ATLAS TRANSLATES

If only Mother wasn’t so deeply emotional!

This made things so difficult for her!

Dou Zhao sighed deeply.

Strange feelings suddenly welled up towards her mother.

It felt like heartache, pity, and also… envy!

The thought startled her greatly.

Feeling heartache for Mother’s situation and pity for her hardships was natural, but why did she feel envy?

What was she envying about Mother?

The deep love she once had? Or the uninhibited way she behaved in front of Father?

Dou Zhao felt confused and lost.

After seeing off Madam Wei and her son, she sat on the heated kang watching Hanxiao and Shuangzhi help Mother remove her hairpins and jewelry.

Father walked in.

His expression was troubled: “Guqiu, I have something important to tell you.”

Mother turned around, her slender fingers like spring onions twirling the gilded water grass pattern mirror handle with its bright red tassels, her gaze deep as she quietly looked at Father.

The serving maids and women silently withdrew.

Father half-squatted beside Mother: “Guqiu, Yingxue… she… she… is with child…”

Mother’s fingers suddenly stopped twirling the tassel.

Father hung his head: “…I can only discuss this with you… I know I’ve wronged you… but to act as if nothing happened, I… I really can’t do that…”

“How did you meet?” Mother asked Father softly, her tone calm, her fingers beginning to idly twirl the tassel again.

Father perked up and said: “When I arrived in the capital, naturally I had to visit Master Guanlan. It happened that Yingxue was there borrowing ginseng…”

He hurriedly explained, “I didn’t actually see her then. Since Master Guanlan treated me like a nephew, his household didn’t deliberately avoid me. I heard from his servants that Wang Xingyi’s daughter had come to see the madam, saying her nephew was ill and needed pure ginseng soup. She wanted help buying two hundred-year-old ginseng roots but didn’t have enough silver. You know such high-quality ginseng is rare. The madam tried everything and even added some of her own money, but could only get a fifty-year-old root. I thought of how Wang Xingyi and Fifth Brother were examination graduates together, how he was so principled, and how Lady Gao was so virtuous, yet they ended up in such a situation. I couldn’t help but feel sympathetic, so I had Gaosheng help buy two fifty-year-old roots to send to her. When she received the ginseng, she came specially to thank me…”

As Father spoke, his face gradually reddened, “I knew she earned money from the cotton trade, so I offered to introduce her to our household manager and helped her get some other medicines… She asked if I was married… I spoke carelessly and made a joke…”

His voice became as faint as a mosquito’s, “Because of her father’s situation, she and her brother often visited their father’s friends in the capital… She was very straightforward… told me about fun places in the capital… and we drank some wine together…”

Mother closed her eyes and took a deep breath. After a long while, she opened them and asked Father: “Did she never ask who you were?”

“No!” Father said softly, “How would I know about this relationship…”

Mother’s hand slammed on the mirror stand with a “bang,” her jade bracelets clashing together with a clear ring: “Pah! I don’t believe she didn’t know who you were! Within hundreds of li of Zhending Prefecture, who doesn’t live by the grace of the Dou family? Even if she didn’t recognize you, when you offered to introduce her to the household manager, couldn’t she guess who you were? She’d been visiting our family since she was little, how could she not know who I married? If she truly knew nothing about you, would she dare go to bed with you just for two ginseng roots and a promise? Wasn’t she afraid of meeting a scoundrel…”

“Guqiu, Guqiu!” Father cut off Mother’s words in shame, “She really didn’t know! She only realized afterwards… if she hadn’t become pregnant, she wouldn’t have come back to Zhending with me…”

“You don’t believe me?” Mother’s face darkened like storm clouds.

“I believe you, I believe you!” Father said repeatedly, “Regardless, she’s just a woman who encountered such a situation… In any case, this is entirely my fault. Won’t you help me?”

“You…” Mother bit her lip, the tassel she’d been twirling now pulled straight.

“Guqiu, Guqiu, don’t be angry!” Father said anxiously, “If this gets out, I really won’t be able to show my face… For the sake of our marriage, please help me through this difficulty! Guqiu, Guqiu…” He looked at Mother with pleading eyes.

“Fine!” Mother smiled, though the smile was bitter no matter how you looked at it, “Have Wang Yingxue sign a contract of servitude, and I’ll let her enter the household.”

“How can that be!” Father cried out in alarm, “How could you do this to the Wang family? You’re going too far! No, no!”

“Then what do you suggest?” Mother said flatly, her expression showing traces of exhaustion.

Father seemed awkward: “We can give more betrothal gifts, without requiring a dowry from the Wang family… I saw Feng Baoshan do this when he took a concubine… Feng Baoshan said it’s the same as buying a concubine, just made to look better with betrothal gifts… If there’s regret later, the gifts must be returned in full…”

“Isn’t that the same as when merchants take secondary wives?”

