The dance class was still in session. Teacher Qiu told the students that the girl was her friend and might not be feeling well. She said they would make up for the interrupted class time later, and no one objected.
Luo Jingyu helped Zhan Xi put on her coat, zipped it up, nodded to Teacher Qiu in thanks, and led Zhan Xi out of the dance studio holding her hand.
Once they were on the street, Luo Jingyu looked at Zhan Xi. Her face was pale, her lips bloodless, and she was unsteady on her feet. He immediately crouched down with his back to her, turning his head to pat his back.
Without a word, Zhan Xi climbed onto his back, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. Luo Jingyu lifted her legs and carried her piggyback towards home.
With her on his back, they couldn’t chat while walking. Luo Jingyu was extremely worried.
During the afternoon break, he had only just seen Huanhuan’s WeChat message. He didn’t ask what had happened, only offering a few words of comfort, telling her not to be sad and to try again next time.
After class ended at 4 PM, he returned to the hotel to check his phone. Huanhuan hadn’t replied, so he sent her a few more messages and waited, but still no response. Luo Jingyu felt inexplicably anxious and didn’t hesitate to take a taxi straight to Shanghai Hongqiao Station.
He bought a ticket for the next high-speed train to Qiantang, standing the whole way since there were no seats left. Throughout the journey, he kept messaging Zhan Xi, but she didn’t respond. Although she had said she wanted some quiet time and wouldn’t reply to WeChat, Luo Jingyu was still very worried.
Being with Zhan Xi every day, he knew how hard she had worked for this transfer. Not getting it must have been devastating. He thought that whether something was wrong or not, he needed to come back to check on her. Even if he could only keep her company for a few hours, it would help her feel better.
After the train arrived in Qiantang, he took a taxi home. It was already past 7:30 PM, but Zhan Xi wasn’t in 1504, and no one answered when he knocked on 802. Luo Jingyu was truly panicked now, wondering where Huanhuan had gone. Had she gone to see her college friends because she was feeling down?
After dozens of unanswered WeChat messages, Luo Jingyu tried video calling her. The first two attempts went unanswered, but on the third try, someone picked up.
He couldn’t make out what the girl was saying, but he saw Huanhuan’s back as she knelt on the ground, surrounded by several people. Luo Jingyu was terrified and extremely worried, not knowing what was happening there. Unable to hear or speak to them, in his panic he rushed to knock on 1501’s door, asking Papa Gu to help him communicate. Finally, he learned where Huanhuan was.
Qiufeng Arts wasn’t far from Qingque Garden. As Zhan Xi leaned against Luo Jingyu’s back, her head resting on his shoulder, she noticed that his black long-sleeved T-shirt no longer carried that cypress wardrobe scent.
This discovery made her sad, as if this Little Fish wasn’t real. Her heart ached, and she let out a whimper, crying again while hugging him tighter.
Luo Jingyu had been in Shanghai for over ten days, washing his clothes in the hotel room daily – how could he still smell of cypress? Though he couldn’t hear Zhan Xi’s crying, he could feel the girl on his back trembling, and soon his shoulder was wet with her tears.
He sighed softly, adjusted his grip on her legs, and kept walking forward, eyes fixed ahead.
Only after entering the building did Luo Jingyu set Zhan Xi down. Turning to look at her, he saw her eyes were red from crying again.
Luo Jingyu wondered what great grievance had hurt her so much? How could she be this heartbroken? Thank goodness he came back – how pitiful she would have been alone. He bent slightly, reaching up to wipe her tears, his eyes full of tenderness.
Zhan Xi gazed at him intently, grabbing his hand and interlocking their fingers.
She thought herself foolish – how could Little Fish be fake? Such a gentle Little Fish, there was only one like him in the world.
Back in 1504, Zhan Xi had no energy and sat directly in the dining chair. Luo Jingyu crouched in front of her, looking up as he signed: [What’s wrong? Want to talk about it?]
Zhan Xi smiled at him through her tears and said, “I’m hungry, I haven’t had dinner. Could you make me some noodles?”
Ah, so she was hungry? Luo Jingyu immediately nodded and stood up, signing: [Okay, wait a moment.]
