ATLAS TRANSLATES

When Zhong Peng and Mo Yang arrived at Luo Jingyu’s home for work on Monday morning, Luo Jingyu told them they wouldn’t be working in the afternoon as he needed their help with something else.

The two young men agreed, though they weren’t sure what they’d be doing until people started delivering packages in the afternoon. Seeing the large boxes, they finally understood.

Luo Jingyu made two more trips to the delivery pickup point to bring back large packages. The young men secretly observed that their Master Luo seemed to be in a very good mood. After getting home and unpacking the outer packaging, he started directing them to work.

The three of them worked up a sweat all afternoon. Luo Jingyu paid them double their daily wages, and the two young men happily left after finishing work.

After eating a simple dinner, Luo Jingyu opened the last big box and took everything out. He sat cross-legged on the floor, carefully following the instructions to assemble everything.

He had specifically arranged for all the deliveries to arrive on this day, wanting to give Huan Huan a surprise.

Since he couldn’t answer phone calls, communication had taken extra effort. He had to repeatedly send text messages explaining that he was deaf and could only communicate via text, begging them not to cancel delivery just because they couldn’t reach him by phone. He would be home all day waiting.

Fortunately, everything was delivered on time and, with Zhong Peng and Mo Yang’s help, everything was assembled and put in place.

Tomorrow night, when Huan Huan comes to his home, what would her reaction be?

Luo Jingyu connected the wooden pole in his hand to a round wooden board, tightening the screws. As he thought about it, he found himself smiling quietly.

—

This was the last work week before the New Year. In a few days, they would have the long Spring Festival holiday. Many colleagues whose hometowns were elsewhere were eager to return home, but Zhan Xi wasn’t so keen on going back.

Because her company had factory areas with many workers, the holiday period was quite long – twelve days. So during the last work week, the department was very busy trying to finish everything before the New Year.

On Tuesday evening, past working hours, seeing everyone still working overtime, Zhan Xi felt very anxious. At 6 PM, Little Fish had sent her a WeChat message. She could only reluctantly go find Wen Qin and say she needed to leave early because she had something to do that evening.

Wen Qin looked up at her and asked something Zhan Xi never expected to hear.

“Going to class?” she asked.

Zhan Xi was extremely surprised: “No! What class?”

“Your mother called me,” Wen Qin said coldly. “She said you’re preparing for the provincial exam at the end of February, is that right?”

Zhan Xi was terrified. Although Wen Qin was her distant cousin, she was also a mid-level manager at the company – her superior! No supervisor would be happy knowing their subordinate was unsatisfied with their current job and thinking about leaving for civil service.

Zhan Xi had never told anyone at the company about the exam, assuming her mother would at least have this basic common sense. Who knew she would actually call Wen Qin? Why? Just because she was an elder?

“Let’s talk,” Wen Qin had Zhan Xi close the door and sit down, then spoke slowly: “Zhan Xi, by family relations, your mother is my aunt, and you’re my cousin. When your mother asked me to help you find a job, I looked at your resume – it was quite good, so I hired you directly. You’ve only been here for just over half a year, you’re smart, and your work performance is good. I was planning to put you in charge of training later, but it’s not time yet. So when I got your mother’s call, I was really surprised.”

Zhan Xi’s face was red with embarrassment. During this time, she had been repeatedly pressured by her mother, and then learned from Ji Hongzhe about how Chi Guilan had acted inappropriately toward his parents. Her emotions were in turmoil. Now facing Wen Qin’s questioning, she truly found it hard to explain, feeling that anything she said would be futile.

“Are you unsatisfied with the work content? Or the salary? Or maybe there are conflicts with colleagues? Zhan Xi, you can tell me anything, it’s okay,” Wen Qin had the characteristic approachability of someone who had worked in human resources for a long time, not at all aggressive.

After much internal struggle, Zhan Xi told the truth: “Manager Wen, it’s my mother who wants me to take the exam, not my own wish.”

She didn’t dare call her Sister Wen anymore. Wen Qin pondered: “Then what if you pass? You’ll just go?”

Zhan Xi couldn’t answer, stammering: “I don’t think the chances of passing are high.”

“You’ve worked here for over half a year now, you’re not an intern anymore,” Wen Qin said. “I wasn’t close to your family before. My father and your mother are cousins. I’ve heard my father talk about your mother before – your mother’s personality… is very strong-willed, very stubborn. But regardless, she’s my elder, so I shouldn’t say anything about her in front of you. Zhan Xi, I’m over ten years older than you, I just want to advise you – some things you need to learn to think about and decide for yourself.”

