After praying to Buddha and making wishes, Li Zhi led the three of them around the mountain. It wasn’t until after lunchtime that the driver came to pick them up from the mountain.
The return trip was less crowded than the journey there. The mountain wind howled through the cracks in the windows. In the distance, peaks and ridges overlapped, and sunlight blanketed the mountains.
Half an hour later, the car stopped at the same spot as that morning. Li Zhi, rubbing his shoulders, was the first to get out of the car. His coat was open at the front as he turned back and asked Ruan Mian, “Let’s go get a meal together.”
It was around mealtime after all.
Ruan Mian nodded. “Okay.”
On the way back, Li Zhi and Ruan Jun had gotten to chatting about games and successfully established a friendship exclusive to boys.
At this time, Li Zhi had his arm around the little boy’s shoulders, the picture of brotherly love. “What do you want to eat? Big bro Li Zhi is treating.”
“Grilled fish!”
Having lived here for years, Ruan Jun knew all the best places to eat. “It’s just east of the bridge. My dad often takes me there.”
“Alright, grilled fish it is then.”
Li Zhi looked back at the other two. “Is that okay with you guys?”
Neither had any objections. The three big kids allowed themselves to be led by the little one towards the east side of the bridge. At this time of day, the market had stopped, and the streets were empty with all the roadside vendors having packed up their stalls.
The grilled fish place Ruan Jun mentioned was called Streams and Mountains Grilled Fish. Past mealtime, there were only the boss and the helper left in the restaurant. The server came over with menus and tea.
After ordering dishes, Li Zhi picked up his cup and took a sip of tea. He looked at Ruan Mian and asked, “Is your grandmother’s house in the southern Xiping?”
“Yes.”
Ruan Mian also inquired, “Is your family in the north?”
Li Zhi nodded, “The innermost house just west of the bridge.”
Residents from the northern and southern Xiping usually don’t have close interactions unless there are family ties. Moreover, Ruan Mian and Li Zhi don’t frequent this place. If they hadn’t coincidentally met at the market that day, they might not have known about this for a while.
It was fate indeed.
Li Zhi was easygoing, and Ruan Jun was a chatterbox. The meal passed quite lively.
By the time they finished eating, it was almost 3pm. After running around all morning, the four of them were a bit tired. They didn’t make any other plans and went their separate ways at the bridge.
The next few days Chen Yi was staying at Xiping, Li Zhi made sure to call Ruan Mian out to play almost every day—fishing, skating, going to the theatre1 to watch movies. As long as it was something fun he could do, he made sure not to miss it.
Time flew by, and Spring Festival was upon them. On the morning of January 24th, after eating breakfast together, Chen Yi left with his luggage on the bus headed for Ping City.
Ruan Mian and Li Zhi saw him off at the platform. Cars passed by on the road, and the biting winter wind swept up the dried leaves along the roadside.
Li Zhi and Chen Yi were chatting off to the side while Ruan Mian stood a step behind them.
The skies over Xiping had cleared up these past few days, and the temperature had risen a bit. Sunshine poured down brightly.
She raised a hand to shade her eyes, her gaze slipping through her fingers to land on the boy.
He had his head lowered slightly, listening to Li Zhi speak, a vague hint of a smile at his lips. His expression was nonchalant. Occasionally, when he heard something funny, he would laugh with eyes narrowed in mirth.
Unrestrained and vividly alive.
Every moment was etched into Ruan Mian’s memories.
Soon the bus arrived. Chen Yi grasped his luggage and patted Li Zhi on the shoulder. Then he turned back to look at Ruan Mian, tone gentle, “See you at school.”
Ruan Mian suppressed the elation in her heart. “Yeah, travel safely.”
“Mm.”
The boy picked up his suitcase and boarded the bus. It drove off, the clamor lasting but a moment. After rounding the corner up ahead, its shadow was soon gone from sight.
Li Zhi clapped his hands. “Let’s head back too.”
Ruan Mian walked out of the station with him, side by side along the lakeside. Wintry waves shimmered on the lake surface under the sunlight.
Whether intentional or not, Li Zhi tilted his head to look over. “Chen Yi’s pretty popular at your school right?”
Ruan Mian gave a slight nod.
“Then there’s probably a lot of girls who give him love letters and confessions huh?”
Ruan Mian murmured in agreement, “I guess so, seems like quite a lot.”
Li Zhi asked again, “Have you seen any before?”
Ruan Mian inevitably thought of Sheng Huan, her gaze lowering slightly. “I’ve seen one. She publicly stated she wanted to pursue Chen Yi during our school’s New Year Gala.”
