Yi Wenze met Tian Chu for the first time in 2005.
He remembered it was a friends gathering. Tian Chu arrived late with a producer. His first impression wasn’t actually very deep. It was mostly polite pleasantries. Saying things to him like she had watched his movies since she was little and really admired him.
Whenever this night was brought up, Tian Chu would always ask, why did he remember her?
He would always patiently repeat, that night she sang one of his old songs. It was very lyrical but she sang it decadently and sadly instead. At that time in the KTV private room, everyone else were actors and film crews. No one paid attention to her expression and reactions. But since he didn’t like socializing much, he tended to pay more attention to subtle details about everyone.
Under the changing lights, she held a mic in one hand. Her other hand casually hugged herself across the chest. This was a subconscious self-protection gesture. Just this one action felt oddly familiar. When he first entered the industry and rapidly became popular, he had no outlet to relieve the tremendous pressure and gradually developed severe depression. He would also often make this gesture when facing the media.
At that time he had endless jobs. And it was hard for him to reject people, so he still tried his best to cooperate with all the promotions.
By the time Manager Mai noticed, he didn’t even want to see anyone anymore. That summer, he stayed in Beijing for months. Because of a little girl’s casual act, he finally realized how ridiculous avoiding the issue was.
That turning point in summer was very important for him as a new actor.
So he thought to give this self-protecting singer a chance to help her get over this obstacle too.
Then he pulled some connections to produce her comeback album.
Because he was busy filming movies, when he met up with her again, her album was nearing completion.
That was the second time he met her, outside the recording studio. He watched her record and softly chat with a friend. When she heard his voice, her eyes immediately flickered as she stared at the invisible glass window and said, “Thank you Master Yi.”
This path wasn’t easy to traverse. Countless people had helped Yi Wenze before, so he didn’t think too much about what he did for her. Instead he paid close attention to how Tian Chu’s new album would perform.
It became a major hit and she instantly shot to fame.
She proved his foresight with her own abilities.
Yet her returns were all very subtle.
From simple coffee, to boxed meals, to visiting him on set. He more or less knew what this girl wanted. But it seemed something was still missing between them. He always politely said thank you, maintaining a distance between them to avoid future awkward rejections.
When did it start changing?
Maybe it was when he discovered she had diligently learned Cantonese well and called to proudly show off to him.
Maybe it was when his mother fell ill and he immediately flew back to New Zealand to keep vigil at her hospital bedside for days, finally feeling exhausted, and then received Tian Chu’s call.
Maybe it was the time he saw her get slapped by the producer yet she bore it silently.
He felt it was enough. She had done enough. He also started having heartache and feelings for her.
So during the upswing of her career, he completely became her backbone of support, whether for her songs or her life.
She was beautiful. More and more self-confidence made her near perfect.
He had always admired her. And she also admired him at first – his reticence, low profile, and extremely good standing among industry friends. But after they married, she first tentatively brought up a secret marriage. They were both idol stars. Revealing their marriage too early wouldn’t benefit anyone.
Just, Tian Chu didn’t understand Yi Wenze had never changed his essence all these years despite all his ups and downs.
He had a very harmonious family, from parents to siblings, where feelings were cultured bit by bit through mutual respect over time. So even though he was positioned as an idol star, he never considered a secret marriage. However, he understood Tian Chu. As a girl who had experienced various ups and downs in the entertainment industry for so many years before finally getting a chance to make it, she was far less fortunate than him.
Moreover, in his eyes, Tian Chu was still just a young girl.
Having ambition and career-mindedness were good things.
He kept winning awards. And the occasional times reporters asked about his private life, he would just smile silently.
For couples in the entertainment industry, it was common to meet rarely and separate often.
The earliest quarrels were all very subtle.
He wasn’t the kind of person to talk about trifling home matters. His packed schedule was usually enough distraction. But she was the kind of person who liked talking, so she always endured and didn’t speak out. The media’s insinuations sometimes really hurt. From speculated co-stars while filming, to even people from her company, she took it all to heart.
The time things completely exploded, he ended up hurting his family member.
He came back from filming and had just entered the house when he received his mother’s call. Since that serious illness, he treasured family more. Whenever he called his parents, he would always make sure to say “I love you” at the end without fail, keeping up this habit cultivated over a decade.
Who knew she would snatch the phone and fiercely smash it on the wall.
The living room lights weren’t turned on. She stood with her back facing the floor-to-ceiling windows. Her entire silhouette was trembling. He silently looked at her and finally said, “It was a New Zealand number.” After speaking, he squatted down and picked up the separated phone parts. He was exhausted and didn’t want to argue. But she slowly squatted down and hugged her legs as she broke down into loud sobs.
Extremely loud voice, as if suppressed for a long time already.
He walked over and half-squatted next to her. “Next time you can ask me first. I’ll explain it to you.” She raised her head looking at him. “Even if you explain I won’t believe it. I’ll be suspicious and think randomly. Now no matter what you say, I’ll overthink. Overthinking that I can’t even fall asleep at all. Sleepless entire nights. Do you know?”
Yi Wenze quietly looked at her. “Do I make you feel very insecure?”
