Xu Miyu hid behind the downpour, letting tears stream down her face, letting them mingle with the rainwater raging across her face.
She looked up at Ji Feng and asked him, “But I don’t know how to be tough. No one has ever taught me what I should do. They are my family. I wanted attention and recognition from them. Is that wrong too? Is that hateful too?”
Ji Feng looked up at her, the corners of his lips quirked in a mocking smile.
“So what? In order to get their attention and recognition, do you have to continue catering to their unreasonable demands without principle or backbone?” His words pierced the air.
“You’re not seeking recognition here, you’re setting yourself up for misery! You think you’re nobly sacrificing, but actually it’s just self-inflicted torment!”
Xu Miyu was left reeling from this barrage.
Hard truths were always so difficult to hear. But it was also only such hard truths that could jolt one awake.
“But they are my family…” Xu Miyu instinctively mumbled in repetition.
This ingrained mindset had taken deep root within her. Because they were her parents, because she was tied to them by blood, she would always feel attached to them and harbor hopes from them. So no matter how excessive their demands were, she would always be helpless against them.
“Is a rotten family like this really worth remaining attached to? Why not decisively severe ties? Still hoping to receive affection from them? Still dreaming impossible dreams?” His voice was harsh. “If you remain so muddled, don’t expect there to ever be good days for you in life. If you can’t think straight yourself, then no matter how bitter things get, you deserve to bear it all.”
Xu Miyu was rendered motionless under Ji Feng’s relentless questioning.
She had never contemplated this possibility before – severing ties with her family. She had lived with them since young. Although she harbored resentment and grievance over everything that happened, she also felt as if such a state was normal and only to be expected.
Previously, Nie Yucheng had described her situation with a term to her before, saying she was being psychologically manipulated (PUA) by her family. Back then she hadn’t really understood what it meant.
Now she seemed to comprehend some of it. Over the long term, under her parents’ matter-of-course brainwashing, she had unresistingly accepted their unfair treatment of her.
To acknowledge she was love deprived – it turned out to be so easy after all. To acknowledge she could not obtain genuine care and affection from her parents, to stop lying to herself that as long as she was just that little more obedient and useful, her parents would eventually love her — it really wasn’t that hard either. All it took was for her heart to ache a little more, for her to despair a little more, and feel the ridiculousness and futility of the years she had lived through.
After she had allowed these emotions to fully vent through her senses, all that remained was a version of herself rising phoenix-like from the ashes.
Xu Miyu cried bitterly for a night. When she awoke early next morning, she calmly told herself: starting from today, she would truly live for herself.
She no longer wanted to wrong and shortchange herself, fawning upon others just to gain conditional validation shaped by her deprived upbringing. She didn’t want to unconditionally accede to her mother’s greedy, unreasonable demands any longer or desperately seek to please just to earn meager compliments that came at the cost of compromising her very self.
From this moment forth, she was determined to live her life with dignity.
Previously, her yearning for familial attention had almost become an article of faith that drove her. Now, she was going to completely step away from clinging to that belief. She knew throwing off the shackles of deep-seated beliefs required courage and determination; their collapse would leave her lost and disorientated initially but it would also gift her bravery.
She patiently reminded herself that with the dissolution of toxic beliefs, she could establish new, better beliefs in their place so she wouldn’t feel lost or directionless or end up wallowing in distress over the void left behind.
As she lifted her head to gaze at the golden sunrise on her way to work, she found her new article of faith — to wholeheartedly devote herself to work. From now on, she wanted to strive to build up a good track record through work.
Gradually, she realized this new belief was much superior to her previous desire for familial attention. Because this was a belief that could give her returns, a belief backed by hope. As long as she put in effort, this belief would reward her with tangible work results that she could see and feel.
Not like in the past where the more desperate she was for her family’s attention and approval, the more she received parasitism and dissatisfaction in return. She reckoned this should illustrate the difference between positive beliefs and negative beliefs.
One gifted people hope while the other mired them in quagmires.
She was thankful she now had the chance to lucidly abandon her negative beliefs and cease clinging onto hopes of gaining attention and validation from her dysfunctional family. She wanted to thank Ji Feng for yelling some sense into her and giving her courage to bid farewell to those stale, toxic old beliefs.
A few days later, Xue Rui met up with Xu Miyu at the hotel lobby cafe again. He passed her a new bank card and informed Xu Miyu, “The previous card has been cancelled. The 200k inside has been transferred into this new card. Please keep this card safe, Ms. Xu.”