“In many people’s eyes, work is just a means of making a living, something they have to do. But have you thought about how most people work for at least thirty years in their lifetime? It’s an indispensable part of our lives. For us in HR, a very important part of our work is helping employees understand their career planning and direction, knowing whether they’re suitable for this position, this industry. We need to help employees learn from their work, keep up with the times, continuously enrich themselves, and thus make breakthroughs in their work – not just earning a salary, but also realizing their self-worth.”

“As an HR professional yourself, you should understand this principle even better. Taking the civil service exam is a good choice, everyone knows that jobs within the system are stable and respectable, not easily eliminated. If nothing goes wrong, you can work until retirement. So if you genuinely want to take the exam, I have nothing to say. But you tell me it’s your mother who wants you to take it, not your own intention, then I find that very strange. This is your work, your life, you are an independent person. Your mother… will eventually pass away. Are you living for her or for yourself? Are you working for her or for yourself?”

Wen Qin paused, giving Zhan Xi time to digest, then continued, “If it were someone else, anyone from any department in the company, and I found out they were planning to take the civil service exam and might leave, do you know what I would do? I would immediately notify their direct supervisor to arrange a talk. If they’re determined to take the exam, fine, no problem! From then on, they wouldn’t be assigned any important work, they’d be sidelined completely, no chance of promotion, no training opportunities, no projects means no bonuses – just waiting for them to resign on their own.”

“So, think carefully. We’re relatives after all, I’ll let you off this time. I won’t tell other colleagues about this, and I hope you won’t spread it around either. Whether you end up passing the exam or not, let’s keep this conversation between us, otherwise it would be very difficult for me, understand?”

Zhan Xi was utterly ashamed and nodded: “I understand.”

Wen Qin waved her away: “Alright, you can leave work now. Think about it carefully during the New Year. If you really want to take the civil service exam, I suggest you resign and focus on studying to pass it in one go. If you’re just casually taking it while looking for other opportunities, honestly, passing would be like a divine miracle.”

—

Leaving the company, Zhan Xi walked home with her head down, dragging her bag.

These days had been truly overwhelming. Ji Hongzhe told her to think carefully, Wen Qin told her to think carefully – she had thought about it, thought quite a lot, but what use was it?

Regarding work, Zhan Xi originally had a plan. By April or May, she would know if there were openings in the Planning Department. She had looked at past recruitment records and there was a high probability there would be. But she couldn’t tell Wen Qin about this yet – even though it was an internal transfer, to Wen Qin it was no different from job-hopping.

As for Little Fish… this was truly a problem that gave her enormous headaches.

She had fallen for someone who was completely at odds with her mother’s criteria for a son-in-law. Ahead lay a rough road with no visible future.

Yet the human heart is so mysterious – even understanding the logic, even able to anticipate the difficulties and obstacles, one still can’t help wanting to get closer to someone.

Ji Hongzhe said not to lead him on if there was no future. Zhan Xi felt wronged – how was she leading him on? Wasn’t Little Fish the one leading her on?

And they said Little Fish was innocent – how was he innocent? He was so capable! He knew to come pick her up in his car, personally deliver cake to her, had given her five marinated ducks already, and even took away her cat!

It was all because of her mother – but what could she do? Cut off ties with her mother?

Tell her, “I’ve fallen for a deaf-mute person, he’s fine in every way except he can’t hear or speak, he has a house, a career, he’s tall and handsome, treats me really well, can I date him?”

Zhan Xi let out a dejected sigh.

Even mothers as open-minded as Yao Ying and Zhao Qingqing probably wouldn’t agree!

Besides, Little Fish hadn’t said anything to her yet – maybe she was the only one getting carried away.

Walking and thinking, Zhan Xi entered Qingque Garden and went to the delivery pickup point first.

She had bought a birthday gift for Little Fish, express delivery by SF Express, which had just arrived today. There wasn’t time to check the contents or wrap it or write a card, so she just took the box straight home.

Little Fish had asked her to bring the kitten, which she did. It was almost 7 PM when she finally pressed his doorbell.

Luo Jingyu came to open the door. As soon as the door opened, Zhan Xi saw his smiling face. Before she could say “Happy Birthday,” her gaze moved past him to the living room, and her eyes widened in surprise.

Like a dream, in just two days of not visiting, Little Fish’s living room had undergone an enormous change!