Before going to the kitchen, he bent down to kiss Zhan Xi’s forehead, stroked her face, and pulled her head against his stomach, gently running his fingers through her hair. Zhan Xi knew Little Fish was comforting her – since she might not understand too much sign language, he chose to reassure her through actions instead.
Luo Jingyu made Zhan Xi a bowl of noodles with a fried egg. Since there were no vegetables at home, he sprinkled some preserved vegetable shreds for flavor and added a few fish balls.
Facing this steaming, fragrant bowl of noodle soup, Zhan Xi ate while crying. Luo Jingyu sat beside her, occasionally stroking her hair and rubbing her back. Zhan Xi felt much better, and after her stomach wasn’t empty anymore, her spirits recovered somewhat. She turned to ask Luo Jingyu, “Why did you come back? Don’t you have classes every day?”
Luo Jingyu signed: [After class, came back.]
Zhan Xi asked again: “Then when do you have to go back?”
Luo Jingyu thought for a moment and answered: [Tomorrow morning, 6 AM.]
Just staying for one night, and leaving so early… Zhan Xi looked at him and started crying again, tears falling steadily as she whimpered.
Luo Jingyu’s heart ached. He pulled her close and hugged her tight, thought for a long while, then took out his phone to type: [Tomorrow is Friday, day after is Saturday. Do you want to come to Shanghai with me?]
Zhan Xi stared blankly at his phone, then looked up at his face, asking timidly: “Is that okay?”
Luo Jingyu nodded firmly, curving his right four fingers to answer: [Yes.]
Zhan Xi suddenly smiled, tears still hanging in the corners of her eyes, nodding: “Okay, I’ll go to Shanghai with you. I don’t want to be alone, I miss you so much, Little Fish, I miss you so much.”
Having made the decision, they needed to hurry. After Zhan Xi finished her noodles, she went up to the eighth floor alone to pack, while Luo Jingyu washed the dishes and prepared to store the gifts on the fifteenth floor.
The gifts would have to stay at the pet shop for a few days. The cat was very unhappy about being put in its carrier, and Luo Jingyu felt quite guilty, taking quite a while to calm the little one down.
The last high-speed train from Qiantang to Shanghai was at 11 PM. After leaving the gifts at the pet shop, Luo Jingyu and Zhan Xi immediately took a taxi to the train station.
In the taxi, Zhan Xi messaged Wen Qin to take one day of annual leave the next day, which Wen Qin approved. Meanwhile, Luo Jingyu used Zhan Xi’s ID to buy train tickets, successfully getting two adjacent seats.
Zhan Xi only brought a backpack with a few changes of clothes and charging cables. She didn’t bring any makeup or even face wash and skincare products – after all, Little Fish had high-end ones she could use.
At the train station, Luo Jingyu bought two bottles of water and some snacks, carried Zhan Xi’s backpack, and held her hand as they went through ticket check.
Zhan Xi’s mood remained low, but being beside Luo Jingyu gave her an indescribable sense of security. Being led by his hand here and there, she didn’t have to think about or manage anything – she just had to follow him.
The train station was still crowded at night, with tired travelers sitting in rows of waiting chairs. Luo Jingyu held Zhan Xi’s hand tightly, and when someone ran past them pulling a suitcase, he would stop and protect her in his arms.
Zhan Xi looked up at him – this man was her boyfriend, tall and slim, handsome and gentle. Though he couldn’t hear, he was so reliable that she could close her eyes and follow him without worry.
From the waiting room through ticket check and into the carriage, Luo Jingyu never let go of Zhan Xi’s hand.
After sitting down, he lifted the armrest between their seats, put his arm around Zhan Xi’s shoulders, and let her head rest on his shoulder. Instead of signing, he typed one-handed on his phone for her to see: [I’m here, don’t worry, don’t be sad.]
Zhan Xi closed her eyes in his embrace, reaching up to clutch his clothes, and nodded her head against his body.
The train started moving. Outside the window was the dark city, with distant lights, but what could be seen most clearly were their reflections, like in a mirror.
Luo Jingyu looked at their reflections in the window, the girl clinging to him like a cat. He thought how bold he was, taking Huanhuan away from Qiantang like this, so much like an elopement. At night…
Ah, right, where would they sleep?
