We had been home for only two days when, due to pressure from various sides, Fu Junyan and I once again boarded a flight to Xinjiang. This time, however, we brought Gu Xiao’an with us, and our journey was much heavier than the last.
Although it was an evening flight, Fu Junyan had given An’an and me each a pair of sunglasses before we left. Recently, I’ve become more delicate, even the bridge of my nose could ache from wearing sunglasses, so I kept pressing my finger against the nose bridge of the frame. An’an, the little silly, watched curiously and imitated me, his little finger also poking at the bottom of the frame, but his big eyes were full of curiosity as he looked at me through the lenses, and in the end, he tragically poked his finger into his nostril.
Gu Xiao’an first blinked blankly, sniffling his nose, then looked up to find Fu Junyan and me staring at him while holding back our laughter. His big eyes rolled around. The little bun then started to act cute, covering his little nose and wailing a few times, then throwing himself onto Fu Junyan’s leg and started to fake cry: “An’an hurts! Brother-in-law blow! Brother-in-law kiss!” I looked at Fu Junyan helplessly as he picked up An’an, hugging the little milk bun and kissing him again and again, then looked at Gu Xiao’an who poked his satisfied little face out of Fu Junyan’s arms, puckering his lips and nuzzling towards me, clearly certifying that An’an is a delicate little thing, look at how smug he is…
The sunglasses for An’an and me weren’t for blocking sunlight, but for protection against camera flashes. Sure enough, Fu Junyan’s foresight once again proved very useful. Although Fu Junyan had ‘flared up’ twice about camera flashes, making some reporters more restrained, reporters close to you not using flash doesn’t mean reporters far from you won’t use flash. Especially when chasing news late at night, reporters need moral integrity, as well as professional integrity. So sunglasses, I suppose, are a compromise and accommodation between us…
When we arrived at the airport, the entire terminal had almost turned into an ocean of white and blue balloons, with fans forming an orderly large circle around the hall. Giant banners printed with Fu Junyan’s and my faces were hung on almost every corridor and elevator in the terminal. As we walked closer, first came three loud “We’re sorry,” followed by uniform chants of “Gu Baobei is the best in the world” and “A man like jade, a gentleman unparalleled in the world.” I’m sure even a deaf person could have their ears fixed by this sound…
Perhaps it’s because I haven’t seen such a grand scene for too long, or maybe it’s because I’ve become a mother and everything feels more cautious now. Seeing this situation, I unconsciously shivered a bit and instinctively took a step back behind Fu Junyan. Fu Junyan almost simultaneously stopped, turned back with Gu Xiao’an in his arms to look at me, understandingly took my hand, comfortingly squeezed my palm and said softly: “Don’t be afraid.”
I nodded, strongly despising myself in my heart. Thinking again, I reached out to cover the little one’s ears, afraid he might also be frightened by this commotion. But Fu Junyan smiled lightly and shook his head at me, using his chin to point at Gu Xiao’an in his arms for me to see. I looked down and saw the little bun stretching his neck excitedly to look around, his little legs kicking wildly, his eyes full of curiosity. Halfway through the path cleared orderly by the fans, An’an suddenly pulled on Fu Junyan’s sleeve, looking up at him and me with a full face of expectation and acting cute, saying: “Brother-in-law, An’an likes balloons, can An’an have a balloon? Can An’an ask for one?” Then, his chubby little finger pointed towards a white balloon held by a female fan on one side, happily pointing at it.
I found An’an’s sudden request very strange, and only then did I follow the little one’s chubby finger to look at the white balloon in that female fan’s hand, realizing that the balloon in her hand was indeed different from other fans’, because there was a small Pororo sticker on the side of that balloon! I instantly felt very speechless, looking at An’an’s expectant little face, not knowing whether to praise the little one for his good eyesight or scold him for being so easily satisfied…
“An’an wants a balloon?” Fu Junyan didn’t show any reaction, just raised an eyebrow and stopped, pulling me along, and bent down to seriously ask Gu Xiao’an.
An’an nodded without hesitation, smiling so his little dimples showed brightly, then turned his face to stare at the Pororo on the white balloon without blinking, opening his mouth and starting to “Wow wow wow!”
