ATLAS TRANSLATES

Later, I curled up on the sofa watching TV and fell asleep. The next day when I woke up, I was still in Fu Junyan’s room, sleeping in his bed, while his tall frame was pitifully curled up on the sofa with his feet tucked in. I sniffled and suddenly felt like I was born to torment him…

The ratings for the premiere came out. Our ratings couldn’t compete with “Heavenly White Feathers”, but the online support for the two TV series was neck and neck. Our director was very composed. After seeing the results, he patiently called a few of us lead actors over and told me not to be discouraged. He said the premiere featured the childhood stories acted by the young actors, so it was understandable that the ratings couldn’t beat “Heavenly White Feathers”. We didn’t need to worry too much. The real competition for ratings would start when we appeared on screen. These words made me, who originally didn’t feel much pressure, feel a lot of pressure. Because the director’s meaning seemed to be that if we still couldn’t beat them after we appeared, it would be unforgivable, right? The director was so sinister! This wasn’t encouragement, this was applying pressure…

Fu Junyan’s acting naturally received widespread praise. Apple Daily had an article dedicated to him, titled: “Popular Superstar Fu Junyan, This Aloof Yet Gentle Jade-like Man”. And there was another report right next to his article, titled: “Pufferfish Princess Gu Baobei Transforms into Mysterious Cinderella, Still Pining for Fang Dingyue in New Drama.” At that time, I gave Dingyue a very aggrieved look. Pining! Based on what?

The relationships between the actors in our crew were all quite good, and the overall work environment was very relaxed and harmonious. One day during a break, Sister Ruofan walked over to me holding a Polaroid camera, saying she had curiously borrowed it from her little nephew, and called everyone to take photos. Later, seeing photo after photo pop out from the camera, we all had a lot of fun.

It was just that Fang Dingyue wasn’t very cooperative. He refused to turn his head back for a photo no matter what. This kind of resolute refusal to give any consideration directly angered Sister Ruofan and Shuang. I only heard the two of them huddled together mumbling for a long time before high-fiving each other with a smile. I stood behind them feeling like something fishy was going on, but after observing for a while, I didn’t see them make any moves. In my heart, I suddenly felt I had overestimated them. The ice mountain man was invincible!

After a while, Sister Ruofan suddenly walked over and secretly pulled me aside, saying, “Xiao’ai, Shuang and I made a bet. Whoever takes a front-facing photo of Fang Dingyue first treats the other to lamb skewers! The big, fragrant, and spicy kind!” I laughed when I heard this, “Really?”

“Of course it’s real!”

I had been suffering from severe internal heat¹ recently, so Fu Junyan was also keeping a close eye on me. These past few days, my diet had been very light. He wouldn’t let me touch any slightly unsuitable food. But the more I had internal heat, the more I craved those spicy and stimulating foods. However, I didn’t have the guts to secretly sneak out and eat indiscriminately. But what if the crew treated us? I chuckled inwardly…

“This is too easy.” I made an “OK” gesture with my hand and conveniently took the Polaroid camera from Sister Ruofan’s hand. Taking a few steps forward, I tilted my head and called out, “Dingyue!” Sure enough, Fang Dingyue turned his head at the sound. I quickly seized the moment and pressed the shutter with a grin.

I took out the freshly printed photo from the camera and looked at it. Facing Dingyue’s surprised expression, I smiled and waved the photo in my hand, saying, “Dingyue, one glance back and a hundred charms bloom!”

I was feeling proud of myself when suddenly I heard a click behind me. It turned out Shuang had used the camera to snap a photo. Then she very cockily blew at her bangs and said, “Ruofan, didn’t we bet on who could take a photo of Gu Baobei and Fang Dingyue together first?”

“You didn’t say it had to be them in the same photo. I was planning to take a photo of Xiao’ai later to make up for it!” Sister Ruofan muttered a bit dejectedly.