“How bold.”
Li Zhi’s gaze was fixed ahead as he remarked meaningfully, “People should be unrestrained like that at least once in their youth, to make sure they don’t waste it.”
Ruan Mian blinked. She felt he was implying something.
Seeing her not take the bait, Li Zhi looked back over. “Don’t you agree?”
Ruan Mian suddenly felt an itch in her throat and gave a light cough. “Maybe so. Not everyone can do that though.”
Li Zhi laughed. “True, no one knows what the future holds after all.”
Ruan Mian’s heart skipped a beat. She kept feeling there was more to his words, but Li Zhi didn’t dwell on the topic further, quickly moving on to chat about other things.
New Year’s Eve was exceptionally lively for Ruan Mian. Early in the morning, she was woken up by Ruan Jun to put up Spring Festival couplets2. The siblings busied themselves the whole morning.
At noon, they just ate something simple at Ruan Jun’s home. Aunt Zhou Xiujun and Auntie were busy preparing for the reunion dinner that night. Ruan Mian accompanied Ruan Jun to play slot machines at nearby shops.
Ruan Jun wasn’t great at studying but was a pro at games. After just over half an hour, he had already won a huge pile of coins, annoying the shop owner.
When they were done, Ruan Mian bought a big bag of snacks for him at the shop and had Ruan Jun carry it back. The two of them sat side by side on the steps in front of his house eating.
Chewing on a lollipop, Ruan Jun asked, “Sis, do you have admirers chasing you at your school?”
Ruan Mian propped up her chin looking at him. “Why the sudden question?”
“Just curious. Can’t I show some concern for my sister?”
Ruan Jun tried again from a different angle. “So, do you or not?”
“No.”
“Not even one?”
Ruan Jun scratched his head. “That can’t be right. My sister’s so pretty.”
Ruan Mian laughed at his antics. “What about you? Any little girls that like you at your school?”
Perhaps she had touched on Ruan Jun’s secret troubles. The little boy reacted as if his fur had been ruffled. “No way, impossible. Definitely none.”
He was obviously hiding something.
Ruan Mian chewed on the candy and casually asked, “How many points did you get on your final exam this time?”
“201. Didn’t you see my report card last time?”
“Oh, I forgot.”
Ruan Mian asked again, “What about her then?”
“Over 100 I think, still less than I got…” Ruan Jun suddenly pursed his lips, his whole face turning red from his neck in an instant.
Ruan Mian laughed uncontrollably, looking at him askance, “I didn’t say who she was.”
Ruan Jun was extremely embarrassed, but it was too late to hide it now, so he could only bury his head between his legs and mumble, “Then I’ll tell you, but don’t say anything to Mom and Dad.”
“Okay.”
“She chased me first. She’s from the class next door. She always likes to come to our class to find me. At first I thought she was pretty annoying. Her grades weren’t that good either, although my grades aren’t great, they’re not as bad as hers.
But she just kept chasing me and chasing me, and said she wanted to study hard for me. After a while, I felt like maybe she wasn’t so annoying after all.”
Ruan Jun drew circles on the ground with his finger. His ears that poked out were bright red. “But I haven’t agreed to be with her yet. Otherwise she definitely wouldn’t study hard. With her grades, it’s questionable whether she can get into the same high school as me…”
Ruan Jun kept chattering away, but Ruan Mian seemed to have thought of something. Her gaze fixed on a certain spot as she fell deep in contemplation.
The young boy, hearing no response after talking for so long, stopped and looked up, “Sis?”
Ruan Mian snapped back to reality and laughed softly, “In that case, shouldn’t you study hard too? What if she does better and you stay the same? What will you do then?”
“Then I would be…” Ruan Jun mumbled something incomprehensible, taking a good long while before he peeped, “Sis, let’s officially start tutoring after Chinese New Year, okay?”
“Okay.”
Ruan Jun was about to say something more when his auntie called him from inside. He responded and got up, brushing the dust off his pants before going in.
Ruan Mian sat there thinking for a long time. A gust of wind through the hallway brought tears to her eyes.
She rubbed her eyes a couple times. When she put her hands down, she let out a long sigh.
On New Year’s Eve, the Ruan family had a sumptuous reunion dinner. After eating, Ruan Mian first received a call from Fang Ruqing, then a call from Ruan Mingke.
It had been several months since Ruan Mingke went to the west. This was the first time he had contacted her. After asking about her well-being for a bit, Ruan Mian passed the phone to Zhou Xiujun.
