ATLAS TRANSLATES

After saying goodbye to everyone, Zhan Xi finished her ice cream cone and walked hand in hand with Luo Jingyu down the street.

The warm breeze brushed past their ears. Luo Jingyu looked at the scenery on the street – this was Shanghai’s busy district, almost rush hour, with many pedestrians and vehicles. He imagined how noisy and chaotic it must be, yet in his world, those moving people and cars remained like frames of a silent animation.

Being with Zhan Xi, he no longer hid his hands in his pockets. His fingers caressed her soft, plump hand in his palm. When he turned to look at her, he felt incredibly happy, extraordinarily happy.

His Huanhuan had come to pick him up after class, and had confidently told his classmates that she was his girlfriend, without any intention of hiding.

He felt so blessed – she truly didn’t mind his condition. How could she be so wonderful?

They didn’t return to the hotel, instead finding a Hunan restaurant for dinner. After eating, it was already dark. Zhan Xi remembered what that young lady had said earlier and asked Luo Jingyu if he needed to go back to work on his assignments. Luo Jingyu indicated that he had been sitting all day and was a bit tired, wanting to take a walk outside. Starting work later wouldn’t be a problem.

So, the two of them wandered to a small square. The square was lively after dinner, with people taking walks to digest their food, parents bringing children out to play, aunties doing square dancing, and coaches teaching children roller skating.

Since coming to Shanghai, Luo Jingyu had only gone between the hotel and classroom. This was his first time exploring, and with Huanhuan by his side, he felt very content.

Zhan Xi saw a group of seven or eight-year-old girls practicing a group dance in the corner of the square, their laughter drifting over. She remembered that Children’s Day was coming up in a few days.

Poor Wei Wei – this Children’s Day definitely wouldn’t be happy for him.

Zhan Xi pulled Luo Jingyu to sit on a stone bench not far from the little girls, quietly watching them dance.

Luo Jingyu kept holding her hand. After watching for a while, Zhan Xi turned to him and said, “Little Yu, I want to talk to you about the department transfer.”

Ah! Luo Jingyu had been waiting for this moment for twenty-four hours. He nodded and signed: [You speak, I’ll listen.]

Zhan Xi organized her thoughts and started from Chi Guilan and Wenqin’s relationship, slowly telling Luo Jingyu everything.

Perhaps because she had calmed down over the past day and night, Zhan Xi no longer felt like crying while telling the story. Her anger had settled, leaving only reflection. She spoke very calmly, as if telling someone else’s story.

Luo Jingyu had heard Zhan Xi mention before that her mother had very high expectations for her and was very strict. In the WeChat message she sent on his birthday, she had also mentioned that her mother’s words and actions were extreme, but she didn’t have the courage to resist.

Luo Jingyu had originally thought that no matter how extreme or strict a mother was, she should still support her daughter’s dreams. He never expected that Huanhuan’s long-awaited department transfer would ultimately be destroyed by her mother.

He couldn’t understand it. His own mother, Yan Yajuan, wasn’t highly educated – just an ordinary, kind mother. He had poor grades since childhood, was introverted, and after high school graduation insisted on learning flower pressing. Yan Yajuan had nagged him plenty and had been pushing him to go on blind dates these past two years. But he knew his mother only wanted the best for him and never did anything to upset him.

Except for the first year, every year after that, Yan Yajuan would ask if he had enough money for his studies in Shanghai, telling him to let her know if he needed more. Even during Luo Jingyu’s hardest years, his mother never complained about his flower pressing being useless. Instead, she encouraged him to study well, saying that when his skill level improved, he would naturally get business and things would get better.

His mother would encourage him, support him, respect him. He would laugh off her occasional small complaints. The family of four was close and harmonious, hardly ever having conflicts.

He had thought all mothers were like this, but clearly, Huanhuan’s mother was not.

Luo Jingyu finally understood what Zhan Xi had gone through the previous day. He felt both angry and heartbroken, and couldn’t help but pull her into his embrace. Zhan Xi leaned against him docilely, thinking that her “power bank” had started working – her energy levels were high enough to support her return to Qiantang to fight.

After they separated, she asked Luo Jingyu, “Now that you’ve heard everything, how do you feel?”