“Treat us then!” Shuang waved the camera and winked at me with a smile. Seeing the look of regret on Sister Ruofan’s face, I glanced at Fang Dingyue and couldn’t help but sigh, “The mantis stalks the cicada, unaware of the oriole behind…”²

At this moment, Fang Dingyue also walked over and snatched the photo I was still holding. He lightly tapped my forehead and said, “Silly.” I gave an aggrieved look at the two who had schemed against me and lifted my chin with a very stifled “hmph”.

One day, Sister Ruofan pulled me aside and asked, “Xiao’ai, how come you never bring your Gu Xiao’an to the set? I heard you brought your little darling with you every day when filming ‘Regretful Love’. How come when it’s our crew’s turn, you show us so little regard and won’t even bring your little precious for us to see? We’d all very much welcome him, you know!”

I nodded and thanked her, only saying I would definitely bring An’an if there was a chance. Saying this, I actually started missing the little guy a lot in my heart. Of course, there was also Dad and Xiao Qi. Xiao Qi wouldn’t really start howling opera songs after returning, right?

That day, I brought my laptop to the set. When it wasn’t my turn to film, I would hug my laptop and lurk on the internet. Later, Shuang walked over, pointed at me and said, “Gu Baobei, scoot over a bit. Oh, and lend me your laptop while you’re at it.”

I nodded, moved my seat and handed her the laptop. She used it to log into her official website, then opened Weibo. She said, “Gu Baobei, follow me.”

Her tone was heroic and bold. I wrinkled my nose and obediently did as told.

Later, we followed each other like this. I glanced at the screen. Shuang only followed three people, even fewer than me. She was truly neck and neck with Fu Junyan.

She also unabashedly played around on my Weibo. When she saw my followed accounts, she paused for a moment before turning her head to ask me, “Fu Junyan follows you?”

I nodded and asked, “What about it?”

She looked me up and down with a very lewd gaze, then opened a webpage. Suddenly, she burst out laughing, heavily patting my back and said, “Gu Baobei, I see your browsing history has my official website! How about it? Smitten with me?”

I was speechless. I gave her a look of severe disdain and awkwardly turned my head away. Shuang gave me a mischievous look and grinned slyly. Grinning, she picked up the camera and took advantage of my inattention to snap another photo of me.

From the first day I joined the crew, I discovered that Shuang carried a DSLR camera with her every day, completely giving off the vibe of a photography enthusiast. Dingyue had once said with deep loathing that Shuang was simply an invisible paparazzi who could pick up her camera and stealthily strike at any time. I remember at that time, I patted his shoulder and said, “Dingyue, it’s this face of ours that sells. Bear with it!” But now, I deeply regretted my answer back then! Because the person Shuang photographed the most wasn’t anyone else, but precisely me!

Before long, I watched helplessly as she nimbly uploaded that photo to the computer and posted it on her Weibo with lightning speed. She even added a note below: “These past few days during breaks from filming, Gu Baobei would hug her laptop and curl up in a corner, making people really want to poke her face.”

I was conflicted. Facing my glaringly obvious side profile in the photo, I finally powerlessly took back the laptop. After thinking for a long time under her watchful gaze, I replied with three shiny words: “Brother Shuang!” Sure enough, these words successfully set her off…

In the drama, Bai Yan was still obedient, still meekly living in the warehouse behind the villa, still wearing the old clothes her good friend Amo gave her. She worked three part-time jobs every day to pay for her tuition. To save two dollars, she would walk all the way home. She would say she had to walk anyway, so walking a bit more didn’t matter. Because buses didn’t go up to the mountaintop. This was a wealthy area that didn’t need buses.

It was just that every night when the moon rose, Bai Yan would secretly run to the banyan tree in the back garden and just sit there in a daze. That was where her mother often took her to bask in the sun when she was little. From the day she turned seven, her brother and father no longer allowed her to set foot in the back garden. So she often came at night like a thief.

