When Fu Junyan took off his sunglasses at the security check, the security lady was visibly excited. I heard her say, “Hello, I’m your fan. Can you sign an autograph for me?” Then Fu Junyan amiably took the pen. At that time, I oddly thought, sign my name! Sign my name! Wouldn’t it be amusing to see the security lady’s shock and horror after her excitement, upon seeing the three characters “Gu Baobei”? Wouldn’t that be fun?
I kept hiding in the corner of the crowd, watching until the departure time of the plane Fu Junyan was taking, before standing up to leave the airport hall. But strangely, I felt a bit lost after he left.
However, I didn’t expect to be stopped by a group of paparazzi before even leaving the airport. As soon as they recognized me, they aggressively asked, “Miss Gu, are you here to pick up Jay?” “What’s your relationship with Jay?” “What’s your view on the situation between him and his manager Xu Mei?” … It was so sudden that I was completely unprepared. The flashing lights hurt my eyes, and they kept crowding me, making me retreat. I was totally flustered.
I said a little angrily, “Sorry, you’ve got it wrong. I came to see a friend off. I don’t know what you’re asking about.”
“Reportedly, you had issues with Jay’s manager Xu Mei on the set of ‘Regretful Love’. Is it true that you’re the reason for the falling out between Jay and Xu Mei?”
“I’m sorry, I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” Hearing his questioning, my head buzzed tensely, feeling only annoyance.
These questions I had heard countless times in my past life. In my past life, they gnawed at me like poison, leaving me perpetually suffocating in misery. Jay and Xu Mei clearly only had an artist-manager relationship. It was clearly Xu Mei’s morbid one-sided love for Jay. But later, just because she had been by Jay’s side since his debut, just because she could cry, make a scene, argue, and threaten suicide, when Xu Mei stepped forward to accuse me of being a homewrecker, a vixen, everyone believed it. That was my nightmare back then. Having my lover snatched away, being insulted and deeply hurt, suffering all that grievance – what a nightmare.
I was pushed all the way to the wall. The video cameras bumped into me several times. I had to desperately tilt my head back to narrowly avoid them. At this moment, all the grievances, anger, and frustrations welling up inside me surged forth. I clenched my fists behind my back and tightly shut my eyes to suppress my rage. I let myself calm down for a few seconds before opening my eyes again to look at the cameras and microphones in front of me. Slowly, I said, “I’ll repeat one more time. I don’t understand what you’re asking. I simply came to the airport to see a friend off. Your current behavior is scaring me. Please let me go home, thank you!”
In the end, it was the cameraman who nearly hit me that made way first. I smiled at him gratefully. As I left, he kept saying, “Sorry about just now.”
I said, “It’s okay, thank you.”
If it weren’t for my fans reposting Jay’s announcement, I wouldn’t have known at all that the airport scene was broadcasted in its entirety. I also didn’t expect that my flushed eyes from anger would be perceived by the public as holding back tears of grievance. My words “I’m very scared” also triggered the protective instincts of the masses.
Wan Qing was quite angry, repeatedly asking me why I didn’t tell her about my private actions. I found it strange. I didn’t have work these past few days. Even if she’s my manager, it doesn’t mean she manages my private life too, right? But it was indeed trouble I inadvertently brought upon myself, so I still apologized.
When Fang Dingyue found out about this, he immediately updated his Weibo. He said, “Regarding the rumors of Xiao’ai having issues with Xu, I think I can clarify. I once requested leave from the crew due to family matters. Xu intentionally made things difficult then. Xiao’ai stood up for me at the time, leading to some small friction with Xu. Xiao’ai is just an 18-year-old girl. She’s taking care of her 2-year-old brother alone. Life is very tough for her. During filming, besides work, she’s focused on caring for her young brother. Those malicious slanders don’t exist. Also, a bunch of people cornering a vulnerable woman with long lenses doesn’t seem very righteous.”
Dingyue-ge is awesome! In my heart I had a long speech, but in the end I still only replied with two reserved words: “Thank you!”
Jay’s later announcement on his official website was also simple. He said, “I have no romantic relationship with my manager Xu Mei. I express my deepest condolences and well wishes for her work-related injury, and will cover all her future medical expenses. I’ve been grateful for her care since my debut until now, and will not pursue legal responsibility for her defamation. I apologize to Miss Gu Baobei for alarming her due to my involvement.”
Then I went online to look up what exactly happened with Jay and Xu Mei. After reading, I felt Xu Mei had indeed gone a bit “crazy”. When Xu Mei found out she would be paralyzed from the waist down, unable to recover, and unable to return to Jay’s side due to the car accident, she desperately sought out paparazzi to expose that she and Jay were lovers, and that Jay had started to waver due to another woman’s interference. After her accident, Jay had heartlessly abandoned her for someone new.
As luck would have it, Jay coincidentally took a flight that morning. My appearance at the same airport as him unfortunately implicated me. After some thought, I left a comment under his announcement. I said, “It’s okay. But Jay! Being popular isn’t a blessing but a sickness! I got shot just lying down!” He quickly called me. He said, “Xiao’ai, I’m sorry. I didn’t expect to drag you into this.”