Luo Jingyu signed with serious expression, his gestures quite emphatic: [Your mother, wrong!]

Zhan Xi burst out laughing: “Hahaha…”

Luo Jingyu looked at her worriedly, seeing a glimmer of tears in her eyes.

After laughing for a while, Zhan Xi pointed at the dancing girls and said to Luo Jingyu, “Look, those little girls dance so beautifully.”

Luo Jingyu signed: [You dance beautifully too.]

Zhan Xi shook her head: “I never learned. Little Yu, do you know? When I was little, I wanted to learn dancing too. Back then, I went to a writing class in Tong County, and there was a dance class recruiting students. The teacher said I had delicate hands and feet, and flexible joints – I was good material for dancing. She hoped I would learn dance. I wanted to so badly, wanted to wear pretty little dresses and dance, but my mom wouldn’t agree.”

After a brief pause, Zhan Xi looked into Luo Jingyu’s eyes and continued, “My mom said that girls’ toes would become deformed from dancing, and it was easy to get injured. Plus, there was no future in pursuing dance as a career, so learning for just a few years was pointless.”

Luo Jingyu focused intently on her lip movements.

“Sigh…” Zhan Xi sighed, “My mom has always been like this, never asking for my opinion. When I suggest something, she’ll use a hundred reasons to reject it, then make what she thinks is the right decision for me.”

Zhan Xi smiled bitterly, “I was only eight years old then. There was a female international chess grandmaster who was very popular, having won several world championships. My mom took it upon herself to sign me up for international chess lessons. At that time, I couldn’t play any kind of chess – Go, Chinese chess, military chess… nothing. Suddenly being made to learn international chess, I was terrible at it, losing every game with my classmates until I cried. I didn’t want to continue learning, and my mom scolded me for wasting money.”

Luo Jingyu couldn’t help but laugh a little.

Zhan Xi glared at him: “You’re laughing!”

He immediately switched back to his gentle expression.

Zhan Xi continued: “This is just one tiny incident in my relationship with my mom growing up. If our hometown wasn’t just a small town with no decent job opportunities, she definitely would have kept me tied to her side. It’s almost the same now – she won’t let me leave Qiantang. University, work, settling down all must be in Qiantang. Even if there are better opportunities in Beijing or Shanghai, she would never agree to let me go.”

“When I was younger, I never thought my mom was wrong in any way. I thought she loved me very much. She wouldn’t let me learn dancing because it was for my own good. I was the one who wasn’t good enough – how could I not even learn international chess well? My mom said girls were indeed slower than boys at chess, I should learn English instead because girls learn English better than boys. I believed her completely at the time. But later when I grew up and left the small town for Qiantang, I met new friends, especially my roommate – the author of that public account I recommended to you, ‘Luo Ran Eats Melons.’ Remember?”

Luo Jingyu nodded. He had followed “Luo Ran Eats Melons,” and although the blogger posted daily articles about entertainment, TV shows and variety shows that left him confused, he still read every post just because this person was Huanhuan’s classmate.

Zhan Xi smiled, “She influenced me a lot. She’s someone who’s most passionate about breaking conventions. I started to realize my relationship with my mom wasn’t quite normal, and many things she did had already begun causing problems in my life. Since starting university until now, I’ve tried very hard to break free from these troubles and reach a balance. I want freedom, to live according to my own wishes, but I don’t want to make my mom angry.”

Zhan Xi stared at Luo Jingyu, “Little Yu, do you understand what I’m saying?”

Luo Jingyu nodded and squeezed her hand.

Zhan Xi said seriously, “But now I’ve discovered that such a balance is impossible. Either she overpowers me, completely controlling my life, or I overpower her, completely breaking free from her control. If I want freedom, I must overthrow her control. There can’t be a peaceful resolution – there’s no other way.”

At this point, she fell silent. Luo Jingyu couldn’t help but sign: [What are you thinking now?]

Zhan Xi looked up at the sky, then back at Luo Jingyu: “I’ve been thinking all day. I must change how my mom and I interact. I must be more firm. From now on, I’ll make all my own decisions and can’t let her interfere randomly anymore. If she had ever given me positive guidance, I might still consider her opinions now. But she’s almost sixty, and many of her ideas are very outdated. She’s always believed that girls should just work stable nine-to-five jobs, no overtime, no business trips, no socializing – otherwise they’re not proper women. She’s always evaluated my sister-in-law this way.”

