The bedroom light was off, with only faint light filtering through the half-closed door. Behind the light white curtains, the city lights looked like tiny sky lanterns, floating orderly in the dark night sky.
In the complete silence, all senses became more acute. The cool air and burning touches were two extremes, stirring endless tremors.
Tao Zhi’s chin lifted up, her neck stretched long, half-passively accepting his kisses. Her tongue felt numb, and she could hear clear but faint swallowing sounds near her ear.
She half-closed her eyes and in the dim light, saw the photograph hanging by the bedhead.
Large rolling red clouds spread across the light purple sky like spilled ink. Light red waves churned on the sea surface, seemingly rolling into the present moment. All thoughts and her body floated uncontrollably in that tide.
Tao Zhi sniffled, her fingertips tightly gripping the soft sheets as she struggled to lift her head slightly.
Jiang Qi Huai felt her movement and pulled back, raising his head. His eyelashes lowered, the corners of his eyes slightly upturned. His beautiful, clear light brown eyes now appeared dark in the shadows.
He looked at her reddened eye corners and wet black eyes. His jaw tightened as he let out a suppressed breath, his lips against her earlobe as he said hoarsely: “Zhi Zhi.”
Tao Zhi grabbed his shoulders, her gaze following him, searching for him in confusion.
His cold, indifferent features were tinged with desire, his calm, quiet voice becoming heated. He licked his lips, his long beautiful fingers like ignited flames, burning every inch of skin they touched.
Tao Zhi suddenly felt an indescribable exhilaration.
She had never thought Jiang Qi Huai would have a day when he lost control, nor could she imagine what he would look like when he did.
He always appeared rational and calm, always cautious and indifferent, always standing high in the clouds, looking down upon all beings and things.
Tao Zhi suddenly raised her hand.
She hooked his neck and pulled him down, kissing his lips, pulling him down into the mortal world.
…
At one moment, when she couldn’t help but arch her back while clutching the sheets, Jiang Qi Huai suddenly stopped moving.
He lowered his body, lightly pressing on top of her, then held her in his arms and let out an almost inaudible sigh.
Tao Zhi opened her eyes and looked at him puzzled: “What’s wrong?”
Jiang Qi Huai buried his head down and said in a very low voice: “Has it really been half an hour?”
Tao Zhi: “…”
Jiang Qi Huai gently bit her neck as if venting, his voice carrying a faint trace of displeasure and irritation: “It’s passing more slowly than meetings.”
“…”
Tao Zhi burst out laughing.
Tao Zhi couldn’t help it, lying on the bed laughing so hard her slender shoulders shook. She hugged him while laughing, stroking his back: “Why are you in such a hurry, cold and abstinent Jiang Qi Huai?”
Jiang Qi Huai raised his head and squinted at her.
The young girl’s eye corners still showed traces of passion, her lips crimson. She shifted her body up slightly, rubbing his knee with hers, urging: “Hurry up, you promised to serve me, can you do it or not?”
She was truly lawless.
No matter how many years passed, no matter what it was about, she never knew how to exercise restraint.
Jiang Qi Huai lowered his eyes, his fingertips wet and soft.
Tao Zhi’s entire body tensed up into a ball, her previous arrogant smile coming to an abrupt stop.
He lowered his head and kissed her warm, trembling eyelids: “Is this service not good enough?”
She said very softly: “It’s enough.”
Her provocation had been quite effective. Jiang Qi Huai continued as if he hadn’t heard, saying in a slow voice: “Is it really enough?”
Tao Zhi’s fingertips dug into his arms: “Enough, enough.”
Jiang Qi Huai’s eyes were half-lidded: “Already enough?”
Tao Zhi whimpered like a young animal: “Jiang Qi Huai…”
He seemed somewhat dissatisfied: “What should you call me?”
Her voice was trembling: “Your Highness, Your Highness, please…”
Jiang Qi Huai laughed: “Too early to beg.”
Tao Zhi was completely dominated by unfamiliar sensations, drifting hazily in the waves until at one point, a phone ring broke through the room’s ambiance.
They both stopped simultaneously.
Jiang Qi Huai paused for two seconds, then straightened up.
Tao Zhi let out a long breath.
She opened her eyes while clutching the pillow, watching him get off the bed and walk to the bedside, then pull two tissues from the nightstand and unhurriedly wipe his hands.
The limp tissue was tossed aside as Tao Zhi turned her head away with a red face, then pulled down the pillow to cover her eyes.
In the darkness, she listened to him answer the phone while walking out of the bedroom.
After waiting a while, Tao Zhi secretly lifted a corner of the pillow and peeked out.
There was the sound of talking outside, then after a few sentences, the security door closed and Jiang Qi Huai walked in carrying his newly arrived takeout.
He stood by the bed and tossed the takeout bag on it.
Tao Zhi revealed a pair of eyes above the pillow, blinking as she looked at him: “I’ve been thinking, maybe we should stop here for today.”
Jiang Qi Huai emptied the contents from the bag, unhurriedly unwrapping them: “Say something I can understand.”
“I’m satisfied,” Tao Zhi said honestly, “Thank you for your service.”
Jiang Qi Huai nodded, got on the bed, caught her wrist and flipped her over, pinning it down, then kissed her lips: “Then you serve me.”
