ATLAS TRANSLATES

In the summer of 2019, Jiang Rang, who was overwhelmed with a new project, received an email from his home country.

The sender was Liang Yiran.

Liang Yiran was his good friend from high school and the only one who still kept in frequent contact with him since he went abroad.

In addition to the usual greetings, the email also contained a wedding invitation.

The bride, Meng Xinglan, was Liang Yiran’s childhood friend and another high school friend of Jiang Rang. The wedding was set for June 6th.

Along with the invitation, a photo was also sent.

It was a group photo taken in their third year of high school before graduation. There were six people in the photo: him, Liang Yiran, Meng Xinglan, Shen Yu, Chen Yi.

And…

The person he had hidden in his heart for many years, unforgettable yet forbidden.

In the late summer of 2008, No. 8 Middle School welcomed the new school year. The campus, which had been empty for over a month, was once again filled with a large number of unfamiliar yet vibrant faces.

Several boys stood in the corridor on the third floor of the teaching building on the southern side.

The camphor tree in front of the building was towering into the clouds, its branches extending far, blocking the sky and sun. The wind was filled with the breath of summer.

The boys had their arms hanging over the railing, their upper bodies leaning outward, heads down, squinting at the running figures below.

There were faint conversations beside them.

Boys’ topics always revolved around three things: shoes, video games, and basketball games. Jiang Rang found it boring. He raised his hand to scratch his ear a couple of times, then suddenly straightened up, his hands gripping the railing, shaking it twice.

He sighed with some boredom and turned to enter the classroom.

In the new semester, Jiang Rang and his former good friends were assigned to different classes. The only one who was in the same class as him didn’t show up for some reason today.

Finally, after enduring until class started, the classroom quieted down. Jiang Rang withdrew his feet that were propped on the chair and turned his head to look out the window.

He was the first to notice when Zhou Hai brought Ruan Mian over.

The girl had a standard ponytail and very fair skin.

Zhou Hai had taught Jiang Rang’s class in the first year of high school, so Jiang Rang was quite familiar with him. Joking around was a common occurrence. He whistled jokingly, his gaze inadvertently sweeping over the girl standing beside Zhou Hai.

She was a new transfer student this semester, named Ruan Mian.

Ruan, as in the character for “sable.”

Mian, as in the character for “sleep.”

At that time, Jiang Rang didn’t know that this name would become a lifelong regret for him. The teenage him only saw the girl’s silence and embarrassment, and he took the lead in applauding to break the awkward situation.

It was an unintentional act, but some people took it to heart because of it.

Perhaps the new semester was too boring, and there were no very familiar friends in the class. Jiang Rang was full of curiosity about this new classmate.

Especially after the results of the placement test came out.

Jiang Rang was impressed by her unexpected performance and specially went over to praise her. However, Ruan Mian seemed to be used to it and even self-deprecatingly said that he wouldn’t think so the next time she took exams in all subjects.

At that time, Jiang Rang didn’t understand the meaning of her words. It wasn’t until the first monthly exam of the semester ended, and Ruan Mian exposed her weaknesses in other subjects, that he realized.

And by that time, he and Ruan Mian had already become friends who were not very close but were a step beyond ordinary classmates, thanks to Meng Xinglan and being in the same class.

They could even occasionally sit together and eat.

Long-term interactions didn’t make Jiang Rang aware of his unusual feelings towards Ruan Mian. He thought he was just curious, so he paid more attention to her. He thought it was out of concern as a friend, so he proposed the idea of tutoring her during the winter vacation.

Although his math scores were not as good as hers, they were still far ahead of others, and he didn’t really need to put in too much effort.

All of this was just his self-deception.

Unfortunately, the young heart’s movement came a step too late. This step seemed like a tiny gap, but it was also a vast chasm, making it impossible for him to cross it from then on.

The fact that Ruan Mian liked Chen Yi, just like he liked her, was thought to be deeply hidden. But unexpectedly, it would always be known by people who shouldn’t know.

