Who was she?
That girl standing in the dim hallway, so young, tall, with long hair, wearing a puffy down jacket and a yellow plaid scarf around her neck. She had a fair, pretty face and bright, lively eyes, smiling like a child seeking praise after being clever.
Luo Jingyu stared at her blankly, thinking she must be a stranger.
Yet his heart argued: No! She’s not a stranger, you know her.
No, no, how could he know her?
The girl he knew shouldn’t look like this. Fang Xu had met her! Said she was in her thirties, short, with an ordinary face – exactly matching what he had pieced together from various clues.
Where had things gone wrong?
Luo Jingyu’s thoughts fell into chaos. Though an answer lurked in his mind, and the photo he’d just received on his phone confirmed it, he couldn’t make sense of it and didn’t want to believe it.
His long-held assumptions were completely overturned in an instant. His mind couldn’t keep up, becoming a jumbled mess.
Ah, his high school math teacher was right – his logical thinking really was poor. He only saw things at face value, unable to see the essence beneath the surface.
She was… so pretty, both smart and pretty!
And he was just a genuine fool.
Zhan Xi watched the nearly petrified man before her, waves of emotion rising in her heart as her smile gradually faded.
Oh no, had she messed up? Made Little Fish angry?
Zhan Xi pulled at the corner of her mouth awkwardly and said, “Little Fish, it’s me, Egg Pudding. What a coincidence, I live right downstairs from you.”
Luo Jingyu’s gaze remained fixed on her face. When she spoke, he stared even more intently at her lips. But at this moment his heart was racing so fast and his mind was in such chaos that he couldn’t even read her lips. He could only see that she was speaking, and despite trying very hard to understand, he couldn’t make out what she was saying.
Failing at the crucial moment!
He couldn’t hear, couldn’t speak, and now was too nervous to even read lips! Luo Jingyu, what did you come downstairs for? Couldn’t you have just pretended not to understand the message?
What was that idiom again? Self… self what trap?
Luo Jingyu regretted it. With his intelligence, how could he match wits with Egg teacher? She had two university degrees! Such a sharp mind! Yet he had foolishly rushed downstairs without thinking, just to self… what was it, humiliate himself?
He couldn’t even remember a few idioms!
Watching his rapidly changing expressions, Zhan Xi truly panicked, not understanding what he was thinking, why he wouldn’t say a word.
She had been quite proud earlier, wanting to tease Little Fish, but now felt guilty and remorseful. She had been too hasty, too reckless – Little Fish clearly wasn’t ready to meet, but she had ignored his wishes and forced him to reveal himself. Now look what happened – he was angry. Would he scold her for being crazy like Wang He did?
Zhan Xi’s lips pursed, her eyebrows and eyes drooping as she said dejectedly, “Little Fish… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
Though Luo Jingyu’s lip-reading ability was temporarily blocked, his eyes still worked. He clearly saw the changes in the girl’s expression before him, her previously animated and lively smile gradually turning into a dejected face, her little mouth pouting, making him even more agitated and regretful.
Was it because he hadn’t answered her? Was she unhappy?
But he really didn’t know what she was saying.
Seeing her pitiful appearance, all of Luo Jingyu’s pretenses crumbled away. He completely gave up resistance, his stiff shoulders and back also relaxing.
Since he was already here, there was no escape. Instead of struggling in vain, he should just tell her.
He took out his phone and typed a simple line in the notes app.
After typing, he walked a few steps toward the girl, stopping when they were less than an arm’s length apart.
The hallway wasn’t spacious, just a narrow corridor with rooms 801 and 804 facing each other at both ends, and rooms 802 and 803 facing the two elevator doors. They were standing by the white wall between the two small apartments.
Luo Jingyu held his phone screen out to the girl.
In such a confined space, when he came close, Zhan Xi caught a scent coming from him.
She couldn’t quite identify it – not perfume, more like some kind of plant or tree, very fresh and cool with a hint of bitterness. She took a deep breath, and that cool, bitter scent stimulated her nose, making her turn her head and sneeze.
“Achoo!”
Luo Jingyu: “…”
“Sorry.” Zhan Xi rubbed her nose, finally turning back to read the line on his phone.
[Are you Egg teacher? I am deaf, I cannot hear.]
Time seemed to stand still.
The girl didn’t lift her head for a long time, staring at those few words for what felt like ages.
Luo Jingyu resignedly closed his eyes for a moment.
The scene he had feared most had finally happened.
When he opened his eyes, he found she had lifted her head and was blinking her large eyes at him, with quite a peculiar expression… like she was trying to act casual despite being very surprised, though her acting skills weren’t quite up to par.