That face had exquisite make-up too, maybe to welcome him home. But now tears had completely washed it away, blurring into one mess. “It’s my own problem. I had to lower myself too much in the beginning. I know I was the one forcing this feeling to happen. So even a frown from you makes me think you’re angry at me. Even a casual smile at any woman, beautiful woman, I’ll understand as you emotionally betraying me.”
He was rendered speechless. All he could do was bitterly laugh and finally reach out to hug her in the end.
He understood her insecurities. He had done everything he could. Finally breaking this mental barrier could only rely on her own self in the end.
Returning to the bedroom, he called mother again. Facing the worry over the line, he only said, “It’s very late. You rest first. Don’t stress too much about these things.”
When he first became famous, his company had just started out. He invested a lot of funds and now held quite some shares and control. To put Tian Chu’s heart at ease, he specifically had Manager Mai sign Tian Chu to a high-cost 5-year contract after her previous one expired.
Because of personal relations, he paid more attention to her development path. If she didn’t succeed, it would be losses he caused the company.
Luckily Tian Chu was also extremely hardworking.
She seemed to want to keep advancing without stop. He knew her pride. He fully utilized his connections to fight for opportunities for her – the best music composers and lyrics, the best producers. Each of her albums were built on high expenses. Releasing 12 albums a year, something beyond what common people could achieve, yet she worked tirelessly day and night to achieve it until she finally lost her voice publicly at a recording studio due to strain.
During that time, he traveled to 17 inland cities for promotions. A month later getting on a red eye flight, he went back to the company and discovered she was still at the recording studio. He watched her recording again when she lost her voice and broke down crying upon hearing his voice. Saying she was exhausted and didn’t want to keep pushing herself like this anymore.
Yi Wenze dismissed all the staff. Then he went in and hugged her, soothing her for a long time. “If you don’t want to keep struggling so hard, then take a break.” His father’s company had some losses two years ago which he covered quite some debts for. But his investments with Richie Woo had been getting on the right track these past few years so things were going smoothly.
He kissed her face with a smile, “I still have the ability to support a wife.”
That night, he thought they had made up again like before.
Then she really stayed home after that. Lounging around playing games all day, cooking for him. Occasionally they chatted. At the end of that year they even went back to New Zealand together and had a lively holiday with his parents.
When his mother asked about children plans, Yi Wenze smiled and looked at Tian Chu, “Go with the flow.” His mother never saw him as a celebrity. In her eyes, he was still the precious son from back then who studied architecture and stayed up all night drafting blueprints.
Tian Chu was somewhat ill at ease and quickly booked return tickets, going back to Hong Kong first.
Because his sister’s wedding, he stayed in New Zealand for 2 more months. When he returned to Hong Kong, a sudden news headline caught him off guard. After one year of rest, Tian Chu decided to make her comeback. To prove her love, she was advancing in Taiwan… Manager Mai’s call came after. After so many years of cooperation, he and Manager Mai were long partners, not maintained purely based on a contractual manager-talent relation. So he could roughly guess what would happen.
In the conference room, he saw Tian Chu.
“I want to sing again,” she looked at him with her hand subconsciously hugging herself across the chest again. “But one year’s rest already drastically decreased my popularity too much, Ze. Let’s get a divorce. I want to develop in Taiwan.”
Yi Wenze was silent for a very long time before walking over. She took two steps back again, “Since meeting you, every day has felt like I’m living in dreams. You’re too good, too devoted, too perfect. So I try everything I can to get you to notice me and pay attention to me. But when I finally have you, I discover I’m very anguished. Ze, you’re too good. Not suited to be a husband. Sometimes I feel it would be better if you were like other men – occasionally having casual flings. Then maybe I could still feel jealous and argue, feel like it’s real. But you do nothing. And because you’ve never done anything, I’ll think that one day you definitely would do something to betray me. Something too perfect that shatters one day will be even harder for me to accept. Please just agree and say we should get divorced first. It’ll be easier on me to take.”
He had acted in many movies over his lifetime but there was no more dramatic line than right now.
What followed next were the divorce papers and division of assets.
It was all handled by Manager Mai. He didn’t even want to show his face. Luckily he had friends around.
He pushed back most of his projects scheduled that year and flew back to New Zealand, back to his alma mater. He was still a familiar sight there but now he could avoid more unnecessary things. He accompanied his sister to her prenatal exams and coincidentally encountered foreign fans asking for autographs, mysteriously asking if the woman with him was his wife. Yi Wenze could only bitterly laugh and shake his head. “No. I’m single.” Preparations for establishing the production company were in final stages. Richie Woo called everyday to complain how tired he was, surrounded everyday by so many beauties that it was too overwhelming. Only then did Yi Wenze book plane tickets to return home.
Then what happened after?
Scandals exploded. Secret marriage exposed. Endless media hounded him day and night with questions.
Then Zhang Director sent over a script, inviting him to film a new domestic project. Can’t turn down an old friend’s invite. It was also a good excuse to leave Hong Kong. During that press conference among the sea of journalists and their longer and shorter weapons cameras, he saw a familiar figure.
Ten years without seeing her, that little girl still had absent-minded eyes, smiling… very smug.
What’s different was ten years ago she was looking at a poster while now, she was looking at his actual self.
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