Zhan Xi changed her shoes and entered, putting down the box. Gift had already eagerly bounded toward Luo Jingyu, who comfortably held it in his arms.

Luo Jingyu held the kitten with one arm while his right hand tugged at Zhan Xi’s sleeve, then pointed to the living room, the smile never leaving his face.

Zhan Xi slowly walked forward a few steps, carefully examining this familiar yet strange living room.

Where the folding dining table used to be near the entrance, there was now a natural wood four-seater dining set against the wall, in a simple style. On the table was a small ceramic vase with several white lilies that looked fresh, though Zhan Xi knew they were pressed flowers.

The workstation was still there, just moved quite a bit toward the entrance. Of the two cabinet sets that used to be against the wall, only one remained, also moved to create an empty space by the glass sliding doors.

In that space now sat a three-seater leather sofa in cream color, with three warm-colored abstract pattern cushions. Under the sofa was a square gray carpet, and on the carpet stood a simple natural wood coffee table.

Opposite the sofa, there was still no TV cabinet or TV, but there was now an extremely luxurious cat tree, along with a new litter box, cat toys, and other small items for the kitten.

With this layout, the previously empty feeling had disappeared from the living room. It was now colorful, appearing much more lively, crowded, and cozy.

Zhan Xi turned her gaze back to Luo Jingyu, who had been smiling at her the whole time, his eyes bright and shining, as if seeking praise and approval.

He pulled her sleeve and led her to the cat tree, putting Gift down. The kitten seemed overwhelmed by this huge new toy at first, but after a while tried climbing up the ramp to the second level. It was still too small to jump very high, so it just sat on the round wooden platform on the second level, grooming itself and meowing a couple of times.

Seeing that Zhan Xi still hadn’t said anything, just standing there as if dazed, Luo Jingyu had to type: [Huan Huan, I bought a sofa, do you like it?]

— Do you like it?

Zhan Xi stared blankly at Luo Jingyu, remembering their conversation. He had asked if she liked sofas, she said yes she did, and at the time he had just blinked at her.

Her heart felt like it had been suddenly struck, clenching tight.

She suddenly became certain that she wasn’t the only one getting carried away.

Luo Jingyu liked her too.

He just couldn’t say it, wouldn’t say it, dared not say it.

He could only carefully, nervously remember every word she said, then clumsily, sincerely express his feelings to her.

“I like it,” Zhan Xi answered.

Before her words faded, a tear had already fallen from the corner of her eye.

Seeing her reddened eyes, Luo Jingyu was truly frightened, becoming flustered and not knowing what to do. He couldn’t speak, so he anxiously signed: [What’s wrong? Are you feeling unwell?]

Zhan Xi could understand the first part but not the second, repeatedly shaking her head, saying: “I’m fine, I’m fine, really fine…”

But even while trying to comfort him, or perhaps comfort herself, her tears still kept falling uncontrollably. Luo Jingyu’s breathing almost stopped. He turned to grab some tissues from the coffee table and handed them to Zhan Xi. She took them to wipe her eyes, but as she wiped, grief welled up from within, making her cry even harder, sobbing out loud with her shoulders shaking violently.

Luo Jingyu was nearly going crazy, not knowing what was wrong with her. He wanted to ask but couldn’t – she couldn’t understand his expressions! He wanted to hear her speak, but she wouldn’t lift her head. He could only see her increasingly red eyes and nose, and the tears that the tissues couldn’t stop.

He couldn’t hold back anymore. He stepped forward, his right hand cradling the back of her head, gently applying pressure to pull her toward himself.

Her cheek rested on his left shoulder. He couldn’t hear her crying, but he could feel her body trembling. His left hand lifted twice, then dropped, until the third time, when it finally gently wrapped around her waist.

She still hadn’t taken off her down jacket, making her whole body puffy. Seeing she didn’t resist, Luo Jingyu bit his lip and boldly tightened his arms, finally holding her properly in his embrace.

Zhan Xi didn’t know when she had raised her arms. By the time she realized it, she was already holding this man very tightly.

He was wearing a sweater. Her hands clutched at his back, her face hidden in the crook of his shoulder as she cried loudly and unrestrainedly.

This was the closest they had been since meeting. His scent was familiar to her, so familiar that she could recognize his approach just by smell.

The man’s body was tall and straight, his embrace warm and strong, allowing Zhan Xi to forget everything and depend on him in this moment. She held him tight, letting her tears soak his shoulder, greedily absorbing his silent, ocean-like tenderness.

