The next morning, Ruan Mian was woken by her alarm. She rubbed her sore shoulders as she came out of the duty room, went to the office to finish rounds with Meng Fuping, then went to the changing room to change and get off work.
After changing, Ruan Mian took the elevator down with her colleagues who were planning to head to the cafeteria to scrounge up some food. She didn’t have much of an appetite and parted ways with them at the bottom of the building.
It was late spring in the north, still not hot in early April with the morning sun casting a thin layer of warmth after 7am.
She walked towards the hospital entrance, pondering if she should take a taxi or the subway. Lost in thought for a moment, she didn’t notice her surroundings.
Right outside the hospital gates was a busy road with cars flowing like water. There were people coming and going on the tree-lined paths on both sides. Ruan Mian was so tired she could barely keep her eyes open standing there trying to hail a cab.
In her daze, she felt a shadow blocking her view.
“That tired?”
The voice gave her heart a heavy startled thump. Ruan Mian looked up, still a bit bewildered seeing the person before her.
Chen Yi had come to the hospital last night to deliver supper. Before leaving, he had seen the day and night shift hours for the doctors posted on the wall, so he had gotten up early and rushed over.
His car was parked in a temporary spot by the roadside directly facing the hospital gates. As soon as Ruan Mian emerged, he saw her. Walking over, Chen Yi noticed her standing there with eyes half-closed as if she had fallen asleep. She didn’t even notice him approaching.
There was a touch of coolness in the wind, and the horns from the road sounded abruptly.
Only then did Ruan Mian return to her senses, realizing their distance had crossed the normal social comfort zone. She reflexively took a small step back, and the masculine aura surrounding her lightened somewhat.
She unconsciously licked her lip corner, blinking as she asked, “What are you doing here?”
Chen Yi’s eyes were lowered, laughter in them. He looked especially handsome in the bright light. He didn’t answer her question, instead asking “Have you eaten breakfast?”
“Huh?”
Ruan Mian shook her head saying she hadn’t eaten yet. Her rising drowsiness left her completely unaware that he hadn’t answered her question.
“Then let’s go, breakfast first.”
There were several breakfast places near the hospital. Ruan Mian didn’t know his preferences either, so she brought him to her regular spot.
“They have wontons, noodles, congee and buns here, take a look and see what you want to eat.”
After speaking, Ruan Mian looked up at the boss, “I’ll have a bowl of chicken wonton soup.”
Chen Yi raised his eyes, “I’ll have the same.”
“Coming right up.”
The boss jotted it down and asked again, “Anything else? Just two wonton soups might not be enough right?”
Ruan Mian glanced at Chen Yi, “Then add a basket of xiaolongbao1.”
“Got it, coming up.”
It was morning rush hour and the shop was busy. Ruan Mian was much more sleepy than hungry, sitting there yawning with moist red rims to her eyes.
Chen Yi set his cup down, “Very tired?”
“A little.”
Ruan Mian rubbed her eyes, “I’ll be fine after a shower when I get home.”
Chen Yi made a sound of affirmation, suddenly regretting having made her come out for breakfast. “Or we could get takeout, you can sleep in the car for a bit and eat when we get to your place.”
“It’s fine, I’m actually a bit hungry too.”
Ruan Mian held her water cup. Neither spoke again, their gazes occasionally meeting then quickly looking away.
The atmosphere was silent but not awkward, strangely harmonious.
After eating, Chen Yi drove Ruan Mian home. Meng Xinglan and Liang Yiran’s flight was early this morning, they would be landing in two hours.
Ruan Mian was so tired she fell asleep against the seat shortly after getting in the car. When stopped at a red light, Chen Yi glanced over and reached back to grab his coat from the backseat and lay it over her.
Due to this action, the two were very close. Chen Yi could almost hear her steady, rhythmic breathing.
In that moment, it felt like something in his heart was scratched, light but very distinct.
The traffic light changed ahead. He drew back, turned off the navigation audio and smoothly accelerated the car forward.
The car was filled with repeated silence and calm.
Yet for the first time Chen Yi didn’t feel it was stifling. The wind howled past the cracks in the window, and at some point, he vaguely heard the sounds of his own heartbeat.
