ATLAS TRANSLATES

The air fell into a lengthy silence. Jing Yi felt as if he’d plunged into an ice cellar, yet when she tried to leave, he reflexively grabbed her hand.

He stood up abruptly, his body unsteady. His chin rested in the hollow of her neck, his chest pressed tight against her back, and the hand across her waist seemed intent on pulling her into his embrace.

“I’m sorry… don’t go.”

He dared not look again into her cold eyes. His thick black hair nuzzled against her in a pleading, beseeching manner. Shu He closed her eyes briefly and turned her head slightly away. The breath on her neck seemed to halt for a moment.

“Is ‘sorry’ all you know how to say?”

In that instant, the hand wrapped tightly around her waist seemed to grip her heart as well, making it hard to breathe.

His nose stung with emotion as he buried himself in the hollow of her neck, greedy yet hurt. His voice trembled, “Don’t treat me like this… don’t find someone else.”

The taut string in her heart suddenly snapped. She turned and bit down with almost all her strength, as if wanting to vent all her resentment and unwillingness upon him. There was even the taste of blood between her lips and teeth, yet he endured it silently.

Looking at the deep red teeth marks on his skin, she felt no satisfaction from her revenge. The wound seemed to come back to bite her instead. Since their reunion, this was her first emotional breakdown.

“Besides my parents, you also left me behind.”

“I truly hate you.”

Jing Yi was shoved away by her. His tall body lost its support, yet he instinctively stumbled forward and grabbed her hand—

“Slap.”

His left cheek turned slightly. The stinging pain in her palm made Shu He suddenly realise what she’d done.

It felt like falling from a great height into a bottomless pit. The sensation of weightlessness resonated with the crisp sound, as if the slap had landed on her own face too.

She couldn’t believe it. She had hit him just like that man had.

Yet this feeling of being trapped alone was now completely out of control. She knew nothing. She wanted to reach out to him, but he avoided her touch.

She couldn’t even know one truth, yet she still lost her rationality because of him, and because of him, she did something she’d never done before.

The sudden emotion made her body tremble uncontrollably. Yet the person before her mutely grabbed her hand, his reddened cheek carefully pressing against her palm. At the corner of his lips, the wound from Jing Zeliang’s blow seemed to tear at her as well.

The man’s wet, long eyelashes trembled, and tears like broken pearls burned into her skin.

He cried silently. Shu He felt as if she were drowning in an endless abyss, her body drained of strength. The heart he had once protected so well now held only disappointment.

“You were the one who pushed me away, and you’re the one stopping me from moving forward.”

Her voice trembled badly, but the hand holding hers suddenly tightened.

“What right do you have? Jing Yi, tell me what right?”

In the quiet room, his dry lips moved. Tears slid down the corners of his eyes. He looked blankly at the tears in her clear eyes and slowly raised his hand. His fingertips instantly became wet, and his shattered heart belatedly felt the pain.

He tried desperately to piece it back together, but it was broken into too many fragments.

Sharp pieces were scattered throughout every part of his body. Each piece he picked up brought bloody pain flowing down.

“I’ll tell you.”

He spoke with extreme difficulty, his dry lips moving, his voice hoarse as if fallen into dust: “Don’t cry… I’ll tell you.”

“I’ll tell you everything.”

—

“Remember, from now on, you are Jing Lin.”

“You are not Jing Yi.”

“Only Jing Lin deserves everything.”

He closed his eyes tightly. When he opened them again, he looked at the person before him and suddenly curved his lips: “Actually, I’m not Jing Yi.”

“My real name,” he paused as if finding it difficult, his pitch-black eyes seeming to fall into emptiness, “is Jing Lin.”

Jing Zeliang and Ren Yinyue had a love marriage. One was a famous professor at Qingyu University, the other a renowned pianist.

At the time, people sighed, saying that a child born to loving parents in such a privileged family would surely have a happy future.

But no one knew that Ren Yinyue was an almost pathologically “perfectionist.”

At first, her perfectionism was directed only at herself. Her harshness toward herself was something even Jing Yi’s grandfather found difficult to watch.

She could lock herself away for three days without food or water just because she hadn’t mastered a piece of music, until she had thoroughly worked it out.

Ren Yinyue couldn’t accept being ordinary. She had to excel at everything. She was extremely obsessive and couldn’t tolerate any of her possessions being imperfect.

Jing Zeliang was her carefully selected first possession.

He didn’t mind her obsessiveness or perfectionism because Jing Zeliang truly loved her and was even willing to accept her “training.”

Until they had a child, her second possession arrived.

From birth, Jing Lin had everything planned out for him by her—what he should do and what he shouldn’t do.

Her perfectionism caged him like a giant prison. While other children played, he studied day and night. Ren Yinyue was very strict. If he didn’t practice the piano well or achieve the effect she wanted, Jing Lin would be confined or beaten.