This time, Xu Miyu insisted on rejecting it no matter what.
Xue Rui was very troubled. “Ms. Xu, it’ll put me in a difficult spot if you don’t accept this.”
Xu Miyu just smiled. “But by taking this, it is I who will be put in a difficult spot. If Mr. Ji really finds himself with too much money on hand, he might as well just donate it away instead of giving it to me.”
Seeing Xu Miyu’s attitude resolute, with Xue Rui confirming she definitely would not accept the card this time, he could only ask her, “Then…may I go ahead and donate away the money inside like you suggested?”
Xu Miyu nodded, even specifying for him the cause to direct the money to. “If possible, please donate it to aid girls in need living in rural villages. There are still many girls living under similar circumstances as I was back then, raised in families practicing son preference where daughters get neglected, unable to study or even seek medical treatment when ill. I sincerely hope donations can help them lead healthier lives and get the chance to complete their education.”
Now that she thought about it, those 200k were truly mystifying in nature. It had been the last straw weighing down upon her in her parental relationships; all for that 200k, Jiao Xiumei could disregard Xu Miyu’s life and death and only fixate obsessively on snatching it for her own greedy desires. Then when she assumed something had gone wrong, she could push all blame onto Xu Miyu, pinning her with theft charges while abandoning Xu Miyu alone to bear the legal consequences.
That 200k had also become the opportunity catalyst for her to find new life and determination after consciously deciding to break away from her dysfunctional household. Going through the ups and downs connected to that 200k amount, she finally hardened her heart towards Jiao Xiumei. She was resolved to stop seeking emotional sustenance and a sense of being from the quagmire that was her household.
Currently, to her, that 200k held significance and meaning far surpassing the actual numerical amount. She hoped it could become the catalyst opportunity bringing other girls who found themselves in similar plights as she once did the chance to rediscover life anew as well.
She hoped the value of this 200k amount would extend much farther than simply its monetary amount.
Xue Rui gazed at Xu Miyu, slowly shaking his head with a sigh. He didn’t know if it was lament or approbation within that sigh. But in the end, he gave her a friendly smile full of amicability.
After Xu Miyu steeled her resolution to make a clean break from Jiao Xiumei, she went ahead to block all forms of contact Jiao Xiumei had with her.
Yet unblocking Xu Miyu did not deter Jiao Xiumei; she simply went the extra mile to dig up the hotel front desk number and used that to locate Xu Miyu instead.
The first time the front desk called Xu Miyu down to take a call that turned out to be from Jiao Xiumei, she received a barrage of curses over the line from Jiao Xiumei.
Jiao Xiumei labelled her an unfilial wretch with the heart of a wolf and the guts of a dog. She cursed her for her white-eyed wolf ways, for being lower than pigs and dogs by refusing to even take her own birth mother’s calls now. Still she demanded another 200k from Xu Miyu, otherwise she would be marked as an ungrateful black-hearted spawn seeking to doom the Xu ancestral line.
Listening to these maledictions, Xu Miyu could only feel distress and numbness in her heart as she thought to herself — what kind of parent who loved their children would speak to them in this manner? It merely proved that she had seen the truth from the start: she was never regarded as any daughter by them. In their son-preference household she was merely moulded into a tool, conditioned to assist her younger brother. Not just her, but her two elder sisters had been treated the same way as well.
She gave a bitter laugh at herself for failing to recognize this fact early on. Still, she also felt a sense of gratification at herself for not getting successfully manipulated by Jiao Xiumei this time. Even under a shower of humiliating vitriol, she kept her composure and did not cave in. She steadfastly informed Jiao Xiumei: “I have no money and will not be able to offer you another cent in the future. Whether the Xu line continues or dies out has nothing to do with me anymore. Don’t bother contacting me again in future because it’s pointless. You never once treated your daughters as children should be treated. From today forth, I will also no longer need parents who behave as you do. Let’s walk our own paths separately from now on.”
With that said, she directly ended the call.
But Jiao Xiumei proving herself an expert, directly searched and found the hotel front desk number since Xu Miyu refused to pick up her calls and texts. She called in through the front desk switchboard operators requesting to speak with Xu Miyu.
Xu Miyu entreated the front desk ladies to help her fend excuses that she wasn’t around.
There happened to be a front desk lady named Lu Xiaoyan who was close gossip buddies with Ke Wenxue.
