The world fell silent. Then there was a faint “crack”, as subtle as snow breaking a tree branch. Lu Yun suddenly turned around. The mountain fog was torn open by a force, followed by rolling waves of snow like an avalanche.
Vast and endless.
Lu Yun roared: “Run in different directions—”
In that split second, his usual casual demeanor vanished as he tensed every muscle, fleeing outward at top speed. But the entire mountain was covered by this cascading flood of snow. The world was eerily quiet except for his own breathing. Lu Yun made several leaps through the snow, moving extremely fast, but still couldn’t outrun the speed of the avalanche.
When the great force rushed toward his spine from behind, Lu Yun only managed to drop and roll on the ground, raising his sleeve to block his face and chest. His spine escaped being crushed. But the rushing force buried him, and his vision filled with white as his body was swept away.
The world spun as he lost consciousness.
…
When he regained consciousness, he was lying on his side, buried in snow. His whole body was in agony, numb all over. The freezing cold and the crisis of depleting air both assailed Lu Yun.
His chest throbbed with waves of pain.
His arms hurt terribly from maintaining the position of propping up the accumulated snow above him for so long. Now he could barely move them.
Lu Yun called out twice: “Is anyone there?”
Only his own breathing answered.
He tried to move but couldn’t.
Lu Yun closed his eyes, calming his anxiety and forcing himself to stay composed.
He inwardly laughed bitterly, thinking this must be his destined death. For all his calculations, he still lost to heaven, lost to his own arrogance. He had imagined countless ways he might die, but never thought he would be defeated by nature itself. He always believed that actively responding would turn things around, but life took a turn, and he was still closest to death.
Lingyu must be furious with him right now, right?
If he… Lingyu…
He only vaguely thought about it for a moment before forcing himself to stop thinking about those things. Right now, self-rescue was most important.
Lu Yun had already been injured in the fighting with enemy troops. He slowly folded his arm that had been protecting his vital areas. Slowly, he brought his hand to his lips and gently bit down, causing blood to drip from his finger. Lu Yun’s eyelashes trembled slightly, and when he opened his eyes, using the snow’s light, he stared at the direction his blood was dripping.
The blood dripped onto his face.
Making his cold, clean face appear bewitching from the blood.
However, Lu Yun used the direction of the blood flow from his finger to determine the direction the snow had buried him from top to bottom. To save himself, he needed to go against that flow. After determining the direction, he gathered his strength to dig through the fluffy snow, creating a hole. Like swimming, he crawled outward bit by bit.
Lu Yun knew he had to hurry.
As time passed, the fluffy snow would compact and harden. By then, with his strength depleted and no air left, it would be impossible to dig through snow that had solidified into hard chunks.
Lu Yun estimated that if he couldn’t get out and receive help within half an hour, today would be his death day.
…
But this wasn’t necessarily a road to certain death.
In this world, there are no certain deaths. Even with nine deaths and one life, heaven will still leave that one hope of survival.
After the avalanche, its vast coverage blanketed the entire mountain, blind to friend or foe. Whether it was the Hengyang Prince’s army or the Northern troops under the Luoyang Governor, all were buried. The only fortunate thing was that this was Southern territory – only the Southerners could choose whether to rescue people. The Southern army still had a glimmer of hope, while the Northern army faced total annihilation.
Tents were set up at the base of the mountain. The first to be rescued were several scholars who had already been fleeing down the mountain, including that Gunpowder Master. Protected by soldiers all the way, the avalanche hadn’t endangered them. They were arranged to rest, looking back at the cloud-shrouded snowy mountain with lingering fear.
Before General Wei’s side received news, Luo Lingyu had already commanded: “Quick, go up the mountain to rescue people! Send someone to tell Young Master Zhou to send people here to help.”
Though she managed to arrange the rescue effort, her words came rapid-fire and her face turned pale – her heart had already flown from there. No one could persuade Luo Lingyu when the young lady lifted her skirts and ran to the soldiers heading up the mountain to rescue people, wanting to go with them. Everyone was shocked and tried to stop her: “There’s still danger of avalanches on the mountain… Young Lady is too delicate…”
Luo Lingyu interrupted: “Don’t worry about me! My health is very good, I rarely get sick. Though I may look delicate, that’s just pretense – I’m actually quite tough…”
Everyone: “…”
Luo Lingyu: “You don’t need to take care of me, don’t worry about me!”
