Xie Ci froze for a few seconds as her fine hair brushed against his eyebrows. A faint floral fragrance made his breath catch, and the skin on his nape unconsciously tensed.
“You really seem to have a fever…”
Xu You didn’t notice Xie Ci’s unusual state, and freed her hand to brush aside his bangs, pressing the back of her hand against his forehead to feel carefully.
He obediently stood there, eyes lowered, his long black eyelashes catching a bit of light, a smile spreading across his lips.
The more he smiled, the harder it was to stop.
Xu You was puzzled by his smile. “Should we go to the hospital?”
“What time is it now?” Xie Ci said carelessly, pulling her wrist down and holding it in his hand.
Xu You turned her wrist, lowering her head to take out her phone and look.
Almost ten o’clock.
So late, and on New Year’s Eve too, who knew if the hospital was even open…
While she was still hesitating, Chen Xiuyun called, telling her to come back quickly.
Her mother’s tone was much firmer this time. Xu You couldn’t continue making excuses and agreed with several “mhms.”
“You’re going home?” he asked.
Xu You nodded, “My mom is urging me, you should go home early too.”
“Alright, I’ll walk you back.”
The path to the residential complex wasn’t far, just a few streets away. On the way back, Xie Ci held her hand, palm against palm.
They got the food container from the security room. An old radio was playing crackling opera music. The security guard handed the thermal container to Xu You through the window, chuckling, “Out so late?”
Xu You took it, “About to head home. Grandpa, are you watching the Spring Festival Gala?”
“Yes, yes.”
The complex’s security guard was an elderly grandfather. Xu You had learned from her parents’ casual chat that this old man had a tough life – his wife died early, and his son was good-for-nothing, addicted to gambling with a pile of debts. He married a domineering wife, and being useless, he had an affair that was discovered. The woman’s family caused a huge scene, and the old man couldn’t stay at home anymore, so he came out to work as a security guard at this age.
Xie Ci listened to Xu You tell this with an expressionless face, suddenly saying: “Oh… cheating.”
After walking a few more steps, she suddenly realized something and looked at him: “Why are you alone today?”
“…What?”
“Why are you spending New Year’s Eve alone?”
“I’m always alone.”
She was confused, then heard him say, “I’ve lived alone since middle school.”
“Middle school?!!” Xu You was shocked, thinking Xie Ci was joking, “Why……”
“Oh, had a fight with my dad.” He said casually, his expression unchanged.
“……..”
Xu You sensitively noticed something off about Xie Ci’s mood, remembering the heavy slap his father had given him in the principal’s office last time. She instinctively felt that Xie Ci must have had some conflict with his family. But she wasn’t a particularly curious person, and moreover, as an outsider, it wasn’t appropriate to pry into others’ family matters, so she swallowed the words that had come to her lips.
They walked silently for several minutes, almost reaching Xu You’s building.
She stopped and thought for a moment before saying: “Although I don’t know what conflict you have with your parents, you could try talking to them properly, after all they are your parents….”
“My mom hasn’t been with my dad for a long time.”
Xu You was stunned, not understanding what he meant.
Xie Ci said, “When I was twelve or thirteen, my dad had an affair, my mom jumped from the second floor in front of me, fell onto the lawn but didn’t die. After she left the hospital, they got divorced. That woman at my dad’s place, she’s only a few years older than me, it’s disgusting. After my mom divorced my dad, she remarried after a few years.”
He was very calm while saying all this, his expression barely changing, as if talking about someone else’s family matters, unrelated to himself.
His rebellious teenage years were full of defiance against family, parents, and even school. Not wanting to stay in that house, he moved out on his own. Early relationships, not studying, mixing with people from outside school. Girlfriends one after another, becoming a hoodlum in others’ eyes.
Xu You’s heart clenched, feeling something indescribable. She lowered her head and slowly said, “I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?”
“I didn’t mean to… earlier.” About the security guard’s story.
Xie Ci’s expression remained unchanged.
“Um…..” Xu You wracked her brains, not knowing how to speak for the first time.
Everything seemed wrong to say.
“Go on up.” Xie Ci put his hands in his pockets, stepping back two steps.
Xu You looked up, only now realizing they had unknowingly reached the building.
