ATLAS TRANSLATES

Little Gu An was very well-behaved. Although at first he cried for his mother, ever since the day Fu Junyan took him into the room for a private talk and the little guy cried his heart out, he never asked me for his mother again. I asked Fu Junyan what exactly he said to the little guy, but he just shook his head. I guessed that maybe he told An’an something like “Mommy went to work far away and will come back when An’an grows up”…

But in the first few days, An’an liked to stick to me when sleeping at night. Seeing his tiny arms still tightly hugging my waist even though he was already fast asleep always made my heart ache. I tried to recall carefully for a long time. The day before I was reborn, I didn’t encounter a car accident, but I did drive on that road. Later, I went back to Italy again and tried to find An’an and his mother, but they had already disappeared without a trace. But if I remember correctly, there was indeed a chain car accident on that road not long before in my previous life. At that time, I was already on set, and I heard the staff sighing that there were no survivors. Thinking about it this way, could it be that before I was reborn, Gu Xiaoan had already passed away due to this disaster? Thinking this, I felt a sense of grief and cherished this child even more…

I don’t know what rebirth is like for other people, but in the days that followed, whether it was the Gu family, the Xiao family, the Mo family, or grandaunt’s bank, they all developed very well. Although there were some bumps in the road, they were making steady progress. It seemed like there wasn’t much I could do. As for my acting career, apart from later filming a few trashy movies and getting scolded badly, it wasn’t too miserable. The only thing was Jay. The story with him was a long rainy season in my life. From the moment the sky turned gloomy, it never cleared up again. I was in a bad mood, feeling irritable and bitter, and I never managed to escape from it…

Fortunately, now I have An’an. Because of An’an, I was busy taking care of him and had much fewer opportunities to interact with Jay compared to my previous life. Several times when he came to find me to rehearse lines, it was disrupted into a mess by little Gu Xiaoan.

An’an was really well-behaved and very likable. He would hold his own little spoon to eat, and before eating, he would hold up his bib and wait for you, blinking his big eyes waiting for you to tie it for him.

When going to the bathroom, he would suddenly stand up straight, stretch out both hands and shout, “Jiejie! An’an pee!” But there was one time when An’an was on set and we were in the middle of filming, the little guy suddenly shouted, “Jiejie, An’an pee!” Little Qi also barked along with him. Old John’s face instantly turned black, his beard trembling with anger. I hurriedly carried him and ran out. It was the usually cold Tingxue who laughed first, then the whole set erupted in laughter.

Although An’an was already over two years old, he still liked to drink milk from a baby bottle. I found this very puzzling and wondered if drinking milk from a bottle made it taste better. One night at 11 PM, I went downstairs to get water. In a moment of confusion, I also picked up An’an’s bottle and took a few sips. At that moment, I turned my head and saw Gu Junyan wearing a simple white tracksuit, standing by the door looking at me with an ambiguous smile. I was extremely embarrassed and choked violently. The next day, when he prepared the milk powder and handed me the milk in a glass, I always felt that the slight upward curve of his good-looking lips was laughing at me.

I asked many people and finally found a tailor shop in Chinatown to custom-make a small quilt for An’an. As a result, when the little quilt I ordered was delivered, Fu Junyan also walked in carrying a small quilt. We stood at the door facing each other, left and right, and couldn’t help but smile at each other. I thought at the time, we actually had the same idea? This is good! We can treat it as having an extra quilt to change…

But from that day on, An’an stopped sleeping with me. He and Little Qi, a child and a dog, each dragged a small quilt and slept on the big bed. An’an’s soft hair rested on Little Qi’s belly, gently rising and falling with his breathing. At that time, Fu Junyan raised his index finger to his lips, signaling me to be quiet, then tiptoed over to tuck them in with the small quilts. But I stood by the door for a long time, unable to recover. For some reason, my eyes became moist.

“They get along so well.” After closing the door, I couldn’t help but sigh.

“Dogs are very smart animals. If you treat them well, they will also treat you well. Children are pure and more easily feel kindness.” As Fu Junyan spoke, he naturally took my hand and led me to the kitchen counter, making me a cup of warm milk and handing it to me. He continued, “Dogs are very loyal. If you treat them well for a moment, they will treat you well for a lifetime. So it’s very worthwhile. Xiao’ai, you don’t need to be afraid of it.”

I was very surprised that Fu Junyan could tell I was afraid of animals. I thought I had hidden it well enough. But facing him, my heart also became at ease. I took a sip of milk before saying, “I’m not afraid of Little Qi.”

“Mm, Xiao’ai is really smart.” He laughed and then spoke to me in the same tone he used with An’an.