Yet those who should know would find out at an inappropriate time.

Fate is always so full of twists and turns.

Ruan Mian’s estrangement was expected, and Jiang Rang was helpless. He could only watch himself being pushed away from her world step by step.

In their third year of high school, Jiang Rang and Ruan Mian rarely interacted. He would avoid group activities whenever possible.

On the night of the farewell dinner, Jiang Rang saw the regretful and sad look in Ruan Mian’s eyes when she looked at Chen Yi. At that moment, he had an impulse to tell Chen Yi about her feelings.

He wanted to compete fairly with Chen Yi.

But where was the fair competition?

From the beginning, Ruan Mian never gave him a chance. Chen Yi was always her winner. In this competition, he didn’t even have the right to participate.

After graduation, Chen Yi went abroad to study, Ruan Mian returned to No. 6 Middle School to repeat a year, Shen Yu went to military school, and he, Liang Yiran, and Meng Xinglan came to City S.

The six of them went their separate ways and never saw each other again.

Until the winter of his senior year, he and Meng Xinglan went to University Q as school representatives to participate in a competition. The night before departure, Jiang Rang ran lap after lap on the track.

The cold wind was bleak in the winter night, just like his heart. On the surface, it was scorching hot, but inside, it was already riddled with wounds.

Meeting was inevitable. This time, Jiang Rang didn’t beat around the bush. On the surface, it seemed like he wanted to confront her, but in fact, he just wanted a reason to completely let go.

Ruan Mian told him that she had already met Chen Yi before going to No. 8 Middle School.

She said that encountering someone and falling in love with them was more like a matter of fate for each person. If lucky, one’s wish would be fulfilled; if unlucky, it would be a so-called calamity.

He was lucky to have met her.

But in the end, it was still not enough. It was just an encounter, nothing more.

Jiang Rang finally decided to return to China to attend Liang Yiran and Meng Xinglan’s wedding, but unexpectedly, this was the real reunion.

He learned about Chen Yi and Ruan Mian’s reunion from Liang Yiran.

It turned out that from beginning to end, he was the only one who had bad luck. It was better this way. Between him and her, one of them should have their wish fulfilled.

If possible, he hoped that person would be her.

On the wedding day, Jiang Rang saw Ruan Mian. She was still the same as before, looking beautiful when she smiled. But when she looked at him, her eyes were always filled with an indescribable complexity.

He tried his best to appear casual and confident, holding back his sadness and heartache as he said those words, just like when she had advised him to let go and move forward.

That night, Jiang Rang drank glass after glass, using the excuse of shielding Liang Yiran from alcohol. But his mind remained sober, just like the hole in his heart.

The sadness and regret were clear.

He saw Chen Yi’s figure walking away from the wedding venue, so he chose to pretend to be drunk and return to his room after the wedding, waiting for Chen Yi to come and ask, waiting to use it as an excuse to have a big fight with him, or even a physical altercation.

But Chen Yi stopped in his tracks.

Jiang Rang lay on the bed, his eyes open, looking at the night sky outside the window.

After a long time, he only heard the sound of Chen Yi walking away. He closed his eyes and sighed.

Chen Yi still left him with the last bit of dignity.

Some things shouldn’t be known from him, and shouldn’t be laid out between them as brothers. Although over the years, Jiang Rang had deliberately distanced himself from Chen Yi because he couldn’t get over it.

But in Chen Yi’s mind, who was completely unaware, Jiang Rang was always the same Jiang Rang as before.

He was an indispensable part of his youthful memories.

That night was exceptionally long for Jiang Rang. He didn’t stay at the hotel for long. Instead, he went downstairs and walked along the road for a long time until dawn before stopping.

Jiang Rang stood on the unfamiliar street, looking at the rising sun. He took out his phone and deleted all the things related to Ruan Mian that he had saved over the years.

It ends here.

His feelings from the age of sixteen until now.

In the end, it still concluded with regret.