News of Xu Miyu’s son-preference birth mother calling in again and again demanding the front desk connect her to Xu Miyu just so she could coerce Xu Miyu into providing money for her precious son quickly spread through Lu Xiaoyan’s grapevine to Ke Wenxue, then from Ke Wenxue it disseminated through the entire floor.
Yet this time, no one poked fun or ostracized Xu Miyu because of it. Instead they sympathized with her plight and some even offered suggestions to egg her on in her stance against her son-preference parental household.
“Sis Xiaoyu, to be blunt, you should have severed ties ages ago with this kind of family dynamic! Son-preference families are the ones most prone to manipulating their daughters, raising them to become timid without confidence. The best outcome is if they remain obedient lifetime money trees for their brother to keep exploiting!”
“That’s right Sis Xiaoyu. This kind of family truly isn’t worth remaining entangled with. Girls who grow up under these conditions find it far too easy to be deceived by men. Because they’ve lacked love since young, the moment someone treats them a little better, says a few words of praise, they’re only too willing to devote their all to that person even unto death!”
“Sis Xiaoyu, we can truly empathize with your plight now. It makes complete sense why you’re always so happy to receive external validation from us. It stems from emotional deprivation since childhood. Yet we still took advantage of that weakness to ridicule and poke fun at you previously – in hindsight our past actions were really not right. Rest assured, this time everyone here will be your strongest backing. If your mother causes trouble for you again, we’ll all stand up for you!”
Listening to their mixed chorus of consolation and suggestions, Xu Miyu felt an unprecedented warmth blossom in her heart.
So this was what receiving care and concern from others should feel like.
Her colleagues had rightly predicted that Jiao Xiumei would soon kick up another storm in person at the hotel again.
Furious over Xu Miyu’s refusal to answer her calls plus open declaration she wanted a clean severance between them, Jiao Xiumei charged into the hotel all puffed up, yelling and creating a ruckus without regard for onlookers.
The moment she set foot into the lobby, she started bawling at top volume, slamming her own thighs as she wailed loudly. One hand clutched at her chest while the other slapped herself — the very image of the tragic portrait of maternal injustice. She accosted anyone she spotted wearing the hotel uniform, hysterically questioning them, “Is this how you manage your unfilial white-eyed wolf staff? Does the hotel condone this? Don’t you have any sense of justice towards this old lady here?”
Getting snagged was a nasty shock to the unwitting victims and they all avoided her like she was the plague after extricating themselves.
Unable to catch any hotel staff, Jiao Xiumei changed targets and grabbed hold of random guests instead. Clutching their nice suits, she tearily poured out her grievances, “Don’t bother staying at this hotel! The place has no integrity – their employees are a bunch of ungrateful white-eyed wolves who won’t provide for their elders! Yet the hotel refuses to give me justice over this. It’s practically a scam joint! Better get your business elsewhere!”
The aggrieved parties were all stunned speechless but none dared retaliate under the stare of the public eye either. Allowing this ridiculous spectacle to continue however could severely damage the prestige of the high-class hotel however.
The lobby manager quickly got wind of the situation from his front desk crew calling for him to step in and resolve things before they escalated out of hand. But clearly he had underestimated Jiao Xiumei’s fighting prowess. With just Jiao Xiumei alone, the lobby was swiftly reduced into a completely chaotic war zone.
The lobby manager was at his wits’ end trying to reason with her. He even threatened to call the police if she kept kicking up a ruckus.
Such words were usually sufficient to intimidate most troublemakers into backing down. But Jiao Xiumei was no ordinary troublemaker. With skin thicker than the city walls and battle strength exceeding an army force, she was fully prepared to stare down the threat that faced her.
“Go right ahead and call them! Stop with all the empty blustering and call them already if you actually mean it! Sons of*** who keep threatening but don’t follow through on their threats! When officers arrive I’ll make sure they’re the judge over whether forcing an old lady like me to end up sprawled on the floor should be considered decent human behavior!”
The lobby manager truly found Jiao Xiumei impossible to deal with. He was starting to feel like even a hundred mouths wouldn’t be enough to argue her down. Desperate to salvage the situation, he struggled to retain his composure as he attempted another avenue, “Alright lady, we understand what you’re demanding now. So could you tell me which department your daughter works at and her name?”
Jiao Xiumei felt she had successfully pummeled them into helpless submission with her barrage. Sensing the timing was ripe to accomplish her aims, she magnanimously revealed, flicking a self-satisfied eyebrow, “The one who works in your administrative area in charge of tidying rooms up!”
The lobby manager swiftly contacted housekeeping over his walkie-talkie, hoping to summon the person-in-question down ASAP on top of getting housekeeping to send a supervisor to handle this too.