“The way you are, how are you like Xiao Moxiao?” I thought of Dad again. Dad definitely wouldn’t be so gentle with everything like him.

“What do you think Xiao Moxiao should be like?” Fu Junyan asked me, his tone very serious.

I thought for a moment and raised my eyes to ask him, “What do you think Xiao Moxiao would say after seeing this TV series?”

Hearing this, he looked at me deeply for a moment, then took my hand and walked towards the inner room. To be honest, despite living in this villa for so long, I had never carefully observed this house. Now it was late at night and quiet, and I felt a bit flustered in my heart. I scared myself and instead grabbed his hand nervously and asked, “Where are you taking me?”

He smiled and, understanding, held my hand tightly and said reassuringly, “Don’t be afraid, we’re going to the media room. I want to show you something.”

I nodded and let him lead me. In the days of interacting with him, I found that Gu Junyan had an innate ability to warm people’s hearts. It wasn’t because he took great care of An’an, nor because he had a dog, Little Qi, that was very human-like. It wasn’t because the food he cooked was delicious, nor because he would hand me warm milk. In any case, I’m not sure… why…

After Fu Junyan led me into the media room, he only turned on a small light in the room. I followed the light and sat cross-legged on a comfortable spot on the rug. He smiled, turned around and handed me a throw pillow. I took it, put the empty glass aside, hugged the pillow and watched him bend over to adjust the projector.

Fu Junyan’s profile was very handsome, as delicate and exquisite as a woman’s. His eyelashes were long and dense. Looking at him made one think of a line of poetry they had read before – “dark shadows under emerald eyes”. He really was like an ink painting, looking good and pure even after years had passed.

He sat down beside me and the footage began. It was video from over 20 years ago. I spotted my dad sitting in the corner at a glance. His proud and handsome face was expressionless. The man at the very front announced, “I don’t want anyone to hurt Xinyao anymore. I know we are your idols and you like us, but don’t you also have boyfriends and girlfriends? I hope that no more incidents of hurting her will happen again, otherwise all five of us will quit the entertainment industry!”

Fu Junyan explained on the side, “This is Kimura Jin.” I nodded. In my previous life, I had seen their photos, but never thought to look at video footage. Seeing such a lively and unrestrained Kimura Jin, his love was expressed so blatantly that he could be considered an infatuated man. But thinking that in the end, he died for Mommy, there was an indescribable sadness in my heart.

As I was thinking, my gaze finally fell on Dad in the video. The expression on his face was always bland, with a hint of boredom. But the corners of his lips were pursed and his eyes unreadable, only appearing frivolous. But I knew Dad was angry. Sure enough, he suddenly spoke up, as if looking down on everything, and sarcastically said, “Sick people should go to the hospital, that’s the routine.”

As a public figure, saying such words, it was no wonder everyone called Dad the “Hornet” of the entertainment industry back then, not to be provoked. I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“This is Xiao Moxiao.”

I nodded and turned my head to look at Fu Junyan in the dim light from the screen, smiling and saying, “Fu Junyan, you look as fair and beautiful as a pearl, incredibly good-looking. But Xiao Moxiao, he’s a madman at heart. How can a gentle person like you become crazy like him?” I thought of Dad and then of Fu Junyan, drawing a big X in my heart.

Fu Junyan didn’t reply when he heard this. He just told me to keep watching the next part of the video. He said, “Xiao’ai, watch carefully, this is your scene.”

The screen turned completely black, and the stage remained unlit. Slowly, the big screen lit up and that man appeared on it, the man named Kimura Jin. The screen repeatedly showed photos of him and Gu Xinyao, as well as their happy smiles at birthday parties. Then there was a recording of him saying that he watched her, yearned for her, waited for her, loved her. He asked her, this proud man loved by tens of thousands of people humbly asked her, could she turn around and look at him? Could she spare him a glance? He would always follow her, only asking her to look at him once. For a lifetime, he only wished to be by her side. He asked her to marry him.

I couldn’t help but feel a sour swelling in my eyes, and in the video, there was already the sound of crying. Fu Junyan slowly said, “This was Rainbow’s last concert. At that time, the leader Kimura Jin had already passed away in a car accident while trying to save Gu Xinyao. But in the end, the remaining four members still decided to show this video that had been prepared long ago.”

The big screen gradually dimmed and an ethereal female voice slowly rose: “Why do you only look at faraway places? I’m standing right by your side! If you just turn your head slightly, you’ll be able to see me. At first, I was happy just being able to see you. But this constant waiting made me unable to imagine never being able to see you again.”

