Chapter 11: Does He Hate Me?

“Does Xiao Si dislike me? When I called him today, he hung up before I could finish speaking.” The woman wore a black dress that accentuated her figure. Her shoulder-length hair was styled in soft waves, making her appear more feminine. She looked to be in her early twenties and was well-maintained.

“That kid is thoughtless. Don’t take it to heart,” Xu Hengyu took a drag of his cigarette, exhaling smoke. His long fingers held the cigarette butt before putting it out in the ashtray.

Shen Yuchun held her phone and asked, “Should I call him again? I’m worried he won’t answer.”

“He’s at Sixth High School. You can find him at the school gate, or come to our house.”

“Alright, I’ll go to the school then. It’s been so long – I wonder how tall Xiao Si has grown.”

Xu Hengyu replied, “He’s taller than both of us now. He looks more like you, and his appearance… well, you’ll see when you meet him.”

“Before, Xiao Si was so small, only up to my waist,” Shen Yuchun remembered when Si hugged her legs saying ‘Mom, don’t go.’ “I wonder if after all these years, he resents me.”

“He won’t. It was my fault back then for not being capable enough.” Before Xu Hengyu could continue, he heard a clear “Mama” from her end.

“I have to go now. I’ll contact you later.” Shen Yuchun hung up and ruffled the hair of the little boy in front of her. “Sweetie, are you hungry? Mama will make you something to eat.”

“Mama, who was that uncle you were talking to on the phone?” Liang Jieran grabbed Shen Yuchun’s dress, asking innocently.

Shen Yuchun wasn’t sure how to explain. She crouched down and stroked his head. “Actually, Ranran has an older brother. That was your brother’s father.”

“Can I go see my brother?”

Looking at the child who looked so much like young Xu Si, Shen Yuchun said, “Your brother might not want to see us right now. When he’s ready, Mama will take you to meet him, okay?”

“Yay! I have a brother! I have a brother!” Liang Jieran beamed with joy.

Seeing his smile, Shen Yuchun was reminded of young Xu Si tugging at her sleeve calling “Mama,” just as sweet and obedient. But she didn’t regret her choice back then. She couldn’t have endured those difficult days with him. The more she thought about young Xu Si, the better she treated Liang Jieran, as if trying to compensate for her guilt. After all these years, she still wondered what Xu Si looked like now.

“Honey, I’m home.” Shen Yuchun took the bag from his hand. “Why are you home so early today?”

Liang Zhengzhi, reeking of alcohol, leaned against her. “I missed you. Wanted to see you earlier.”

“How much did you drink? You smell of alcohol.” Shen Yuchun helped him lie down on the sofa and took off his shoes. “Wait a moment, I’ll get you some honey water from the kitchen.”

When she returned from the kitchen, Liang Zhengzhi was fast asleep on the sofa. She put the honey water on the table and was about to wake him when his phone screen lit up. She hadn’t planned to look, but several messages appeared in succession.

Yaoyao: Was today good? I’ll wait at our usual place next time ? Yaoyao: Are you home? Why did you stop replying? Yaoyao: cute cat emoji

Shen Yuchun held the phone for a moment, then unlocked it using Liang Zhengzhi’s right index finger. She opened the chat. He had saved the contact as “Yaoyao.”

Their messages only went back to last Saturday – everything before that had been deleted.

Yaoyao: These are my new clothes, do they look good? Yaoyao: cute cat emoji [Liang Zhengzhi]: They’ll all end up torn off anyway ? Yaoyao: shy emoji Yaoyao: You’re so naughty. [Liang Zhengzhi]: Wait until tonight, I’ll show you some “love” Yaoyao: Stop it or I’ll get angry and ignore you. [Liang Zhengzhi]: Okay, okay, don’t be mad. How about I take you to your favorite restaurant tonight?…

Last Saturday, Liang Zhengzhi had told her he was working overtime, but he was actually in bed with this woman. On Monday, he’d bought a bracelet and asked if she liked it, but it was actually a free gift that came with a necklace and ring he bought for this woman. The restaurant he’d said was recommended by a colleague was actually Yaoyao’s favorite.

She checked Yaoyao’s social media. There was a photo of her in a white dress standing under a tree, looking pure and cute. Liang Zhengzhi had said he fell in love with Shen Yuchun at first sight, not minding her previous marriage and child, but now he was seeing someone about the same age she had been then.

She read through all their conversations and found they shared everything – what they ate, the weather, interesting things that happened. Their messages from just a few days exceeded her conversations with him over several months.

Whenever she texted Liang Zhengzhi, he always said he was busy working overtime. Eventually, she reduced how often she messaged him to avoid disturbing him. While she waited at home for him to return for dinner, he was out celebrating another woman’s birthday.

There must have been many more conversations that Liang Zhengzhi had deleted.

Looking at him sleeping on the sofa, Shen Yuchun suddenly wanted to splash the water on the table to wake him. She leaned in to smell him and detected a faint perfume mixed with the alcohol scent she hadn’t noticed before.

The honey water on the table had gone cold. Shen Yuchun sat quietly on the sofa, looking at Liang Zhengzhi, feeling both familiar and strange. After divorcing Xu Hengyu, she had met Liang Zhengzhi who pursued her. He was handsome, from a good family, gentlemanly, and didn’t mind her past. He maintained an appropriate distance and didn’t pressure her to accept his pursuit, saying he would wait for her.

He said it was love at first sight when he saw her in a white dress, pure as if she’d stepped out of a painting – it was meant to be forever. After spending time together, Shen Yuchun found him reliable and well-off, so they quickly married.

Several years into their marriage, she became pregnant and gave birth to Liang Jieran. They appeared to be the perfect couple in others’ eyes.

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