She didn’t understand social graces, didn’t know how to handle such situations. Hearing these heavy past events, wanting to say something, at least to keep Xie Ci from feeling sad now….. but still couldn’t speak, afraid that whatever she said might accidentally hurt him……
After hesitating for a while, Chen Xiuyun called several more times to hurry her.
Xu You turned sideways, answering softly: “Mom I’m downstairs, coming up right away.”
“Hurry up, a girl shouldn’t stay out so late.”
“I know.”
“How much longer?”
“Right away…..”
“……”
The phone hung up on that end. Xu You put away her phone, turned around and saw Xie Ci. Before she could speak, he said first, “Bye.”
Xu You’s thoughts stalled, she could only ask: “Are you in a bad mood?”
“No.” he answered.
“Really?”
“I’m used to it, go home.” Xie Ci smiled slightly.
Xu You nodded. Looking at him once more, she said worriedly: “Then go home quickly, call me.”
“Okay.” he agreed.
“Xie Ci, wait—” she called out to him again, her expression hesitant.
Xie Ci turned his head.
“You…..”
“I’m fine.”
The motion sensor lights in the stairwell were broken. Xu You slowly felt her way up in complete darkness. When she reached the second floor, Xu You’s footsteps stopped, her hand tightly gripping the handrail.
“—Xie Ci!”
A woman’s urgent voice suddenly rang out in the quiet residential complex, particularly jarring in the deep night.
The person leaning against the streetlight smoking paused his movement, lifting his head to the side.
Xu You came running from not far away.
She was afraid he had left, running urgently the whole way.
Just now going upstairs, Xu You’s mind kept thinking of how Xie Ci had said goodbye and turned to leave, his figure looking a bit lonely and desolate. She didn’t know how to describe that feeling, but she had a thought in her heart that she couldn’t let him be alone…
Couldn’t let him leave like that.
Seeing her, Xie Ci didn’t move or speak, the cigarette between his fingers falling to the ground.
“Xie- Xie Ci.” Xu You finally reached him, still catching her breath, breathing up and down.
Unable to speak, she simply hugged his waist, her head against his chest, her heart beating uncontrollably.
Xie Ci stood frozen in place, forgetting to react.
After a long while.
Xu You raised her chin, asking: “Are you alone tonight?”
“Mm.”
Xie Ci paused for a moment, as if organizing his emotions, his voice extremely hoarse.
“How did you come?”
“Drove.”
“Then… wait for me in the car, I’ll go up first, wait until my parents are asleep, then I’ll come back down to keep you company.”
Xu You couldn’t bear it, so she added: “We have a tradition at home, on New Year’s Eve we don’t turn off the lights when sleeping. If you’re scared, you can look at our house’s lights.”
“Okay.”
Such crazy things, Xu You rarely did them, to the extent that hiding under her covers, watching time pass bit by bit, she felt absurd herself.
In winter, buried in blankets, her hot breath quickly fogged up her phone screen. She patiently wiped away the condensation again and again with her finger, not blinking her eyes.
The sounds outside gradually died down, the house completely quiet. Her parents had fallen into early sleep.
As soon as it hit 12, firecrackers started popping and crackling downstairs. All kinds of fireworks and firecrackers making cheerful noise.
Xu You timed it perfectly, putting on her coat and getting out of bed, quietly pushing open her bedroom door, tiptoeing to the entrance to change her shoes. She put the key in her pocket, holding her breath as she closed the door.
Running all the way downstairs, she only then realized. She had left in such a hurry, forgetting to agree on a location with Xie Ci.
Xu You clutched her phone, turning in circles twice on the spot, just about to call him when suddenly a horn sounded from not far away.
She looked toward the sound.
Xie Ci’s left hand stretched out the window, waving twice.
She jogged over, opening the passenger door.
The car was still running, a tobacco smell permeating the cabin.
Xie Ci was propping one hand on the window, on the phone with someone. Seeing Xu You get in and settle, he turned on the heater. The car doors locked.
“Wait a bit, soon.” Xie Ci glanced sideways.
Xu You heard his words, nodding, “It’s okay, go ahead.”
On the other end was Song Yifan, hearing movement, he teased: “You two are quite romantic.”
“Mm.”
Seeing Xu You had arrived, Xie Ci had no mind to talk to him anymore, perfunctorily saying: “That’s it then, hanging up.”
“Oh come on don’t hang up, we’re not done talking brother.”
Song Yifan rolled his eyes in frustration, he had specially snuck out from home, arranged for a big group to go keep Xie Ci company, turns out this year he had his girl with him.