I was embarrassed, seeing this I pinched Fu Junyan’s hand holding mine, slightly stood on tiptoe and whispered in his ear: “Fu Junyan, An’an has a Pororo doll in his bag, should I take it out now?”
Fu Junyan pressed my hand and shook his head, turning his face to my ear and said: “We should respect the child.” Then he lightly swept his eyes over the surrounding fans, intimately whispering to me: “Don’t worry, it’s fine.”
Saying this, Fu Junyan nodded gently to the surroundings, ignoring the gradually becoming restless fans and the frantically photographing reporters, just raised his wrist to look at the time, then lowered his head and softly asked the little bun who was staring at the balloon with puffy cheeks and a dazed expression: “An’an wants a balloon, is it the one this sister is holding?” As he spoke, he held my hand with one hand and carried Gu Xiao’an with the other, walking towards the female fan holding the white balloon with the Pororo sticker.
Gu Xiao’an heard this and nodded vigorously, seeing Fu Junyan carrying him towards the balloon, he was so happy that drool started flowing from the corners of his mouth. I quickly pulled Fu Junyan, took out An’an’s handkerchief from my bag to wipe the little one’s face, and then lightly tapped An’an’s little chin to make him close his mouth, causing the little bun to giggle stupidly.
The surrounding fans gradually became restless seeing this, some ‘Sea Treasures’ wearing navy blue cotton jackets had already started pushing forward to see more clearly. At this time, as the “head” of the “Sea Treasures”, looking at the Prince fans still standing like mountains in their white clothes, I couldn’t help but feel a bit embarrassed. Then I heard a girl standing on the far right, wearing a T-shirt printed with Fu Junyan’s face over her cotton jacket, jump onto a flower stand and start shouting with a megaphone: “Hey! Those Sea Treasures! I’m Sijin, the leader of the Prince team! Quality! Mind your quality! Where’s your leader? Don’t you know your Pufferfish Princess is carrying a little pufferfish? Ah! Stay put and don’t push! Be good and stand still to watch! The more you make a fuss, the faster the Prince and Pufferfish will leave! Isn’t it good to look a bit longer! Ha! Be good!” I listened with my eyebrows twitching, but saw Fu Junyan’s eyes full of laughter, nodding gratefully to that girl. In just a moment, the fans gradually quieted down again. I couldn’t help but marvel in my heart, what a valiant Prince team leader! So full of spirit…
At this time, the girl holding the white balloon in front of us was already so excited that she covered her face with one hand, looking at Fu Junyan and me with unfocused eyes. Some of the surrounding fans were also tremblingly looking at us, some starting to cry, some excitedly shaking their hands and feet. I was very helpless, but could only raise the corners of my lips and smile friendlily.
Fu Junyan poked Gu Xiao’an’s chubby face, making An’an look at him, then spoke: “An’an wants this sister’s balloon, right?”
“Mm! Mm! Mm mm mm!” The little milk bun nodded vigorously, his tone getting higher with each sound, waving his little hands wildly in the air.
Fu Junyan didn’t stop him, just smiled faintly while holding Gu Xiao’an steady, and said gently: “This sister’s balloon was bought with money. An’an wanting the balloon is no problem, but what will An’an use to exchange with this sister? We can’t take other people’s things for nothing, understand?”
The little one froze, his eyes widening as he looked at Fu Junyan, the big and small just staring at each other like this. The surrounding fans gradually started to murmur ‘An’an is going to cry!’ But then the little one suddenly shrugged his shoulders, spread his chubby little hands, and tilted his head very innocently, saying: “An’an is small! An’an has no money.”
“Then what should we do?” Fu Junyan chuckled, guiding him patiently.
The little one turned back to look pitifully at the white balloon that attracted his attention the most, then looked up at Fu Junyan with pouting lips. Hanging his little head and sniffling his nose, he slowly reached out to hug Fu Junyan’s neck, resting his little head on his shoulder and not moving. Along with the wilted Gu Xiao’an, the surrounding fans who had been holding their breath watching also reacted, taking out the balloons in their hands and passing them this way. Fu Junyan waved his hand, winking at everyone, and I also gently shook my head, smiling and putting my finger to my lips, hoping everyone would stay quiet. Soon, the hands passing balloons all retracted one after another, and everyone started staring at Gu Xiao’an who was sticking out his little butt and staying still in Fu Junyan’s arms…
An’an was indeed a child educated by Fu Junyan. Soon, the little bun raised his face, neither crying nor upset. He just energetically poked Fu Junyan’s arm, mumbling: “An’an is thinking.” Then, the little one turned his body around, his little butt sitting properly on Fu Junyan’s arm as he looked at that fan, his big eyes rolling around.