The hotel where Luo Jingyu stayed was next to Xu Qingyan’s studio, just a five-minute walk away.
It was a fairly comfortable budget hotel. Because Xu Qingyan held several training courses throughout the year, they had a contract rate with the hotel, making long-term stays much cheaper for students than booking through platforms. Luo Jingyu always stayed there. Since they had homework after class and needed a desk at night, everyone had single rooms, and Luo Jingyu naturally had booked a king bed room.
He took out his phone to check the hotel room information, wondering if there were any vacant rooms. Zhan Xi noticed and reached over to press his screen, looking up to sign: [I don’t want to be alone.]
Luo Jingyu: “…”
He pointed to himself, then to the king bed room photo on the platform, then to the twin room, shaking his head, meaning his room only had one bed.
Zhan Xi just said one thing: “I don’t want to stay alone.”
Luo Jingyu was quite troubled, remembering how last month he had told Huanhuan they should book two rooms when traveling, but now it had become so difficult?
He wasn’t comfortable with Huanhuan sleeping alone either. Should he book another twin room?
Zhan Xi hadn’t thought about this at all, just hanging onto him like a koala. After thinking for a long while, Luo Jingyu decided to stop thinking about it – they’d figure it out when they got to the hotel.
The high-speed train was fast, taking only fifty minutes to reach Shanghai. Throughout the journey, Zhan Xi didn’t tell Luo Jingyu what had happened. There were too many people on the train, and she felt she would cry if she started talking, so she simply stayed quiet.
Little Fish wouldn’t pressure her. He wouldn’t constantly ask “What’s wrong with you?” or “Don’t cry, how can I know if you don’t tell me?” or “I’m really worried about you” or “Why did the transfer fail?” or “What exactly happened, tell me…”
If she didn’t want to talk, he absolutely wouldn’t force her. He would do as she had done before – quietly wait until she was ready to speak.
Zhan Xi thought it was really wise to have found a boyfriend who couldn’t speak.
Right now she didn’t actually want to pour her heart out. What’s done was done, and all the complaints, venting, and crying wouldn’t help anymore. She had originally planned to spend a few days alone, thinking carefully about what to do next.
But Little Fish came, and took her away. She thought this was better – she didn’t have to be alone with her confused thoughts. With him by her side, it was like having a portable charger – she wasn’t afraid of running out of energy anymore, wasn’t afraid of having no one to hug her when she broke down crying.
Yes, just hugging was enough, no need for words of comfort or questions. Having Little Fish was enough. It was so good – by his side, she seemed to no longer feel lost or afraid.
When Luo Jingyu and Zhan Xi left the station it was almost midnight. They took a taxi to Luo Jingyu’s hotel.
The studio was in Pudong, quite far by taxi. Luo Jingyu signed to Zhan Xi: [Tired?]
Zhan Xi shook her head and asked him: [Are you tired?]
He smiled: [Not tired, I sleep very late.]
At the hotel, Luo Jingyu held Zhan Xi’s hand to the front desk, still considering whether to get another room. Zhan Xi tugged at his hand, and when he turned to look at her, she handed him her ID card, saying, “Let’s just sleep in your room, the big bed is fine, I don’t move much when I sleep.”
Luo Jingyu looked at her for a while before taking her ID card and giving it to the front desk. Zhan Xi helped him speak: “Hello, I’m staying with him. His name is Luo Jingyu, please check – Luo as in camel, Jing as in quiet, Yu as in language.”
After checking in, they went to the room on the sixth floor. It wasn’t big, just over 20 square meters. Luo Jingyu had only stayed in the room briefly after class before going to the train station, and it was still neat from housekeeping’s morning cleanup – the white bedding was smoothly made, and everything on the desk was tidy.
Luo Jingyu drew the curtains and turned around to see Zhan Xi taking things from her backpack on the coat rack. He went over to tap her shoulder and signed: [You shower first?]
Zhan Xi took out her underwear and nightgown, only now feeling shy, and nodded with a red face: “Mm.”
Luo Jingyu took out his phone to type: [I have homework, it will take 4 hours. You shower, I shower, you sleep, I do homework.]
Zhan Xi looked at him in surprise, asking, “You still have to do homework?”
