Chapter 34: Eating Candy Can Make You Happy
On Monday’s flag-raising ceremony, Xu Si arrived at the playground just in time.
“Hey, hey, hey, don’t go,” He Guoshi pushed up his glasses and said to Xu Si, “Why aren’t you wearing your school uniform?”
“It’s being washed.”
“Why don’t you wash yourself? How many times do I have to say it? You must wear your uniform for Monday’s flag-raising ceremony. Why does it go in one ear and out the other? Go write an 800-word self-criticism and submit it to me.”
“Got it.” Xu Si stood at the back of his class.
He Guoshi gave an impassioned speech at the podium. He had been talking for thirty minutes with no sign of stopping.
Yang Shikun commented, “Old He is as consistent as ever.”
Hao Ming replied, “Isn’t that the truth?”
Xu Si remained expressionless and silent.
Then it was time for last semester’s outstanding student representative to speak. All that talk about thanking teachers and parents – Yang Shikun had heard it all before. After what felt like forever, it finally ended.
Monday morning saw many students dozing off in class. He Guoshi had somehow slipped to the front of the classroom. Looking at all the sleeping students, he banged on the desk: “This should be your most energetic years, how can you sleep all day?”
Someone replied weakly from below: “Tired.”
“Spring drowsiness, autumn fatigue, summer naps – as long as you’re lazy, you’ll always be tired. Don’t make excuses, understand? There’s an exam this Friday, you can start reviewing now, students. Stop sleeping. Don’t just be giants in thought – take action. If I remember correctly, your class ranked last in the previous exam. Work hard – in senior year, some of you might still make it to university. I don’t want to see any of you picking through garbage in the future.”
Yang Shikun responded: “Director He, it surely won’t come to picking through garbage.”
He Guoshi retorted: “If you don’t study hard, you’ll end up picking through vegetable leaves at the market.”
Yang Shikun: “…”
He Guoshi kept talking until the class bell rang. He smiled at the incoming teacher and stepped out, calling from outside: “No more sleeping!” Then he spotted Xu Si sitting at the back and added, “Remember to give me your self-criticism.”
“Got it,” Xu Si replied.
“What self-criticism, Si-ge?”
Xu Si lifted his eyelids slightly and said flatly, “For not wearing the uniform.”
“Oh, okay.” Jiang Qian watched as Xu Si pulled out a piece of paper from his drawer and only wrote two characters for “self-criticism” in half a class period.
“I didn’t wear my school uniform today, seriously violating school rules and discipline. I now deeply recognize my mistake, and I promise…” As she spoke beside him, Xu Si looked up at Jiang Qian and wrote down her words.
“How do you seem so experienced at this?”
Jiang Qian: “Never written one before, but isn’t this how self-criticisms are usually written?”
Xu Si was quiet for a moment before saying, “Thanks, classmate.”
He spent most of the class period piecing together the self-criticism. When he turned his head, he found Jiang Qian still working on math problems. Good students really never stop studying.
After lunch, Xu Si heard someone in class say someone was looking for him outside. As soon as he went out, he saw Shen Yuchun waiting.
“Xiao Si.”
Xu Si looked at Shen Yuchun and pulled her aside: “When will you ever stop? You said you just wanted to see me once, and you’ve seen me, right? Can you please stop disturbing my life? I’m begging you, okay?”
Shen Yuchun held something in her hands: “I don’t mean anything else, I just worried you weren’t eating well, so I came to bring you food.”
“First, I don’t need anything from you. Second, I’m doing very well now and don’t need you disturbing me. Third, stop appearing in front of me.” After speaking, Xu Si walked away.
Most people in class had started their noon break. Xu Si didn’t go back; he went to wash his face in the bathroom. He looked irritated, appearing even fiercer than usual. He leaned against the railing outside, his gaze unfocused.
He had already made things very clear. He had tried hard not to care about these things anymore. Why did she keep coming back to disturb his life? Why? Those events were like scars carved into his body – they had finally scabbed over, but Shen Yuchun kept appearing, repeatedly tearing open his scars, constantly reminding him of what happened before.
He couldn’t forgive Shen Yuchun, and even less could he forgive Xu Hengyu. His heart struggled repeatedly. A small voice kept telling him: She’s your mother, no matter what, she’s still your mother. You have her blood flowing in you.
But he would never forget that day when Shen Yuchun resolutely told him: “I don’t want to be burdened with baggage.”
She had said she didn’t want him before, and he had finally accepted this fact. Why did she have to come back to find him? Why did she have to disrupt his peaceful life?
And Li Shimin, even on her deathbed, kept calling for “Xiao Yu,” yet she never got to see Xu Hengyu return. No matter what he did, Xu Hengyu never gave him a single smile. After Li Shimin passed away, his relationship with Xu Hengyu dropped to freezing point.
He later learned that Xu Hengyu didn’t return in time because Shen Yuchun had a fever, and he had gone to see her in another town.
A delicate, white finger reached out. Xu Si looked up to meet Jiang Qian’s gaze. Her eyes held a smile, with water droplets still on her eyelashes – she had just washed her face too. She opened her hand, revealing a piece of candy with pink and white wrapping, strawberry flavored.
“Why are you giving me candy?”
“You seemed unhappy. Eating candy makes you happy.”
Finally, focus returned to Xu Si’s clear black and white eyes. He took the candy from her hand and said with some difficulty: “Thank you.”
The candy was strawberry flavored, melting sweetly in his mouth.
Jiang Qian stood beside him: “Although I don’t know why you’re unhappy, eating something sweet will make you feel better.”
Xu Si turned to look at her as she continued: “Before, whenever I was unhappy, I would eat lots of candy. Almost ruined my teeth, but it really did make me happy.”
“If someone who abandoned you before came back, would you forgive them?”
Jiang Qian thought for a moment, then shook her head: “No. Why should I force myself to accept someone who hurt me? Why make myself even more unhappy?”
“You’re right.”
Jiang Qian stared at him for a while, then handed him a piece of paper: “Class is about to start, I’m heading back first.”
Although Xu Si usually looked fierce, and still looked fierce now, when she saw him standing there, she inexplicably noticed a hint of loneliness and unhappiness about him.
Xu Si took the paper, watching her slender figure slowly walk away. He looked down at the paper in his hand.
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