If Lu Yun goes to the border, Lu Yun will die, but the Southern country will be saved; if Lu Yun doesn’t go to the border, the Southern country will fall, and not only Lu Yun will die.
Either way led to death.
…
Startled awake from his dream at midnight, Lu Xian poured himself wine to drink, his heart heavy with worry.
The Southern country had good wine and tea, but Lu Xian wasn’t one to indulge in drinking. Tonight was the first time this refined scholar drank jar after jar of wine.
Ever since he started having dreams, no matter how he tried to change reality, Lu Yun either died pierced by countless arrows, died in battle, or died from the Southern country’s destruction. The war with the Northern country in the north seemed impossible to delay. Without Lu Xian’s interference, after the Southern country’s defeat in the northern war, Jianye city would still fall around this time next year. If this conflict couldn’t be resolved, the Southern country’s future was truly worrying.
Vaguely, Lu Xian guessed that his third brother Lu Yun faced a deadly fate at the age of twenty.
With about half a year left, the deadly fate was so difficult that even though Lu Xian had already changed many things in reality, it was hard to say if Lu Yun could survive the next half year.
Lu Xian felt anxious and sad: his third brother had lost his parents young, was brilliantly talented, and had someone he loved — how could he die at just twenty years old?
He had to find a way to save all this.
Yet the dreams told him that whether Lu Yun went to the border or not, he couldn’t escape this deadly fate. Lu Xian was now worried, not knowing what he should do.
…
Lu Xian wasn’t skilled at planning and acting.
He didn’t have that kind of strong, keen view of the big picture. Standing in the midst of it all, analyzing his dreams back and forth, he remained confused. He hadn’t even figured out why Lu Yun would lose the battle… In his dreams he only saw snow blocking the mountains, thick fog covering the sky, desolation everywhere. He only saw the war’s beginning, the war’s end, Lu Yun’s death, the Southern country’s victory. But he couldn’t see the cause and effect.
And without understanding cause and effect, he didn’t know what he could do.
But Lu Yun couldn’t wait for him. Lu Xian didn’t have much time to ponder his dreams — in three days, it would be time for Lu Yun to leave with the army. Lu Xian’s feelings were complex: Prince Hengyang had also told him he wanted to go to the border, and Lu Yun was going to the border too. Yet Liu Mu’s paperwork for going to the border still wasn’t complete, still held up by the Military Affairs Bureau, while Lu Yun’s was already done.
This showed that Lu Yun had been hiding this for a long time!
…His third brother was simply rushing to his death.
The night before Lu Yun’s departure, Lu Xian hesitated for a long time but still decided to give his third brother some advice. The Lu family elders had already said what needed to be said, and his third brother had been scolded for several days. This would be Lu Xian’s first time talking heart-to-heart with his third brother since learning of Lu Yun’s departure.
In Lu Yun’s courtyard, Lu Xian ran into Prince Chen Liu Shu.
The maids and servants were helping their young lord pack his military luggage under Jin Yue’s instructions. Miss Jin Yue leaned dejectedly against a courtyard pillar, staring at the shadows of the two young lords cast by the window. All the courtyard maids and servants followed her orders, yet she would occasionally wipe away tears, not even noticing when Lu Xian arrived.
Jin Yue was naturally sad — Lu Yun was leaving, and delicate maids like them naturally couldn’t accompany the army. If they went, wouldn’t that be laughable?
Although Lu Yun had grown up at the border when he was young, he had returned to Jianye at a very young age, followed by over ten years of privileged life as a noble young lord. He wouldn’t drink anything but fine tea, wouldn’t wear anything but silk…
With such a refined lifestyle suddenly changing, Jin Yue worried Lu Yun would suffer at the border.
He would also be looked down upon by those rough men in the army.
While Jin Yue was lost in worry, Lu Yun and Prince Chen came out of the room. Prince Chen lowered his eyes, his thick beautiful eyelashes and quiet voice making him appear as gentle as moonlight, showing neither mountain nor water.
Liu Shu put on his shoes at the door, speaking his final words to Lu Yun while descending the steps: “…I’ll do my best to look after affairs in Jianye. Xuechen, you take care too.”
Liu Shu had many words of concern to say, but he really stammered and didn’t want others to know. Catching sight of Lu Xian from the corner of his eye, Liu Shu spoke even less: “…Take care of yourself, nothing else matters.”