She thought he was truly wonderful! Such a wonderful person, someone she liked, someone who moved her heart, someone she wanted to be with, yet someone she had no way, no way, no way of being with!

She hated her own stupidity, hated her own selfishness, hated her own cowardice!

She hated that she was such a mundane person, lacking the courage to brave thorns and brambles for him, lacking the confidence to resist gossip for him. Most of all, she hated that she had absolutely no way to ensure he wouldn’t be hurt because of her.

Luo Jingyu stroked Zhan Xi’s head, his eyes looking toward Gift.

Gift was only two months old, a very timid kitten, probably because both its owners were very quiet people, especially Luo Jingyu.

He remembered that when Gift was at his home, whenever he moved a chair or made any noise handling things, Gift would get scared and hide under the bed or table.

Right now, the kitten had already hidden in a small cubby on the first level of the cat tree, not even showing its head. Luo Jingyu knew Huan Huan must be crying very loudly.

His heart ached – no matter what was making her cry, he felt terrible.

There was also a vague feeling of unease in his heart – Huan Huan was crying because of him.

Why?

It had been a very, very long time since Zhan Xi had sobbed like a child like this. After crying for over ten minutes, she finally stopped crying and left Luo Jingyu’s embrace.

She saw the wet patch on his left shoulder and sniffled, saying: “I’m sorry.”

Luo Jingyu shook his head, then ruffled her hair, bending down to look at her face, his eyes overflowing with concern.

But Zhan Xi just smiled at him, knowing her eyes must be swollen and ugly, saying: “I’m hungry, what’s for dinner?”

Luo Jingyu grabbed her arm and made her sit on the sofa, then pointed to the kitchen and made the “wait a moment” sign. Zhan Xi could understand and nodded at him.

He went to the kitchen to prepare food while Zhan Xi sprawled on the sofa, feeling completely drained.

This sofa was really comfortable, much more comfortable than her two-seater fabric sofa, but thinking that this was her first time sitting on it, and also her last, Zhan Xi almost started crying again.

Luo Jingyu had already prepared the dishes halfway, so they were quickly ready. Soon the new dining table was beautifully set with aromatic dishes.

Besides the dishes, he had also baked a small cake, topped with fresh cream and strawberries, and placed it on the dining table.

Zhan Xi sat down opposite him, looking dejected. Luo Jingyu poured hot coconut juice, they clinked glasses and ate quietly. When they were almost done eating, Zhan Xi said: “Let’s eat the cake, did you prepare candles?”

Luo Jingyu nodded, found a thin candle, stuck it in and lit it. Zhan Xi turned off the dining room light. Just as he was about to close his eyes to make a wish, Zhan Xi stopped him, saying: “We haven’t sung the birthday song yet!”

As soon as the words left her mouth she regretted them. Sure enough, Luo Jingyu stared at her blankly. Zhan Xi felt so guilty, covering her face with both hands, murmuring: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

But Luo Jingyu smiled, typing on his phone to show her: [No one has ever sung for me. Huan Huan, you sing, I can hear.]

Zhan Xi looked up at him. Luo Jingyu pointed to his left chest, made a heart shape with his hands, then pointed to his ears, and finally nodded firmly at her, his eyes showing a trace of anticipation.

Zhan Xi said: “Okay, I’ll sing for you.”

In the flickering candlelight, she clapped her hands and sang the birthday song: “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you… Little Fish, happy birthday.”

Luo Jingyu kept staring at her face, but wasn’t happy at all, because Zhan Xi was crying again.

He quickly closed his eyes to make a wish, making the simplest wish: Huan Huan, don’t cry.

After opening his eyes, he blew out the candle.

Luo Jingyu got up to turn on the lights, then walked over to kneel beside Zhan Xi, holding her hand and looking up at her, his eyes gentle as water, continuously reaching up to wipe away her tears.

He wiped them away, but more kept flowing. Zhan Xi had already given up, deciding to cry if she wanted to. Facing Luo Jingyu, she didn’t want to hide any of her helplessness and sadness, her grief and reluctance. The moment she saw Little Fish’s new living room, she knew she couldn’t continue.

That evening, Zhan Xi’s emotions were very unstable, like a child whose toy had been taken away, crying so much it broke Luo Jingyu’s heart.

During dinner, she ate a lot of food and cake, stuffing it into her mouth in big bites while choking back sobs, making Luo Jingyu very worried she might choke.

Finally finishing the meal, Zhan Xi didn’t stay long, saying she needed to leave while holding Gift.

