ATLAS TRANSLATES

Fu Xueli hoped her question sounded natural.

There was a short silence.

“Every time you come to find me, you act like you don’t want to talk to me. What exactly do you want?” she asked, puzzled.

Xu Xingchun ignored her, leaning against the wall and lighting a cigarette.

His shoulder line was smooth, extending into straight lines along the side seams of his clothes. His white shirt was slightly damp, covered by a black leather jacket.

Surrounded by a haze of smoke, his vague stare at her somehow had an indescribable handsome danger.

The balcony was furnished with wooden tables and chairs, with warm yellow light strips embedded in the walls. Fu Xueli kept reminding herself in her heart, don’t be seduced by his good looks, must hold on, must hold on.

Must control herself.

Still unable to resist, she took two steps closer to him. Her hand moved quickly, trying to snatch Xu Xingchun’s cigarette.

He didn’t resist.

Fu Xueli was barefoot, just reaching his chin. She had to look up to see Xu Xingchun’s eyes.

“Xu Xingchun, what are you putting on airs for?” She looked up, asking seriously, seemingly very confused.

The half-smoked cigarette was casually tossed aside by her. He remained unmoved, his black jacket slightly open, the shirt underneath also half wet, his neck so attractive it made one want to tilt their head up and bite it.

Xu Xingchun raised his hand and turned off the wall lamp beside them.

Fu Xueli stood slightly on tiptoe, opening her arms to encircle his neck. She asked in a very light voice by his ear, “You clearly can’t let go of me, right? That’s why you keep coming to find me. You simply can’t control yourself, can you, Xu Xingchun?”

His whole body tensed up, not saying a word, as if some embarrassing secret had been exposed.

Fu Xueli rested her head on Xu Xingchun’s chest, somehow suddenly feeling nostalgic. She hadn’t seen him smile for a long time.

Others didn’t know how handsome Xu Xingchun looked when he smiled.

When they were young, she was extremely mischievous, often playing pranks on him. When they were alone, Xu Xingchun usually wouldn’t get angry, occasionally showing her a helpless smile.

When he smiled deeply, there were shallow dimples beside his cheeks. One could get drunk in their heart without looking closely.

Her jade-white fingertip idly poked his chin, saying carelessly, “Smile for me, won’t you?”

Xu Xingchun looked at Fu Xueli coldly, but made no substantial move to resist. He didn’t push her away or reject her, just slightly blocked that wandering hand, his tone gloomy, “What do you want to do?”

“I want… you to smile at me, okay?” Fu Xueli asked the repeated question, sighing inwardly.

Without waiting for his refusal, her water-red thin lips, accurately and decisively, met his slightly parted lips without hesitation.

Her tongue tip tried to pry open his teeth. Fu Xueli smiled, satisfied to see Xu Xingchun’s violently trembling eyelashes, but her eyes were full of absent-mindedness.

She deepened the kiss, becoming increasingly focused and invested. Her arms slowly wrapped around his waist.

From shallow to deep, from outside to inside. In just a few minutes, the scene got out of control.

Negative emotions and feelings had been forcibly suppressed for so long. Once released, they were completely uncontrollable.

Reason gradually disintegrated, passionate and intense emotions instantly crossed the warning line, turning into monsters dominated by desire. Fu Xueli felt like a lonely boat adrift in a stormy night, feeling as if her bones would be broken by his tight embrace.

They entangled all the way to the living room, where she was pressed onto the soft sofa, helplessly clinging to Xu Xingchun. He interlaced his fingers with hers, their foreheads pressed together, constantly rubbing.

Fu Xueli felt his burning lips, tearing through the calm, as if wanting to devour her whole.

He slowly traced from her brow, stopping at the hollow of her neck, licking bit by bit, then breathing deeply.

It was eroticism taken to the extreme.

All he murmured softly were her name.

This suddenly gave Fu Xueli a sense of guilt. Wanting to breathe, she took big gulps of air. She squinted at the dizzying light rings above her head, feeling herself gradually sinking.

A scene from many years ago, whether memory or dream, seemed to become increasingly clear before her eyes—

In a bustling commercial building, she received an impromptu invitation from a good friend. Xu Xingchun was beside her, and she made up an excuse, asking him to go buy ice cream cones from the store.

After he went to queue, Fu Xueli slipped away contentedly to go clubbing at a bar. In the taxi, she casually sent a text message to notify Xu Xingchun.

“I’m leaving, Xu Xingchun. Be good on your own, okay.”

A downpour started in the middle of the night. She partied until the wee hours and was sent home by a friend, drunkenly holding someone’s umbrella.

Just as she got out of the car and staggered a few steps, she looked up and saw Xu Xingchun standing at her doorstep, under the pale streetlight of the early morning.

He was soaked through, still holding the long-melted ice cream. He just looked at her calmly, without a ripple.

That was one of the very, very few times in Fu Xueli’s life when she first felt something akin to guilt towards someone.

Fu Xueli.

You asked Xu Xingchun to be good and obedient.

He was good and obedient.

Then he was obediently left behind by you.

—

An idea filled her with fear.

“Xu Xingchun.”

The kiss continued for a long time. Fu Xueli’s voice suddenly became a bit choked, halting, “The porridge last time, and the porridge this time, you made them yourself, didn’t you?”

Hearing her voice, he slowly stopped his actions. Xu Xingchun lowered his eyelids and gave a very light “mm” in response.

More words were ultimately not spoken, swallowed back and hidden in her heart. Fu Xueli’s heart felt a burning pain, “All these years, you haven’t forgotten me, have you?”

Xu Xingchun seemed to know what she was going to say, his voice hoarse as he said self-mockingly, “Go on.”

“Xu Xingchun, you’re so foolish.”

She hugged Xu Xingchun’s waist tightly, wanting to smile but couldn’t, wanting to cry but had no tears. She leaned in, her nose gently rubbing against his ear as she said, “Can you stop loving me?”

How strange.

Why was Xu Xingchun so foolish, constantly hitting a brick wall, not knowing to turn back all these years?

She knew.

He loved her.

He had no temper.

All the coldness he showed her was just naked passion at its core.

So for the first time, she felt that his love for her might be too painful.

In this aspect, she had always lacked self-awareness and self-knowledge.

Fu Chenglin was right.

A person born fickle should just play around wholeheartedly, not forcing themselves to be faithful.

Fu Xueli suddenly began to hate herself.

She was just this kind of thing, unable to control the flaws in her nature. Not at all deserving of others’ kindness towards her.

Xu Xingchun was just a big fool. And an unlucky big fool at that, so single-minded when it came to her.

It was really pitiful.

Even though he would be hurt more deeply, he still chose to exchange it for her fleeting infatuation.

Like a trapped beast in a cage, pretending to be deep and unfathomable, then silently swallowing the bitterness that couldn’t be hidden.