The beautiful young lady opened her beautiful eyes, moist with emotion, looking pleadingly at the men. As such a beauty, there were almost no men who could refuse her.
One person still hesitated: “If it’s for Third Young Master, we ourselves can…”
Luo Lingyu: “I’m the one who worries about him most, I understand him best… let me go, please let me go!”
Her heart choked with emotion.
She actually didn’t care about anyone else.
Let them die.
She only cared about Lu Yun. If he was safe, she would have the heart to care about her reputation; if he wasn’t safe, what was the point of maintaining her reputation, and for whom? She had always hoped to be different in Lu Yun’s heart, to be special to him, for him to see her good side.
Don’t just focus on her flaws.
Don’t always think she’s a petty person.
She was going to marry him. How could her future husband die?
…
The soldiers couldn’t persuade Luo Lingyu otherwise.
Young Lady Luo was determined – no matter how they tried to convince her, she wouldn’t give up going up the mountain. She was also eloquent, able to persuade and smooth over everyone’s different opinions. She promised not to burden anyone, promised not to seek death if another avalanche occurred. She was absolutely pitiful, saying she must find Lu Yun.
Everyone’s hearts softened and they agreed.
Luo Lingyu stumbled along with everyone as they searched the mountain. The mountain fog hung between scattered and thick, the young lady in her red cloak and white dress, her skirts trailing in the mud. She dug through snow with others, looking all around, putting her hand to her mouth to shout: “Lu Yun, Lu Yun… cough cough Lu Yun—”
The wind filled her mouth, choking her chest with tightness.
Luo Lingyu fell to the ground. Whenever she felt movement, she would dig at the snow, desperately excavating to rescue whoever was buried below. Each time she saw it wasn’t Lu Yun being rescued, Luo Lingyu couldn’t hide her disappointment.
Disappointment, utter disappointment.
She was this selfish, her heart was this small. If it wasn’t Lu Yun, any other person made no difference to her.
She could only search frantically like a headless fly, not missing any possibility. She knelt on the ground, almost crawling forward on all fours. Her hands touched the ice-cold snow as she watched rescued person after person turn out to be corpses. Her heart collapsed, experiencing its own avalanche.
Though she didn’t show it on her face.
The young lady covered her mouth, tears falling like pearls, crying out in despair: “Lu Yun— where are you?! You promised me…”
…
She had said “A thousand autumns ask for one word from you, may love be as unchanging as mountains.”
He had smiled then and said “alright”, said he would give her an answer.
Could she still wait for that answer?
She didn’t want Lu Xian’s dream— she had rushed all the way from Jianye to Nanyang, she came to marry him, not to validate that dream.
…
The air grew thinner and thinner. After digging out a section, he had no strength left, yet still couldn’t hear sounds from outside, couldn’t sense people’s voices.
Lu Yun panted, stopping. He couldn’t throw his life away, couldn’t let himself completely run out of air. His bloodied hand moved downward, touching the pouch tied together with the jade pendant at his waist. That pouch with ordinary embroidery must be the one Luo Lingyu gave him.
Lu Yun sighed softly, blood from his fingers dripping onto the pouch. He carefully caressed the embroidery, his mind growing hazy and gradually unclear.
He knew he was drifting in and out, confused and muddled, as if in a dream.
…
He hazily saw stars turning like light, the night cool as water.
He was reading in his room when he heard a knock at the door. A lady wearing a hood stood at the doorway. The light from the room shone out as she removed her hood, revealing her beautiful face – it was Luo Lingyu. She stood in the dim light of the lantern outside, the lantern swaying gently in the wind, the light falling on her face like rippling waves.
Lu Yun who opened the door wore a small crown, dressed in a light cloud-patterned brocade robe. He lowered his eyes to see plum blossoms scattered on the lady’s trailing skirts. But Lu Yun’s face was cold, indifferent. He was as cold as if without feeling: “Why are you here?”
Luo Lingyu said softly: “They say you’re heading to battle tomorrow, leaving Jianye. I came to see you off.”