Such earnest words, because Liu Shu spoke slowly, always carried a hint of indifference. Lu Xian was no longer sure whether Lu Yun’s friendship with Prince Chen was good or bad, and could only temporarily not think too much about it. In Lu Xian’s view, if he didn’t know that his third brother and this Fifth Prince had deep feelings for each other, Liu Shu’s cold expression would make him appear completely detached and uncaring about his third brother.
But Liu Shu came personally, so he naturally cared about Lu Yun.
Regarding the words his friend wanted to say but couldn’t express, Lu Yun said: “Aman, you’re being so earnest, just like my mother.”
Liu Shu glanced at him slightly angrily.
Lu Yun dropped his smile, paused, then reached out to clasp hands with him, saying softly: “Don’t worry, I know my limits.”
Lu Xian thought: …What limits do you know? If you knew your limits would you still die? Troublesome brother, making him worry.
After seeing Prince Chen out of the courtyard, the rest of the way was led by maids. Lu Yun turned back and said to his dazed second brother in the courtyard: “Second Brother came to give instructions too, right? Come inside, you should be the last wave today. I hope Second Brother will be quick, I still need to prepare some things for tomorrow’s departure.”
His words carried mockery, making fun of Lu Xian’s hesitation and indecision, but Lu Xian didn’t laugh.
Lu Yun’s eyes flickered.
Lu Xian had already joined him inside the room. Lu Xian sat down heavy-hearted, not noticing his third brother leaning against the wall thoughtfully studying him. Lu Xian rubbed his face, suppressing the weight in his heart, putting on an appearance of pulling himself together, and began giving Lu Yun the usual advice. Lu Yun never sat down, continuously observing his second brother searchingly. Lu Xian’s instructions were all things everyone would say to someone traveling far from home, like staying warm, adding clothes, not rushing to the front when facing enemies…
Lu Yun felt warmth in his heart, thinking that although he had always felt his family bonds were thin, there were still people like Liu Shu and his second brother who cared about him, speaking of small matters. Small matters showed true feelings. In the Lu family, Lu Yun’s symbol more often represented “that brilliantly talented legitimate third son who thoroughly suppressed the family’s young lords” — true care was actually quite rare.
After finishing one section of talk, Lu Xian was silent for a long while, then casually asked: “There are mountains in Nanyang, right?”
Lu Yun had already studied the border region’s geography: “Mmm. Mount Funiu extends eight hundred li, Mount Tongbai three hundred li, the two connect, crossing the Huai River towards Nanyang.”
Lu Xian acted shocked and delighted: “There really are mountains? The master truly is a living Buddha, his predictions were right!”
Lu Yun expressionlessly watched his second brother’s exaggerated performance.
With his third brother being so uncooperative, Lu Xian felt slightly embarrassed. His third brother had extremely strong insight, and when Lu Yun didn’t speak, Lu Xian also realized he had overreacted. His face burning, Lu Xian tried to salvage his unreliable impression with his third brother: “Because I was worried about you, I specially asked a master at Jianchu Temple to divine your fate. The master said you have a deadly fate this year. The way to break it is to stay away from mountains, remember this well.”
Jianchu Temple was currently Jianye’s first Buddhist temple, its reputation no smaller than Kaishian Temple on Zhong Mountain where Lu Yun and Luo Lingyu had gone before.
Although it was strange that Lu Xian said he went to Jianchu Temple to ask a master to divine and tell fortunes, it was barely reasonable.
Lu Yun tilted his head, glancing at his second brother, saying teasingly: “Divination and fortune-telling? For me? What’s been happening lately, everyone’s either asking for talismans or divinations?”
Buddhism had come from India, and Buddhist disciples originally didn’t need to learn divination and fortune-telling; but when in Rome do as the Romans do — for the believers in the Southern and Northern countries, the Buddhist masters had all learned the good skill of asking heaven and telling fortunes.
Luo Lingyu was better, not believing too much, mostly just for peace of mind. But Lu Xian’s fervent behavior… in Lu Yun’s view, these monks were just there to deceive fools like his second brother.
Lu Xian grew anxious, his face darkening as he scolded: “Third Brother, don’t take this lightly! Better to believe it exists than not! The master said your fate clashes with mountains, telling you not to go near mountains. You should listen to me.”
Lu Yun’s expression remained calm.
After a long while, Lu Xian still wouldn’t change his words. Lu Yun sighed, saying languidly: “My name belongs to fire, and adding my birth time and eight characters, it shows my fate should be yin fire. Fire burning wet wood produces thick smoke without form, self-suppressing in the heart. Calm on the surface but turbulent within, breaking daily yet not broken. This fate cuts off emotions, if not weak in health then lacking in parent and child fate, and my parents died early, matching this hexagram exactly. My fate has many twists and difficulties, but power and wealth are ordinary things to me, and I should never lack in life.”
