Huanhuan was truly adorable – beautiful, gentle, intelligent, and cute.
Luo Jingyu’s heart would warm up just thinking about her.
He pushed the shopping cart slowly through the supermarket, buying some daily necessities. When passing by a shelf, he suddenly stopped.
The shelf was full of plush toys. Before, he would never stop here, but this time, he saw a whale plushie – it was over a meter long, with a big head, dark blue back, light blue belly, and smiling eyes on both sides of its head.
There was only one big whale, with several small whales beside it. Luo Jingyu picked up one of the small ones to look at it – ah, wasn’t this the same as the small whale on Huanhuan’s bed?
He had only seen it once, but the impression was deep. It seemed Huanhuan must have bought it here.
Luo Jingyu’s gaze fell on the big whale. After thinking for a moment, he put the big whale into his shopping cart. The cart was immediately filled, with the whale’s tail sticking up high outside.
Luo Jingyu smiled contentedly – he was quite a big fish, so naturally he should buy a big one. The bigger the better!
Going to the first floor of the supermarket, Luo Jingyu first wandered around the snack area.
These days, Huanhuan would come to his place for dinner after work. He wouldn’t let her buy groceries, saying he had time during the day to do the shopping.
Besides groceries, Luo Jingyu would also buy fruits and snacks. After spending so much time together being lovey-dovey, he understood her tastes very well.
She liked tofu jerky, five-spice flavored; she also liked Bugles corn snacks, tomato flavored; for beef jerky she preferred satay flavor; for chocolate she liked hazelnut filling…
Nuts were her favorite – pistachios, small walnuts, pine nuts, hazelnuts, sunflower seeds, she liked them all. She also liked preserved plums, the sour ones. Hmm… when Huanhuan ate, she was like a little squirrel, her cheeks puffing out adorably.
Luo Jingyu tossed packets and bottles of Zhan Xi’s favorite snacks into the shopping cart, filling all the spaces around the big whale.
After picking out some fruit juices, he pushed the cart to the fresh food section.
When it came to food, Zhan Xi wasn’t picky. Except for bony freshwater fish and river shrimp, she liked seafood. She ate chicken, duck, pork, beef, and lamb. She would eat some organ meats too – not intestines, but she could accept tripe and liver, and really liked braised duck gizzards. She accepted all vegetables, though of course, her absolute favorite was eggs.
Ah, eggs… such a simple thing. Luo Jingyu made egg dishes for her almost every day – sausage with scrambled eggs, tomato and egg stir-fry, braised pork with eggs, dried scallop egg custard, sunny side up eggs, sweet egg soup, tea eggs, egg tarts, egg dumplings, egg pancakes…
The eggs at home were used up quickly. After grabbing a carton, Luo Jingyu found there was barely any space left in the cart. He had to really squeeze to fit them in.
While waiting in line to check out, there was a young mother in front of Luo Jingyu with a little girl who wasn’t yet preschool age, around 2-3 years old, sitting in her cart. Seeing the big whale in Luo Jingyu’s cart, she excitedly reached out to touch it, calling out: “Fish! Big fish!”
Her mom turned back to look and said, “Baby, that’s a shark.”
Luo Jingyu: “?”
The little girl copied: “Shark! Big shark!”
Luo Jingyu frowned watching her lip movements. While her mom’s back was turned, he made a small sign language gesture to the little girl.
“Whale” had its own sign language word.
Left hand mimicking a fish swimming, right hand’s five fingers pinched together, fingertips pointing up, touching the left palm then opening up the five fingers, symbolizing a whale’s water spout.
The little girl watched his movements with big eyes. After finishing, Luo Jingyu smiled at her.
He thought, I’ve explained it – this is a big whale, not a big silly fish.
If you don’t understand, it means you’re the silly one.
After checking out, Luo Jingyu carried the big whale in his left arm and two big bags of shopping in his right hand as he walked home.
Back at apartment 1504, as soon as the door opened, Gift came running over.