Later, he had no bedroom, only a confinement room.

Even his daily diet was controlled by her. Not even one extra spoonful was allowed.

From childhood to adulthood, he had no friends, like a soulless puppet following her words.

He had rebelled, but was confined for a week.

The family’s nanny, feeling sorry for him, secretly brought him things, but when Ren Yinyue found out, she fired her.

When Jing Lin learned of this, guilt nearly drowned him.

Ren Yinyue simply told him: “People who don’t follow rules have no reason to stay.”

Seeing his tears, the woman didn’t soften: “Tears are the most useless thing in the world. If you can’t stop crying, stay locked up until you admit your mistake.”

Jing Lin didn’t even have the right to cry.

They said he should be content, should be obedient, because Ren Yinyue was doing what was best for him. When he grew up, he would have everything, and then he would know that becoming someone others admired was worth it all.

He calmly finished telling everything, and as Shu He felt the absurdity, she softly asked her guess: “Did we break up because of your parents too?”

His eyelashes lowered slightly. After a long silence, he finally gave a low “mm” of agreement.

As Jing Lin was Ren Yinyue’s perfect creation, his partner naturally had to be perfect too, and had to be chosen by her.

When Jing Zeliang went on a business trip to Litang, he had already warned him.

But he still harboured vain hopes, until Ren Yinyue came personally.

If he didn’t go with her, Ren Yinyue would find Shu He.

He dared not imagine what harsh and inhuman words she might say to her, given Ren Yinyue’s temperament.

He dared not imagine how she would react when she knew everything, knew what kind of puppet he was—whether she would be afraid or disgusted.

He was taken back and confined.

He didn’t know how long he was locked up. In the pitch-dark room, he couldn’t contact the outside world. No matter how he begged, Ren Yinyue wouldn’t let him out.

After being confined for over a month, Ren Yinyue took him to a banquet.

He sneaked out, but was eventually caught and brought back by the bodyguards.

Jing Zeliang struck him to the ground with one slap. He spat out a mouthful of blood, staggered to his feet, his voice terribly hoarse: “If I could, I wouldn’t want to be your son.”

“Jing Lin!”

“I am not—”

“Slap!”

This slap was even harder than before. He felt dizzy, the wound at the corner of his lips threatening to tear him apart. He lowered his brows and eyes, pleading softly: “Dad, Mum, please let me go.”

“I beg you.”

Ren Yinyue merely stepped forward. She raised her hand and gently caressed his reddened cheek, her gentle eyes seemingly filled with a calm obsession: “Xiao Lin, you’re my son. Why would I let you go?”

He closed his eyes and said weakly: “I’m not your puppet.”

Ren Yinyue seemed deaf to his words. “You want to see that girl, right?”

Jing Yi’s breath halted. Just as he thought there might still be a chance, she smiled slightly: “You’ve already broken up. Why go back?”

His expression instantly froze, his heart plummeting as he seemed to guess something: “What did you do?”

His pupils contracted as he anxiously shook off her hand. “What exactly did you do?! Where’s my phone?”

“The phone has been thrown away.” Jing Zeliang looked at him quietly, his black eyes without a trace of a smile. “I think she must have received your breakup message.”

Jing Yi was on the verge of emotional collapse, his entire body trembling. He looked at the two people before him in disbelief, no longer able to contain his hysteria: “Why are you doing this?! Why are you forcing me like this?!”

But Ren Yinyue and Jing Zeliang just looked at him calmly, their eyes filled with endless disappointment, as if he were a disobedient child.

Before he was locked up again, Ren Yinyue looked at the scar at the corner of his lips and murmured: “There can’t be scars.”

Just because of one wound, Ren Yinyue wanted to take him for plastic surgery.

He couldn’t accept changing his appearance. He had lost everything, and if he was taken for surgery… he didn’t know if Shu He would still remember him.

So he compromised. He said he would be good.

He didn’t know how long he was locked up again until Ren Yinyue and Jing Zeliang had to attend an event out of town, and he took the opportunity to escape.

He returned to Litang and saw her.

But in the blink of an eye, Ren Yinyue’s cold gaze from the car seemed to capture him in a giant net once more.

It seemed no matter where he went, she could find him.

On the way back with Ren Yinyue, they argued.

His disobedience, his rebellion, made Ren Yinyue lose all reason. She suddenly became that almost insane figure from years ago, hysterically berating him. She even unbuckled her seatbelt and lunged forward, grabbing the steering wheel directly.

Jing Yi kept trying to calm her down, but Ren Yinyue’s emotions were out of control. In the chaos, the black sedan lost control and crashed into the roadside barrier, even though he had already tried to brake hard—

A harsh noise struck his limbs as the car spun and rolled down. The smell of blood and ringing in their ears instantly consumed their consciousness.

When Jing Yi regained consciousness, he lay immobile in a hospital bed.