“It’s fine. But what’s going on with you and Xu Mei?”
“I don’t know either. That day when I went to see her at the hospital, she suddenly questioned why it took me so long to visit. Was it because I fell in love with someone else? I felt something was off with her then, but I figured she might just be in shock, so I didn’t take it to heart. But later, the way she looked at me grew increasingly strange. Feeling it was inappropriate, I asked the doctors to examine her again. But the doctors said there was no problem, just emotional instability. Later, when I went to the hospital, she held my hand again saying she loved me, that she had fallen in love with me long ago. She’s a full seven years older than me. I’ve always respected her like an elder sister! Then it somehow turned into the current situation amidst the chaos.”
But hearing all this, I understood. I couldn’t help curling my lips in a cold smile.
“She truly loves you. She just discovered she’s at the end of her rope, jumping the wall in desperation…” I said softly.
In my past life, Xu Mei was constantly by Jay’s side, playing the long game of time, endurance and emotions. Now, she’s been with Jay for less than three years. With her health failing and inability to stay by his side under a work pretext, of course she’s desperately jumping the wall. When obsessive love turns demonic, seeing the loved one drifting further away while unable to keep up – naturally one would go crazy… I recalled how in my past life, she had Jay’s child as an older mother. I suddenly felt fate toying with people.
“Xiao’ai, what did you say?”
“Nothing. I said you should handle it well. No need to apologize to me. It has nothing to do with me.” It truly had nothing to do with me. I’m living very happily now.
Fu Junyan called me in the middle of the night. I was half asleep when I pressed the answer button and heard him say, “Xiao’ai, it’s me.”
“You’ve arrived?”
“Xiao’ai, are you scared?”
“Huh?” I was still dazed and slow to react. After a while, I realized he was talking about the airport incident. So I said, “I wasn’t scared. I didn’t cry from fright. My eyes were red from anger.”
“I know. I meant, when you turned around that day and didn’t see me, were you scared?” That day, when I was cornered by the paparazzi, I instinctively turned around wanting to look for him. But no one noticed that subtle action of mine. Yet he understood…
“Yeah, I was scared…” I answered softly, burying my face in the pillow.
“Then be good. I’ll be back soon. Be good and go to sleep…”
Later, I didn’t hang up, and neither did he. I just held the phone and entered dreamland again.
“Fang Dingyue speaks up for love, being the first to protect his beloved.” Looking at the newspaper in my hand, I felt awkward. But little Gu An still bobbed his little head over to join in the fun, pointing at Fang Dingyue’s photo in the newspaper and foolishly laughing, “Yue-yue! Sister, look! It’s Yue-yue! Yue-yue!”
“Yes! It’s Yue-yue! An’an is so smart.” I patted An’an’s wobbling little head while picking up his schoolbag for him. I looked at the front page of the newspaper and sighed that being popular really is a sickness…
Gradually, I left the center of the incident. With everyone’s support and Jay’s intentional distancing, the rumors started revolving around just Jay and Xu Mei again. I felt like I was watching a farce with a known ending, finding it both laughable and pitiful.
They say that young children should bathe more often. Because in mommy’s tummy, the baby is soaked in water, so the child should be in more contact with water too. I insist on bathing little Gu An almost every day. The little guy likes to play with squeaky rubber ducks in the tub during bubble baths. And every time, An’an refuses to get out of the tub, clinging to it stubbornly. Yet he says very pitifully, “An’an is good. An’an is very good.”
Originally, when Fu Junyan was around, every time he lightly said, “An’an, get up,” little Gu An would quickly climb out of the tub, grab a towel and lift his face for Fu Junyan to dry him off. But when I call him, the little guy pretends not to hear, playing with bubbles in his palms, then holds up his hands and waves them at me saying, “Sister, play bubbles!” It’s like he knows I can’t bear to scold him.
Finally one day, I answered a call and turned back around to see little Gu An had actually brought Xiao Qi into the tub. The boy and dog splashed around in the water, the two little guys causing a flood in the whole bathroom. By the time I managed to get them out, I was completely drenched. But An’an and Xiao Qi seemed to have gotten a taste for it, and the same situation played out again the next day.
After a few times, I finally got angry. That day, I plucked An’an out of the water and spanked his little bottom twice. Little Gu An, not sure if he was really hurt or just frightened, wailed loudly as soon as I spanked him. I knew I didn’t use much force but still felt some distress at his cries. At this time, Xiao Qi, who had also been causing a ruckus in the tub, had already jumped out of the tub and run off very perceptively.
Later, I thought about it more and got angry again. In the end, I ignored the crying Gu An with a stern face. I dressed him, then made him stand in the corner with Xiao Qi for a while as punishment.