Lu Yun raised an eyebrow, his tone slightly mocking: “I dare not accept the Hengyang Princess’s send-off.”
Luo Lingyu acted as if she hadn’t heard. Her eyelashes trembled, casting down a sorrowful shadow. Lu Yun’s heart felt empty yet painfully tight. His hand twitched, wanting to pull her into an embrace, but saw her reach out, her posture at its lowest, offering forward the pouch in her hand.
Luo Lingyu’s expression was rather forced as she said quietly: “The talisman I begged from the Great Master of Kaishan Temple, for safety and protection. I give it to you… consider it my final return to you.”
Lu Yun’s body suddenly stiffened, yet he didn’t move.
She stepped forward, tremblingly reaching out, her fingertips touching his waist. Her eyes were moist as she tied this pouch to his waist. Her nails brushed over the pouch she had embroidered, hiding her heart’s feelings inside. And in her disappointment and confusion, she didn’t know if he would understand.
She didn’t want to marry the Hengyang Prince – she had been threatened by Fan Qingchen, and had also discovered the Hengyang Prince’s plot to assassinate the Emperor, and didn’t want to implicate Lu Yun… she didn’t want to implicate Lu Yun, yet in her heart she still harbored weak hopes.
Luo Lingyu lowered her head, tears in her eyes. But her voice was calm: “I’m going to marry the Hengyang Prince now. After marriage I cannot let my husband doubt me. Don’t come find me anymore, don’t meet with me in private. We were acquainted after all – I hope you won’t hinder my future prospects or ruin my reputation. The Hengyang Prince has the Emperor’s favor, perhaps he may become Emperor one day, then I would be Empress… This is our final meeting, I hope you won’t let anyone know of our relationship.”
Lu Yun sneered: “I hinder your prospects?”
He stepped forward, and she retreated under his shadow. He suddenly reached out, grabbing her wrist. He pressed her against the corridor pillar, his nose touching her cold face. He said coldly: “You actually say I hinder your prospects… Do you really love wealth and status that much, want so badly to marry?”
Luo Lingyu hardened her heart, closing her eyes: “Yes!”
Lu Yun demanded: “Then what about me?!”
Luo Lingyu: “…You cannot make me Empress! I just want supreme power, want to… mmph! Lu Yun… Lu Yun…”
Her lips were sealed.
He bent down to kiss her.
Tightly embracing her waist as he kissed her.
The banana leaves were cool, light shimmering like water, as Third Young Master Lu passionately kissed her, embraced her. He gripped her wrist as she beat against his chest. He didn’t want to let her go, his heart angry, knowing this was the last time.
…
He wanted to beg her humbly.
But Lu Yun was proud and arrogant, he never begged anyone.
He wrote half a letter, wrote the words “paper short, feelings long”, then crumpled it and threw it away. In his heart he loved her, couldn’t bear to part with her, yet was angry she would marry another. But he wouldn’t admit it, wouldn’t watch it happen.
He went to the frontier.
The night before being pierced by ten thousand arrows, Lu Yun drank himself into a stupor. Because the new Emperor rushed to have a grand wedding after ascending the throne, bearing the pressure of the court, Luo Lingyu became Empress in one step. Just as she had hoped. Frontier soldiers came to network with Lu Yun, to ask him questions. They had heard Her Majesty the Empress was Third Young Master Lu’s cousin, had once stayed at the Lu residence…
Lu Yun remained silent.
His heart felt utter despair, knowing nothing could be changed.
He died in battle the next day. The Northern army launched a surprise attack while Lu Yun was despondent and suffering from his hangover. He accepted that death of being pierced by ten thousand arrows, kneeling among others, even feeling a sense of release before death—
Think of his life, seemingly glorious, seemingly with many admirers.
But he never had love, no one truly loved him.
He really hated Luo Lingyu.
The pouch at his waist, that pouch carrying Luo Lingyu’s love, he never looked at it once. He felt she didn’t love him, he wasn’t willing to debase himself further, begging like a dog before her for her love. That love he sought but couldn’t obtain… he really hated her!