…
For the entire evening, many details were vague and blurry in Tao Zhi’s memory, except for his voice with its breathless hoarseness, calling her name again and again as if addicted, and her completely ineffective pleas.
He was extremely gentle and restrained, yet coldly forceful as he kissed her forehead and eye corners repeatedly, biting her earlobes and lips.
Like a long-repressed beast finally freed from its cage, he confined her, devouring her, eating elegantly and slowly.
He moved his food from the bed to the window and then to the bathroom, placing her on the washstand, watching her confused yet alluring expression in the mirror, listening to her soft voice calling him, gradually drawing out all his hidden addiction and violence.
She pulled the god into the mortal realm, then offered herself as a sacrifice to the deity, completing the purest ritual.
In the deep night, Jiang Qi Huai carried her into the bathroom and washed her clean from head to toe.
As the warm water washed over her, Tao Zhi let out a long comfortable sigh. She hung on him like a sloth, tugged at his half-wet black hair, and said in a lazy, slightly hoarse voice: “Jiang Qi Huai.”
Jiang Qi Huai made a sound, his voice carrying the languid satisfaction of one who had eaten his fill: “Mm?”
“I wronged you,” Tao Zhi said, “You really are capable.”
Jiang Qi Huai: “…”
Tao Zhi sincerely praised him: “I’m very satisfied.”
“…”
Tao Zhi thought for a moment and continued: “Except for the first time.”
“…”
Jiang Qi Huai hung the shower head back on the wall and sighed: “Be quiet for a while, doesn’t your throat hurt?”
“A little bit,” Tao Zhi pouted, saying softly, “I want some water.”
Jiang Qi Huai wrapped her in a towel and dried her off, carried her out of the bathroom, put her on the bed, then turned to go get water.
The water that had just boiled in the kitchen had now cooled down to a drinkable warmth. When he returned to the bedroom with the water glass, he saw Tao Zhi sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at the bed surface with some disgust.
He handed her the glass: “What’s wrong?”
Tao Zhi took it and gulped down half a glass before saying: “I don’t want to sleep on this bed.”
Jiang Qi Huai readily agreed: “You can sleep on the couch.”
“…”
Tao Zhi looked at him shocked: “Can’t you say something human? Is this how you treat me now?”
She pointed at the messy bed and said: “Can’t you change the sheets?”
Jiang Qi Huai raised an eyebrow: “I thought you said this bed would remind you of not-so-pleasant memories.”
Tao Zhi handed him the water glass, reluctantly admitting: “I wouldn’t say it wasn’t pleasant.”
Jiang Qi Huai looked at her slightly reddened face and gave a low laugh.
Tao Zhi was a bit annoyed.
He walked to the wardrobe, opened the door, pulled out a new set of sheets, and lifted his chin: “Wait aside for a moment.”
Tao Zhi obediently got off the bed and sat in the small single armchair by the window, propping her chin as she watched him pull off the sheets and throw them on the floor, replacing them with new ones: “Jiang Qi Huai.”
“Mm.”
“Were you unhappy today?” Tao Zhi suddenly asked.
Looking at his behavior tonight, he didn’t seem drunk either.
Jiang Qi Huai paused, smoothed out the wrinkles in the sheets, and turned his head.
He sat on the bed and raised his hand toward her: “Come here.”
Tao Zhi bounced over and crawled into his embrace.
He had a very pleasant scent, not some common brand of men’s perfume, but laundry detergent mixed with his own scent, clean and cold like his entire person.
Tao Zhi really loved his scent.
She hugged his waist and buried her head in his embrace, nuzzling.
Jiang Qi Huai let her nuzzle: “Are you a puppy?”
Tao Zhi wrinkled her nose: “So were you unhappy?”
Jiang Qi Huai held her, his fingers playing with her slightly damp hair ends, his chin resting on top of her head: “Mm, not very happy.”
Tao Zhi held his other hand in her arms, playing with his fingers: “Why weren’t you happy?”
Jiang Qi Huai pulled the towel off her body, then grabbed the blanket and wrapped her in it, saying slowly: “I feel like I did something cruel to you.”
Tao Zhi strongly agreed with this statement.
She nodded deeply and said gravely: “You should have stopped when I gave in earlier.”
Jiang Qi Huai: “…”
Tao Zhi accused him: “You’re really too cruel.”
Jiang Qi Huai’s lips curved slightly: “Is that what you mean?”
“Then what did you mean?” Tao Zhi was puzzled.
Jiang Qi Huai lowered his head and said very calmly: “I was thinking, maybe I should have given you an explanation back then.”
Tao Zhi froze, staring at him blankly.
Jiang Qi Huai wondered if he would have made a completely different choice back then, had he been more confident that someday in the future, he would be lucky enough to hold her in his arms again.
He was too young then, too immature, always prone to overthinking some things and underthinking others.
He would worry about the past, plan for the future, make what he thought were rational choices, but forgot about honesty, forgot about the present moment, forgot whether these choices might hurt the person he wanted to protect.
Jiang Qi Huai gently lifted her up slightly, his head against her neck, his voice very low, almost like a murmur: “I was thinking, if I had been as brave as my Zhi Zhi back then, maybe I wouldn’t have made you cry.”
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