“What is it, hurry up will you.” Xie Ci urged again.
Song Yifan cursed under his breath, quickly saying: “How about bringing sister-in-law out to eat with us tomorrow?”
“How many of you?”
“Not many, just Yi, Brother Cheng, Big Pear, we can call them tomorrow too…..”
“We’ll see.”
“Damn, don’t just say we’ll see when we’re already out, give us a straight answer. You know we few specially booked a room just to keep you company, but you just quietly abandoned your brothers for your wife, what kind of bros are we Xie Ci.” Song Yifan complained.
Before Xie Ci could speak, someone else had taken the phone on the other end.
Chen Jingyi walked to a quiet corner, holding the phone, her voice restrained: “You blocked my number?”
Xie Ci’s eyes were on Xu You. She seemed to find waiting a bit boring, so she turned her head to intently watch the fireworks outside the window, thoroughly enjoying them, even taking several photos with her phone.
He tugged at the corner of his mouth, lazily responding with a sound, “Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Don’t bother Xu You.”
Xie Ci had lost patience, not even waiting for a reaction from the other end before hanging up.
Xu You heard her name, thinking he was calling her, turned to ask: “What is it?”
“Nothing.”
In the deep quiet night, only dim warm orange light filled the car. Xu You sat properly and quietly in her seat, shoulder-length hair loose, wearing a cute bear jacket, her cheeks slightly red from running, eyelashes like thin fans.
Anyway, she was uniquely charming.
“Did you cut your hair?” he stared at her for a while, suddenly asking.
Xu You made an “ah” sound, not expecting him to mention this. She nodded, saying embarrassedly: “Mom cut it for me at home yesterday.”
Xie Ci smiled, pulling her wrist.
Looking down, seeing her slender white wrist, skin pure, he couldn’t help leaning in to kiss it.
She was thunderstruck by this action, quickly pulling her hand back, body stiffening, “Don’t do that, there are people outside…”
“Mm… no one.” Xie Ci said carelessly.
Xu You still wasn’t reassured, putting some distance between them, “Let’s just chat.”
“Chat about what?” he asked.
Xu You thought carefully, saying very calmly: “What do you like to do usually?”
“………..”
Xie Ci paused for a long while before saying, “Nothing.”
Seeing her stumped expression, he then smiled, “What about you, studying?”
Xu You shook her head, “Who would like studying?”
“You do, you’re always studying.”
Anyway, before when Xie Ci sat behind her, as soon as class ended he would see her either copying notes or doing papers, seeming tireless. No matter how he teased her she wouldn’t respond or get angry, like a rigid honest scholar, single-mindedly reading sage books.
The scholar said: “Mm, because my grades have always been good, so I got used to studying.”
“Oh.” Xie Ci raised an eyebrow, “So young yet carrying such a heavy idol burden.”
Xu You laughed.
He asked casually: “Which university do you want to go to?”
She thought for a moment, half-jokingly saying: “New Oriental.”
“Going to Beijing?”
Xu You looked at him, asking puzzledly: “Why are you asking this?”
Xie Ci looked at her, “What do you think?”
“……..”
“Oh right.” Xu You suddenly remembered something, saying, “Tomorrow morning, I’ll go with you to the hospital for an injection.”
“Why?”
“You have a fever.”
“Taking medicine is fine.”
Xu You frowned, disagreeing: “Some illnesses shouldn’t be delayed, especially in such cold weather.”
He didn’t speak.
“Okay?” Xu You was still asking.
Xie Ci’s gaze at her became increasingly strange.
Xu You reacted quickly this time, knowing what he wanted to do. She covered the lower half of her face, only her eyes showing, saying softly: “No kissing, you have to agree first.”
He laughed, leaning in to kiss her clean white hand.
Xu You’s ears turned bright red from his action.
Xie Ci leaned forward again, smiling as he kissed her eyes.
“You’re annoying.”
“Even if you don’t let me kiss you, I’m going to.” His eyes were deep, voice hoarse, their faces almost touching.
She backed away.
Xie Ci pulled Xu You’s hand down, one hand propped against the glass, tilting his head to capture her soft lips.
Lips of perfect thickness, very pleasant to kiss.
He held her chin, tirelessly biting and sucking, his mouth full of intoxicating fragrance, numbness spreading to his chest.
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