The little one first smiled sweetly with a shy face, then waved his chubby little hand to say hello with big eyes open, before saying in a milky voice while counting on his little fingers: “Hello sister! My full name is Gu An, my nickname is Gu Xiao’an, Gu An’an, An’an, little milk bun, little silly, delicate package. I’m a good baby, I can sing, I can draw, I can play with Qi Qi, and I can play the violin. An’an likes sister’s balloon, but An’an is small, An’an has no money. Can An’an sing for sister in exchange for sister’s balloon?” I listened and couldn’t help but cover my mouth and laugh, reaching out to pat An’an’s little head.
That girl was stunned for a moment, then nodded vigorously, her eyes full of excitement and joy.
Gu Xiao’an saw this and happily raised his little face, first saying thank you to the sister, then opened his mouth and sang: “A little spotted dog, squatting at the front door. Two eyes dark and round, wanting to eat a bone. Bone bone, woof woof woof! Bone bone, woof woof woof! Qi Qi! Awooo!”
After successfully getting the balloon, Gu Xiao’an didn’t forget to say politely: “Thank you, sister.” However, after saying this, the little one very bear-like hugged the balloon and rubbed the Pororo sticker on it, extremely happy.
Just as we were about to turn around, the girl who gave An’an the balloon suddenly called out: “Xiao’ai.” I was startled and turned back curiously to look at her, only to hear her tremblingly looking at me and saying: “Xiao’ai, you… hello, my name is Yinian, I like you very much. Can I, can I shake hands with you?”
Hearing this, I smiled, let go of Fu Junyan’s hand holding mine, walked over and hugged her, saying: “Thank you for your love, thank you for your balloon.”
Before boarding the plane, Fu Junyan and I both logged into Weibo on our phones, with only two words for those who love us: “Thank you.”
Before the press conference, without my knowledge, Fu Junyan had actually already found a professional search and rescue team to search for the deputy director’s remains and the sunken car in the Taklamakan Desert. But the difficulty of this search was really too great, and even until we arrived in Xinjiang, there was still no significant progress.
After arriving in Xinjiang, Fu Junyan also participated in the search and rescue team’s work. Finally, after a week of hard work, they found the exact location of the sand-buried car. When Fu Junyan received the call, I was holding Gu Xiao’an, watching Pororo cartoons and laughing stupidly while eating Hami melon. Hearing the news, I jumped up from the chair in excitement. Fu Junyan was also startled by me, dropping the phone in his hand and running over to hug me and Gu Xiao’an who was startled in my arms, the force making him step back a little, steadying me as I stood. He took An’an into his arms, then sighed and pinched my nose, pretending to be angry: “Silly baby! Are you trying to scare me to death and frighten An’an?”
Gu Xiao’an, hearing this, also joined in the excitement, wrinkling his little nose and mumbling softly: “Is sister trying to scare sister to death, scare brother to death, scare brother-in-law to death, scare An’an to death? Mmm… An’an is so cute…” I stuck out my tongue, looking unrepentantly at the big and small in front of me pretending to be angry, I had to reach out and hug him and An’an embarrassedly, nuzzling again and again to act coquettishly: “I was wrong… really…”
Accompanied by police, forensic experts, and reporters, we and the search and rescue team went to that place again, the place that took the deputy director’s life. Fu Junyan initially didn’t want me to go, he said: “Silly child, the weather is too bad, why don’t you and An’an rest in the room?” But I shook my head, resolutely not letting him go to the desert alone, turning around to rummage through the suitcase, wrapping myself up like a giant pufferfish and huddling in front of him, with a thoroughly ‘little bun’ beside me.