Luo Jingyu put everything on the dining table and signed to Gift: [Was Dad away? Did you cause any trouble? Did you chew up anything?]
The kitten meowed once, circled his legs twice, then ran off.
Luo Jingyu smelled something and signed to the retreating Gift: [Did you poop again?]
He crouched down by the litter box, dutifully scooping out the dirty litter and adding fresh litter. Looking back, Gift was crouched by the glass sliding door, staring at the flower rack on the balcony.
Luo Jingyu stood up and sighed: [Stop bullying my flowers!]
Gift was getting bigger and naughtier, naughty enough to start causing trouble with Luo Jingyu’s plants.
After the kitten damaged several potted plants, Luo Jingyu felt bad for the flowers but couldn’t bear to scold Gift. He could only move all the flower racks from the living room to the balcony, thinking at least it was getting warmer now – otherwise the flowers would either freeze to death or be killed by Gift.
When Zhan Xi found out, she scolded Gift a few times. Gift pitifully burrowed into Luo Jingyu’s arms, seeming to know it had done wrong. With innocent big eyes looking at him, its little paw pawing at his fingers, even coming over to nuzzle him, it was so adorable that Luo Jingyu signed to Zhan Xi: [Let it go, it’s just a child.]
Zhan Xi fumed: “You spoil it too much! What if it ruins your pressed flowers next time? Then what will you do?”
That wouldn’t do!
After that, whenever Luo Jingyu had to leave the living room, he would put away any unfinished work on his workbench into the guest room, just in case. Fortunately, Gift wasn’t very interested in his workbench – it preferred the cat tree, sofa, and Dad’s big bed.
Luo Jingyu’s home was no longer as spacious and clean as before.
The coffee table had more and more things – various snack packages, tissue boxes, fruit plates, mugs, instant milk tea, hand cream, lip balm, hair ties, charging cables, laptops, books and pens… there were even small toys from KFC meals – these weren’t Zhan Xi’s idea, but rather Luo Jingyu who thought they were cute and insisted on buying them.
Now, except for sleeping on the eighth floor, Zhan Xi stayed on the fifteenth floor after work. During the day when Luo Jingyu cleaned the house, he would sweep up long hairs from both the living room and bathroom.
In the bathroom trash can by the toilet, there were also Zhan Xi’s used sanitary pads. When Luo Jingyu saw them, his face would turn red, and he would make lighter-tasting dishes for dinner that night, even brewing a pot of red date tea for her afterwards.
As long as it wasn’t raining, they would go for a walk after dinner.
Hand in hand, strolling leisurely.
It wasn’t convenient to chat while walking, so they stayed quiet. Occasionally their eyes would meet, and Luo Jingyu would squeeze her hand a little tighter. Zhan Xi would then tickle his palm with her finger. He tried to pull away because it tickled, but she wouldn’t let go.
Luo Jingyu thought dating was wonderful – how could it be this wonderful?
Before when living alone, all he thought about was earning more money. Being deaf, with deaf parents, compared to normal families, he always felt he should save more money. When his parents got old or sick in the future, he hoped he could take care of them without financial burden.
He also had to save for his own retirement. His parents had him and his sister to support them, but he likely wouldn’t have children. If he didn’t save enough money, becoming a lonely old deaf-mute man in the future would be very difficult, wouldn’t it?
But now his thinking had changed. He still wanted to earn more money, not just for himself and his parents, but also for Zhan Xi.
If things went well between them, could they get married?
Marrying Huanhuan, forming a small family with her, no longer living lonely by himself, walking forward together with Huanhuan – just thinking about it made him happy.
But what about children?
Would it be hereditary?
He absolutely would not allow his child to be deaf too. It was too bitter – that kind of bitterness of being excluded by society. He had experienced it for twenty-six years and would continue experiencing it endlessly. He definitely couldn’t let his child experience it too.
Would Huanhuan agree to not have children?
Luo Jingyu turned to look at her. Such a wonderful Huanhuan would definitely be a good mother.