She knew he had homework every day but thought that given the circumstances, skipping one day would be okay.
Luo Jingyu nodded, typing somewhat helplessly: [Daily homework must be done. If not today, then tomorrow. Today I want to finish it.]
Zhan Xi checked the phone time – it was almost 1 AM – and asked, “Then won’t you have no time to sleep?”
Luo Jingyu signed: [Three hours of sleep is enough.]
Zhan Xi could read the determination in his expression, though his eyes remained gentle. She thought, this was about Little Fish’s studies, which she didn’t understand. If he could avoid doing it, he would surely find a way. If he said it must be done, then it must be necessary. That being the case, she shouldn’t waste any more of his time.
“Then I’ll shower first, you get your homework ready, and you can continue after you shower.” Zhan Xi went forward to hug him, then stood on tiptoe to kiss his lips. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were so pressed for time. Don’t worry about making noise when you start working, I sleep well, I’ll be fine.”
Luo Jingyu wasn’t satisfied with such a light kiss. He immediately hugged her tight and bent down to kiss her deeply and heavily. He knew they wouldn’t have time for a deep talk that night – let Huanhuan get a good sleep. This kiss would have to convey all the thousands of words he wanted to say to her.
After their lips and tongues parted, he tilted his head to bite her ear, licking her earlobe. In the quiet of night, in this strange room, he relaxed and closed his eyes, murmuring by her ear: “Uh… wai uh wai, wai uh wai…”
He always called her this way, and Zhan Xi had never corrected him, knowing he was trying to say “Huanhuan.” Every time she heard it, her heart would feel weak with tenderness, especially now with his clear yet sexy voice right by her ear, making her heart tremble and her legs go weak.
She thought herself so greedy, wanting to hear Little Fish say more words. It didn’t matter if they weren’t clear – she wanted to hear him say “Zhan Xi,” “Egg Teacher,” wanted to hear him say “I like you,” “I miss you,” not knowing how they would sound, but just wanting to hear!
But not today – they were being too clingy. Did he still want to sleep? Zhan Xi pushed his chest, and Luo Jingyu stood straight, looking at her somewhat helplessly, wondering if his strange sounds had made her unhappy.
Zhan Xi poked his chest with her finger: “I’m going to shower now, you hurry and get ready. So clingy – if I’d known, I wouldn’t have come with you.”
Luo Jingyu’s mouth turned down – how could she regret it already?
Zhan Xi laughed again: “Okay, okay, it’s too late today. Next time you can speak to me again, I’ll teach you to say other things. Whatever I want to hear, you’ll learn it, okay?”
Luo Jingyu: “!”
What?! He had to learn to speak more? Oh no! That would be so hard! Wasn’t being able to say “Huanhuan” enough?
But since Huanhuan said so, Luo Jingyu naturally wouldn’t refuse. He nodded slightly and very reluctantly let go of her waist.
Zhan Xi went to shower, while Luo Jingyu prepared his homework materials and tools at the desk.
This training course taught them about wildflowers, wild grasses, and some advanced common flower types, like more sophisticated roses. There were twelve types of wild grass alone, and Luo Jingyu had never even seen some of the fabrics before, with some techniques being entirely new to him.
There was homework every day, requiring four to five hours to complete. It couldn’t be skipped as it counted toward the final grade and affected the certificate issuance. He had originally thought about going back to Shanghai in the morning directly to class, telling Teacher Xu, and pulling an all-nighter to do two days’ homework together.
But now that he was back, he thought he should just do it, otherwise he’d still have to pull an all-nighter the next day.
When Zhan Xi came out from her shower, Luo Jingyu was already cutting patterns with scissors, so focused he didn’t notice her standing behind him. When he finished cutting, Zhan Xi tapped his arm. Luo Jingyu turned around to see her wearing a blue nightgown, her long hair already dried, pointing at the bathroom saying, “Little Fish, go shower.”
Luo Jingyu didn’t delay further, taking his clothes and going into the bathroom. Soon, the sound of the shower could be heard.
Zhan Xi climbed into bed, got under the covers and plugged in her phone to charge, only now daring to look at her messages and missed calls.
Little Fish had sent her so many messages… Zhan Xi read them one by one, feeling warmth in her heart.