Zhan Xi couldn’t help but laugh at her own words, shaking her head, “My mom thinks only men need to pursue careers, and it’s normal for them not to do housework. She never thought there was anything wrong with my brother. She wants me to take the civil service exam, saying it’s an iron rice bowl, so my future in-laws will respect me. I’m not actually against taking the civil service exam – what I’m against is her reasons for wanting me to take it. Besides, I secretly studied the major I wanted in university and have my own career plans. Whether they’re right or wrong, I can’t accept being told to give up without even trying!”

Each of Zhan Xi’s statements was quite long, making it somewhat difficult for Luo Jingyu to read. His brows furrowed slightly. Fortunately, she spoke slowly, and he was very familiar with her way of speaking. Even if he couldn’t understand every word and sentence perfectly, he could grasp the general meaning.

Luo Jingyu took out his phone to type: [When I was young, doing crafts, many people laughed, called me feminine, I didn’t care. I knew what I wanted, dreams need persistence, be yourself, don’t listen to what others say.]

After reading what he typed, Zhan Xi laughed out: “People called you feminine? How pitiful!”

Luo Jingyu shrugged, shaking his head with a bitter smile, and typed: [Little Zhe laughed at me before.]

“Ji Hongzhe was that bad?” Zhan Xi said angrily, “He laughed at you but still used your handmade gifts to chase girls? And you still gave them to him?”

Luo Jingyu smiled and signed: [No choice, I couldn’t beat him up, I was too skinny.]

“Hahaha…” Zhan Xi laughed so hard she rested her head on his shoulder.

After a while, she lifted her head. Luo Jingyu had been turning to watch her the whole time. Zhan Xi said, “Little Yu, I’ll be honest with you. If I were single now, without you by my side, I might get angry when something like this happens, but afterward I would probably still listen to my mom like before. Continue preparing for the civil service exam, go on blind dates with the men she introduces. One day, I might pass the exam, and another day, I might marry the man she approves of. I might live what others consider an enviable, stable life, slowly reaching my thirties, forties… I might forget what my twenty-four-year-old self really wanted in her heart. I might… give up.”

Her fingernails dug into Luo Jingyu’s palm, causing him to feel a slight pain.

“But now, I have you by my side.”

As Zhan Xi spoke, her gaze became determined, “I don’t know why, but when I think of you, I’m not afraid anymore. I feel I can’t go on like this. I must, must, must change.” Zhan Xi gripped Luo Jingyu’s hand, looking into his eyes, “I need to say ‘no’ to my mom. I won’t take the civil service exam anymore, and I won’t go to the workplaces she introduces. I’ve wanted to quit this job for a long time! I’ll resign after returning to Qiantang! I want to find work I truly like, and even if it doesn’t work out well, I won’t regret it. I just want to try! I’ve worked so hard for so long! How can she not even give me a chance to try?”

Her tone became passionate, the tears in her eyes becoming more apparent. Luo Jingyu had no other option but to open his arms and hold her, gently patting her back.

Regarding Zhan Xi’s decision to resign, he wasn’t surprised. In terms of career, Luo Jingyu had always followed his own wishes.

As a deaf person, finding work was already difficult. In high school, he had worried about what he would do in the future. His parents said if he couldn’t get into university or find a good job, he could help at their small supermarket, which would eventually be passed to him. He could be a small business owner – the earnings wouldn’t be much, but enough to marry and live.

But that wasn’t what Luo Jingyu wanted. His path was narrow, much narrower than most people’s, but he still wanted to try breaking through. He wanted to make a living with his own hands, believing that with enough effort, he could succeed.

Zhan Xi hadn’t planned to cry, but still shed tears despite herself. Emerging from Luo Jingyu’s embrace, she looked at him tearfully, watching as he extended his left index finger with a closed fist, while his right hand’s five fingers came together with the middle fingertip touching the base of his left index finger.

This was a very visual sign language word that Zhan Xi had learned. It looked like “supporting from behind” – translated, it meant “support.”

He pointed to himself, made this gesture again, then pointed to Zhan Xi, repeating it twice.

He was saying: [I support you, I support you.]