Lu Yun raised an eyebrow: “Second Brother, am I right?”
Lu Xian: “…”
Lu Xian was completely stunned, staring dumbfounded at Lu Yun. He had used the master as an excuse, naturally to persuade his third brother not to go near any mountains. Before Lu Xian could think of a better method, he could only consider the details. Although according to past experience, if one difficulty couldn’t be overcome, another would arise. But Lu Xian thought that in his dreams, Lu Yun met with disaster when heavy snow fell. Even in Nanyang, it was still several months before it would snow heavily… In these months, Lu Xian had time to figure out how to solve the problem.
He was just uneasy, hoping that by staying away from mountains, Lu Yun wouldn’t die.
Who knew Lu Yun would come out with such a long discourse!
Lu Xian only belatedly remembered — damn, he had forgotten that Lu Yun was a current famous scholar, very particular about mystical studies. Talking about fortune-telling in front of Lu Yun would just invite ridicule.
Lu Yun saw his second brother’s face turning from green to white, and he laughed softly. Standing at the wall by the door, under sparse starlight, the young man’s face in the shadows and light was illuminated half in darkness and half in light, his features deep-set. Lu Xian heard this troublemaker continue softly: “And the mountains Second Brother spoke of belong to earth. In the five elements, fire generates earth, how could there be any clash?”
Lu Xian said heavily: “Fire generates earth? Indeed, you certainly prospered others, but who will prosper you? I only care about how my brother fares, how the mountains are, whether good or bad, how would I care? Third Brother, you think I’m just talking about mountains?”
Lu Yun stilled, lowering his eyes: “…Ah, I was narrow-minded. Second Brother’s teaching is right.”
Lu Yun lowered his brows and immediately listened seriously to Lu Xian’s teaching.
But Lu Xian spoke increasingly strangely, not only instructing him to stay away from mountains, but also saying he clashed with water, telling him not to go out on snowy days in the North.
Lu Yun didn’t know whether to laugh or cry — clashing with earth, clashing with water, how had he lived all these years?
The young man lifted his eyelids, watching Lu Xian talk on and on, already speaking more and more elaborately: “…When you reach the border, whether you’re in Nanyang or elsewhere, you must write to me daily, telling me what you’re doing. Remember, it must be one letter every day, not missing a single day! If you miss one day, I’ll immediately come to the border to find you. Third Brother, you wouldn’t want me following behind you all the time, right?”
Lu Yun rubbed his nose, smiling sheepishly. In some sense, he was truly a bit afraid of this second brother of his.
Lu Yun argued for himself: “This daily letter writing, surely that’s not necessary…”
He walked over from the shadows, his steps leisurely, his robes flowing like clouds and cranes, how gracefully distinguished he appeared. Lu Xian looked up at him, about to patiently persuade him again, when he suddenly noticed something on Lu Yun, his expression slightly changing. Lu Yun followed Lu Xian’s gaze and looked down, seeing that Lu Xian was staring at a pouch visible among the jade pendants hanging at his waist.
Lu Xian’s voice trembled: “This pouch, this pouch… you’re wearing it now?! When did you start wearing it?”
He remembered clearly, in the dream, when Lu Yun died, he was holding this pouch. Cousin Luo’s face changed as soon as she saw this pouch… This feeling terrified Lu Xian, as if everything in reality would truly lead to that result in the dream.
Lu Yun thought for a moment, taking the pouch from his waist, saying: “What’s wrong with the pouch? This was given to me by Lingyu, she embroidered it herself.”
Lu Xian actually didn’t know the pouch’s secret.
He only remembered the few words Lu Yun had written in blood—
A thousand autumns return you one word, love unchanging as mountains.
Each word pierced the heart, like magnified death, mixed with wind and snow, striking his face, making Lu Xian’s expression anxious.
After a long while, barely organizing his emotions, Lu Xian finally said: “This pouch, you keep wearing it, there’s no problem…”
Lu Yun observed his second brother for a while, but didn’t believe Lu Xian’s words anymore. Lu Yun lowered his head, playing with the pouch in his hand, his fingertips touching every thread on it. He touched it for a while, his fingertips stopping on the fragrant orchids embroidered on the pouch, seeming to feel something. Lu Xian watched as his third brother thought for a moment, then opened the pouch.