…
Lu Yun himself was hazy, as if watching someone else’s play. It felt both strange yet deeply relatable. When that version of him in the dream died pierced by ten thousand arrows, when that version’s disappointment in his heart, Lu Yun felt as if struck heavily, his chest also missing a great hole, sticky blood flowing out.
But in the dream, different things happened afterwards.
When news of Lu Yun’s death reached Jianye, in the vast Taichu Palace, the new young Empress was trimming branches for flowers in the garden. A palace maid mentioned the news casually. Almost instantly, the young lady who had been smiling gently moments ago suddenly emptied of expression.
She stood frozen, the scissors in her hand falling to the ground.
For a moment, she kept her head down. The palace maids couldn’t see her expression, but Lu Yun knew she was crying.
She held herself rigid as tears fell to the ground, forming a small puddle.
She quickly returned to her chambers. She could no longer hold back, falling onto the bed, covering her nose and mouth as her shoulders shook.
In the dim light of her chambers, Luo Lingyu, now Empress, secretly wept in the palace, not daring to make a sound. Her emotions were extremely suppressed, extremely painful. She felt as awful as if she herself had died… she had never imagined he would die at the frontier.
With selfish heart, she had given him that pouch, hoping that man would never forget her. In the future when he took a wife and had children, his wife would still have to bow before her. She would always be above his wife. Each time his wife saw her, he would know news of her once. She wanted him to never forget, wanted to remain in his heart.
Luo Lingyu and Lu Yun had maintained that stubbornness – if he wouldn’t lower his head, she wouldn’t lower hers; if she wouldn’t lower her head, he also wouldn’t lower his. They would slowly wear each other down, they had a lifetime to fight over this stubbornness.
But she didn’t want him to die.
Her Third Cousin, her peerlessly elegant Brother Xuechen… he was gone.
Luo Lingyu wept: “Lu Xuechen, I hate you.”
…
Lu Yun suddenly awakened, opening his eyes to still see a world of silver white. The suffocating pain he had just felt seemed like a dream. Lu Yun’s forehead was covered in cold sweat as he thought perhaps it really was a dream.
It was the first dream that Lu Xian had vaguely mentioned.
Lu Yun’s fingers were numb as he again used force to dig outward through the snow, gradually losing consciousness again from lack of air.
…
This time, fierce winds howled, fog filled the mountain covering snow.
Lu Yun’s chest and abdomen were in severe pain. He looked down to see his abdomen bleeding profusely. He leaned against a mountain rock, unable to move.
He seemed to be dreaming Second Brother’s second dream – before his death.
Just sitting quietly, hazily waiting for death.
In his heart he yearned to see her, he had glimpsed the secret hidden in her pouch. But with snow connecting the mountains, he couldn’t see her.
Lu Yun lowered his head, smiling self-mockingly. Suddenly, in the vast landscape, in his final moments, hazily, he heard her calls: “Lu Yun, Lu Yun—”
Lu Yun leaned against the rock, his whole body stiff, without an ounce of strength. His life was rapidly fading, blood and snow mixed on the ground. He thought he couldn’t wait for her anymore, perhaps it was just an auditory hallucination. Using his last bit of strength, he bit his hand and wrote a few words in the white snow with blood—
A thousand autumns return one word to you, love itself as unchanging as mountains.
…
Looking back on the past, never forgetting, unable to gaze upon each other.
In Lu Yun’s final moments, he leaned lonely against a great rock in the mountains, writing these words. He felt Luo Lingyu wouldn’t appear, yet he suspected he had really heard her calls… he just wanted to give himself some comfort.
He was so cold.
Snow covered his eyelashes as Lu Yun closed his eyes.
He heard the lady’s voice again in the distance: “Lu Yun where are you—”
Lu Yun murmured softly. Across such distance, knowing she might not be there, might not hear. He just said to himself: “Lingyu…”
Yet he had nothing more to say.
Disappointment, hope. Pleading, rejection.
His heart was unwilling, not wanting to die like this. But he had no choice anymore. Even if she appeared, in his current state, he couldn’t survive.
Therefore, even though her calls grew closer, he still didn’t make a sound, didn’t respond.
Because death was certain. Because he didn’t want her to see how he died. He felt he had failed her, letting her love him in vain… In the end, her dream of glory and wealth, he had nearly cut off her path.