Actually, he himself really liked children too. It was such a contradiction. If Huanhuan insisted on being a mother, what should he do?
Would he have to let her go?
Could current medical technology help solve his problem?
His sister and brother-in-law had both done genetic testing. Gao Yuan had no issues, but Luo Xiaomei had heterozygous mutations at two points in the GJB2 gene. The doctor said this was the cause of her congenital deafness.
As for whether the baby would inherit it during pregnancy, they could only know through amniocentesis testing of the fetus’s genes.
Luo Jingyu hadn’t done genetic testing. There hadn’t been a need before, and later… he didn’t know if he would have the chance to do it. The results would likely be the same as his sister’s.
Was this cruel method the only way?
The child would already be in its mother’s womb when they did genetic testing to check for problems.
If there were no issues, that would be wonderful news.
But what if it was inherited? Would they give up?
It was a life!
Luo Jingyu didn’t dare think about these things.
This was the choice Luo Xiaomei and Gao Yuan were facing now – whether to try or not.
Luo Jingyu hadn’t thought that far ahead. He didn’t care what happened to himself, he was used to it after so many years. He just didn’t want his wife to suffer, didn’t want his child to face life and death choices before even being born.
If it was Huanhuan… he wasn’t willing. He wasn’t willing for her to go through all this.
Luo Jingyu pulled back from his thoughts, feeling he was really getting ahead of himself. They’d only been dating for less than a month and he was already thinking about marrying Huanhuan and having children. He really was a big silly fish.
He put away all the groceries from the supermarket into the kitchen, and the snacks into the living room cabinet – this cabinet was originally used to store materials, tools and inventory works, but had now become a snack cabinet.
Finally, Luo Jingyu put the big whale on the master bedroom bed. When Gift saw it, it gracefully jumped onto the bed and observed the big whale for a while, as if trying to figure out what Dad had brought home.
It reached out a little paw to pat the whale, meowed once, and looked up at Luo Jingyu.
Luo Jingyu sat on the edge of the bed and petted its head, signing to it: [Isn’t it cute? This is a whale, it’s Dad’s name. Dad wants to hug it while sleeping at night. Your mom has a small one, remember?]
Gift opened its mouth, and Luo Jingyu knew it had meowed again. He continued signing: [Want some canned food? I bought you canned food. You’re four months old now, your mom said you can have snacks. Want to try some fish?]
He carried Gift to the living room and opened a can of tuna for the kitten.
This was Gift’s first can of food in its life. Luo Jingyu didn’t dare let it eat too much, only scooping half into its food bowl for it to try. Gift sniffed it before lowering its head to eat. Luo Jingyu crouched beside it watching, seeing that the kitten seemed to really like it and quickly finished. It then pawed at his leg acting cute, indicating it wanted more.
Luo Jingyu smiled and patted its head, signing: [Why are you as greedy as your mom? You like snacks this much? No, if you eat too much you won’t eat your meals. When your mom comes back from work, if she agrees to let you eat, Dad will feed you, okay?]
At this time, Zhan Xi was working at her company.
That day, the A Province civil service exam written test results were released. Unlike failing the national civil service exam, this time Zhan Xi actually ranked third in the written test scores for her position, successfully making it to the interview round.
She hid in the stairwell to call Chi Guilan and tell her mom the scores.
Chi Guilan was overjoyed when she found out, asking Zhan Xi what scores the first and second place got. Zhan Xi said: “First got 161, second got 145.”
She got 143.5, not far from second place, but really far from first. Zhan Xi had looked at the interview announcement – for other departments and positions, most first place scores were between 140-something and 155, but the first place for her position was incredibly impressive, actually breaking 160!
Chi Guilan couldn’t help saying: “You just didn’t pick the right department. Why did you have to choose this one? If you’d picked a different department you could have been first! Now we could all be celebrating!”
Zhan Xi was very exasperated – wasn’t this just hindsight? How could anyone know when applying?
Besides, she only really liked this Culture, Radio, Television, Tourism and Sports Bureau. What was the point of getting first place in other departments? Once you’re in, it’s a lifelong thing. Sister Wen Qin had said you work for thirty years, so you should pick something you like.