Again and again, undisguisable heartbeats.
After 11am, Chen Yi received the eighth call from Shen Yu while sitting in the car for almost three hours. He turned to look at the still sleeping person, and got out of the car.
The door shut very softly but still woke Ruan Mian from her dreams. She opened her blurry eyes to see the coat on her shoulders had slid off.
She was disoriented, her unfocused gaze searched around until landing on the man standing outside the car on his phone.
Chen Yi was still wearing a black shirt and black pants today. His tall, upright figure had dappled light and shadows falling on his straight, fluid shoulders.
Unable to hear what he was saying from afar, Ruan Mian rubbed her temples. Her gaze fell on the coat in her lap, and in that moment, she suddenly recalled the unanswered question from that morning. A very bold thought slowly emerged in her mind.
Like she couldn’t believe it, yet also incredulous.
Ruan Mian would actually feel that Chen Yi had come so early to the hospital that morning just to see her. But the ultimate reason, she couldn’t say.
In the brief silence, Chen Yi had also finished his call. The sound of the car door opening pulled Ruan Mian out of her idle thoughts. Their gazes met for a moment in the cramped space.
Chen Yi’s actions paused as he sat down, only speaking after, “Liang Yiran and the others have arrived, they’re at my place now.”
Ruan Mian made a sound of acknowledgement, falling silent for a few seconds before asking, “How long did I sleep?”
“Almost three hours.”
Chen Yi tapped the steering wheel with his fingers twice, turning to look at her, “Do you still need to stop by your place?”
“Probably not.”
She had already washed up and changed at the hospital that morning. Plus it was late now, going back to pack up would delay them even more.
Chen Yi gave a slight nod, not saying anything else.
There wasn’t much traffic at this time, the roads seemed rather empty. Ruan Mian stared out the window somewhat lost in thought.
There were things she wanted to ask, yet also afraid she might be overthinking, going in circles until they all became unspeakable and difficult to broach.
Chen Yi lived in the east of the city, about an hour’s drive from where Ruan Mian lived. By the time they got there, it was already past midnight.
Shen Yu and the others had ordered takeout from Haidilao at home. When the two of them walked in, the pot had just started boiling, and the aroma diffused in the air along with the steam.
“Mianmian!”
Meng Xinglan jumped down from the sofa and rushed over to hug Ruan Mian tightly. The momentum was a bit fierce, and neither of them stood firm. Just as they were about to fall over, Chen Yi reacted quickly and reached out to support Ruan Mian from behind. She was practically leaning entirely in his arms.
Chen Yi steadied her, then grabbed her arm and subtly pulled her aside. As they brushed past each other, he said in a low voice, “Be careful.”
Ruan Mian made a small “oh” sound, her voice very soft, and it was unclear whether he had heard it.
Meng Xinglan didn’t notice the hint of intimacy between the two. She hugged Ruan Mian’s arm and started acting coquettishly, “Mianmian, I missed you so much!”
Ruan Mian smiled and squeezed her hand.
Shen Yu came out of the kitchen holding bowls and chopsticks, calling out, “Damn, you guys are finally back. I’m starving to death here.”
The five of them sat down at the table one by one. Ruan Mian was sandwiched between Chen Yi and Meng Xinglan. Shen Yu opened a bottle of beer for each person and placed it by their side, “Given our special circumstances, let’s just have one bottle each for the sake of it, no more than that, alright?”
Meng Xinglan agreed, “Okay, no problem.”
Ruan Mian also picked up the bottle and poured some into her glass. She had low alcohol tolerance and her face would easily flush red after drinking, but she didn’t want to disappoint Shen Yu either, so she didn’t say anything.
She reluctantly drank two glasses, with more than half the bottle still left. She didn’t pour any more into her cup, lowered her head to eat some food, and chatted with Meng Xinglan as she ate.
Her wedding was scheduled for June, and they would only be able to finalize the exact date by the end of this month. Ruan Mian was one of her bridesmaids, along with Fu Guangsheng, their high school class monitor.
