“Don’t touch…” Xu You lay on her back, vaguely feeling heat rising from her body. She tried to remove his hand from her waist but was pinned to the sofa as he gripped her arm.
“Are you ticklish?”
Firmly trapping her in the corner, Xie Ci seemed to love this position, finding it incredibly satisfying.
Since first seeing her in high school.
She passed by him, bringing a cool breeze. And when she napped at her desk, or stood up to answer questions in class.
Her slender neck, arms, pale thin calves.
Gradually appearing in his dreams and fantasies. Back then, Xu You hated him, he knew that. At first, Xie Ci had been annoyed, thinking he just liked bullying her, not taking it to heart at all.
But the more he deceived himself, the less he could control himself. The more he wanted to get close to her, whenever he got close, he couldn’t stop looking at her. Eventually he simply gave up, no longer suppressing himself, helplessly letting himself fantasize.
After all, no one could know what he was thinking in his mind.
In countless sleepless nights, he imagined scenes like tonight, completely encircling her.
Circling her beneath him.
He couldn’t help it, lowering his head to press his lips against her, gently licking that tender skin. Licking and biting, when Xie Ci kissed Xu You’s flower-petal-like parted lips, his spine tingled as if electrified, his breathing inevitably becoming heavy.
Her mouth was warm, her small wet tongue suddenly captured and sucked.
The two on the sofa breathed heavily.
Heat surged, Xu You gradually became fuzzy yet clear-headed, feeling the person on top of her loosen his grip. She felt something vaguely pressing against her lower abdomen, but didn’t dare touch Xie Ci as he pressed on top of her.
Not daring to say half a word, afraid of stimulating him further, her expression completely crumbling.
Xie Ci buried his head in her neck, his damp black hair and scorching breath making her tremble.
After a long while.
He grabbed his jacket that had been thrown aside earlier, covered her with it, then suddenly stood up.
The bathroom’s yellow light came on, followed by the sound of running water.
A few strands of Xu You’s hair stuck to her mouth. She slowly sat up, her chest, arms, and calves showing faint red marks where he had gripped. Remembering Xie Ci’s… lewd actions just now, Xu You felt her blood running backward. She dared not think further, silently fixing her disheveled nightgown, the jacket covering her legs.
The pitter-patter of water stopped.
She suddenly came to her senses, escaping to her room like a fugitive. She locked the door, her heart almost jumping out of her chest.
Sitting on the edge of the bed calming her emotions, her cheeks burning hot. Xu You bit her lip, lost in thought.
It was nearly midnight, she sat by the headboard, her phone almost fully charged. Just as she unplugged it, the lamp flickered twice, and the entire room suddenly plunged into darkness.
Lightning flashed outside the window, followed immediately by the sound of pouring rain.
The night rain had started again.
Xu You raised her arm to press the wall switch, trying repeatedly, but the dead light showed no response.
After a while, Xu You looked around, unable to see anything in the pitch darkness. She felt her way to standing. After just a few steps, there was a knock at the door.
“—Xu You, are you there?” It was Xie Ci’s voice.
She slowly felt along the wall and opened the door.
“What’s wrong?”
“The power’s out.”
“I know.”
Although they couldn’t see each other, after what had just happened, she still felt uncomfortable…
Xie Ci paused, “Are you scared being alone?”
“No.”
“I am, will you come out and keep me company?”
Late at night, with a storm raging outside. Xu You found and lit a candle, its flickering flame casting two distorted shadows on the living room wall.
Xie Ci sat on the small sofa, which was somewhat low. His legs spread apart, elbows resting on his knees, looking completely serious, not even letting his eyes wander.
Though his eyes didn’t wander, it didn’t mean his thoughts weren’t straying.
“Um.” He turned his head and met her eyes.
Too sudden.
Xu You asked, “What were you going to say?”
In the dim light, Xie Ci looked at Xu You a few times, “What you told me on the stairs just now, was it true?”