Because large tools couldn’t enter the desert, this excavation relied entirely on manpower. The entire excavation work started from the early morning and lasted for a long time. At first, An’an and I both got out of the car. It was Gu Xiao’an’s first time seeing a desert, and he curiously squatted down to grab and feel the sand, playing with sand slipping through his fingers, and silly asked me: “Sister, where is the sea?” In the little one’s mind, where there is ‘beach’ there should be a sea. He didn’t know that in this world, there are such desperate and dry places.
I was conflicted, and after a long time answered: “In your heart.”
Gu Xiao’an wrinkled his little face, confused and shaking his head left and right. In the end, he simply stopped thinking about it, raised his little head with his milky little face, and asked me in a milky voice: “Sister, sister, the sand feels so nice! An’an wants to roll on it! Can An’an roll on it?” I looked at his snow-white cotton jacket and his white shoes that had already been stained yellow, and thought about how difficult it is to take a bath here, so I firmly suppressed my sympathy and decisively shook my head.
Seeing this, Gu Xiao’an looked up at Fu Junyan who was busy not far away, pouted and lowered his little face, knowing there was no hope, squatted on the sandy ground with his little butt sticking out towards me, his little finger drawing circles in the sand, pitifully saying: “Awoo… sister… how sad the sand must be? No An’an rolling on it!” Hearing this, I touched my nose speechlessly, turned my face away not looking at him, and threw a few plums from my pocket into my mouth.
The surrounding staff members looked at us from time to time, and the tense atmosphere also gained a bit of joyful air because of this playful little one.
When it was almost dark, the staff who had been working hard all day suddenly got excited, everyone shouting and exerting effort together. Then, the intact car was pulled up. At this time, I was sitting in the car that had already been safely parked, holding the sleeping Gu Xiao’an in my arms, instinctively looking through the car window for Fu Junyan in the crowd.
And his tall, slender figure was standing not far from me, casting an elegant oblique shadow under the illumination lights, refined and handsome. But I couldn’t see his expression clearly, he was slightly lowering his eyes, only leaving me with his exquisite and beautiful side profile. Fu Junyan, seeing the car finally pulled up, seemed to sigh lightly. Then, contrary to everyone else, he didn’t walk towards the car, but turned back to walk towards me, his figure blocking my view outside the window. He just slightly bent his body, reached his hand into the car window to touch An’an’s sleeping little face, and gently asked me: “Baby, do you want to go back to sleep?”
I rubbed my somewhat sleepy eyes, was stunned for a moment, then asked him: “What time is it?”
“Almost ten o’clock.” Fu Junyan looked at his watch, carefully pulled my earmuffs for me. At this time, I finally saw through that little gap the deputy director being lifted out of the sand-filled car under the supervision of the forensic expert. Just one glance and I knew why Fu Junyan was blocking the window, why he was asking me to rest at this time. Because this warm-hearted man didn’t want me to see such an unpleasant scene, he was worried I would be scared.
I closed my eyes for a moment, then tried to curl my lips and nod, blinking at him, coquettishly pulling his sleeve and saying: “Fu Junyan, you’re so good, I’m really sleepy…”
The cause of the deputy director’s death was both within Fu Junyan’s expectations and beyond them. It was somewhat incredible, somewhat laughable, but the forensic identification still clearly told us that the deputy director died due to a glob of phlegm blocking his airway. Public opinion was in an uproar, but it was just an uproar. Too many people sighed, but the deceased is gone, may he rest in peace. I only hope more people can understand that life is so fragile, so it needs to be cherished even more.
“Mirrored Return” was once again halted midway. At the deputy director’s funeral, the crew members who stayed in Xinjiang also came to the memorial hall to pay their respects. Fu Junyan and I went too. Perhaps because of the somber atmosphere, we never saw the deputy director’s wife. We only received a note passed by the deputy director’s brother, on which five words were deeply written: “I’m sorry, thank you.”
And Fu Junyan, after reading it, fell into deep thought, his brows furrowed. He comfortingly turned his head to look at me, then found a pen and solemnly replied with three words: “Please take care.”
On the last day of leaving Xinjiang, Fu Junyan hugged me, stroking my hair and saying: “I’m going out for a while, baby and An’an be good and stay at home, okay?” I nodded, but because I was worried, I still sneakily followed him, carrying Gu Xiao’an.