Zhan Xi immediately broke into a smile through her tears. She knew her Little Yu would never disappoint her.

He supported her, supported her in taking control of her own destiny.

She wasn’t afraid anymore, deciding to bid farewell to her former weak self.

She wasn’t even twenty-four yet, hadn’t even gone through her second zodiac year – she was so young! While her mother was approaching sixty, growing old. Why should she be so afraid?

Her kindness and filial piety shouldn’t become weapons for Chi Guilan to hurt and control her!

Zhan Xi knew what she would face. Work was one thing, being with Little Yu was the second important thing. She hadn’t told Little Yu, but their relationship would definitely face storms, though she believed he wasn’t entirely unaware.

Many people didn’t support them, but many others offered support and blessings.

Those who didn’t support them all thought Luo Jingyu wasn’t good enough for Zhan Xi, just because he was deaf.

Only Zhan Xi knew how incredibly good Luo Jingyu was.

His goodness wasn’t in the conventional sense – it was beyond ordinary, almost illegally good!

Was it because he lived in a silent world? Zhan Xi had never met anyone purer or more sincere than him. He didn’t have a single impure thought in his heart, innocent like a child, yet with a man’s courage and responsibility.

He was a divine fish she had caught with great effort – no one could force her to let go, no one!

Zhan Xi jumped up, pulling Luo Jingyu’s hand to make him stand too, saying loudly, “Alright, I’m done talking! I feel so much lighter now. Let’s go back to the hotel, you still have homework to do.”

Luo Jingyu smiled slightly, holding her hand in return as they walked back to the hotel together.

—

When Luo Jingyu heard Zhan Xi say his homework would take six or seven hours tonight, he dramatically shook his hand and held up five fingers, raising his eyebrows.

“Five hours?” Zhan Xi asked in surprise, “Is five hours enough?”

Luo Jingyu nodded confidently, gesturing for Zhan Xi to shower first while he prepared his homework materials and tools.

Luo Jingyu wasn’t blindly confident. The pine cricket flower was indeed slow and difficult to make, which was why he had borrowed a sample from Xu Qingyan for reference.

Homework usually required making two flowers – the first for practice and experimentation, which wouldn’t go very smoothly, and the second as the official submission. Luo Jingyu said five hours would be enough because he planned to make just one, challenging his comprehension ability.

After they took turns showering, Zhan Xi stood beside Luo Jingyu watching him make the flower for a while. Seeing him use small tweezers to wrap fingernail-sized fabric around tiny cotton balls and perfectly glue them together gave her goosebumps.

Little Yu’s hands were so clever! If Zhan Xi had to wrap these cotton balls, her head would explode, but Little Yu could patiently wrap them one by one, each stamen smooth and round, neatly arranged to the side for later use.

He also needed many petals to press – pink, thin strips, at least thirty or forty pieces. Zhan Xi picked up the sample flower from the table. Xu Qingyan had made a purple flower with layers of petals and dense stamens. Zhan Xi was truly impressed. These tiny white fabrics and cotton balls that would be hard to find if dropped on the floor could be transformed into a flower by these flower-pressing artists – it was magical!

There was only one chair in the room. Afraid Zhan Xi would get tired from standing too long, Luo Jingyu told her to rest on the bed. Zhan Xi crawled under the covers and started reading the book she had bought that day.

Luo Jingyu worked for two straight hours. Zhan Xi got tired of reading and looked up with a yawn, noticing he hadn’t changed his position at all.

She got off the bed and walked to his side again. Luo Jingyu was reviewing the notes he had taken during the day.

Zhan Xi patted his shoulder. Luo Jingyu looked up at her, and she signed: [Are you tired?]

Luo Jingyu signed back: [Not tired.]

“Take a break, let me massage your shoulders?” Zhan Xi pressed the muscles in his shoulder hollow, “Your neck will get uncomfortable like this.”

Luo Jingyu agreed, remaining seated while Zhan Xi stood behind him and began massaging his neck and shoulders. Luo Jingyu had a large frame with broad shoulders and the characteristic lean muscles of a young man. Zhan Xi could barely grip any flesh while massaging – it felt quite firm.

She wondered if he had abs. This person sat working all day – would he have a belly? She never had the chance to feel.