She remained silent.
“—You said you liked me very much, and would take care of me in the future.” He recited word for word.
“Wait, don’t say anymore.” Xu You’s eyelashes trembled, wishing she could cover his rambling mouth.
She bit her lip, face slightly red, eyes seeming to hold autumn waves, making Xie Ci’s heart flutter as he watched her, almost losing control again.
After fluttering for a while, he suddenly remembered something, “Do you remember in high school, once during evening self-study, there was also a rain and power outage?”
“Then the teacher left, and the classroom was really chaotic. We were all fooling around, but you were the only one using a flashlight, quietly studying at your desk. I peeked over and saw you were actually solving physics problems. I was really impressed then, thinking, damn, this new classmate is really a study machine.”
Xu You was amused by his strange description, laughing silently before quietly saying, “Of course I remember.”
And remembered very clearly.
Xie Ci was surprised, “You remember?”
“You and Song Yifan were messing around with umbrellas next to me, stepped on my foot, knocked over my desk, and broke my flashlight when it fell.”
Xie Ci listened with a smile, “Oh, what else?”
Her expression became uncomfortable, “Seems that’s all, I don’t remember anything else.”
Xie Ci said confidently: “You definitely remember.”
Xu You: “…..”
Xie Ci said leisurely, “You stood up after picking up the flashlight.”
“You’re so annoying.” She interrupted him.
Xie Ci held back his laughter, “It’s been so long, you just happened to fall and kneel beside my leg when you got up, right?”
“……”
“I was wondering what happened, the new classmate giving me such a big bow.”
“…….”
“When I helped you up, you kicked me, it still hurts thinking about it now.”
“…..”
“Are you embarrassed?” he probed.
Xu You turned away, her face clearly red.
“Okay, I’ll stop.” Xie Ci smiled sideways. His sharp Adam’s apple bobbed twice, his gaze stopping for two or three seconds on her bare white thighs before moving away.
After a while, Xie Ci returned to the previous topic, “Actually it’s not a big deal, don’t hold a grudge. I even suspect the reason you hated me so much later was because that night I accidentally—”
His words were stopped in his mouth. Xie Ci’s eyes widened, his mind only having two words.
Holy shit?!
Xu You knelt beside him, raised herself up, wrapped her arms around his neck, and pressed her lips to his.
She opened her mouth slightly, the faint soap fragrance from her body lingering at his nose.
Xie Ci’s brain short-circuited for a moment before quickly taking control, pressing her down onto the sofa.
Hair scattered on the bed, Xu You was kissed senseless. Her fingers found his soft black hair, while her other hand was pinned by Xie Ci, their fingers interlaced.
His thin lips met her delicate neck. He bit from her burning earlobe down to her chin, lifting the hem of her nightgown.
Slippery smoothness that couldn’t be held in one hand…
He used his thumb and forefinger to massage, hearing muffled moans from her throat.
Really.
This was deadly.
They were just chatting, how did they end up entangled together a second time….
Damn, one spark and it ignites, he really didn’t have that much self-control.
In the quiet room, there were only intermingled chaotic breathing sounds, soft tongues entwining, teeth lightly clicking together, somewhat painful.
Xie Ci was sweating from restraint, his waist, back and neck covered in a thin layer of sweat. Xie Ci spoke hoarsely, low and lower, “Xu You, I…..”
Under the jumping candlelight, his sweaty appearance, lost in desire. It had an indescribable, inescapable sexiness.
He stopped after one word. The hand propping by her ear clenched, even the knuckles turning white.
Deliberately holding back, reaching his limit, reason told Xie Ci he needed to stop, couldn’t continue.
But reason worked once, the second time it clearly wasn’t as effective.
Xu You’s body went limp, hazily propping herself up, heart beating fast, “Xie Ci, don’t take a cold shower anymore.”
He breathed uncontrollably, his chest rising and falling.