Chi Guilan thought Zhan Xi still had a good chance with the interview. She had studied it thoroughly and knew the interview score counted for 60% while the written test score was divided by 2 for 40%, so as long as Zhan Xi performed excellently in the interview, she still had a chance at getting the highest total score.
She told her daughter: “Huanhuan, you must dress properly and make yourself look nice. The interview is your strength! Who doesn’t like pretty young girls?”
Zhan Xi was extremely frustrated: “Mom, it’s not a talent show! You have to answer questions in the interview!”
“Just listen to Mom and you won’t go wrong.” Chi Guilan asked about her daughter’s interview time and said, “You still have a few days, prepare well. Mom is waiting for your good news!”
Zhan Xi felt immense pressure. She wanted to hang up, but Chi Guilan stopped her: “Hey hey hey! Huanhuan don’t hang up yet, let me ask you – do you know what’s going on with your brother and Qin Fei recently?”
“…” Zhan Xi couldn’t answer. She wasn’t one to gossip, and Zhan Jie’s business should be told by himself. Besides, Zhan Xi really didn’t know the details, so she could only say, “I’m not very clear, I haven’t been to their place for dinner in a long time.”
Chi Guilan said: “I called your brother yesterday, something seemed off. I asked him but he wouldn’t say.” She paused. “Nevermind, don’t go asking either, focus on preparing for your interview. Oh right, you’re both coming back for Qingming Festival right? We need to visit your maternal grandparents’ graves, and your grandfather’s too.”
Zhan Xi said: “Yes, but I’m only staying one night.”
“Why?” Chi Guilan asked, “What about your brother?”
“I don’t know about him, but I’m only staying one night.” Zhan Xi then said she needed to hang up. Chi Guilan didn’t stop her this time, knowing her daughter had made it to the interview still made her very happy. She felt this was a breakthrough – even if Zhan Xi didn’t succeed in this interview, it would add experience for the next national civil service exam.
After work, Zhan Xi went to take the elevator with Yuan Sichen, running into Lin Yan and other colleagues in the elevator area.
Yuan Sichen asked: “Little Lin’s not working overtime today?”
Lin Yan nodded: “Mm.”
While waiting for the elevator, colleagues chatted with each other.
Little Ma glanced at Lin Yan and asked Zhan Xi: “Little Zhan, aren’t we having another team building event next month?”
Zhan Xi said: “Yes.”
“Have you decided where to go?”
“Not yet.” Zhan Xi answered, “Still looking for vendors to propose options.”
Little Ma chuckled: “Last year’s team building exercise was pretty fun. I remember you’re afraid of heights – your face went pale, and Lin Yan had to hold your hand to walk across the steel wire, right, Little Lin?”
Lin Yan: “…”
Zhan Xi felt very awkward. Yuan Sichen helped cover for her: “Once is enough for team building exercises. This time it’ll probably just be a regular two-day tour.”
The elevator arrived and everyone went down together. Lin Yan and Little Ma went to get their cars, Yuan Sichen took the subway, and Zhan Xi said goodbye to them before walking home.
Little Ma watched her gradually disappearing figure and said to Lin Yan: “Little Lin, what’s going on with you? If you like her, go chase her! It’s been over half a year, you’ve given her plenty of milk tea, why don’t you just ask her out for a meal or movie? We’re all getting anxious watching you.”
Lin Yan also glanced back at Zhan Xi, saying quietly: “She doesn’t seem interested in me.”
“Girls are just shy!” Little Ma was really more anxious than the emperor. “You’re so wishy-washy, no wonder you’re single. Have you ever dated before?”
Lin Yan thought for a moment and said: “Yes.”
Little Ma was shocked: “You’ve dated before and still won’t chase her?”
Lin Yan adjusted his glasses and smiled slightly: “Forget it, I’m not in a rush. Let’s see if it’s meant to be.”