Very early on, she would cry. In this place where her mother used to embrace her, she would cry over and over again. Just like when she was little and couldn’t get candy, she would cry. She remembered at that time, her mother would coax her, her father would come to hold her, and her brother would peel the candy in his palm and feed it to her. But as the days passed, she realized her tears were useless. She could no longer see the warm sunlight under the banyan tree, filtering through the layers of green leaves and spilling onto her toes. On countless nights, all she was left with in the darkness was the eerie loneliness and helplessness.

So she no longer cried. And so, the banyan tree became her only companion in this home. Although she was still afraid of the dark and would hide under the tree trembling, her grievances, her unfairness, her everything – besides Amo, only it knew. And no one knew how much, how very much she missed her warm self under the towering embrace of the banyan tree in the sunlight.

Bai Yan was very happy this day. Amo told her that on the grade list posted on the school bulletin board, her final exam scores were the best in the entire grade. She was so excited that her palms were even trembling slightly. Because she knew the school would send the top student of the semester to be an exchange student in England for a year. For this day, she studied hard and worked diligently every day, living frugally. Fortunately, she finally waited until this day. She was very happy. After so many years, it finally seemed like she saw a glimmer of hope.

It was just that when thinking about the money she had on hand, Bai Yan still had some worries. At this moment, Amo saw through her anxiety at a glance. She very impatiently pushed her and said, “No problem, Bai Yan! I’ll help you! We’ll work one more job every day. I’ve also saved some money over these years! When you get to England, you can work part-time yourself. It’s only a year. No matter what, we can hold on.”

Then she patted her chest confidently and said, “Little Bai Yan! You have me! What are you afraid of?” Bai Yan smiled, rarely as gleeful as a child, and threw herself into Amo’s arms. Amo grinned and responded with a big hug. It was just that when looking at this foolishly, dorkily smiling Bai Yan, she secretly turned her head, her eyes full of heartache.

They were happy like this for several days, putting even more effort into their work. Recently, they only slept two hours a day. There was a job at a funeral home that paid much higher than other part-time jobs, but young people were all unwilling to take it. Most girls were even more afraid to accept it. But they gritted their teeth and took it.

It was just that when transporting corpses, no matter how much they mustered their courage, they were still afraid. Especially when transporting corpses in the elevator, they would tremble all over. Then they would hold hands, shaking and biting their lips while smiling at each other in mutual comfort.

However, on the day the list of exchange students was announced, the name clearly written on the notice on the bulletin board was not Bai Yan, but Xu Jun. Xu Jun was Bai Xiao’s cousin. Bai Xiao should actually be called Xu Xiao. This unexpected turn of events caused a stir throughout the school and shocked many people. When Bai Yan saw it, she also stood there frozen for a long time without any expression.

Later, Bai Yan was called to the principal’s office. The principal, who was over 50 years old, said, “Bai Yan, everyone knows your grades. Good! Really very good! But everyone also knows your situation.” He glanced at Bai Yan’s perpetually unchanged old clothes and paused before continuing, “Bai Yan, we also carefully considered it for a long time. We understand your situation and that you can’t afford this expense. So we decided to give this opportunity to Xu Jun. His sister’s family has been sponsoring our school for many years and has advantages in all aspects. You understand this…”

Bai Yan listened silently. She kept her head lowered, silent and soundless. But she suddenly raised her face and just stared straight at the principal like this. She was extremely beautiful. Even in such shabby clothes, with just one glance, she looked like a porcelain doll, her skin so delicate it seemed water could be squeezed out. The principal suddenly became bewitched and involuntarily reached out to caress Bai Yan’s thigh. He said, “Bai Yan, you know if you’re willing, I can give you next semester’s scholarship.” His words and expression had already explained everything.

Just then, the office door opened. Bai Xiao walked in with Xu Jun, holding documents. Following behind them was her biological brother Bai Zimo and Han Zaijun. Both sides were stunned for a moment. The principal’s hand also froze on Bai Yan’s thigh due to the sudden situation. Bai Yan clearly saw them furrowing their brows one by one, obviously having heard the principal’s words just now loud and clear.