The old woman had been all smiles, but after hanging up, she turned her head and wiped her eyes. Ruan Mian couldn’t bear to see this. She held back her tears and walked out of the house.
In the countryside, there was no firecracker ban, so bursts of firecrackers lit up the dark night sky.
Ruan Mian didn’t go far either. After settling her emotions, she retraced her steps back home. By the time she returned, the dinner remains had been cleaned up and the whole family was sitting in the main hall chatting around the charcoal brazier to stay up for the new year.
She pulled over a stool and sat down next to Zhou Xiujun. The old woman held her granddaughter’s hand, caressing the back of it with her calloused fingertips.
The TV was showing the Spring Festival Gala3. Ruan Mian took out her phone and sent a new QQ status4 at the stroke of midnight when the New Year bells chimed.
Ruan Mian: Happy New Year.
This status quickly received likes and comments from classmates, both those from No. 8 Middle School and those from No. 6 Middle School before.
Only he was missing.
Ruan Mian hesitated for a moment holding her phone, thinking of Li Zhi’s words and Ruan Jun’s words. Finally, she steeled herself, tapped on Chen Yi’s profile picture, and sent him a message.
Ruan Mian: Happy New Year.
She soon received a reply.
Chen Yi: Happy New Year.
Ruan Mian smiled for a long time holding her phone. All the anxiety and apprehension this day were soothed and smoothed over in those four characters.
After Spring Festival, Jiang Rang found Ruan Mian on QQ and asked her some math-related questions. He was tactful and Ruan Mian couldn’t find a reason to refuse.
Jiang Rang had previously learned English from Chen Yi and compiled a notebook. He would go through two pages of content with Ruan Mian every day.
The two didn’t interact much at school, but became the most frequent contacts during the holidays.
Ruan Mian spent the rest of her days tutoring Ruan Jun and studying, until the holiday ended right before Lantern Festival5.
On the day she went back, Ruan Mian didn’t let Fang Ruqing come pick her up, but took the bus back to Pingcheng with Li Zhi instead.
Although reluctant, Zhou Xiujun couldn’t do anything. She sent Ruan Mian all the way to the bus station, constantly reminding her, “Be safe on the road, call Granny if anything comes up.”
Ruan Mian smiled. “Okay, I know.”
After getting on the bus, Ruan Mian opened the window to see Granny following behind the bus. She suppressed the sudden surge of sadness, “Granny, go back now.”
Only then did Zhou Xiujun stop in her tracks, standing in place waving at her.
Ruan Mian closed the window and slumped back into her seat. Beside her, Li Zhi, who had an eye mask on, fished an orange lollipop out of his pocket and handed it over.
“Sleep for a bit.”
He said.
Ruan Mian gave an “Mm”, took the candy and tucked it in her pocket. She pulled her cap over her head, and her surroundings grew dim as the sounds faded away.
After more than two hours, when they got off the bus, Fang Ruqing was already waiting outside the station fence. Seeing Ruan Mian from afar, she circled around the crowds and came to the exit.
“Mian Mian.”
Ruan Mian looked up and saw her. She quickly walked over and introduced Li Zhi, “Mom, this is my friend Li Zhi. His hometown is also Xiping, so we came together.”
Li Zhi slightly nodded. “Auntie.”
“Oh, hello.”
Fang Ruqing took Ruan Mian’s suitcase, and Zhao Yingwei, who had just gotten off a phone call nearby, came over. Seeing Li Zhi, he laughed and said, “Little Zhi.”
Li Zhi also laughed. “Uncle Zhao.”
Fang Ruqing didn’t recognize Li Zhi and was puzzled. Zhao Yingwei explained, “The Li family, from the Li supermarket near our place, their kid.”
Fang Ruqing suddenly understood and also laughed, “No wonder he looked familiar.”
In the end, they were all from the same place. After getting in the car, Fang Ruqing asked Ruan Mian a few things about the old woman’s situation, and said she would bring her over for a physical exam when the weather warmed up later.
In previous years, Zhou Xiujun’s checkups were always arranged by Fang Ruqing, but things were different this year. Ruan Mian didn’t say much, only “We can call Granny then.”
“That works too.”
Fang Ruqing said.
On the way, Zhao Yingwei took several phone calls and had to let Fang Ruqing drive halfway. Ruan Mian listened to his phone conversations, which seemed to be about investment matters.
She didn’t pay much attention and turned her head to look at Li Zhi. He was leaning against the back of the seat and seemed to be asleep.
