Dou Zhao couldn’t tell if she was jealous or envious. Blood rushed to her chest, making her feel terribly uncomfortable. She feared that if she looked at her son one more time, she might do something she’d regret.
“Give the token to the young master,” she instructed Cui Leng. “Tell them that from now on, not just the young master’s quarters, but Second Master and Miss Yin’s quarters too will be managed by Madam Zhu.”
“Mother!” Wei’er looked up, sensing something unusual.
“My lady, you cannot!” Madam Zhu cried out shrilly, her face turning pale instantly.
She was indeed perceptive, this person she had chosen.
With her watching over the children, those evil schemes could be prevented.
Dou Zhao closed her eyes and waved her hand. “I’m tired and want to rest. All of you, leave!”
“My lady!” Madam Zhu kowtowed repeatedly to Dou Zhao, tears in her eyes.
Wei’er looked at Madam Zhu in confusion.
Dou Zhao waved her hand again and turned away.
“My lady, rest assured. Even if it costs me my life, I will take good care of the young master and miss,” Madam Zhu murmured, kowtowing once more before leaving with Wei’er.
The room fell silent, with a cold and lonely emptiness after everyone left.
Sorrow welled up in Dou Zhao’s heart.
If Wei Tingyu had been more capable and willing to shoulder a man’s responsibilities, would she, as a mere woman of the inner courtyard, have needed to manage the Wei household affairs? Would she have overlooked the changes in her two children?
If her mother-in-law had shown more concern for her two grandchildren instead of always seeking divine blessings, would the children have become so attached to Madam Zhu, someone with no blood relation to them?
Or perhaps she had chosen the wrong person altogether?
If Madam Zhu had been greedy, opportunistic, crude, or fond of gossip, her two sons wouldn’t have become so devoted to her.
But how could she have allowed such a person to stay by her sons’ side and teach them?
She didn’t even know who to blame!
At times like these, Dou Zhao would think of her mother who died early.
She was so young — how could her mother bear to leave her alone?
If her birth mother had lived to teach her how to be a wife and mother, wouldn’t she have suffered less, made fewer mistakes, and kept her children’s hearts close?
This question had no answer.
Dou Zhao felt exhaustion throughout her body.
She covered her head with the blanket, burying herself in complete silence.
In her hazy state, she heard intermittent crying. She tried to open her eyes to look, but her eyelids felt as heavy as thousand-pound weights. Then she heard Wei Tingyu softly crying by her ear, “What will I do without you?” Soon, the voice changed to Madam Guo’s, “Don’t worry, Wei’er is my grandson-in-law, I will keep him safe and sound.”
Am I dead?
Dou Zhao struggled to open her eyes and found herself sitting on a heated kang bed. Sunlight reflected off the snow in the courtyard, shining through the Korean paper windows, filling the room with brightness.
A pretty young woman with a red mole at the corner of her mouth sat across from her, playing cat’s cradle with her. Four or five maids between ten and fifteen years old sat around the kang doing needlework.
They all wore cotton jackets made of fine cloth and coarse cloth skirts, adorned with small silver wintersweet ornaments or silver hairpins. Their simple attire revealed the refined nature of young girls, making anyone who saw them smile with appreciation.
Dou Zhao didn’t recognize anyone in the room, yet felt a deep familiarity.
Back at her family home in Zhending County, their servants dressed exactly like this in winter.
So she had entered another dream.
Dou Zhao giggled and slid off the kang1, wanting to see what needlework the young maids were doing, but her feet couldn’t reach the ground and she ended up hanging off the edge.
The young maids suppressed their laughter.
The pretty young woman quickly helped her down, saying, “Fourth Miss, what do you want? Tell your wet nurse! I’ll get it for you.”
So this was her wet nurse!
Dou Zhao could barely contain her amusement.
Her previous wet nurse had been plump and white like a steamed bun, this time she was as delicate as a flower — what would she be like next time?
She ran pitter-patter towards the maids doing needlework, suddenly realizing she had become much smaller. The tables and chairs that had once seemed ordinary now appeared twice as tall.
Ha! This dream was remarkably detailed!
The maids doing needlework looked up and smiled kindly at her.
The older ones were making shoe soles, while the younger ones were making tassels, all showing skilled handiwork that came from regular practice.
A bone-chilling wind gusted in.
Dou Zhao looked up to see the warm curtain lifted as several maids escorted a woman inside.
Everyone in the room stood up to bow to the woman, addressing her as “Seventh Madam.”
Dou Zhao stared at her blankly.
She was only eighteen or nineteen, of medium height and slender build, with an oval face, willow-leaf eyebrows, and cherry-like lips. She wore a peach-red jacket with hidden vase patterns that highlighted her snow-white skin, making her more beautiful than flowers.
This was her mother!
She didn’t look anything like her mother.
She was tall and curvy, with an oval face, long eyebrows extending to her temples, full red lips, and snow-white skin. When she looked at people, her slightly sharp eyes gave off a forceful air, making her look exactly like her father. When she first married into the Jining Marquis’s household, she had trimmed her long eyebrows into willow-leaf shapes and kept her eyes lowered when speaking to appear more gentle, managing to capture three-tenths of her mother’s delicate beauty.
Mother walked over with a bright smile.
She could see her even more clearly now.