Curiously following Fu Junyan all the way, when he stopped in front of a store, I finally realized. Because it was the deputy director’s brother’s store.
I stopped at the street corner with An’an in my arms. Then, I saw Fu Junyan standing very formally in front of the deputy director’s brother’s store. He lightly knocked on that locked glass door, then across the door, spoke softly to the deputy director’s brother standing behind the counter: “Hello, I’m Fu Junyan, sorry to disturb you. The deputy director said at that time that you had kept good wine waiting for him to return. May I have the honor to drink with you the wine that brothers didn’t have a chance to drink?”
Hearing this, the deputy director’s brother seemed to be stunned for a moment, then hurriedly came out to open the door lock. He reached out and firmly grasped Fu Junyan’s hand, unable to speak for a long time, just staring at him with red-rimmed eyes. And Fu Junyan also nodded to him silently, his eyes full of compassion as he patted the deputy director’s brother’s shoulder.
Seeing this, a warm current flowed through my heart. After thinking for a moment, I carried An’an away and found a tea house across the street to sit down. Through the second-floor window, I just quietly watched Fu Junyan sitting in the not-yet-opened restaurant hall, drinking with the deputy director’s brother.
At that time An’an asked me: “Sister, what is brother-in-law doing?”
I lowered my eyes, feeding the little one fruit while saying: “Brother-in-law is healing someone. That uncle is very sad, his brother has gone to another world, so he needs comfort.”
“Then why doesn’t brother-in-law kiss him?” The little one asked me with confusion, puffing his cheeks. Hearing this, I smiled and said softly: “They are men, men have their own ways.”
“Is that the man An’an will grow up to be? But, An’an can drink water together too!” Saying this, Gu Xiao’an took a big sip of his fruit juice, then looked up at me and giggled, acting cute.
Looking at this, I felt helpless yet amused, but in my heart, I was gratified. Patting his little head, nuzzling his little face, I said: “An’an, sister doesn’t have any wish, just hopes that when An’an grows up, he can be as warm and gentle as your brother-in-law, that’s enough…”
Seeing Fu Junyan walk out of the deputy director’s store, I quickly went downstairs with An’an, holding the warm milk I had already paid for, afraid that Fu Junyan might disappear. But when I reached the corner of the stairs, I saw Fu Junyan standing at the foot of the stairs waiting for us. At this time, he was wearing a beige coat, the beautiful line of his jaw slightly raised, in the midday sun, his whole person was coated with a layer of golden light. And he just squinted his eyes smiling at me, calling out softly: “Don’t rush, take it slow.”
When I finally walked to his side with puffy cheeks, Fu Junyan understandingly looked at the milk bottle in my hand, smiled and bent down to pick up Gu Xiao’an, then came over to hug me, burying his head on my shoulder, coquettishly kissing my cheek and saying: “I was wrong… I shouldn’t have drunk alcohol, shouldn’t have made baby worry.”
I glared at him, opened the bottle cap and inserted a straw, handing it to him with a coquettish laugh, saying: “As punishment, just like this! Drink with the straw.”
Fu Junyan raised an eyebrow, and had no choice but to helplessly take the milk from my hand, his fair fingers slightly curled at the joints, his clean fingertips sliding twice on the bottle, winking at Gu Xiao’an who was full of drool in his arms, then obediently lowered his head and took a small sip.
On the way back to the hotel, Fu Junyan suddenly pulled me to a stop. I followed his gaze to look at the black and white television set displayed outside a small shop on the roadside. On the television, they were playing the promotional video we filmed in Suzhou, Lu Shaoyou and Mu Qingqing from the previous life finally meet, they look at each other, strange yet familiar, that one glance, suddenly gives birth to so much hope and beauty…
I smiled unconsciously, hearing Fu Junyan say beside my ear: “Baby, it will soon be your birthday.”
I turned my face, looking at his focused eyes and nodded.
“This time, can I give myself to you?”
“Okay.”
“Let’s go get our marriage certificate…”
“Mm!”
“From young to old, from life to death, I’ve been waiting for you all along…”
A motorcycle passed by, I didn’t hear his words clearly, frowning with annoyance I asked: “What? What did you just say? Fu Junyan?”
“I said I love you.”
“Hehe, I know, I love you too…”
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