Luo Jingyu typed to ask her: [Can we talk about what’s bothering you?]

Zhan Xi just shook her head, saying: “I’m fine.”

When saying goodbye at the door, Zhan Xi seemed to want to say something several times but stopped herself. Finally, she just looked into Luo Jingyu’s eyes and said: “Little Fish, happy birthday, please forgive me, goodbye.”

Then she took the cat and left.

Luo Jingyu didn’t understand why she said “please forgive me” until half an hour later when he received Zhan Xi’s WeChat message.

[Egg Pudding]: Little Fish, I’m sorry. I can’t say these words to your face, but after thinking about it, I should tell you here.

Luo Jingyu sat down on the sofa, clutching his phone, reading each message the girl sent.

[Egg Pudding]: You always say I’m amazing, but I’m just an ordinary person – timid, weak, ordinary, boring. You’re the truly amazing one, capable of everything, knowing early on what you want and what you want to do, much braver than me.

[Egg Pudding]: I never told you, but my mother has very high expectations for me, whether it’s academics, work, friendships, or choosing a partner – she has clear requirements for everything. Since childhood, she’s had to approve all my big and small decisions. Although I know many of her words and actions are too extreme, I don’t have the courage to resist.

I desperately long for freedom, but sadly haven’t achieved it. I feel powerless, always trying to find a balance between breaking free from constraints and satisfying her, but I can’t find it.

[Egg Pudding]: Little Fish, you’re such a wonderful, wonderful person, the most lovable boy I’ve ever met, but I can’t make any promises to you. These two months of knowing you have made me truly happy. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, thank you for your care and tolerance, but I’m sorry, really sorry. Teacher Egg isn’t brave enough, can’t see hope, can’t see a future. Teacher Egg is just a coward.

[Egg Pudding]: I’m really sorry to tell you all this on your birthday, but I think my earlier breakdown already made you realize. Little Fish, believe me, it’s my problem, not yours. You are more than good enough, you’ll definitely meet a very excellent girl and have a happy, perfect family.

[Egg Pudding]: I’ll also keep working hard and never give up on myself. At this stage, my bigger goal is with work. I have very clear plans and need to invest a lot of energy to achieve them. Regarding feelings, I’ll put them aside for now. Little Fish, you keep working hard too. I know you love pressed flowers, and I know your skill level is already outstanding. I believe that as long as good opportunities come, you’ll be able to seize them and become a master in the pressed flower world.

[Egg Pudding]: Little Fish, we’re still friends, very good friends. You can still send me WeChat messages, and I’ll still teach you grammar. It’s just that I can’t visit your home anymore. If we meet in the elevator, we can still chat. I’ll always be your Teacher Egg.

[Egg Pudding]: The box in the entrance is your birthday gift, I didn’t have time to open it earlier. It needs assembly, but I believe that won’t be difficult for you. I hope you’ll like it.

[Egg Pudding]: Finally, one more time, Little Fish, thank you for your companionship during this time. I’m really, really happy to have met you. Happy birthday, good night.

After reading all the messages, Luo Jingyu sat hunched on the sofa, elbows on his knees, frozen like a statue.

Much later, he lifted his head, looking at the cat tree opposite the sofa, the empty tree, and the empty litter box beside it.

He looked at the coffee table, carpet, and sofa beneath him, and the dining table and chairs not far away.

All of this, he and Zhong Peng and Mo Yang had worked hard to assemble yesterday.

Now looking at it, it seemed like a joke.

Luo Jingyu got up and went to the entrance, crouching down to open the box. He found that Zhan Xi’s gift was a floor lamp.

Once again sitting cross-legged, he quickly assembled the lamp. It turned out to be a wooden whale-shaped floor lamp, with a curved pole and a large wooden openwork whale hanging from the top.

He carried the curved lamp pole to the sofa, plugged it in, turned off the living room lights, and switched on the whale lamp.

Warm light instantly poured through the striped openwork holes in the whale’s body, softly filling the entire room and casting enlarged openwork pattern shadows on the walls.

Luo Jingyu stood in the middle of the living room, turning in a circle, raising his head to look around bewilderedly.

It was as if a whale had swum into his heart’s ocean in this dark night, singing lonely songs.

Books say that whales communicate through sonar, making sounds that are hard to describe in words.

There aren’t even onomatopoeias for it, making it even harder for Luo Jingyu to imagine.

Just like now, he lowered his head, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, his eyes stinging, his nose stuffed, his mouth open, but he would never know what kind of sound he was making.