Afterwards, I took a photo of the bathroom that was wrecked again and had no choice but to consult my fans: “An’an is getting smarter but also making me more conflicted. The little guy has sneakily brought Xiao Qi into the bathroom to take bubble baths together in the tub countless times. I said, ‘Gu An’an, if you do this again, your sister will get angry.’ But he still looked up at me innocently and told me, ‘Good friends should share…’ He also seems to know I can’t bear to scold him. I only lightly spanked his little bottom twice before he started wailing. I had no choice but to make him and Xiao Qi stand in the corner as punishment. Infinitely miserable that I have to stay up late wiping the tiles again…”
I don’t know if it’s because of little Gu An, but in this life I have a ton of mommy-level and grandma-level fans1. Whenever I post something related to An’an, it gets very popular. Like when Xu Mei hinted that I was a third party, many mommy-level fans stood up to say, “This child wouldn’t do such a thing.” It reminds me of that saying that children can purify people’s hearts.
The next day, little Gu An came back after finishing his music lesson with his dad. He ran in with pitter-pattering steps. Seeing that I had my back turned and was ignoring him, he stood there with his head down for a long time. Suddenly, he ran back out the door with pitter-pattering steps again and stood in the doorway, loudly shouting while holding his little schoolbag, “Sister, you’re back! You’re back!”
I turned around in surprise, not knowing what act he was putting on. Little Gu An looked quite pleased to see me turn around. He grinned, showing his dimples, then oddly twisted his little waist and started singing, “Elephant! Elephant! Why is your nose so long?” Crayon Shin-chan!? Then, little Gu An blinked his big eyes at Xiao Qi who crawled out from behind me and very lecherously called out, “Xiao Bai, you’re back…”
I was going crazy! I carried An’an inside, sat him down, and put his little snacks on the table for him to eat. Then I hid in the bedroom, took out my phone and called his dad. I said, “Dad, stop teaching An’an random things! Try letting him watch Crayon Shin-chan again!”
As a result, his dad coolly said, “Baobei, do you not feel the child’s happiness? Your cousin and I also told him that good things should be shared with friends!”
I finally found the culprit! I gritted my teeth. It’s clear dad must be bored lately. So I quickly called my cousin, tearfully complaining to him and requesting urgent reinforcements. Whether it’s an auction somewhere or ancient relics being dug up somewhere, dear God, please take dad away for a few days soon. Otherwise, little Gu An is going to rebel!
The preliminary script for “Black Cinderella” has been delivered to me. The female lead, Bai Yan, was born into a happy family. They were well-off and she had loving parents and a doting older brother. Bai Yan was the family’s little daughter. Her mother liked to dress her up as an adorable little princess. She had cabinets full of Barbie dolls. Happy Bai Yan would sit in her mother’s arms every day, holding those pretty Barbie dolls and telling them stories. But everything changed in the year she turned seven.
That day, her parents took the two kids to have a picnic. Bai Yan saw a few large birds perched on the small island in the middle of the lake and curiously wanted to go see. But dad and brother were both sound asleep under the shade of a tree. So the obedient girl turned to find her mom, who was sewing gloves for her, wanting mom to take her to see.
Bai Yan’s mother was very gentle and doted on her children. Seeing her daughter’s curiosity, she put down her task and held little Bai Yan’s hand, walking towards the lakeshore. But little Bai Yan, who had been staring at the small island in the lake the whole time, didn’t watch her step carefully because of it. She tripped on a large rock hidden in a pile of grass. With this fall, the Barbie doll in her hand fell into the water. The child was too young to know if it was dangerous or not. Seeing her beloved Barbie doll fall into the water, little Bai Yan wanted to pick it up, so she also fell into the lake.
All mothers will love their children unconditionally. Bai Yan’s mother was the same. So at that time, she jumped into the lake without hesitation to save her daughter. But she herself drowned.
So this family underwent earth-shattering changes. Bai Yan’s father no longer hugged her. Bai Yan’s brother pointed at her and said, “Jinx. You killed mom! I hate you! I hate you!”
Then her father married a new mom, and the new mom brought a daughter too. That girl was older than her but younger than her brother. Dad loved the new mom, and brother doted on the new sister. Bai Yan’s room, her flower dresses, her Barbie dolls were all given to the new sister. She only secretly kept the doll that nearly drowned with her, as if clinging to it and never letting it leave her side from then on.
In the blink of an eye, over a decade passed. The next time she appears, as she steps into that resplendent villa, the small bag she carries is worn, and the shirt she wears is also old and cheap. She is this family’s Cinderella, Bai Yan. She grew up amidst her relatives’ resentment and neglect – the black Cinderella.
This is an idol drama, but it’s actually also a story revealing the multi-faceted nature of humanity. So when I truly saw the outline of this story, my mood was very heavy.
One day, the director even specifically called to ask me, “Xiao’ai, you’ll need to wear black contact lenses. Bai Yan’s eyes should be black. Also, would you mind dyeing your hair black and straightening it?” Since it was what the role required, I naturally agreed. But looking at my big wavy curls, my heart still felt a bit reluctant to part with them.
- This is directly translated from “????????” (m?m? jí wàipó jí f?ns?); a Chinese phrase used to describe fans who are typically older women, often mothers or grandmothers. Potentially doting on their favorite celebrities similar to maternal figures. ↩︎
Leave a Reply