Looking at the calls, Chi Guilan had called her five times, all in the afternoon. She was like this – even knowing Zhan Xi wouldn’t answer, she would keep calling, as if deliberately trying to annoy her.
Chi Guilan had also sent many WeChat messages, long paragraphs that Zhan Xi didn’t read at all, directly deleting the chat.
Zhan Jie had also called, and after thinking, Zhan Xi sent her brother a message.
[Egg Pudding]: Brother, I’m not feeling well these few days, going to travel for three days. Tell Mom not to contact me, I won’t respond. She interfered with something very important in my work, I’m completely disappointed in her. We originally agreed she’d come to Qiantang to play next week, tell her not to come, I don’t want to see her.
Zhan Jie replied quickly.
Big Brother Zhan Jie: What’s going on with you two? Where did you go?
[Egg Pudding]: Don’t worry about where I went, I’m an adult, I can go wherever I want.
Big Brother Zhan Jie: Ate gunpowder? Why so harsh?
[Egg Pudding]: Tell Mom I’ll call her Monday to clear things up. These few days no one contact me, including you. Nothing else, I’m going to sleep now, bye.
Zhan Xi didn’t want to run away. These few days away from Qiantang would be good for thinking about her relationship with her mother.
Problems needed to be solved, otherwise they would keep happening again and again. It had happened countless times before, but she had always chosen to endure, choosing passive resistance or muddling through. Experience proved that her repeated compromises were useless; her mother’s behavior only got worse.
She didn’t want to live like a puppet under her mother’s dark cloud anymore, didn’t want to sit and wait for doom.
Luo Jingyu came out from his shower without drying his hair, wearing a short-sleeved T-shirt and track pants. Zhan Xi wasn’t asleep yet, leaning against the headboard watching him. Just as Luo Jingyu was about to walk toward her, Zhan Xi pointed at him, then at the desk, signing: [Don’t come here, go work.]
Luo Jingyu: “…”
He shook his head with a smile, rubbed his wet hair, and obediently sat at the desk.
After Zhan Xi turned off the bedside lamp, she lay on her side. Only the desk lamp remained lit in the room. Luo Jingyu was bent over working, and Zhan Xi could see his broad shoulders and long, lean arms.
She didn’t want to play with her phone anymore. Having slept in the afternoon, she wasn’t sleepy now, so she just kept watching Luo Jingyu’s back.
He made rustling sounds, his shoulders and arms moving steadily – she wasn’t sure if he was dyeing fabric or doing something else.
Zhan Xi knew he must be trying to keep his movements gentle. Even though he couldn’t hear himself, he didn’t want to disturb her sleep.
As she watched, Zhan Xi’s eyes grew wet again.
Before, she thought everything her mother did was for her own good – how could her mother hurt her? Of course she had to listen to her mother, try hard to meet her mother’s demands, become the person her mother wanted her to be.
Her own thoughts didn’t matter; she could just endure and it would pass. She couldn’t disobey, couldn’t make her mother angry, had to be a good girl, couldn’t do anything that would make her mother unhappy.
But now, through Luo Jingyu, she finally truly understood what it meant for one person to be good to another.
It was a love without constraints or conditions, like gentle air surrounding her, never making her feel suffocated or depressed, and certainly never causing despair and fear.
She finally knew why she was attracted to Luo Jingyu – she had always lived so cautiously, so fearfully, and it was really too exhausting.
But her Little Fish always told her: Go ahead, do it! You can do whatever you want, you decide.
Egg Teacher, you’re so smart and capable!
You really won’t get tired of me?
I’m poorly educated, very stupid, my conditions are very bad.
I don’t want you to be angry.
Egg Teacher, I respect you very much.
Huanhuan, you sing, I can hear.
Do you like this? It’s for you!
Wai uh wai, wai uh wai…
Huanhuan, you look very beautiful!
You will definitely succeed!
I’m here, don’t worry, don’t be sad.
…
If the Ji Hongzhe incident was the whistle that led her out of the fog, Luo Xinran was the series of signposts along the way, Qin Fei was a warning light at the fork in the road, then Luo Jingyu was that warm and free harbor she had been searching for so long.
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