Father was stunned, and after a while mumbled: “How, how is it the same? You’ll live together, and everyone in the Dou family will know who is primary and who is secondary…”

“You’ve thought everything through!” Mother laughed, though the laughter didn’t reach her eyes, “Didn’t Father forbid you to leave? You should head back early! I’ll discuss this matter with Big Sister-in-law and the others.”

Father jumped up in joy, holding Mother’s hand: “Guqiu, does this mean you agree!” Like a child who finally got candy.

“I agree.” Mother’s lips curved upward as she held Father’s hand in return, lowering her head to gently kiss it, “Go back quickly! Be careful or Father will call you in for another lecture!”

Father beamed at Mother, tenderly stroking her temple: “Guqiu, you’re so good to me!”

Mother giggled, laughing until tears came out.

Father left happily.

Mother was still laughing, but her smile gradually became thin while her tears flowed more and more.

“Mother!” Dou Zhao threw herself into Mother’s arms.

Mother slowly stroked her head and said softly: “Wang Yingxue is calculating… Maybe not at first, but at least later she was… Shu girl, your father doesn’t believe my words, do you believe Mother?”

“I believe you, I believe you!” Dou Zhao nodded continuously, her eyes moist.

“But what use is your belief?” Mother laughed, tears hanging like morning dew on her flawless jade-like cheeks, “You little rascal, you don’t understand anything!” She affectionately pinched her little nose.

I know, I know!

I understand everything!

Dou Zhao couldn’t help but weep.

She wasn’t really a two-year-old child.

Since Father had revealed Wang Yingxue’s pregnancy, it was clear he had been forced into a corner and was making a final desperate move.

The “West Dou” branch had few descendants. This approach might give Wang Yingxue a reputation for improper relations, but if Mother insisted on not letting Wang Yingxue enter the household, it would cause the Dou family elders to criticize her and might even give her a reputation for being unvirtuous.

Moreover, this reputation for improper relations would only exist in the minds of the Dou family elders. For the sake of the family’s face, the Dou family would never speak of it outside, and would even strongly defend Wang Yingxue if they heard any rumors. What use was such infamy to Wang Yingxue?

Wang Yingxue had schemed to manipulate Father – something so obvious, yet Father, for all his intelligence, ignored it completely, showing his heart had already strayed.

With Wang Yingxue’s skilled manipulation, who knew what would happen once she entered the household? If Mother had to explain herself like this for every incident, what kind of life would that be?

To get Wang Yingxue into the household, Father first threatened Mother with divorce, then half-knelt beside her to beg…

How many more humiliations awaited her in the future!

The youth under the magnolia tree was the dream in Mother’s heart.

When the dream shattered, should one wake up or sink deeper?

Dou Zhao’s heart trembled.

So, Mother chose death!

She looked up at Mother in shock.

Mother smiled through her tears.

Her gaze pierced through layers of empty space, falling somewhere unknown.

“Shu girl, Mother is tired and needs to rest,” she murmured, “Go play with Nanny Yu!”

“Mother! Mother!” Dou Zhao hugged Mother’s legs, crying messily.

She would never leave Mother’s side again.

“Good child!” Mother kissed her cheeks, tears falling like ice on her neck, making her shiver, “No wonder Big Sister-in-law says you’re clever… truly, mother and child’s hearts are connected… only you know how bitter my heart is… but I really have no strength left… blame Mother for being useless… weak and incompetent… when Mother is gone, you still have Uncle…” she said tremblingly, “Perhaps this is better… what they owe Mother, they will repay to you… better than torturing each other daily until all affection is worn away… until we all become hideous to each other…”

“No, no…” Dou Zhao mumbled indistinctly, “As long as you’re alive, there’s hope, as long as you’re alive…”

Mother held her tightly, as if trying to embed her in her embrace. After a while, she gradually released her and called out loudly for “Nanny Yu.”

Dou Zhao wailed, screaming “Mother, don’t die, Mother, don’t die.”

Nanny Yu was stunned, then knelt crying at Mother’s knees: “You might as well take scissors and end my life cleanly first…”

“Nanny, Nanny…” Mother embraced Nanny Yu’s shoulders, “I really can’t hold on anymore… In front of Sister Tian, I still pretend we’re a loving couple… My heart bleeds…”

“A motherless child is like a blade of grass,” Nanny Yu held Dou Zhao, “If you leave, what will happen to Fourth Miss? Others, no matter how close, are separated by flesh and blood. The Old Madam left early, do you want Fourth Miss to be like you?”

“Mother, don’t go, I’ll be good!” Dou Zhao cried so hard she could barely breathe, “Don’t go…”

“Shu girl, Shu girl…” Mother was heartbroken.

The three of them cried until they were like teardrops themselves.

The lights in the Dou household lit up one after another.

Grandfather and Father were both alarmed.