Auntie very well, many times he mistook you for Auntie really coming back.”
Hearing this, I hugged him and cried loudly once again.
When I got home, I saw Fu Junyan sitting lost in thought in the living room. He only turned on a small lamp, the dim light illuminating his long eyelashes, beautiful and pure.
Hearing the sound, he slightly raised his head, looked at me and smiled. He suddenly stretched out both arms in a hugging posture, waiting for me. And I ran over and crashed into his arms. Then I sniffed with my nose and grabbed his sleeve, asking, “Why do you smell of alcohol?”
Hearing this, he also leaned in to sniff me, then said, “Really full of alcohol smell.” I only realized belatedly that the one reeking of alcohol was actually myself.
Thinking that Fu Junyan was a clean freak, I propped myself up to back away. But he didn’t mind, only pulled me to lie on his lap. I closed my eyes, put my arms around his waist, and felt him stroke my hair again and again, gentle and merciful. And my heart was eager, so eager to tell him something, so eager to find an outlet for myself. Finally, I said, “Fu Junyan, they all know the story of “Regretful Love” is based on a true story. But no one knows, not even director John knows, that Gu Xinyao is not someone else, she is my mother…”
“Is that so?” But he was not surprised, only sighed lightly and bent down to hug me. His warm hand caressed my eyes, the depths of his eyes showing no surprise or ripples, only full of compassion and clarity. Then he asked, his voice kind and pleasant, “Does the silly pufferfish miss her mother?”
I nodded, and tears fell with it, bit by bit flowing down my face through the gaps of his fingers. I said, “I never knew, what was mother actually like? What was mother’s scent like? I walked through mountains and rivers, but this question could never be answered.”
“But…” I placed my hand over Fu Junyan’s hand, that warm breath blocking my eyes. I said, “But today cousin told me, uncle said that many times watching my performance, he felt that my mother had really come back. Fu Junyan, you don’t know how happy and sad I was because of that praise. Eighteen years later, Gu Xinyao’s daughter Gu Baobei actually ended up inadvertently acting out her story, her tragic yet beautiful love story, in front of the world.”
“I don’t know,” Fu Junyan shook his head, wiping the tears from my face with his fingertips bit by bit. Then he said, “Many things, in one’s lifetime, can never be empathized with. But I understand you…” Then, he kissed my hair with incomparable reverence and said, “But I know, you were really amazing. She would definitely be proud of you.”
“Really?”
“She would…”
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