“The groomsmen are tentatively Shen Yu and Chen Yi,” Meng Xinglan said as she picked up some greens with her chopsticks.
“I wonder if Jiang Rang can make it back in time.”
Jiang Rang.
Hearing this name, Ruan Mian’s chopsticks paused involuntarily as she recalled that night many years ago.
The boy with reddened eyes and a helpless expression.
She pursed her lips slightly, putting aside those thoughts. “Is Jiang Rang still abroad?”
“Yeah, after he went to the US in his fourth year of university, he stayed there and hasn’t been back for years. The last time I saw him with Liang Yiran was three years ago.”
Ruan Mian chewed on the meatball thoughtfully.
After a while, Shen Yu said they should drink another round together. As she put down her chopsticks to grab a bottle, she realized that the bottle which had been half full earlier now only had a bit left in the bottom.
Ruan Mian’s movements stilled slightly as she poured out the remnants, barely filling a third of her glass.
She glanced at the other unopened bottle on the table, thinking Chen Yi must have picked up the wrong one by mistake. She was about to reach for his bottle to top up her glass.
Unexpectedly, Chen Yi noticed and raised his hand to stop her. “You’ve got the wrong one.”
He turned his head to look at her, eyes filled with amusement. “That’s my drink.”
Ruan Mian withdrew her hand. She could only clink glasses with them holding that bit of wine left, and as she put down her glass, she couldn’t help asking, “Did you pick up the wrong bottle earlier?”
“Did I?”
Chen Yi leaned back lazily in his chair. “I don’t remember either.”
“…Alright then.”
Ruan Mian didn’t ask further. She picked up her chopsticks again and resumed eating. Her cheeks were flushed, perhaps from the spicy food or the alcohol.
Chen Yi lifted his glass and downed it in one go, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. The corners of his lips curved up imperceptibly at the same time.
After the meal, none of them felt like moving, so they stayed in and decided to watch a movie before heading out in the evening. The curtains in the living room were drawn, blocking out the only light source and instantly darkening the room.
Meng Xinglan and Ruan Mian sat on the sofa choosing a movie and setting up the projector, while Chen Yi washed fruit in the kitchen. Shen Yu and Liang Yiran went downstairs to buy snacks.
“What do you want to watch, Mianmian?”
“Anything is fine, you can pick.”
Ruan Mian was actually feeling rather sleepy. Sinking into the soft sofa just made her more drowsy.
“Why don’t we watch a horror movie then?”
Meng Xinglan searched for a film on her phone and got it ready to project onto the TV. By then, Liang Yiran and the others had also returned with two bags of snacks.
Shen Yu walked over and sprawled out on the single sofa next to them. “What movie did you guys find?”
Meng Xinglan put down her phone. The opening theme of the film was already playing in the room. “That super popular foreign one, ‘Triangle’. Have you seen it?”
“A horror movie?”
Just as Shen Yu was about to say something, he saw Chen Yi coming out of the kitchen with the fruit and forgot about it.
Chen Yi placed the fruit on the coffee table, then naturally sat down in the spot next to Ruan Mian. Ruan Mian, who had been nodding off just a moment ago, was jolted awake by the sudden dip beside her. She turned her head and inadvertently met Chen Yi’s gaze.
At that very instant, the movie shifted into the opening credits and the room dimmed further, accentuating the depth and brightness of his eyes.
It was as if Ruan Mian’s breath had been choked off. Her heart inexplicably started racing, and she temporarily forgot to react.
Suddenly, the music from the film abruptly grew louder, startling both of them. They hurriedly and awkwardly looked away.
An ambiguous tension silently permeated the air around them.
Ruan Mian sat stiffly, hands on her knees. Her ears and cheeks felt hot, but her attention was no longer on the screen as her thoughts wandered.
That bold idea from earlier surfaced in her mind again, itching to be realized.
She now felt like an eager gambler – despite the low odds, she still harbored a sliver of expectation, as if the next hand could win her a windfall.
- ??? (xiao long bao) – a type of chinese dumpling with a soft skin, meat filling and broth that bursts out when broken into. They’re also called soup dumplings. (T/N: Also, bloody delicious.) ↩︎
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