Luo Jingyu wasn’t surprised at all, even managing a small smile. But with his mask still on, the girl couldn’t see it.
He took back his phone and typed three more words.
[I’m sorry.]
Zhan Xi looked again at the phone held before her, the words “I’m sorry” particularly glaring. Only now did she understand all of Little Fish’s previous avoidance and fear.
But it was too late – her cleverness had backed him into a corner.
Luo Jingyu put his phone away without typing anything more.
He stood still, his eyes curiously looking around as if the eighth floor’s layout was different from the fifteenth floor. Zhan Xi also remained motionless, head lowered like a child who had done something wrong.
The two faced each other in a heavy atmosphere, neither knowing how to continue communicating.
Zhan Xi secretly glanced up at him, and finally, her right hand reached into her pocket for her phone, also opening the notes app.
Luo Jingyu saw her movement but didn’t stop her. His heart was still racing, his thoughts still chaotic. Unless she spoke very slowly and clearly, he still couldn’t read her lips.
Zhan Xi typed much faster than Luo Jingyu, showing him a long passage:
[Little Fish, I’m Egg Pudding, and I should be the one apologizing. I’m sorry for meeting you without your permission, please forgive me. I only found out last Saturday that you were Big Fish, and I even tried to talk to you that night. I didn’t mean anything by it, I just wanted to meet you. I don’t dislike you at all, I’m not disappointed, and I’m definitely not scared. Everything between us is still the same as before – we’re good friends. Please don’t be angry with me?]
Luo Jingyu typed slowly and read slowly, carefully reading this passage from start to finish. When his gaze returned to Zhan Xi’s face, his dejected expression had finally softened somewhat.
He typed back: [I’m not angry.]
Zhan Xi smiled at him and typed again: [Let me introduce myself properly, I’m Zhan Xi, and you?]
Luo Jingyu looked at her phone, his gaze lingering on her name for a moment before typing on his own phone: [Luo Jingyu]
Zhan Xi couldn’t help pronouncing his name: “Luo Jingyu1.”
She typed a compliment: [Your name is so beautiful! No wonder you like whales.]
Luo Jingyu didn’t know how his name sounded when spoken, and typed an explanation: [It means I can’t speak.]
Zhan Xi was startled – so that was the meaning. She wondered why… children are named right after birth, so why…
Luo Jingyu’s phone appeared again: [Congenital, both ears, completely deaf.]
Zhan Xi: “…”
She really didn’t know what to say.
Zhan Xi wasn’t naturally outgoing or lively. Catching Little Fish had already required all her courage, and that was based on her not minding any physical flaws he might have.
She really hadn’t expected that his impairment wasn’t in his appearance, but in his hearing and speech.
Ears are for hearing, mouths are for speaking – hearing and speaking are the most common ways people communicate. With Luo Jingyu lacking these two basic communication skills, even standing face to face, Zhan Xi could only chat with him by typing on their phones.
This wasn’t a good experience.
Through the internet, Zhan Xi might have been more talkative, but in this situation, she didn’t know how to continue communicating with Little Fish. She couldn’t joke around with him like usual, nor could she pretend nothing had happened and speak freely.
She had shared articles with singing videos with him before, asking if he found them funny, and had even recommended some songs she liked for listening to on the subway. She had never avoided such topics in their chats. Putting herself in his shoes, Zhan Xi realized Little Fish must have felt terrible at those times. Thinking about this made her so embarrassed she wanted to dig a hole in the wall.
Luo Jingyu had already noticed her unease, but his heart was calm.
He thought, it’s all over, he should go.
He typed to her: [It’s late, you go home, I’ll go upstairs.]
Zhan Xi nodded and typed: [Okay, good night.]
Luo Jingyu: [Good night.]
He turned around and had just taken a step when he felt someone grab his clothes.
Luo Jingyu turned back, his eyes questioning.
Zhan Xi was holding the hem of his jacket, her eyes timid, as she typed and showed him her phone:
[Little Fish, what do you look like?]
Luo Jingyu suddenly realized he still hadn’t taken off his mask.
Well, his biggest secret had been discovered, what else was worth hiding?
Luo Jingyu turned to face Zhan Xi and raised his hand to remove his mask, a simple gesture without any slow-motion effects or background music like in historical TV dramas when the female lead removes her veil or the male lead takes off his mask.
But Zhan Xi still experienced the same feeling Guo Xiang had when watching Yang Guo remove his mask2.
Luo Jingyu, Big Fish, Little Fish, the culturally unsophisticated young man Fang Xu had mentioned… was a tall young man with broad shoulders and long legs, always dressed in black.