Mother’s face was pure and crystalline like fine jade, without a single flaw, absolutely beautiful.
She bent down to touch Dou Zhao’s nose teasingly, saying, “Shou Gu, what’s wrong? Don’t you recognize your mother?”
Shou Gu?
Was that her childhood name?
She had never known she had such a name.
Tears came suddenly.
She hugged her mother’s legs messily.
“Mother, mother!”
She cried like a helpless child.
“Oh my!” Mother hadn’t sensed her sadness at all and asked the wet nurse with a smile, “What’s wrong with Shou Gu? Why is she crying for no reason?” She showed no doubt or blame toward the wet nurse, clearly trusting her completely.
“She was fine just now,” the wet nurse was also puzzled and could only say, “Perhaps it’s because she saw you? Daughters often cry when they see their mothers, whether there’s a reason or not.”
“Is that so?” Mother lifted her onto the heated kang, “This child has soaked my skirt with tears.”
Dou Zhao froze.
Shouldn’t mother be most concerned about why her child was crying? How could she be more worried about her skirt…
Was she, was she really her mother?
She stared with wide eyes.
Crystal tears still hung on her small face.
Mother laughed and took out a handkerchief to wipe her tears, saying to the wet nurse, “This silly child!” Then she hugged her gently, kissed her little face, and said, “Your father is coming back soon, are you happy?” Her eyes and brows were filled with irrepressible joy.
Dou Zhao let out an “Ah!” and was about to jump up.
How could she have forgotten such an important matter!
She didn’t know the details of what had happened between her parents back then. But according to Tao Niang, her father had met her stepmother while attending the provincial examinations in the capital.
Poor mother knew nothing about it. When father wrote saying he wanted to tour the capital for a while, she didn’t suspect anything and just waited eagerly at home every day.
She even worried that father might not have enough money to spend and thought about secretly sending her personal servant Yu Daqing to bring him some silver. Later, somehow grandfather found out and scolded her severely, so she gave up the idea.
The provincial examinations were in August, and now snow was falling outside, so it must be deep winter. Father hadn’t returned yet, but with grandfather still alive, he couldn’t spend New Year away from home. This meant there was still time to warn mother.
But mother held Dou Zhao tightly, and after several attempts to stand up, she still couldn’t manage it. Anxious, she called out “Mother” loudly.
“What’s wrong with Shou Gu today?” Mother was puzzled by her daughter’s unusual behavior and looked sternly at the wet nurse.
The wet nurse became somewhat nervous: “I stayed with Fourth Miss until Chen hour before getting up, she had a bowl of millet porridge, one meat bun, one twisted roll…”
“Didn’t I say to give Shou Gu a cup of warm water first thing every morning?” Mother interrupted the wet nurse’s words sternly, “Did you give her water this morning?”
“Yes, yes!” The wet nurse hurriedly replied, no longer relaxed, “As you instructed, I first warmed the cup with a blanket, helped Fourth Miss put on an underjacket, and then served her warm water…”
Oh my! Why talk about these things now?
She had lived with grandmother on their rural estate until she was twelve, catching fish with the farmworkers’ children in summer and drinking water straight from the stream when thirsty, hunting sparrows in the mountains in winter and roasting them when hungry, and she had still grown up just fine.
Dou Zhao shook her mother: “Mother…” wanting to tell her “Father is bringing a woman back,” but as soon as she opened her mouth, it felt like something was blocking her throat, and what should have been a clear sentence became just mumbled words “Father… woman…”
Seeing Dou Zhao speak, mother turned back, smiling at her patiently, “Shou Gu, what do you want to say?”
“Mother,” Dou Zhao said with difficulty, “Father… woman…” This time the words were clearer, but still not complete.
She was so anxious she began to sweat.
Mother beamed with joy, completely ignoring the word “woman,” and said happily: “So our Shou Gu misses father too! Gaosheng sent word that your father will be back in these few days, and he’s bought lots of New Year firecrackers, lanterns, and incense. These are firecrackers from the capital! They can burst into thousands of colors — not just Zhending County, but even Zhending Prefecture doesn’t sell such things…”
Who cares about firecrackers at a time like this!
Dou Zhao was extremely anxious and simply kept repeating “Father” and “woman.”
Mother’s expression gradually became serious, and she said solemnly: “Shou Gu, what are you trying to say?”
Dou Zhao felt relieved and took a deep breath, saying word by word: “Fa-ther-is-bring-ing-a-wo-man-back…”
Though childish, her voice was clear and loud.
As if slapped across the face, mother’s expression showed shock, doubt, and bewilderment.
The wet nurse and maids looked at each other, their expressions alarmed.
The room fell deadly silent.
The warm curtain was suddenly flung aside as a little maid with three buns in her hair ran in breathlessly: “Seventh Madam, Seventh Master is back, Seventh Master has returned from the capital…”
“Really!” Mother’s face immediately lit up with joy, and she lifted her skirts to run out. After a few steps, she stopped, thought for a moment, turned back to pick up Dou Zhao, “Let’s go welcome father together!”
It seemed mother had grown suspicious.
Dou Zhao felt relieved, hugged her mother’s neck, and responded loudly “Okay.”
- A ‘kang‘ is a traditional heated brick bed or platform commonly found in northern China and some parts of Northeast Asia – used for sleeping and as a heating system in colder climates. ↩︎
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