Then light beams gradually lit up on the stage and Gu Xinyao stood in the very center, wearing a white dress. She sang so beautifully, so quietly. Her deep blue eyes were full of mist, but not a single tear fell. She only sang in a tone of lament, so low and slow: “I’ve always stood behind you, but why can you never see me? As long as you’re by my side, even if I can only look at you, I will love you forever. Every night I dream of you, dream of being with you. But you’ll never know the pain that follows. I’ve always stood behind you, but how come you can never see me? Then let it be like this! Just being by your side is already enough. Please let me love you forever.” At the end of the song, until she slowly closed her eyes, in the last moment before the light beams disappeared, I saw the trembling of her fingertips and the tears that slid down her cheeks.

“This is the love song Kimura Jin wrote to propose to Gu Xinyao, but unfortunately, he’s no longer here. No one expected that at that concert, Gu Xinyao would be the one to sing this song herself…”

Then the camera panned and the footage actually showed Dad standing at the side of the stage. I had never seen such a vulnerable expression on him, as if he was a dazed and immature infant, easily crushed.

“I think at that time, he had already discovered that he had fallen in love with Gu Xinyao…” Saying this, Fu Junyan paused the video and stood up to turn on the lights.

I didn’t know when I had already started crying. So when the light came on, my first instinct was to hide. But in the next second, he pulled me into his arms. Fu Junyan used his fingertips to wipe away my tears and sighed, “Silly child, what are you crying for?” As he spoke, he stared intently at my face. I foolishly let him look, and heard him actually sigh, “John is so lucky, how did he find you? Xiao’ai, you look so much like her…” His tone made my heart tremble.

Then he had me sit properly and turned around to hand me some tissues before saying, “At first, Xiao Moxiao just didn’t like the look of Gu Xinyao. He looked at her from a high position. They were both from wealthy families, and he had always been proud and excellent at everything since he was young. He played the violin extremely well. As a result, this girl effortlessly criticized his music as not good. He was petty and held a grudge. Later, after joining the group, he learned more about this girl’s story. At first, he was just testing her, watching with the mentality of a spectator. But how could it be just an actor immersing in their role, even the spectator can shed tears. Maybe it was at that press conference, maybe it was at this concert, he had gradually fallen in love with this infatuated, stubborn yet sorrowful girl. So he was just a stubborn and awkward child who didn’t know how to love. He put himself in a shell, secretly poking his head out to look at the outside world, thinking this way he wouldn’t get hurt. But he didn’t know, it was because he got hurt that he never dared to come out of his shell.”

Saying this, he smiled, the corners of his eyes lifting slightly in a very good-looking way. He slowly said to me, “If Xiao Moxiao saw this drama, he would definitely say, this drama was well made, telling those rascals out there who owed debts of romanticism to hurry up and sort out their family affairs. But secretly, he would only say, Xinyao, I miss you very much.”

I was shocked and couldn’t say a word. The tragic love story of Gu Xinyao and Mo Qian was only because the sins of the previous generation were visited upon the descendants. The messy relationships of the parents led to the parents and children mistakenly thinking they were biological siblings, resulting in a pseudo-incestuous tragedy. So when Dad finished watching this drama back then, he only said one thing: “It’s best if it gets popular, so that couples walking on the street won’t turn out to be long-lost biological siblings. Let those who did immoral things hurry up and clean up their households.” But turning around, he really only secretly said, “Xinyao, I miss you, I miss you so much…”

“You…”

“Guessed correctly?”

I nodded but thought in my heart, this person Fu Junyan, why does it seem like nothing can stump him? My heart was even more looking forward to acting opposite him!

The next day when I entered the studio, because Fu Junyan and I were filming our first scene, An’an also got up early and was carried to the set while still drowsy. Little Qi also had no energy and followed lazily behind. As usual, I hung An’an’s small backpack on the chair and sat down holding An’an. The little guy kissed my face and softly called out in a sleepy voice, “Jiejie, morning.” By the time I finished getting my makeup done and came out, Little Qi was already curled up on the ground. An’an had also somehow sprawled on top of Little Qi’s back, and the two little ones were snoring together in their sleep. I was both helpless and amused. Afraid that An’an would get cold, I quickly found a few blankets to cover him and made sure to pad the area around Little Qi, in case An’an rolled off.

I had never seen Fu Junyan’s appearance after he got into character, so when he walked into the studio, along with the sound of gasps, I also started staring at him in a daze. My head started buzzing and that sentence kept popping up: ‘Fu Junyan ah, if he looks at you, just one glance. If you look back, you will give your whole life to him.’