ATLAS TRANSLATES

In the room, both of them fell silent.

After an awkward silence lasting about ten seconds, Fu Xueli couldn’t help but shift her gaze to his face, getting slightly distracted. His eye sockets were slightly sunken, with a moist look in his eyes.

He had faint double eyelids and soft, jet-black hair. His facial features were subtle and sparse, and the collar of his hospital gown was a bit low, revealing his fair shoulder blades and collarbone. It had to be said that his appearance and physique were truly alluring. It would be hard for most women not to like him.

She herself… was often captivated by his beauty. She still hadn’t quite gotten over this habit.

Her gaze lingered on him for a while longer before Fu Xueli forced herself to look away.

She knew that suddenly suggesting to move into his house was inappropriate, really inappropriate. After all, Xu Xingchun and her were just a man and a woman, and they had once had such a complicated relationship…

But she really hadn’t thought much about it just now. They had practically grown up together, and their relationship had long since gone beyond just romance. Romantic love could completely disappear, but their bond couldn’t.

Even if cut off abruptly, the ties and entanglement would remain. Xu Xingchun had been injured for her sake this time, so she couldn’t just ignore it, both emotionally and rationally.

But earlier, she had told him to forget about her and start a new life, and now she was proactively suggesting moving into his house… Even Fu Xueli herself thought she had issues. But words spoken were like water spilled; taking them back now might seem too fickle. If it wasn’t okay, she should still explain a bit.

“Why aren’t you responding? Didn’t you hear me?” she asked.

Xu Xingchun’s face remained expressionless, his gaze neither warm nor cold. His eyelashes fluttered slightly, and after a long while, his gaze fixed on her face. He slowly said, “Which of the things you’ve said to me are true.”

“……”

Suddenly hearing this, Fu Xueli couldn’t tell if his tone was rhetorical or a statement. Was he sarcastically implying that she only lied to him? Or was it a genuine question? Fu Xueli thought to herself that she hadn’t really deceived him that many times…

Xu Xingchun’s cold and calm demeanor always made it hard to know what he was thinking. He was always like this, cold and indifferent, not easily angered. Even when angry, he wouldn’t let others see it.

She was still holding the bowl, and after a few seconds, she didn’t know what to say.

“Speak,” Xu Xingchun frowned, suppressing his breath.

Thinking he was refusing and impatiently urging her, Fu Xueli felt extremely awkward. She explained with some difficulty and embarrassment, “I know you have a cleanliness obsession, and you’re busy, so you don’t like others touching your things. You also don’t want to live at someone else’s place or hire a special nurse. I accidentally overheard that outside, and since my schedule in Shen City is quite free for the next month or two, I thought I’d ask you about it.”

He remained silent and unmoved. She could only continue stammering, not really knowing what she wanted to express, her words jumbled.

“Um, Xu Xingchun, did you misunderstand something? I meant that I’d move out once you’ve recovered. It’s not what you think. You got injured because of me this time, so I just wanted to make it up to you. No, not make it up, but repay you. If you were recovering at home alone and something happened, I’d really feel guilty.”

This speech made Xu Xingchun’s eyes instantly fill with a gloomy shadow, and his expression, which had just normalized, quickly turned cold again.

However, the indescribable stillness and sadness he momentarily revealed were too fleeting to catch.

Fu Xueli moved her mouth, finally squeezing out a sentence, “I’m sorry, if you’re not happy, just take it as a joke. Don’t take it seriously.”

The stagnant air seemed to return to a primitive, motionless state.

Xu Xingchun stared at her, his distinct knuckles tightly clenched, the tendons on the back of his hand taut.

After a long time, he turned his gaze away, looking elsewhere, “…You should go.”

Each word was spoken with difficulty and harshness, as if facing great resistance, almost unable to breathe.

“……”

Fu Xueli wanted to say something, but ultimately swallowed it back just as it was about to come out. Faced with him like this, she seemed to have lost her ability to organize language.

Her usual sharp-tongued and evasive skills had disappeared.

Turning her head away awkwardly, she was ultimately left speechless. She felt that she might have oversimplified things before coming.

“Then I’ll go,” besides this, she couldn’t think of anything else to say.

Silently packing up the bowls and chopsticks, as she was leaving, she glanced at Xu Xingchun.

He seemed extremely tired, lying back against the headboard, his eyes already half-closed, no longer speaking.

Fu Xueli quietly pulled open the door.

After the rustling sounds, accompanied by a soft click, the room returned to silence, once again soundless.

It was very quiet.

So quiet that even breathing could be heard.

After a long time, Xu Xingchun’s chest heaved as he held onto the handle, then pressed against the wall to get out of bed.

The wilted calla lily was accidentally swept to the floor, shattering on the floorboards, with a few petals falling off.

The night sky after the rain was very clear, with sparse streetlights providing a bit of light under the hospital building.

He was too hasty.

He was jealous.

He was unwilling.

From disappointment to despair.

Coveting, enduring, tormenting longing, torturing his conscience — he had loved Fu Xueli so wholeheartedly for over a decade.

After many years, seeing her again, she hadn’t changed much.

But he was still too invested, invested to the point of gradually forgetting what kind of person Fu Xueli was. His emotions shattered and sank at the slightest moment, always uncontrollable, so he deliberately designed one accident after another to make her feel more guilty.

But it was too rushed…

Still too rushed.

Almost in the next second, the next moment he couldn’t resist. She would realize—

She was still trapped in his terrifying, distorted, frightening love.

Then immediately leave without mercy, evade, shirk responsibility.

Fu Xueli never had a sense of responsibility, she loved telling impulsive lies the most. The warmth she gave him, everything she gave him, would one day be given to someone else.

It had never changed.