Lu Yun took out some crumpled, folded yellow talisman paper from the pouch, but this wasn’t enough — Lu Yun directly turned the pouch over.
When the pouch was turned over, the other side of the double-sided embroidery that Luo Lingyu had hidden with her excellent needlework was revealed. It was a line of delicate small characters—
A thousand autumns ask you one word, may love be unchanging as mountains.
Lu Yun’s expression changed slightly, his eyes suddenly contracting, gripping the pouch tightly in his hand.
It was actually double-sided embroidery, with something hidden inside the pouch.
Lu Xian saw it too, his expression dazed: “…So that’s what it was.”
This ancient poem, he had seen Cousin Luo write it before. At that time he regretted that Cousin Luo wouldn’t tell Lu Yun her feelings, but it turned out… it turned out… Cousin Luo had spoken her mind at this time. She had embroidered a pouch for Lu Yun, hiding her heart in the pouch. But if Lu Yun didn’t examine this pouch, didn’t look carefully, he wouldn’t discover it.
Lu Yun was a normal man, he wouldn’t keep staring at a pouch continuously.
In the snowy mountains at that time, Lu Yun must have already discovered the lady’s feelings hidden in the pouch. At that time, Lu Yun must have played with this pouch daily, looking at it many times before discovering the pouch’s secret.
And in reality, thanks to Lu Xian’s strange gaze, Lu Yun had now discovered the words embroidered in the pouch.
Lu Xian said with slight joy: “…Third Brother, you will love her, right?”
Lu Yun slowly looked at his second brother: “Should I?”
Lu Xian: “…”
Half a year’s time, the love didn’t seem to have reached that depth… Lu Xian felt awkward, then uneasy – had he done more harm than good again? The “may love be unchanging as mountains” that should have deeply moved Lu Yun, now looking at it, Lu Yun’s emotions didn’t seem as turbulent as he had imagined?
But Lu Yun had drifted into thought.
He certainly didn’t love Luo Lingyu as deeply as when he died in Lu Xian’s dream, but when he saw Luo Lingyu’s true wish hidden in the pouch, he indeed began to lose focus, began to stop hearing Lu Xian’s words, began thinking about Luo Lingyu. Wondering what she was doing now, wondering if she liked him, to what degree she liked him, wondering what she was thinking while embroidering the pouch.
Thinking that he would leave tomorrow, yet hadn’t seen her.
Thinking about her “may love be unchanging as mountains,” whether he could live up to it…
Lu Yun clutched the pouch tightly in his hand, and under Lu Xian’s continued endless instructions, the young lord suddenly looked up, interrupting Lu Xian’s words: “I have something to do. Second Brother, my apologies.”
He turned to leave immediately.
Lu Xian immediately stood up, saying anxiously: “What are you going to do? I haven’t finished giving you instructions. The border is such a dangerous place, how can you not listen to me finish speaking? Third Brother, Third Brother… Lu Xuechen!”
Lu Xian hurriedly chased after Lu Yun out of the room, only to see his third brother’s robes flying like clouds and cranes, walking extremely fast. Outside the long windows, the evening breeze blew. Lu Xian’s socks stepped on the carpet outside the room as he hurriedly put on shoes, but Lu Yun had already walked past the courtyard’s glistening bamboo and banana leaves, casually waving his hand — “If Second Brother has any more instructions, just write them in a letter. I’ll read it when I return.”
Lu Xian: “…”
…
His third brother was clearly still at home.
He wanted to talk to his third brother, but had to write a letter?
What kind of behavior was this?
…
Lu Xian’s forehead veins trembled with anger at his brother, and he sent a servant to look from afar. The servant returned panting, reporting that Third Young Master had gone straight to the farthest courtyard. In that distant direction, it should be where Miss Luo Lingyu stayed.
Suddenly sad then happy, Lu Xian instantly stopped resenting his third brother.
Lu Xian’s lips curved in a faint smile as he leisurely returned to Lu Yun’s room, lifted his robes to sit by the window, and began writing a letter to his third brother — writing his long, mountain-like pile of instructions.
…
His heart turbulent, emotions like the sea!
Gripping the pouch in his hand, only wanting to see her immediately, talk to her immediately, ask her immediately!
Lu Yun reached Luo Lingyu’s courtyard, seeing maids sitting and playing in groups of two or three in the yard. The maids were startled to see Lu Yun suddenly arrive, all rising to welcome him. But before the maids could finish their greeting bows, Lu Yun, who couldn’t see them in his eyes, had already brushed past them, walking towards the closed doors of the building.