Little Ma rolled his eyes, swinging his car keys and speechlessly went to get his car.
Zhan Xi happily walked home, wondering what kind of delicious food Little Fish would make for her tonight.
For the past half month, every dinner Little Fish made was very generous, with fruits and snacks after meals, sometimes even making her instant milk tea.
(ED trigger warning)
Zhan Xi had gained weight – she had just weighed herself the day before: 99 jin (T/N: about 50kg)! About to break the 100 jin barrier.
Now she didn’t need to ring the doorbell anymore. Little Fish had given her a key to apartment 1504. Zhan Xi opened the door directly and entered. Luo Jingyu was cooking in the kitchen, the sizzling sound of stir-frying coming through, he hadn’t noticed her return yet.
Zhan Xi changed into slippers, not even needing to sneak around, and went straight to the kitchen to hug him from behind.
Luo Jingyu was startled. He was so helpless – Huanhuan always liked to play like this. He turned around to kiss her cheek, then pointed at the wok, gesturing for her to stay back.
Zhan Xi wasn’t satisfied, tilting her head up and puckering her lips. Luo Jingyu couldn’t help but laugh out loud: “Ha ah.”
The sound was still a bit unclear, but to Zhan Xi’s ears, it was like heavenly music.
She loved seeing him relaxed and natural around her, able to laugh without holding back. Every time she heard his voice, it warmed her heart.
Luo Jingyu still held the spatula in his right hand as he bent down to kiss her. They didn’t kiss deeply, just gently pressing their lips together. Luo Jingyu’s tongue finally traced her lip corner before pulling away. His left hand patted her back, telling her to go to the living room.
After another abundant dinner, the two sat on the sofa to chat.
This was their daily required course. Zhan Xi encouraged Luo Jingyu to express himself more, preferably using sign language, supplemented by typing on his phone. She told him not to rush – she was very patient and would listen carefully to everything he had to say.
Meanwhile, she could secretly practice sign language too.
So their conversations took much longer than normal people’s for the same content.
Zhan Xi told Luo Jingyu about making it to the civil service interview round.
Luo Jingyu only knew before that Huanhuan had an exam in February but didn’t know what kind. Now that he knew, he was shocked – Huanhuan was really amazing! His brother-in-law had said civil service exams were very difficult. He took the exam three times before passing for the Disabled Persons’ Federation position. Yu Qi still hadn’t passed despite being a top student in his year.
But Huanhuan got third place! Making it to interviews – she was really incredible!
Seeing Luo Jingyu sign “clever” and his endless thumbs up, Zhan Xi knew he didn’t really understand how civil service exams worked. She didn’t want to explain too much, just said: “Don’t praise me! I probably won’t succeed in the interview. That first place candidate will most likely get the position, it won’t be my turn.”
Luo Jingyu didn’t believe it, shaking his head repeatedly. He cupped Zhan Xi’s face and gave her two quick kisses, gave her another thumbs up, and signed: [You can definitely succeed!]
“Ahhhh!” Zhan Xi pounced to hug him, then used both hands to squeeze his cheeks. “Silly Little Fish, stupid Little Fish! Do you really want me to pass? Do you know where that department is? It’s in the east part of the city! So far from here! If I really pass, I’ll have to move!”
Luo Jingyu: “…”
He was stunned for a while. Zhan Xi confirmed with him again: “If I pass, I can’t live here anymore, understand?”
Luo Jingyu’s eyes widened, his mouth opened, and in his urgency, his throat made an “uh ah” sound.
Zhan Xi looked at him with downturned lips. After a while, Luo Jingyu took out his phone and typed: [Your dream is to pass? Then I want you to pass. Half home, no problem, subway I can meet you, I’m not working person now, I can go new home cook food you eat, eat finish I back home, really, no problem, don’t afraid, east city not far place.]
Reading these few lines on his phone, Zhan Xi’s heart felt so soft. She knew that whatever she wanted, Little Fish would support her.
She turned to face him, reaching out to take his hand, saying: “I don’t want to pass that badly, really.”
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