He had harmed her.
…
And the lady finally found him after death, she held him crying loudly, her tears buried in his neck.
Lu Yun watched quietly as Luo Lingyu cried, suffered, and finally returned to Jianye. She was deeply saddened, unwilling to marry anyone else.
Through the long night, with five-colored glazed light. He quietly watched all this, as if it all really happened before his eyes. Lu Yun lowered his gaze, thinking: no matter whose dream this was, whoever’s dream it might be, he hoped that in a world without him, Luo Lingyu could forget him and be a little happier.
…
“Lu Yun, Lu Yun—” The lady’s calls once again filled the world.
Tumbling through dreams, drifting for several years, much time had passed, with no more of her and him. In reality, Lu Yun was dazed and confused, snow blocking his nose and mouth. He tremblingly opened his eyes, vaguely feeling he had heard Luo Lingyu’s voice.
Dreams and reality briefly confused his mind, making him unable to distinguish which was real and which was false. But he heard her voice, and he remained silent.
Thinking of her tears and melancholy in the dream.
He gripped the pouch at his waist again, thinking he couldn’t die.
No matter whose dream it was, he couldn’t die, couldn’t let Luo Lingyu lose hope.
Unable to move his whole body, Third Young Master Lu was buried under the snow. Using his last bit of strength, he shouted loudly: “Lingyu… help… help—”
…
It took half an hour total, from the avalanche to rescuing people.
Luo Lingyu thought she heard the faint voice of her lord, and she grabbed those around her wanting them to go rescue him. But those nearby didn’t believe her, as they hadn’t heard anything. They looked at Luo Lingyu with sympathy, suspecting the lady was hearing things from excessive worry.
The matter of Lu Yun had hit her too hard. The lady was truly pitiful.
But Luo Lingyu didn’t think so. She felt certain it was Lu Yun calling for help. Even if it wasn’t, she wouldn’t miss any chance.
The lady dragged people along, forcing them to follow her: “It must be Lu Yun… it must be Third Cousin, I wouldn’t mishear his voice, I wouldn’t fail to recognize his voice…”
Under Luo Lingyu’s insistence, seduced by her beauty, several soldiers reluctantly followed her in a direction to rescue people. To everyone’s surprise and shock, the lady knelt on the ground, digging through the snow with them. They hadn’t found anything, but the lady’s body suddenly trembled slightly as she called out: “It’s him, it’s him— Quick!”
Her voice suddenly became urgent, her calm expression suddenly changed.
Luo Lingyu and several others worked together to truly pull Lu Yun out from under the snow. Where they dug, there was a small hole with blood dripping on the snow tunnel, presumably left from Lu Yun’s self-rescue attempt. Others looked at the hole Lu Yun had dug and the blood under his nails. They all praised: “Did Commander Lu find the direction to dig upward? He actually thought to use blood to determine direction? As expected of the Commander.”
Luo Lingyu heard none of it.
She stared at Lu Yun’s closed eyes and frost-covered body. Her wet eyelashes blinked. Her lips lifted slightly, as if wanting to smile. However, the lady knelt dirty on the ground, her face showing an expression between crying and laughing. Luo Lingyu collapsed, throwing herself forward to tightly embrace his stiff body.
She buried her face in his neck, sobbing: “I knew it was you, I knew it was you… they said I heard wrong, but I knew it wasn’t… Brother Xuechen, wuu wuu wuu…”
…
“I hate you so much wuu wuu wuu!”
“What did you promise me! You clearly promised me—”
The young lord was held while being cried over. Her scalding tears fell into the crook of his neck. His ice-cold muscles had been frozen badly, but now trembled slightly. The fingers she gripped moved slightly. The lady froze for a moment, realizing the wrist of her lord that she was holding had moved. He turned his hand over, his ice-cold fingertips pressing against her wrist, gently rubbing.
Luo Lingyu bent down to see his eyelashes trembling as he slowly raised his gaze.
He was held in her arms, his face still covered in frost. The young lord’s eyes were dark and cold, weak as he gave her a smile—
“…I’m sorry… and, long time no see.”
…
Whether dream or not, real or false.
Truly, long time no see.
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