And now, his face appeared fully before Zhan Xi for the first time. A high, straight nose, thin and beautiful lips, paired with deep, dark eyes – he was unexpectedly handsome and dignified. His dense eyelashes blinked slowly, and when their gazes met, she couldn’t look away.
Zhan Xi looked up at him, with only one thought in her mind: Was Luo Xinran some kind of fortune teller?
Perhaps her gaze was too direct, as Luo Jingyu became quite uncomfortable, his face growing slightly warm. He smiled helplessly, and Zhan Xi was dazzled by his gentle smile. Only when he pointed to the elevator did she come back to her senses and release her grip on his clothes.
After pressing the up button, Luo Jingyu waited a moment. When the elevator came, he walked in and turned around to find Zhan Xi still standing there, unmoving, her gaze following him.
Luo Jingyu waved to her, and Zhan Xi waved back. After the elevator doors closed and began ascending, Zhan Xi watched the floor display until it finally stopped at the fifteenth floor.
She sighed, turned back to room 802, and while changing her shoes, saw the lily in the glass vase on the dining table. She reached out to touch the purple-red petals and sighed again.
She had successfully caught Little Fish, learned his name, knew which floor he lived on, seen his face, and discovered his secret.
But Little Fish didn’t look happy, which was normal – nobody would be happy in this situation.
Zhan Xi herself wasn’t happy either. Although she didn’t mind that Little Fish couldn’t hear, her performance just now had been far from satisfactory. She just… hadn’t expected this, had never thought in this direction. She had really overestimated her ability to handle unexpected situations.
Her unnatural reaction might have hurt Little Fish.
Luo Jingyu experienced another bout of insomnia.
The events of the evening were bizarre, and only after lying in bed did he begin to wonder how Egg teacher had recognized him.
Had he posted photos somewhere? Leaked personal information? Or had Fang Xu let something slip?
Whatever the reason, his identity being revealed was now a fact, and there was no use thinking about it anymore.
Luo Jingyu rolled over, thinking about Egg teacher… oh, now he should call her Zhan Xi. The character “Xi” seemed very auspicious, all words associated with it had good meanings.
Zhan Xi – he didn’t know how it was pronounced, did it sound nice?
It must sound nice, both pleasant to hear and with a beautiful meaning. Her name was really well chosen.
She looked… completely different from what he had imagined.
Luo Jingyu buried his face in his pillow, feeling very down.
He was deaf, and vision was his most relied-upon sense for experiencing the world, followed by touch, taste, and smell. He was used to getting information through his eyes – what he saw was what it was, and things he hadn’t seen were hard to imagine, especially abstract concepts which were particularly difficult to understand.
He had finally managed to construct an image of Egg teacher in his mind, but it was all wrong – age, height, figure, appearance, nothing matched at all.
That little figure in his mind was already blurry and fragile, and after seeing the real person today, the little figure had completely disappeared, replaced by the dazzling image of a young woman.
Egg Pudding, Egg teacher, Sugar Egg, Zhan Xi…
He lay on his back, raising both hands in the darkness, repeatedly making sign language gestures.
He was “calling” her name in his mother tongue. Her real name, online name… Not satisfied with just “calling,” he even gave her nicknames: Little Xi, Xi Xi, Egg Princess…
But no matter how he signed, she wouldn’t understand.
Luo Jingyu smiled self-mockingly and lowered his hands, crossing them behind his head.
Although Zhan Xi said she didn’t dislike him, wasn’t scared or disappointed, and they were still good friends, Luo Jingyu could still sense her panic and confusion.
He felt they would never return to their easy, happy chat mode, and perhaps after some time, they would stop contacting each other and drift apart. After some more time, Zhan Xi would quietly delete him while cleaning up her WeChat contacts.
She wouldn’t want to keep a deaf person in her contact list.
That night, more than one person couldn’t sleep.
Zhan Xi, who usually had very good sleep quality, was still staring at the ceiling in the middle of the night.
At 9:30, she had waited for Little Fish’s WeChat message, but it never came.
Zhan Xi wanted to message him first but didn’t know what to say, and ultimately gave up.
This was the first time in three weeks they hadn’t chatted before bed.
10 o’clock, 11 o’clock, 12 o’clock, 1 o’clock… Zhan Xi kept tossing and turning, unable to sleep, feeling blocked up inside.
She opened her phone again, looking at the chat window with “Big Fish,” and naturally operated the controls, giving him access to her Moments3.
- Homonym for whales (J?ngyú). ↩︎
- Characters from The Return of the Condor Heroes. ↩︎
- Not sure if I explained this! But it’s a feature of WeChat messaging app, similar to a personal Instagram or Facebook profile feed held within the app. You can choose to hide it from certain people, hence the action above. It also directly translates to “friend’s circle”. ↩︎
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