Zhan Xi let her mind wander while massaging, thinking about the treadmill in Luo Jingyu’s guest room – she had never seen him use it. There were also some dumbbells on the floor, which she hadn’t seen him use either. Overall, Little Yu was quite a homebody. He said himself that he had been quiet and inactive since childhood. Zhan Xi worried – would he become chubby in the future?

Lost in thought, Zhan Xi pressed too hard, and Luo Jingyu suddenly yelped in pain. She immediately lightened her touch. After a while, he seemed to find it very comfortable, even making some humming sounds.

After massaging for about ten minutes, Luo Jingyu didn’t want Zhan Xi to get too tired. He thought, rest didn’t necessarily mean massage, rest… could take other forms.

He turned and pulled Zhan Xi’s hand, making her sit on his lap, and held her close while looking intently at her face.

So late at night, in such a dimly lit room, a young couple embracing while sitting together – the atmosphere had become incredibly intimate.

Zhan Xi wore a nightgown. Luo Jingyu’s fingers brushed through her long hair, tucking it strand by strand behind her ear.

He didn’t close his eyes, his gentle gaze fixed on her as he leaned closer, his lips very lightly grazing her chin, earlobe, neck… but not moving to her lips.

At times like this, he really wanted to say sweet words to Huanhuan, like a normal boyfriend saying “Baby, you’re so beautiful” or “Darling, you smell so good…”

But he couldn’t speak, so he could only give her light kisses.

Huanhuan was using his shower gel, with a rich but not overpowering milky fragrance that made her skin smell enticing, making him want to bite.

But he didn’t dare bite, afraid of hurting her. He only dared to lick gently, his moist, soft tongue tip grazing her slender neck, unable to resist sucking lightly on that fragrant skin.

Luo Jingyu felt like he had become a gift. No wonder little cats liked to suck on his fingers so much – sucking was really interesting, and Huanhuan was so soft and fragrant…

If he could hear, he would know that Zhan Xi was already moaning softly from his kisses, her body melting in his arms; if he could hear, he would know that he himself could no longer hold back, making low, muffled groans in his throat.

Soon, they were no longer satisfied with such playful pecks. Neither knew who initiated it first, but their lips came together.

Luo Jingyu finally closed his eyes. In the darkness and sea-like silence, he savored the taste of the girl in his arms, their tongues intertwining, his body feeling like it was on fire.

He had never known what a heartbeat sounded like, but that heart was in his own chest. Its vigorous beating transmitted to his brain – no need for ears, every nerve and drop of blood told him his heart was about to burst, his whole body about to burn up.

Maybe Huanhuan felt the same? Luo Jingyu secretly opened his eyes to look at her – her cheeks were flushed red, her arms around his neck as she kissed him breathlessly. Perhaps sensing his pause, she also opened her eyes slightly. Their eyes were so close that they almost crossed – Luo Jingyu almost laughed, but Zhan Xi didn’t give him a chance to escape. Her fingers ran through his hair, and once again, like fishing, she caught his lips with her sweet bait.

This kind of embrace and kissing wasn’t their first time. They had been dating for three months, and in moments of intense emotion, they would inevitably become curious about each other and certain things, developing an indescribable yearning.

However, when Zhan Xi’s hand secretly explored downward, Luo Jingyu’s mind flashed like lightning. His whole body tensed up, and he quickly grabbed her hand.

Their lips finally parted as they looked at each other with rapid breathing, both their lips deep red and moist. Zhan Xi felt the shame of being caught doing something naughty, stammering an explanation: “I-I just wanted to… feel if you… had abs.”

Luo Jingyu: “…”

Whether it was abs or anything else, he thought, now wasn’t the time, wasn’t the time, wasn’t the time! The moment hadn’t come yet, hadn’t come, couldn’t be like this, couldn’t be like this…

The two separated with red faces. Zhan Xi sheepishly crawled back under the covers, while Luo Jingyu sat in the chair for a while before tugging at his pants and silently entering the bathroom.

Zhan Xi lay on her side, pulling the covers up to cover her face, leaving only her eyes blinking as she stared at the bathroom door.

Little Yu… didn’t make a sound.

After a long, long time, Luo Jingyu came out with his head down, sat at the desk, and didn’t dare look at the bed at all.