At this moment, Bai Yan suppressed all the emotions in her heart. She closed her eyes for a moment before raising them again, sarcastically sweeping a glance at Bai Xiao and Xu Jun behind her. Only then did she turn her face again and stare straight at her biological brother Bai Zimo, who remained indifferent to all her experiences. She was as still as a stone statue, her back ramrod straight, her eyes full of accusations and anger. Slowly, she shuddered all over. Only then did she lower her eyes and gently brush away that old hand resting on her thigh. She only spat out two words, her voice as light as it could be. She said, “Ridiculous…” Then she stood up, the corners of her mouth slightly pulled into a cold, distant smile. Just like that, she brushed past them.

That night, Bai Yan and Amo finally finished transporting the last corpse. They collected their wages and hid in the dark corridor. Amo happily counted the money while saying, “Little Bai Yan! Let’s put in a bit more effort. When we’ve saved up enough money, we’ll first go buy you a few nice outfits. How can you lose face for our country when going abroad? Do you hear me?” The end of the street they stood on was the old, decaying slums. There were mottled walls, clogged sewers, and the stench of garbage. And at the other end of the street was the dazzling, intoxicating commercial district.

At this moment, Bai Yan raised her eyes and saw a Bentley slowly stop at the corner of the street. The boy who had played music for her countless times in her childhood had already grown into a tall and handsome man when she saw him again. And her biological brother Bai Zimo followed behind Bai Xiao like he was protecting a treasure, gentlemanly opening the car door for Bai Xiao, his face full of doting affection as he helped her into the seat.

Bai Yan suddenly remembered when she was little, she liked being Han Zaijun’s little tail. As long as Han Zaijun was coming, she would pester her mother to dress her in the prettiest floral dress.

Then she would take out her favorite doll and wait to play with Zaijun. At that time, Bai Zimo would always stick to her and say, “Yanyan, look at your brother. Don’t always look at Han Zaijun! The Han and Bai families are supposed to have an arranged marriage. He was born to be your husband. What’s the point of you clinging to him? But your brother will have to marry a wife in the future! You should take advantage of the time before your sister-in-law arrives to look more at your brother, you know? Hurry and snatch your brother first, you know? Yanyan, you little fool?” The Han family’s son was to marry the Bai family’s daughter. And also, the brother who would hover around her, circle around her, just to make her look at him a bit more, the brother who called her Yanyan, you little fool. Unknowingly, Bai Yan’s eyes reddened…

“Bai Yan, why are you crying? What are you crying about?” Amo was flustered by Bai Yan’s sudden tears. She shook Bai Yan while foolishly saying, “You unlucky child! Isn’t it just about buying you a few outfits? What’s there to cry about? Don’t cry, don’t cry! You unlucky child! Just how wronged do you feel?”

As she said this, Amo herself also paused for a moment. She sighed and said, “Don’t cry anymore. I know you’ve suffered…”

Amo had a bright and boyish personality, so she also spoke very boldly. Moreover, when she got anxious, her voice would get even louder. This way, she also alerted the people on the other end of the street. And just like that, they gazed at each other, yet clearly divided into two worlds.

1. The expression “on fire” is a folk term, also called “excessive internal heat” or “hot air” in traditional Chinese medicine (TCM). TCM theory explains that when there’s an imbalance between Yin and Yang in the body and internal heat is strong, it leads to excessive internal heat. ↩︎
2. ???????? (tángláng b? chán huángquè zài hòu): This is a Chinese idiom that describes a situation where someone is so focused on their immediate goal or target (the mantis hunting the cicada) that they don’t realize there’s a bigger threat or danger lurking behind them (the oriole ready to catch the mantis). I.e., being too focused on small gains and neglecting potential larger risks or consequences. ↩︎