Ren Yinyue had died in the accident.

Everyone blamed him for being disobedient and not listening.

They said it would have been better if he had died in the accident.

Just as years ago, it would have been better if it was him who had died.

He described everything lightly, and after a long silence in the air, he suddenly curved his lips and smiled at her: “Sister, do you also think…”

“I’m very naughty, right?”

Shu He’s heart skipped a beat, as if someone had grabbed her throat, leaving her speechless.

Seeing her say nothing, the curve of his lips gradually straightened, and his heart sank inch by inch.

When he decided to tell her everything, he had prepared himself for her disgust.

“I—”

“No.”

Shu He interrupted him. He stiffly raised his eyes, his black pupils now lusterless, looking at her in confusion and bewilderment.

As if he didn’t believe what he’d heard.

As if he didn’t believe anyone wouldn’t blame him.

“Are you… pitying me?”

Shu He’s throat felt raw. She shook her head and repeated: “No.”

Then what reason did she have not to dislike him?

He stiffly tugged at his lips, trying to appear relaxed: “Then you—”

“Stop smiling.”

She softly interrupted him, struggling to control her emotions: “Your smile doesn’t look good at all. Stop smiling.”

Under the cold white light, his forced smile gradually faded. His lips pressed into a line. The red mark on his right cheek still hadn’t subsided. He simply lowered his eyelashes quietly, as if waiting for her final judgment.

Shu He’s indignation seemed doused by cold water. She took a deep breath, but her voice still held a tremor she couldn’t suppress. “Does it hurt?”

He didn’t raise his head, so she reached out and carefully stroked his cheek.

“Did it hurt when they hit you?”

He almost instinctively pressed against her palm, his wet, red eyes instantly clouded with mist. Tears fell without warning, as if seeping into her skin.

“When you were confined, was it painful?”

“When you had the accident, did it hurt?”

“When I hit you just now… did it hurt?”

He closed his eyes, like a wounded small animal, obediently pressing against her palm. Tears flowed endlessly. He tried to suppress the broken sobs in his throat, but even his dry lips trembled uncontrollably: “It hurt.”

“Sister… it really hurt.”

Shu He had always believed one thing: there’s no such thing as feeling another’s pain.

But now, her vision blurred with wet mist. Her heart felt as if it were being dully hammered, easily splitting open a crack. Something seemed to soften completely.

“Then, why did he hit you today?”

She struggled to steady her voice. His wet eyelashes trembled, and his voice was low and hollow: “Jing Lin… isn’t allowed to have curly hair.”

In that moment, Shu He’s controlled emotions collapsed completely. He continued muttering: “Someone like me can’t and doesn’t deserve to be with the person I like.”

Ren Yinyue was dead, but he remained forever trapped.

Shu He took a long time to compose herself, but her throat felt stuffed with cotton. She swallowed the sourness and made her voice as calm as possible: “So you think I’d blame you like they did, right?”

He stiffly paused for two seconds, nodded, then shook his head.

“Jing Yi.”

She cupped his face with both hands, making him look at her: “Now I’m telling you, I won’t.”

The belated answer made his red eyes fill with tears, wet and bewildered like a pitiful puppy. Shu He gently wiped his thin, red eyelids. “Our Jing Yi has been through so much alone. It must have been exhausting and unfair, right?”

In an instant, his tears fell drop by drop.

He held her hand, closed his eyes, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he managed a trembling “mm.”

“I never, ever wanted to break up with you.”

“I know.”

“But I still left you.”

Shu He leaned forward and hugged him, gently patting his back and stroking his black hair.

“I don’t want… to be Jing Lin either.”

He closed his eyes and embraced her, tears falling onto the hollow of her neck, his warm breath spilling out as he choked softly: “I thought you wouldn’t feel sorry for me.”

Shu He felt she could hardly breathe, yet still held him and comforted him as she once did: “Didn’t you say it yourself? Let me care for you more.”

“I’ve always remembered that.”

—

After returning to her room, Shu He stared at her hand for a long time.

The stinging in her palm seemed permanently branded on her skin, spreading hot and fierce, refusing to fade.

Until her eyelids ached with dryness, she curled her hand. But whenever she closed her eyes, she saw his face after she had slapped him.

She had thought she felt only resentment and unwillingness toward him.

Even if she learned the truth, she thought she would only hate.

But after he told her everything, she discovered it wasn’t so.

She simply couldn’t control her emotions.

She had always thought herself a cold-hearted person, but his grievances, his tears, so easily shattered her cold facade, revealing a heart full of wounds that still beat for him, still ached for him.

—

Shu He had originally planned to talk properly with him the next day. Some things only seemed wrong after she calmed down.

But when she knocked on the studio door, there was no response.

This time the door wasn’t locked. She pushed it open to find the room completely empty.

Jing Yi had disappeared again.