With no weighty characters presently on scene to take control over the situation, this ridiculous circus act in the lobby wasn’t going away anytime soon left as is.
The housekeeping employee named Xu Miyu soon arrived at the urgent summons. Judging from her uniform, she even held a supervisor position. To think a five star hotel supervisor’s birth mother could kick up such a deplorable scene and lose face without batting an eye!
After receiving the notice, Xu Miyu promptly rushed down to the lobby. Both the urgency coupled with orders from the lobby manager below telling her not to bother waiting for the staff elevator and simply ride down on whichever lift she could catch first and get down fastest to resolve the situation — every delaying second equated to deeper humiliation dealt to the hotel’s reputation.
Xu Miyu quickly ran to the elevators but adhering to Murphy’s Law, there wasn’t a single unit free even if her life depended on it the one time she desperately needed one.
By chance, someone had called the VIP executive elevator up from the admin floor range. Xu Miyu threw propriety to the winds. Politely seeking permission from the VIP guests, she asked if she could travel down with them just for that one trip since there were urgent matters requiring her presence at the lobby.
Xu Miyu was taken aback the moment she lifted her head.
Standing inside the elevator were Ji Feng and Xue Rui. Ji Feng had both hands nonchalantly tucked into his pockets, emanating an aura of aloofness and leisure.
She stared blankly at them, momentarily at a loss over how to react.
The kind guest spoke up on her behalf, “She has something urgent to handle at the lobby and hoped to catch a ride down with us in the VIP lift.”
Xu Miyu watched Ji Feng apprehensively, afraid of spotting that contemptuous or derisive look in his eyes or across his face again — the kind that made her wish the ground could swallow her whole to avoid having him see her.
But to her surprise, this time when Ji Feng’s gaze landed on her, none of the usual expressions she dreaded being subject to were present. He merely seemed a little impatient as he urged, “Isn’t it supposed to be urgent? Still standing frozen stiff in the doorway – how long more do you intend to keep spacing out?”
Xu Miyu hastily stepped inside the elevator. In her nervous state, she inexplicably ended up bowing deeply towards Ji Feng.
In the midst of straightening back up, she seemed to hear a faint scoffing sound.
It was as if mocking her silly bout of behavior just now.
But when she lifted her head, Ji Feng’s expression was utterly blank as per his norm. She wondered if the sound she picked up on just now was merely her ears playing tricks on her instead.
The elevator swiftly arrived at the first floor.
The moment the doors slid open, the familiar hysterical yelling from the lobby floated over. Xu Miyu felt her heart sink heavily like a rock in water.
Walking out of the lift, the entire farcical tableau occurring at the lobby’s hot zone came into full sight before her — Jiao Xiumei seated right smack in the middle of the lobby floor, slapping her own thighs as she weepily bemoaned and accused her own daughter for being an unfilial white-eyed wolf who refused to provide for her in her twilight years. All while a whole ring of rubberneckers stood surrounding Jiao Xiumei, keenly lapping up her teary theatrics.
At the spectacle unfolding before her coupled with awareness of the few people who had also stepped out from the VIP lift behind to similarly bear witness, Xu Miyu felt flames of humiliation and chagrin consume her entire face.
She was simultaneously furious and mortified over losing so much face, feeling like she had never been this utterly disgraced in life before.
The second Xu Miyu came into view, Jiao Xiumei’s acting skills instantly cranked up another level.
Xu Miyu approached, enduring the burning stares of the crowd as she went forward hoping to hurriedly drag Jiao Xiumei off the premises and minimize the humiliation damage.
But things failed to go as Xu Miyu wished. As Jiao Xiumei noticed Xu Miyu, she began violently struggling free instead. Clearly her aims had not yet been achieved. She needed to coerce her white-eyed wolf of a daughter into receiving more public scrutiny and judgment. She had to ruthlessly grind away that inexplicable backbone and hint of rebellion that seemed to somehow surface within her recently, thoroughly beating down any traces of that impertinent mindset daring to resist and go against Jiao Xiumei as her mother. Only when Xu Miyu was crushed under the weight of her own mistakes, stripped of any lingering thoughts of defiance towards Jiao Xiumei would the latter be satisfied.
As the two remained deadlocked, hurried footsteps suddenly echoed from the lobby — the click-clacking slap of leather soles against marble.
Then a voice barked out sharply, “What nonsense is going on now? Are you done kicking up a storm yet? Look at yourself!”
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