Lingyu and Lingxi from the courtyard rushed over: “Third Young Master, what are you doing?”
Lu Yun wouldn’t waste time with them. He moved like flowing clouds, seeing lights lit in the main building, meaning the owner wasn’t asleep. Lu Yun directly pulled open the door, his voice tense: “Lingyu…”
He only called two words before closing his mouth, his eyelids twitching slightly.
Because when he opened the door, he saw a group of beautiful young ladies. Some sitting, some standing, some playing drinking games, some composing poetry and appreciating things. When Lu Yun suddenly appeared in the doorway, his graceful and handsome figure immediately attracted all the ladies’ gazes. The ladies exclaimed with delight: “Third Cousin, you really came?!”
Lu Yun’s gaze swept over them, meeting the lady in a corner of the room. Luo Lingyu was kneeling on a small couch, with a row of porcelain bowls in front of her. The lady held chopsticks, with her sister Luo Yunhuan crouching beside her, propping up her cheeks. Clearly Miss Luo was about to play music with the chopsticks, with the visiting young ladies waiting to enjoy it, when Lu Yun appeared.
Luo Lingyu looked up, also slightly dazed.
Lu Yun: “…”
Lu Yun slowly said: “I’m leaving tomorrow, yet you’re here seeking pleasure?”
Luo Lingyu stood up with that slightly dazed, slightly embarrassed expression. Luo Lingyu’s gaze was a bit evasive, her cheeks bitten slightly, as she vaguely said: “No… how did Third Cousin really come?”
These words were a bit strange. Lu Yun looked at her again, asking: “What exactly are you all doing?”
Jiang Wanyi beside them had already said with a slightly strange, sour tone: “We’re holding a farewell feast for Third Cousin. Miss Luo is the host, and sent servants to find Third Cousin. We all said Third Cousin was busy with countless matters and never joins our feasts, surely wouldn’t come. We made a bet with Miss Luo. Unexpectedly we lost, Third Cousin really came.”
Jiang Wanyi held back for a long time but still couldn’t help adding sourly: “…Third Cousin is so good to Miss Luo.”
Lu Yun thought: …Is that so?
He looked at Luo Lingyu, wondering how he didn’t know he had been invited to any feast? Jin Yue shouldn’t be so bold as to hide it from him, right? Jin Yue should know that normally he would attend Luo Lingyu’s invitations. Yet now he knew nothing about it, and seeing Luo Lingyu’s guilty evasive gaze, Lu Yun naturally knew the problem lay with Luo Lingyu —
She had told the young ladies she invited him to the feast, but actually hadn’t invited him at all.
Just going through the motions, pretending she had already invited him.
Finally reaching a regretful consensus with the young ladies: everyone was equally unspecial to Lu Yun, Lu Yun wouldn’t give face to anyone.
Luo Lingyu’s outstanding beauty gave her natural advantages in interactions with young lords. But interacting with ladies required some careful thought. If she daily provoked others’ jealousy and hatred, it would do no good for her as a guest staying in someone else’s home. So she had completely different approaches when speaking with the young ladies versus with him.
Lu Yun lowered his eyes, realizing that now he could actually stand in her position and think for her.
He gripped the pouch in his hand again: …Was this “may love be unchanging as mountains”?
…If he truly loved, love would naturally be unchanging as mountains.
While Lu Yun was lost in thought, Luo Lingyu had already walked over. She was a bit embarrassed, yet didn’t want him to expose her pretense. She pleaded with her eyes for a moment, then with her back to the young ladies, she smiled gently and asked: “I didn’t expect I would really be able to invite Third Cousin. Third Cousin is so busy, yet willing to play with us?”
Luo Lingyu’s scalp tingled, her eyelashes trembling, her cheeks flushing red as she nervously waited. Her fingers in her sleeve kept twisting together.
She felt ashamed in her heart, thinking that she had let him catch her again.
What would Lu Yun think of her… While she was anxious, the young lord’s warm hand raised to brush her shoulder. The lady’s shoulders stiffened as the young lord’s breath brushed her cheeks. Hearing no reproach or disgust in Lu Yun’s tone, he said softly: “I came naturally to add to Cousin’s enjoyment. What was Cousin doing just now?”
Luo Lingyu was somewhat surprised: “…Playing music with chopsticks and singing.”
Lu Yun made an “oh” sound, saying slowly: “Then may I accompany with the xun flute?”
Luo Lingyu suddenly raised her head.
Their eyes met.
Feelings like water.
Endless tenderness.
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