“Are you sure?”
“Mm…” she could barely speak anymore.
Behind them, the last light in the living room was blown out.
In the darkness, she slowly got down from the sofa, barefoot, feeling her way to take his hand.
Xie Ci breathed heavily for two or three seconds, then turned to push Xu You into the corner, arms encircling her entire person, head lowering to seek soft lips.
The next day, Xu You slept until she was completely disoriented before getting up.
Just as she pushed open the door to go out, You Lele sat cross-legged on the sofa holding a glass of juice, watching TV without looking away.
Her eyes scanned Xu You up and down, saying eerily, “Xu You, which man did you fool around with last night?”
Xu You’s motion of fixing her hair paused, she didn’t speak, just randomly pulled out a chair and sat down.
The phone on the table vibrated twice, Xu You picked it up to look, just about to answer.
You Lele put her juice glass aside, running over in a few steps, “Look at you!”
On her neck, and collarbone, even her arms and calves, there were suggestive red marks. You Lele didn’t need to think to know….
She carelessly pulled open Xu You’s nightgown collar, peeking inside.
Tsk tsk tsk tsk.
What an intense battle!
Xu You protected her chest, not playing along, quickly answering the phone, “Hello?”
“Why did it take you so long to answer?” Xie Ci asked.
Xu You pushed away You Lele’s grabbing hands while saying: “I was just sleeping.”
“You… don’t run around these few days.” His voice was unnatural, “Are you… still in pain?”
Hearing him say this, Xu You’s face also reddened, feeling awkward, stammering, “It’s fine.”
The intimate sweet atmosphere spread, neither wanting to hang up first. After saying a few more words, before hanging up, Xie Ci asked, “By the way, you’re free the day after tomorrow for Qixi Festival right?”
“I’ll come find you?”
Xu You mmm’ed in response.
As soon as the phone cut off, You Lele pounced over eagerly, muttering, “Damn, your whole body, your first love is something else…”
“….”
You Lele had a knowing look, “Last night, how many times did you…?”
Xu You wouldn’t answer such questions, escaping back to her room.
On Qixi Festival, Xie Ci arranged to meet her at a location.
Xu You didn’t have a habit of putting on makeup before going out, just tidied up a bit and left.
He sat waiting for her on a railing in the park. Seeing Xu You approach, Xie Ci casually jumped down.
The park was very lively, the path full of couples, neon lights glowing, and Xu You’s steps faltered.
In a daze, seeing the person before her, she thought she had returned to many years ago.
Xie Ci wore the black skull t-shirt from his student days, his features even more handsome. He had his hands in his jeans pockets, smiling lazily at her.
Then, Xu You understood why Xie Ci had asked her to remember to bring her ID and wear a white dress.
The flight from Shanghai to Lin City was at six in the evening.
The whole way, her heart was pounding, feeling like she was in a dream.
“Why did you suddenly think of buying tickets back to Lin City?”
“What do you mean sudden, I planned it long ago.” Xie Ci sat on the plane, constantly smiling, “Are you happy?”
Back in Lin City again.
This city, after so many years, was still the same as ever, particularly lively at night.
Among the bustling crowds, Xie Ci held Xu You’s shoulders as they wandered through every street and alley.
The night market beside the park, and the small river, barbecue stands, still had many people gathered around the small trinket stalls.
In the central plaza, bright advertising signs began to shine. People came and went reflected in store windows, continuous flow through the glass doors of buildings. Life was still beautiful, not much changed.
He held her hand, walking all the way, with wooden benches to rest on every few steps.
“Do you remember watching the sunrise here with me?” Xie Ci bent his face close, looking at her.
His pupils were dark and bright, reflected in her eyes.
Xu You felt tender yet somewhat bitter in her heart, “I remember.”
They watched the sunrise together, it was winter then, a night both cold and freezing.
“I also remember, after I kissed you that time, you wouldn’t talk to me for a long time.”