This love was the ultimate for him, but for her, it was just a boring waste of time she had been used to since childhood.

When it came to being cruel, how could Xu Xingchun possibly compare to Fu Xueli.

The hospital room door wasn’t fully closed and was blown open by the wind. A nurse passed by outside, walking back and forth. Seeing Xu Xingchun standing straight by the window, she didn’t know what he was looking at so intently, maintaining the same posture for so long.

She couldn’t help but lean in to remind him, “Hey, hey, patient, what are you doing? Your leg is in a cast, you can’t stand for long, quickly get back to bed!”

Then, suddenly, a familiar voice rang out, “—Xu Xingchun!”

When this voice sounded, Xu Xingchun’s whole body stiffened before he slowly turned around.

Fu Xueli was supporting herself with one hand on the doorframe, half-bent over and panting, her cheeks already starting to turn red from running.

In the short span of half a second, his expression went through a series of changes, from his brows to the corners of his mouth, before finally barely maintaining a surface level of calmness.

For a moment, he couldn’t say a word.

Fu Xueli was slightly out of breath as she walked in, only then noticing that Xu Xingchun’s complexion was paler than usual, completely bloodless.

“Why did you come back?” His voice had become lower, weak and hoarse.

Fu Xueli unconsciously tightened her lips, staring anxiously and urgently at his seemingly calm face.

Actually, just now, carrying the food bucket and walking out of the hospital building a step or two, on the way to the parking garage, Fu Xueli had been feeling very uncomfortable and started a round of self-analysis.

In the current situation, she really couldn’t quite figure things out.

Although maybe, probably, it was just her being a bit narcissistic in thinking — Xu Xingchun still liked her. But without him personally admitting it, all of this was just her speculation. No matter what, back then when her family ran into trouble, she had vented all the negative emotions onto Xu Xingchun, and the countless breakups and reconciliations she had initiated had left him exhausted, until Xu Xingchun chose to end it by walking away.

She had felt guilty over the years, and even tried to contact Xu Xingchun several times through various means. But when it came down to it, Fu Xueli often chose to avoid it. She knew very clearly what kind of person she was, unable to change her habit of always chasing after new things and getting bored with the old. What Xu Xingchun wanted from beginning to end was nothing more than her loyalty.

And she couldn’t give that.

She wasn’t ready to face that kind of responsibility. Maybe they were just not suitable for each other, with all sorts of incompatible views on relationships.

But honestly, if you asked Fu Xueli if she still liked Xu Xingchun.

She definitely couldn’t give a negative answer. If it wasn’t because she still liked him, how could she have remembered him for so many years?

So Fu Xueli was very afraid that her momentary softening would only bring repeated torment to Xu Xingchun.

But then she remembered Fu Chenglin’s words, no matter what, she owed him. Whether it was from before or now, she should repay it properly before saying goodbye.

Running away like this over and over again wasn’t right.

So Fu Xueli had been engaged in an intense inner struggle, back and forth, feeling like her nerves were splitting. She still chose to go back.

“Um…” Fu Xueli looked at Xu Xingchun, not missing even the slightest emotional change on his face, speaking at an unusually rapid pace, “First, I want to sincerely, very sincerely apologize for any words that might have hurt you before. If you hate me lying, I can try my best to guarantee that I won’t deceive you again in the future.”

Xu Xingchun’s arms fell naturally to his sides, his body swaying slightly. Fu Xueli quickly reached out to support him.

His eyelids were lowered, his spine slightly curved, his gaze fixed low on her. His long, straight black eyelashes cast a thin black shadow, and there seemed to be a blur of mist in his eyes that wouldn’t disperse.

A few seconds later, Fu Xueli refocused her gaze on his eyes and continued speaking, “I can’t promise you anything, but I will try my best to be good to you. If you’re willing to let go and find a better girl, I will bless you too. But right now, I want, I want to start over with you properly, as friends, as classmates, as anything. I don’t know what will happen in the future, but for now, I sincerely want to start over with you.”

“…Start what?” Xu Xingchun’s syllables were still hard to distinguish.

“Whatever you think it is.”

Fu Xueli tried hard to maintain a calm expression and seriously asked again, “So… can Auntie Qi and I stay at your place to take care of you during your recovery period?”

He remained silent for a long time.

But she felt Xu Xingchun’s knuckles naturally relax, very lightly, very lightly, as he grasped her wrist.

Fu Xueli knew.

This time, Xu Xingchun had once again compromised with her without principles.

—

Short side story: Private photos on the phone.

She got her ears pierced today. Her earlobes were very red, but she was scolded by the teacher. She cried terribly. But she looked very pretty.

Christmas. I don’t have an apple. While spinning my pen in class, she stared at my hand for a long time. She likes my hands. Probably me too.

I can’t let on at all that I like Fu Xueli. Because she might want to kiss me, but won’t take responsibility for it.

I’m just a shadow in Fu Xueli’s life. The excitement belongs to them, Xu Xingchun has nothing.

Fu Xueli has low blood sugar. But she eats a lot. My drawer is also stuffed full of her snacks. She glanced at me very frequently in class today. She’s afraid I’ll eat her snacks.

Quote: Adapt to me, need me, get used to me, can’t live without me.

The math teacher’s voice is unpleasant. He’s hard of hearing. I don’t like people calling my name loudly. I like hearing her laugh, but Fu Xueli slept through another afternoon.

She likes to lie and brush people off. She probably never liked me. I was fooled.

Why does she keep ignoring me? Is it because she hates me now? I just told her not to talk to the boys behind her. They’re not even close. It’s hard to bear.

Today she said my eyelashes are very long. I wonder if I could pluck one out and give it to her.

I want her to lick me.

I don’t want to study anymore. I want to do her.