At this time, it was between the transition from February to March. The temperature in Pingcheng was rising again and the sunshine outside was bright and warm, making people feel drowsy.
Ruan Mian lowered her head and yawned a few times.
After half an hour or so, the car stopped at an intersection. Zhao Yingwei went to park nearby while Fang Ruqing carried Ruan Mian’s suitcase and walked ahead.
Ruan Mian and Li Zhi were left behind.
“When do you start school?”
Ruan Mian was puzzled. Li Zhi was a high school senior. His winter vacation started earlier than hers, yet his school was starting so late. He didn’t seem nervous at all like a third year high school student should be.
Li Zhi swung his arms. “Started long ago, I just haven’t gone.”
His gaze fell ahead and he said in a low voice: “I think your mom misunderstood our relationship. She was looking at me strangely just now.”
“Huh?”
Ruan Mian scratched her cheek. “I didn’t notice that at all.”
“You’ll see when you get home. She’ll definitely ask you about it.”
By the time they reached Li Zhi’s house, he bid Fang Ruqing farewell and raised his eyebrows at Ruan Mian. “See you later.”
After he went inside, Ruan Mian hurried to catch up with Fang Ruqing and asked, “How is Zhao Shutang doing?”
“Still can’t move around. With her broken arm, she probably won’t be able to keep up with classes this semester.”
Fang Ruqing wore flat shoes today and looked about the same height as Ruan Mian.
“I see.”
Fang Ruqing glanced at her. “Did you and Li Zhi already know each other before you moved back or did you meet after?”
He really hit the nail on the head.
Ruan Mian pursed her lips. “We knew each other early on, right after I moved here. I got lost that night last summer and he was the one who took me there.”
It was something from last year so Fang Ruqing didn’t have much impression of it either. She gave some advice in a roundabout way, “You’re still young. Your main focus should be on studying. Other things can wait until after the gaokao.”
Ruan Mian wrinkled her nose. “I know.”
When they got home, Fang Ruqing pushed Ruan Mian to go see Zhao Shutang in her room. This was probably the first time she had entered Zhao Shutang’s bedroom. Unlike Ruan Mian’s small and simple room, this was clearly more of a girl’s room.
Zhao Shutang was half sitting up in bed with her left leg and arm in thick casts. The bruising near her right cheekbone still hadn’t faded completely and looked somewhat startling.
With adults present, the two didn’t bicker. One made a perfunctory inquiry and the other gave an obligatory response.
Neither was nobler than the other.
After paying Zhao Shutang a visit, Ruan Mian went back to her room to unpack and rest. She ate lunch downstairs and the rest of the time passed quickly.
The next day was the first day of school. With Zhao Shutang unable to move around, Zhao Yingwei and Fang Ruqing went with Ruan Mian to school to meet Teacher Zhou Hai in his office.
After getting Zhao Shutang excused from classes, Zhou Hai brought up the competition class. Ruan Mian’s heart skipped a beat as she suddenly remembered she had forgotten to tell Fang Ruqing about it.
From Fang Ruqing’s expression, Zhou Hai could tell Ruan Mian hadn’t mentioned it. He smoothed things over with a smile, “It’s just a math, physics and chemistry competition class organized by the school. After Ruan Mian transferred to No. 8 Middle School, she’s gotten full marks on math for several monthly exams. Teacher Yan, who is in charge of the math group, wants her to join a competition class to see if she can take the academic competition route for recommendation admission. Ruan Mian still has some weak subjects overall, so competitions would give her more options.
However, this depends most on Ruan Mian and your opinions as parents. If she joins the competition class, she may not be able to focus as much on other subjects, but if she can get a placement, she’s guaranteed admission to a top university.”
The decision seemed sudden. Fang Ruqing and Zhao Yingwei looked at each other, then glanced at Ruan Mian before responding, “Let her decide for herself. We have no objections. As parents, we wouldn’t stop her even if we disagreed. Of course we’ll be supportive either way.”
With that said, the rest was left to Ruan Mian. Fang Ruqing and Zhao Yingwei still had to go to work, so they bid Zhou Hai farewell and left the school after some small talk.
Zhou Hai got up and poured a cup of tea, looking at the silent figure next to him, he gently asked, “Something so major, why didn’t you mention it to your family?”
“I forgot.”
“Did you really forget or did you not want to say?”
Zhou Hai sat back down and said solemnly, “In one’s life, whether it’s family or life, there will always be some setbacks. Sometimes you just have to endure and it will pass. Don’t overthink. You’re still young. There are some things you don’t understand yet, but it will become clear naturally when you grow up.”