She gently bit her lip, “Who told you to be a pervert.”
Xie Ci kissed her carelessly on the street, silently smiling.
It was a sweet taste.
They walked on the street for a long time, then took a bus.
Nearly nine o’clock, only a few scattered people sat on the bus. The bus slowly started, they found seats by the window.
They got off at the First High School entrance.
First and second years didn’t have evening study, third years were still in evening classes. The school’s main and side gates were closed, only the security room and third-year teaching building had lights on.
“Are we… going into the school?” she asked hesitantly.
“Why else would we come here?”
“What if security won’t let us in?”
“We don’t have to go through the main gate, how about I help you climb the wall?”
Xu You was shocked, “Climb the wall?!” She turned to look at him in disbelief, “Are you sure?”
Xie Ci said seriously, “What else? You think I was the school boss for nothing?”
Xu You: “……”
In the end they didn’t climb the wall, they went to the security room, said they were visiting teachers, registered and were let in.
The school had been renovated several times over the years, but its overall appearance hadn’t changed. The colorful fountain at the school gate, the phoenix trees planted along the road, the roses blooming perfectly on the black iron railings.
From the rubber track on the sports field, all the way to the basketball court, flagpole, and school supermarket.
They walked hand in hand.
The former second-year teaching building had been changed to the first-year building. He led her up the western building in the dark, finding their old Class 2-9 classroom by memory.
The classroom door was closed, Xie Ci propped his hands on the windowsill, forehead against the glass looking in.
Luckily, one sliding glass door wasn’t locked. Xie Ci’s movement climbing in through the window was natural and smooth, not diminished from his past glory.
After climbing in, he opened the door to let Xu You in.
The night’s moonlight was bright, no lights were on, just enough for them to see each other.
Xu You felt somewhat at a loss, she walked onto the platform, her heart slowly surging like the tide, silently moved.
The empty classroom, it really felt like returning to the past, these many years having a dream-like haziness, as if nothing had changed.
Xie Ci sat on a desk watching her.
She looked cute glancing around.
“Achai.”
“Mm.”
Xu You slowly walked down from the platform, sitting close to him. After a while, she rested her head on his shoulder.
Xie Ci lifted her face, his eyes slightly narrowed, “Are you happy?”
She didn’t speak, gently closing her eyes.
Xie Ci said: “The day before yesterday I had a dream, dreamed we were still in high school.”
Xu You strongly held back her wet eyes, listening to him speak carelessly: “Then you reached out your hand, and I went with you.”
In the quiet dark classroom, his voice was gentle yet blurry, as if returning to the beginning.
“I used to always secretly watch you in class.”
“Deliberately tightened your water bottle, imitated your voice when reading texts.”
“During PE class, deliberately brushed against you while running.”
“Passing by you, knocking down your books and pens.”
“Secretly following you home after school.”
“Later when we separated, I thought you were destined not to be mine.”
“……”
“Xie Ci.” Xu You called his name, her voice very light and soft.
“Let me give you a home.”
He was stunned, after a long while, smiled, “Okay, I’ll take care of you from now on.”
I’ll give you a home, take good care of you.
After all these years, I still haven’t been able to forget you.
Whether dawn or dusk, or a hundred years from now, we can never be like many years ago. Never again able to seriously and lastingly like someone.
When only an ending was missing, who would be willing to start over from the beginning?
Seventeen-year-old Xie Ci, fighting, smoking, drinking, hanging out in bars, liked mixing with older male students.
On a midsummer day, Xu You carried her books, pushing open the classroom door under everyone’s gaze.
Some boys sitting on desks whistled.
The classroom was noisy and chaotic, Xie Ci propped his head with one hand, legs crossed on the chair, wearing jeans and a black t-shirt.
She stopped in front of him wearing a white cotton dress.
Outside the window the sky was very blue, the woods lush green, the sunlight especially brilliant.
Leave a Reply