“Teacher Zhou, I understand what you’re saying.”
Ruan Mian smiled. “But this time I really did forget. As soon as vacation started, my mind went wild and I only focused on relaxing.”
Zhou Hai was too lazy to lecture her further. He stirred the tea leaves with the lid and asked, “Then what do you think about joining the competition class?”
“Teacher Zhou, I…”
To be honest, Ruan Mian had never considered taking the academic competition route for recommendation admission before. She actually leaned more towards the standard process.
Seeing her hesitant look, Zhou Hai already guessed what she was thinking. He advised, “You have to know there are many unexpected things with the gaokao. Your grades right now aren’t stable. Although you can certainly go to a very good university, trying the competition route might allow you to go somewhere even better. Either way, it’s up to you. I won’t force you. Go home and think about it carefully, okay?”
Ruan Mian pursed her lips and inhaled lightly. “Okay, I understand. Thank you Teacher Zhou.”
Ruan Mian returned to the classroom where many students had already arrived. The seats were still the same as last semester. The brief separation made everyone seem overly excited.
Some turned in homework, some made up homework, and lively chatter was the essence of youth.
As soon as Ruan Mian sat down, people crowded around, bombarding her with questions about Zhao Shutang’s condition. “Isn’t she not coming to class this semester?”
Ruan Mian: “No, she just got a month off.”
“That long? What happened to her?”
“Hit by a car.”
“That serious? Did they find the driver responsible?”
Ruan Mian pursed her lips. “They did.”
These people were concerned and gossipy. Ruan Mian knew what they asked and answered only that much, not elaborating on anything else.
Later, Meng Xinglan squeezed through the crowd and pulled Ruan Mian out. “You’re silly. If Zhao Shutang finds out you’re talking about her at school, she’ll fight with you again.”
Ruan Mian leaned halfway over the railing in the corridor. “What can I do? They were asking normal questions. I can’t say I don’t know to everything.”
After chatting for a bit, Ruan Mian saw some figures coming up the stairs below. She slowly straightened up and turned around to lean back against the railing.
Meng Xinglan had an eventful vacation, but when listening closely, the main content boiled down to just Liang Yiran.
While listening, Ruan Mian moved her gaze to the stairwell. When she saw the figures approaching, she pretended to have a nonchalant look.
Jiang Rang had seen the girls on the third floor early on downstairs. By the time he came upstairs, he had his arm around Shen Yu’s shoulders and walked briskly.
Chen Yi fell a few steps behind them. With his hair uncut over the new year, it had grown out quite a bit from his previous buzzcut, all fluffy and messy.
The group stood chatting in the corridor for a while before Shen Yu returned to class first.
Jiang Rang held onto the railing and asked Ruan Mian, “Did you finish looking through the notes I gave you before?”
Ruan Mian didn’t expect him to bring that up suddenly. She inexplicably felt guilty with Chen Yi there, avoiding his gaze. “Finished them.”
“Okay, I’ll get you two more sets of mock exams later.”
Ruan Mian politely said, “Thanks for the trouble.”
Jiang Rang smiled. “It’s nothing. You’ve helped me with math too.”
Meng Xinglan sensed something off. She bumped Ruan Mian’s shoulder with hers. Although she didn’t say anything, her gossipy gaze had already revealed what she was thinking.
Ruan Mian rubbed her face. From the corner of her eye, she saw Chen Yi enter the classroom through the back door.
Her heartbeat stuttered.
She knew he doesn’t care, yet she would always be nervous about his every move.
- Novel used the word ‘?????’ (literally translated to small movie workshop). In Chinese slang, it often refers to a small, informal space where individuals watch amateur or independent short films. ↩︎
- Spring Festival couplets – Decorative posters with poems/sayings put up around the doorways for Chinese New Year celebrations. Usually written or printed on red paper. ↩︎
- Spring Festival Gala / Chunwan (??)?- an annual televised variety show broadcasted on the eve of the Chinese New Year. One of the most-watched television programs in China, and Chinese families typically gather together to watch it. ↩︎
- QQ – I don’t think I explained QQ before but it’s basically an instant messaging platform in China. Think MSN (if you’re of the right era) or WhatsApp. ↩︎
- Lantern Festival (???) – marks the end of the Chinese New Year celebrations. Celebrated on the 15th day of the first lunar month, with flying of paper lanterns, family gatherings, and tangyuan. ↩︎
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